Ah Kate here is where I must give you my opinion/advice. Screw him and what he wants point blank. Trust me on this one. I have been married for 14 years now,and I know when to say screw you.
I also slapped him in the back of the head a couple of times, to alert to him that his child was crying and to get off his lazy ass and pick him/her up. The shock factor works.
Never, ever let him placate you into a sense of security or into thinking your only purpose is to raise the kids. Do what you wish, and let nothing stop you. I tell mine, "You help put them there, and you can damn sure help raise them."
You're both young--and you've had so much thrust upon you. Parenthood is an adjustment for any one. Having twins ups the ante. Having had twins who had a scary beginning makes it even more intense. You've coped magnificently, but maybe your husband is scared. My first husband freaked out when our son was born. I'm not kidding. It's like he went into shock.
I'm not saying that is the answer in your situation, but it might be part of it. Avoiding you lets him avoid thinking about his new life circumstances. You would know better than I how to help your husband overcome that. I do agree with leggylover03 that Eric needs to step up and help with the girls, and not necessarily just when they're docile. He should help with housework, too, but first things first. Yes, he works, but so do you. Just because you don't, sadly, get paid for it doesn't mean you're not putting in the time and effort.
You both need to pull together to make a marriage and a life for your daughters. It shouldn't all be on one person.
oh wow. I am so sorry about all that. I dont really have any advice to give, but I can see where you are standing. I think he does need to buckle down and do something besides sit on the computer and be a lazy butt. Especially devote some time to you. You need to know that your loved too, and dealing with the kids and housework, a little time with you might make things a little better. :/ hope things work out.
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I also slapped him in the back of the head a couple of times, to alert to him that his child was crying and to get off his lazy ass and pick him/her up. The shock factor works.
Never, ever let him placate you into a sense of security or into thinking your only purpose is to raise the kids. Do what you wish, and let nothing stop you. I tell mine, "You help put them there, and you can damn sure help raise them."
I hope this helps.
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I'm not saying that is the answer in your situation, but it might be part of it. Avoiding you lets him avoid thinking about his new life circumstances. You would know better than I how to help your husband overcome that. I do agree with leggylover03 that Eric needs to step up and help with the girls, and not necessarily just when they're docile. He should help with housework, too, but first things first. Yes, he works, but so do you. Just because you don't, sadly, get paid for it doesn't mean you're not putting in the time and effort.
You both need to pull together to make a marriage and a life for your daughters. It shouldn't all be on one person.
Good luck!
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:/ hope things work out.
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