Lost then Found 4/15
Chapter 4:
For the next six hours, Kurt tried to focus on ‘True Blood’, and
when that didn’t work, he sat down at his keyboard and tried to practice
a few songs for some open casting calls.
It didn’t help, though, all he could think about was what Dave
and Lance were doing. Did they go to the red steps and kiss on them, or
did they go on a late night carriage ride like he and Dave had done.
Were they having a good time?
He was going crazy. He put on his tennis shoes, grabbed a hoodie, and decided it was time for a walk.
He walked around the city noticing all the couples out and about,
enjoying dates on that Friday evening, couples holding hands, kissing
in Central Park under the twinkling lights, people laughing and having a
good time. He really, really hated it.
And not the, ‘I hate love and never want to get married’ kind of
way, but the ‘I hate that everyone else is so happy, when I am not’ sort
of way.
That feeling was new. It was the first time he’d felt it since
Blaine had told him he was leaving him for Jesse St. James, because he
and Kurt were too much alike. There was no passion or chemistry between
them.
Kurt obviously knew it was the truth, but he didn’t care. How
dare Blaine Anderson leave him two days before he went away to college?
Truthfully, he wasn’t even really that angry at Blaine for leaving him.
It was that he had found Jesse, and knew instantly he was the one for
him.
Kurt had never found it, not with Finn, Blaine, Puck, Sam or any
of the straight guys he had developed crushes on. His first kiss was
with a deeply closeted boy, and his first kiss and time with Blaine was
so joyless and passionless, he wondered if he would ever find it.
But then he went to college and things changed. He quickly
discovered that sex could be good, even without the emotional
attachment, and he could have the emotional attachment with Dave without
putting himself out there and going for everything, a real
relationship.
Kurt knew that he had made a huge mistake by trying to protect
his heart for so many years and for thinking that sex without love and
love without sex was the perfect way to live his life, because he wanted
both, and he wanted it with one person. Unfortunately, that one person
had gotten tired of waiting for him to realize it, and was now engaged.
Kurt’s big epiphany came as he walked in Central Park. He passed
the tree that he and Dave had had a picnic under the last time he was in
town, and when Dave had said that he loved being Kurt’s friend, but he
couldn’t uproot his life for friendship, Kurt had been oblivious to what
Dave had been telling him. He wasn’t oblivious now.
Everything he saw now was a blaring and constant reminder of how
he had fucked up, how he had a chance to be with Dave, to really be with
him, and instead he’d kept the walls up and pushed Dave away again. He
was a fool.
Kurt could feel the tears welling up and he didn’t care. He was
finally grieving over the loss. He knew he had had his shot with Dave
and it was his own damn fault for never taking it. He knew that he
wouldn’t get that chance again, and he was letting it go.
Dave was happy with Lance, even if Lance looked like a douchebag and his smile didn’t reach his eyes.
Kurt brushed the tears away angrily from his eyes as he walked to the edge of Central Park.
He really needed to talk to Dave and apologize for everything and
let him know that he fully supported him. He didn’t have a right to be
bitter or angry or upset about something he had done to himself.
Kurt walked into his apartment, and threw his keys into the bowl.
He spotted the spare key he had made for Dave and realized he must’ve
come back from the date already.
He downed the last of his latte and threw it in the garbage.
He looked around and didn’t see Dave in the living room, but then heard the toilet flushing and then the sink running.
He pulled his hoodie around himself tighter and knew he must look
like crap, but he didn’t have time to change, and well, he really
wanted to know why Dave was home so early.
Dave walked out, spotted Kurt in a ratty hoodie, ripped jeans, and some Nike tennis shoes.
“Wow, Kurt. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this before.”
“Like what? Comfortable? I went for a walk in Central Park and I put on tennis shoes and a hoodie.”
“I must admit, it’s not a bad look on you, although I am used to seeing you relatively nicer.”
“Yeah, well, sometimes I need to lower myself to the normal person’s standard of fashion.”
“I’m sure you were trying to insult me in there somewhere, but
seeing as you’re dressed like that, I’m going to pretend you didn’t.”
“Anyway, why are you home so early? Weren’t you and Lance having some grand romantic date?”
“We did. The dinner was nice, and I he took me to the red stairs
and then we went on a romantic carriage ride through Central Park. Then
we got ice cream and then he got a phone call from his father saying he
needed to go to his office for urgent business and that was the end.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I know you were hoping to spend quality time with Lance.”
“Well, I don’t even mind the business taking him away. It’s just I
asked him why he was so against helping with the wedding and he was
like, “I really don’t care about stuff like that at all. I have faith
that your friend and Sasha can figure it out.” I don’t know. I was just
hoping he’d care a little bit, you know?”
