5x01 - Dying Changes Everything
Ridiculously Brilliant Quotes
House 5x01
Patty
“You gonna call an ambulance, or are you just going to sit there and stare?!”
(stupid men)
House [to Cuddy]
“I considered being a horrendous pain in the ass, but I didn't want to tread on your turf.”
House
“I dated her. Well, not really dated her more, metaphorically raped her by having a penis.”
Thirteen
“Yeah, whenever loose some shut-eye, I pound my legs clawing at imaginary ant colonies.”
House
“My patient is still fighting in the feminist trenches, but the war is over. Yesterdays sluts are todays empowered women. Todays sluts are celebrities. If that isn't progress...”
Wilson
“I'm leaving.”
House
“What, are you gonna take another two months? You're really milking this whole bereaving thing aren't you? I mean, good for you. Take all the time that you need.”
Wilson
“I'm resigning.”
House
“I'm not saying you're not in pain.”
Wilson
“You're saying my pain is a cliche”
House
“I'm saying pain fades.”
Wilson
“Did yours?”
House
“Physical pain is different.”
Wilson
“I'd rather have my leg chopped off--”
House
“Well you don't know that because you haven't felt--”
Wilson
“Neither have you.”
House
“I'm busy.”
Thirteen
“We need you to--”
House
“Actually as you can see I'm not busy, that was just a euphemism for 'Get the hell out of here'.”
Wilson
“My girlfriend's dead. I'm glad you've read that book before. I haven't.”
Kutner
“We don't need a CT scan. We don't need House.”
Taub
“Stop grinning and talk.”
Wilson
“I 'd need a flow-chart to explain all the ways in which that was ridiculously insensitive.”
Wilson
“You could ask House to be a grown-up and respect my decision.”
House
“I respect things that deserve respect!”
Thirteen
“This is Dr. House. He's too brilliant for introductions.”
House
“Yank the fetus.”
House
“People get what they get. It has nothing to do with what they deserve.”
House
“People die. You, Amber, everyone. I gave you a diagnosis. You don't like it, there are exits on every floor.”
House
“So your treating professional sports injuries now?
Patient
“Oh, no, I'm not uh--”
House
“--familiar with the concept of sarcasm. Don't sweat it. It's new.”
House [to Cameron]
“What did you do when your husband died?”
Cameron
“I got a new job and I moved.”
(Oh the parallels!)
House
“That's a brilliant idea. I'll take him out for a beer. That'll make up for the fact that Amber's in a pine box. That there's randomness and chaos in the universe.”
House [places his ringing cell phone on Wilson's desk]
Wilson
“It's for you.”
House
“If I told you I was sorry, would it change anything?”
Wilson
“I wouldn't believe you.”
House
“If you believed me.”
Wilson
“It's hard to imagine such a world.”
House
“Your conscience bleeds more freely then my head.”
House
“Your friendship matters more to me then this patient.”
Cuddy
“Mind if I come in?”
House
“Not at all. Mind if I leave?”
House
“I told him I'm sorry. He didn't believe it.”
Cuddy
“Well make him believe it.”
House
“I don't believe it.”
Cuddy
“You don't want to believe it. Because if you tell Wilson how you actually feel, about him about what happened to Amber, about your part in what happened. And he walks out the door anyway. If you make yourself vulnerable for once in your nerve deadening, emotionally obliterating--
[House slams door in her face, but she continues yelling]
--You're doing the same thing he is. Your running away. Except he's not killing anyone in the process.”
House
“You had my cable disconnected!”
Cuddy
“Well that's quite a leap. Just because I happen to have 31 person maintenance department, each of whom you have personally abused at some point--”
House
“Why? Because you think I'm ok with letting someone die but I'm gonna fold if I can't watch Celebrity Bowling.”
Cuddy
“That is not an unreasonable theory. Especially with only 10 minutes until your favorite soap. Oh, gee. Is this the remote to the doctors lounge?”
House
“You go girl.”
Foreman
“Shut up. You're making me miss House's mocking.”
House
“Repression is getting a lot of fans. What you don't face can't crush you.”
Cuddy
“Talk to each other.”
House [to Wilson]
“How you do'n? Good?”
Wilson [sarcasticly]
“Fine, Thanks.”
[and they both get up to leave]
Cuddy
“See the two of you are friends. Look how you both--”
House
“-- think you're and idiot. We both also eat with forks too. That doesn't really prove--”
House
“You told me what your position is on that one, you're against it right?”
Wilson
“She hasn't told you in front of me. She needs to prove she's on my side.”
Cuddy [to Wilson]
“Go to hell.”
House
“So much for that theory.”
(ot3 ftw!!)
Wilson
“Nobody in this hospital even liked Amber.”
House
“Same time next week?”
Kutner
“How do you get coal out of a mountain when it's someone else's mountain? Just because we don't have House, doesn't mean we can't think like him.”
Thirteen
“But it does mean we don't have to talk like him.”
Wilson
“I have to do something.”
Cameron
“Then do it. But don't think it's the right choice, because, there isn't one.”
House
“My bad. Thought 'No' meant 'Yes'.”
House [to Thirteen]
“I like you better now that you're dying.”
House
“Almost dying changes nothing. Dying changes everything.”
Wilson
“I don't blame you. I wanted to. I tried to...”
Wilson
“You spread misery because you can't feel anything else.”
Wilson
“I should have been the one on the bus. You should have been alone on the bus. If I've learned any thing from Amber, it's that I have to take care of myself. We're not friends anymore, House. I'm not sure we ever were.”
--THE END--