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[gwenneth]

First off, the girls are HOME! Eve came home on July 2, Lily last Thursday. On Tuesday, Lily weighed 7 pounds 9 ounces and Eve 6 pounds 14 ounces, so they are both getting big! We had a huge ordeal with Lily and her inability to stool on her own for 5 weeks. We had a scare where they were CERTAIN she had Hirschsprung's Disease, not getting into

Comments

[trintheshedevil]

I'm so glad you got them home alright!!! :-)

But yikes. The MIL needs to lay the hell off. Doesn't she realize that although she's the grandma, she's NOT the mother?! Seriously. *shakes head* Don't worry, I would be feeling much like you if I were in your situation. Of course, if it were me, I would just tell her to get the hell out of the house. But I'm evil like that. *g*

Something for you to look forward to - my friend's babe just turned 6 months. We took her to Ham's tonight. Amusement for all.

[gwenneth]

Well MY MOM told HIS MOM I would call to apologize to her tomorrow about how ERIC told her "Kate doesn't want you to come tomorrow" and upset her!? Why do III have to do the apologizing? This is all so unfair I'm going to go have a drink...screw breast pumping for a few days. I know that's not the answer, trust me I know, but it makes me FEEL GOOD and I damn well want to feel good right now. Glad to see you agree that the MIL has to back off. I don't CARE if their family gets together almost every other damn day. I saw my grandparents once or twice a YEAR and I turned out fine. It looks like now we will try to arrange it for twice a week. I guess I can handle that. Eric's problem is that he said, "This is how my family is..." I get that, but look at how MY family is, and take into account that IIII am the one home for those 6-7 hours she spends here. NOT HIM. Why can't she come over when he IS here? At night, on a weekend, something. That way IIII don't have to sit there and deal with her! But of course, he sits there on MY computer

[trintheshedevil]

You shouldn't have to apologize. YOU are the mother, they're YOUR kids, that means YOU decide what is best for them. NOBODY knows what you went through except you, therefore they should just shut up and let you make the rules. If they don't like it, well whatever, they can get over it.

I know what you mean about the drink. Sometimes, you just gotta take a few minutes for you. :-)

Do not worry about the venting. You deserve a good rant, after all you have been through, and what with the relatives and all. You more than deserve it. I wish you luck with them but they seem to me like the stubborn type, and ugghhh at that.

But your kids? Totally adorable, absolutely beautiful. Well done. :D

[frenchpony]

Hooray! The babies are home, the babies are home! I was just thinking about them earlier, and wondered how they were doing. It's like you read my mind or something. They are so adorable now! They really look like regular babies, you can't tell that they were so precarious for two months there.

Does your MIL hold both babies at once? I was thinking maybe, what with there being two of them and all, you could share. Each hold one baby and trade off every now and then. But her holding both at once is just selfish. And probably awkward, too.

On the other hand, I don't think it's possible to spoil a two-month-old by holding them all the time. It's a very American thing to think that, but it's not true. Two-month-old babies are pretty much designed to be held as much as possible, and picked up when they cry.

[gwenneth]

Interesting that you say 2-month-olds are designed to be held and picked up when they cry. You're the first one to say that!? The girls, adjusted age, are really only newborns though. They said their adjusted age is what they would be if they were born on their due date, which was last week. So I guess we should be treating them like newborns...of course I don't know how to treat newborns...I've never had one

[frenchpony]

Yes, ask them to clear out for a week. No, actually, don't ask them. Demand that they clear out, and when they come anyway, don't let them in. You should have a week to yourselves. Any parents with new babies at home for the first time ought to have time to themselves. Four hour visits are too long for that sort of situation anyway. Half an hour would be better.

Certainly newborns are even more designed to be picked up and held and cuddled than two-month-olds. I know that it's bucking a powerful cultural trend to say this, but "training" babies to be "independent" at that age is useless. It's just more stress for you and for them, that none of you need. Time enough to nudge them out of the nest later on.

Speaking of which, here's a story about another mother of twins that you might get a good laugh out of.

[leggylover03]

The babies are adorable, and I have been in your shoes. MIL drove me NUTS. She started a argument in the hospital nursery when my daughter was 5 minutes old. It was so bad they were thrown out, to which she came in the recovery room to yell at me.

So we got home and she berated me nonstop the entire time she was there. I was livid.

*hugs* do not take ANY crap. Tell her to heave ho. To hell with any stress now.

[meggins]

I'm so happy the babies are home. They look great.

I'm so distressed at your situation with your MIL. Yes, she means well, and I'm sure she's thrilled with her granddaughters, but you're the mother. You need bonding time with Lily and Eve, especially since it was mostly denied to you while they were in NICU. Four-hour visits every day or nearly every day is overdoing it. Cut back either frequency or length. You have to set limits--and Eric should back you up. It doesn't matter how his family is/was. What matters right now is what you and the babies need.

Best wishes!