Where do we go from here? This isn't where we intended to be...

[gumdropprincess]

Well that backfired. Here's a question: What do you do when you realize that the thing you love doing most in the entire world that you are most passionate about is not only not what you are meant to do with the rest of your life, but that you're not even good enough to do it casually? I don't think I've ever felt so awful about myself before.

Comments

[absinthequeen]

Is this about auditions? Courtney told me you were there ans she said that you were doing well and she thought you should have stayed. That came out of nowhere, right? Well, first of all that's bull b/c ur amazing. But I understand. I keep wanting to audtion for this ballet stuff and I realize that no matter what I can never do it. Not only am I not good enough...but my body could never be up to the challange. It is a very depressing thought....and I am constantly faced with it when I see musicals...um...even though I loved it...I was uber depressed at Phantom. I don't think anything I'm saying is helping, but I just wanted to say that, as always, lately I've been feeling the same way. And just so u know, in all hoensty you could do musical theatre if u wanted to. You just have to be a little braver next time. I bet you would have gotten cast if you had stayed.

[gumdropprincess]

Well, I know I could have stayed. And you're right, I may have been cast in the chorus or something. But it was like...we were doing this tap number, and I had never even seen most of the combinations and moves before. Which means if I stayed and if I would have been cast, I would have been struggling the entire run of rehearsals to try to keep up with everyone and probably would have felt even worse. Not to mention that my song didn't go as planned. And aside from "me" factors, there is a $50 costume fee plus shoe-buying, plus driving out to south co every night...so there was a mix of things. But mostly, it was just me watching these 2 or 3 girls that sang after me and were literally amazing. I think I had given up before we even went up to tap. It's just hard, ya know? I don't love anything a fraction as much as I love singing and doing theater, and it was just a reminder that I have no direction in my life right now. (No pun intended.) Ummm Wednesday I have semi-made plans already, are you free any other days?

[absinthequeen]

I don't have work tomorrow...i actually have to look at my work schedule again. I forgot the rest of the week after wednesday....cuz...i suck basically.