[It's honestly a stab in the dark, but he's heard about this from both Kurama and Xander and if it is... He needs to know the truth. He feels weird asking, but unless he goes to Kurama and asks "who's Hakkai" how will he know? This mentioned "worried about me" so it makes sense. Maybe. Or-- Before he can talk himself out of it he blurts out--]
...Uh. Weird question. You aren't Hakkai, are you?
[He switches to private but doesn't even attempt text. He looks very troubled and concerned, but there's a bit of something that might be a warm glow in his voice when he says Kurama's name.]
Kurama-san...he was really upset. He said you got killed for bein' different. An' I trust him, but the guy who said he killed you... didn't seem like a complete bastard. An' maybe this place did something to the two of you to make it happen.
This probably ain't something you wanna talk about, but I know the truth is important, so I wanna find it. For Kurama-san.
[There are so many things Hakkai could say to this. He doesn't even know where to start. Yes, he probably was killed in part because he is a demon. No, Xander isn't a bad person. He is a sad, scared little bigot. Hakkai feels sorry for him. And yes, there was circumstantial interference. A great deal of it, actually. But it doesn't justify anything. Not his rape of Xander, or Xander's murder of him.]
If Kurama wants to know about it then I will tell him --and only him-- in person.
He trusts you. I know I should too; that it should be enough.
[The 'but' there is screaming, even though he doesn't actually voice it.] So I wanna know what really happened. If it's a mistake or something this damn place did, maybe it can get all cleared up.
[He obviously wants to believe that neither Hakkai nor Xander is to blame, but is trying very hard to be cautious and logical.]
[He's quiet for a long time. He knows it's insensitive... but he has to--
oh screw it; he'll just have to trust Kurama, at least for now. Kurama wouldn't be friends with someone terrible; it's impossible. He sighs and scrubs at his face, looking tired, confused and a little frustrated.]
[switch to video]sin_withagrinOctober 4 2011, 04:42:53 UTC
[Hakkai's hands hesitate on the key pad. He was thinking of sending another emotionless text, something to the tune of, "I appreciate your concern, but..."
Then it comes to him that this person must have some reason for contacting him. Hakkai is curious. He switches the camera on.]
Kurama-san...without him I don't think I woulda-- He got me through it. He's my friend. I just wanna...make him happy an' safe an' stuff.
And he was really upset when... He was so upset and I wanted to kick the bastard's head in for killin' you and hurtin' him so bad. What he did to you was wrong, really wrong.
...Except I didn't think he was a complete bastard--not the kind that kills people for shits and giggles. Stupid, prejudiced prick, yeah but... I just dunno any more.
Can't be too kind; no such thing. And he isn't naive or stupid.
[And he shakes his head.]
Wouldn't kill him. I know better, but I still kinda wanna kick him in the head. The things he said really pissed me off. Just 'cause somebody's different doesn't make 'em bad.
I'm not very happy with him either. [Hakkai laughs. He doesn't know what to think anymore.] I mean, I don't care that he killed me, but... because of him Kurama lost his sight and has been worried about me, so...
[It's probably obvious in Hakkai's tone that Kurama is important to him. He's very upset that Kurma has had to suffer because of this. He feels like it's all his fault.]
[That interpretation might not be far from the truth. Hakkai probably couldn't hold it against Xander even if he wanted to-- not after seeing his feelings.
On the other hand, that doesn't make Hakkai a good person.]
I'm afraid you're mistaken. I'm every bit as much of a monster as he makes me out to be.
[And sure, part of him knows that Hakkai could be lying like the killer did, but Kurama trusts him and Kurama isn't a monster, even if there were bad things and he feels guilty.]
...Uh. Weird question. You aren't Hakkai, are you?
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I am.
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Kurama-san...he was really upset. He said you got killed for bein' different. An' I trust him, but the guy who said he killed you... didn't seem like a complete bastard. An' maybe this place did something to the two of you to make it happen.
This probably ain't something you wanna talk about, but I know the truth is important, so I wanna find it. For Kurama-san.
[A little bit protective in that last bit.]
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If Kurama wants to know about it then I will tell him --and only him-- in person.
You may relay this message to him if you wish.
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He trusts you. I know I should too; that it should be enough.
[The 'but' there is screaming, even though he doesn't actually voice it.] So I wanna know what really happened. If it's a mistake or something this damn place did, maybe it can get all cleared up.
[He obviously wants to believe that neither Hakkai nor Xander is to blame, but is trying very hard to be cautious and logical.]
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[He won't respond to any more inquiries about his death. If Kanji wants to keep talking, then he's going to have to change the subject.]
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oh screw it; he'll just have to trust Kurama, at least for now. Kurama wouldn't be friends with someone terrible; it's impossible. He sighs and scrubs at his face, looking tired, confused and a little frustrated.]
Sorry. I'm kinda bein'--
[He doesn't finish that.] Anything I can...?
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Then it comes to him that this person must have some reason for contacting him. Hakkai is curious. He switches the camera on.]
Why do you want to know about this so much?
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And he was really upset when... He was so upset and I wanted to kick the bastard's head in for killin' you and hurtin' him so bad. What he did to you was wrong, really wrong.
...Except I didn't think he was a complete bastard--not the kind that kills people for shits and giggles. Stupid, prejudiced prick, yeah but... I just dunno any more.
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[Hakkai still doesn't think he deserves Kurama, but he's very grateful for him.]
Vengeance, however... I don't think killing Xander would do any good. It wouldn't change anything.
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[And he shakes his head.]
Wouldn't kill him. I know better, but I still kinda wanna kick him in the head. The things he said really pissed me off. Just 'cause somebody's different doesn't make 'em bad.
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[It's probably obvious in Hakkai's tone that Kurama is important to him. He's very upset that Kurma has had to suffer because of this. He feels like it's all his fault.]
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He's wrong about you. You're not bad at all.
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On the other hand, that doesn't make Hakkai a good person.]
I'm afraid you're mistaken. I'm every bit as much of a monster as he makes me out to be.
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[And sure, part of him knows that Hakkai could be lying like the killer did, but Kurama trusts him and Kurama isn't a monster, even if there were bad things and he feels guilty.]
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[And he is, actually.]
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