Comments | gusterbrown: nineteen

gusterbrown

nineteen

Oct 30, 2005 10:09

That's how many days I've gone without contacting Ben. I'm so proud of myself, and, I feel a lot better this morning. Still not 100%, but, I'm going to try to take care of that today. I need to do things to feel productive, I know that much. I'd like to have my friend over, but, not sure if she's going to be able to. We'd watch Firefly if she ( Read more... )

Comments 3

k9soul October 30 2005, 15:22:31 UTC

Good morning Kari :)

I wish I could come hang out with you. We could chat and watch Firefly and make us both forget the problems plaguing us ;). Don't ever think you are weak though, you are quite strong. Sometimes I feel your inner strength has inspired me to find more of my own. You should be proud of yourself, I am proud of you! It's a rainy, somewhat gloomy day today, but overall I'm feeling okay. Remember I'm here if/when you ever want to talk! You have my number.

braunschweiger October 31 2005, 12:43:19 UTC

kari i love you!!! i miss you!! i called your house last night and thought your grandma was you :) haha, but she said you were over at bryan's so maybe later!

i called about the concert but also just to talk to you...

unrelated to my comment but completely related to your post, i have felt that "i want to talk to him but i don't know why because it just hurts more and more every time" feeling, and trying to contact that guy just leaves you more unsatisfied because he never responds like you think he should. i'm sad it's like that, but give me a call sometime this week (any time)

gusterbrown October 31 2005, 14:19:11 UTC

Thank you, Robyn. For reminding me of exactly the way I feel and would feel if I contacted Ben. They never react the way I think they will or want them to. Thank you, thank you. Most of the time, I don't feel that way, but, every now and then, I want to text him. And, I was supposed to be coming to Texas right now, and, he'd said he wanted to see me. And, I kinda thought he'd ask me about that. Blech. But, deep down, I knew he wouldn't. Actually, not that deep down. I knew he'd take the easy way out, and, just let it go. That's the easy, guy way to do everything. It's just sickening when you realize this guy you thought was so unique, turns out to be hardwired exactly the same way as every other unoriginal, uncompassionate (is that the correct way to say that?), thoughtless, cowardly guy out there. Ugh ( ... )