“I know, Dave, but come on. You’ve got to admit that this stuff
isn’t even your thing. You are more than happy to let me and Sasha take
over and just show up when you need. I know that you don’t care about
the flowers or the invitations, or the clothes, so, I’m letting you off
the hook. You don’t have to do all this stuff with me. I’ll just bite
my tongue and swallow my pride and work with Sasha, okay?”
“You’d do that for me?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m shocked.”
“Why? Because I’m doing something nice?”
“Well, yeah. I mean, come on Kurt. This coming from the guy who
told me on my birthday, that the party you planned for me was actually
about you.”
“You wanted to have a stripper jump out of a cake for your 22nd
birthday, in which you had invited your mother. So yeah, I was gonna put
my foot down on that one.”
“Anyway, it’s nice to see you being so selfless.”
“Well, I’ve been doing some soul searching the past few days,
since you’ve been here, and I realize that I have been a pretty terrible
friend to you. And I want to make it up to you. So bring on the wicked
witch of the west and her monkeys.”
“Kurt, you are my best friend, I wouldn’t trade you for anything.”
“I know, and I don’t understand why you would feel that way. I
basically treated you like dirt and was totally oblivious to your
feelings for me, for like, six years. “
“What do you mean?”
“I mean I finally woke up and realized that I was putting you
through hell by constantly dragging my sexual conquests through your
life, when you were waiting for me to wake up and realize that you were
in love with me.”
“How do you figure that?”
“Well, I talked to Santana.”
“And she told you…”
“No, she didn’t tell me anything. She was really the opposite of
helpful, actually, but I did realize that I was taking my anger and
jealousy of you marrying Lance out on you, and it’s not your fault. It’s
mine. Because I pushed you away when you tried to get close and I was
oblivious to how you felt and I kept my walls up. I mean, I don’t know
why you are still here and still my friend, because truthfully, I
wouldn’t be friends with me.”
“Well, mostly it’s because I got over you and found Lance. I
mean, yeah, you have your flaws and you sleep with guys who are not at
all right for you, but deep down you are a loving, caring guy. And we
may not have been in a romantic relationship, but my relationship with
you has been one of the most rewarding and fulfilling of my life. I
enjoy hanging out with you and being your friend.”
“You are a much bigger man than I am, ‘cause I can’t do that.”
“Can’t do what? Be my friend?”
“I just don’t know how you buried your feelings for me all these
years. Because I have one weird sex dream about you, and all the things
that have happened in our relationship come flooding back to me and
throw me for a loop.”
“What are you saying, Kurt?”
“I’m saying that every time I’m around you, I freak out. And
then I talk to Santana and realize that I had feelings for you all these
years that weren’t just platonic and I buried them and because I didn’t
deal with them. Then, you got engaged and it just made me realize that
I missed out on being with you. So now, I’m really upset and sad, and I
have no idea what I’m really feeling, or if it’s real, or if I’m just
being stupid yet again.”
There was silence.
Kurt winced, “And I’m stupid. I can’t believe I Just said that. I
was supposed to come here, apologize for being a douche bag, offer to
help out in whatever way I can, and not tell you that I think I’m in
love with you and always have been. But instead, I just made a fool of
myself. Please excuse me, while I go kill myself.”
Kurt was crying now and he knew he looked stupid and vulnerable
and that was why he hated opening up to men. He was going to get his
heart broken again, he knew it.
He turned to walk back out the door, when suddenly a flash of blue was in front of him, blocking the door.
Dave stared into his eyes for a few minutes and he sighed then drew Kurt to him.
Then Kurt was being kissed and not a ‘you’re my best friend and
I’m really sorry I have to let you down easy’ kiss, but an ‘if I don’t
kiss you right the fuck now, I may die’ kiss.
He was not expecting that at all. In fact, the ways he did
imagine it would go down would have been either Dave punched him in the
face and told him to get the fuck out of his life, or he’d be told,
“you’re my best friend, Kurt, but I don’t love you like that. You had
your chance and blew it, repeatedly.” Admittedly, the actual scenario
playing out was better than either option.
Then he realized it would probably be a good idea to kiss Dave back at some point.
So he did, and the next he knew, his legs were wrapped around Dave’s waist and he was on the bed.
Dave’s hands were framing either side of his face and then he was
being kissed again, and this time tongues were dancing and battling for
dominance, and hands were definitely south of where they had been
before and he’s about ready to explode from the anticipation.
Apparently, he’s going to sleep with Dave tonight, and it’s probably
going to be the best he’s ever had, because for the first time ever,
he’d be sleeping with someone he’s actually in love with.
Kurt was glad he wore the ratty jeans, because they slid off easily, and
his next thought was how big Dave’s hands are as they are sliding his
pants and boxer briefs down and over his aching and already very hard
and dripping cock.
Kurt groans as he feels the sensation.
He hurriedly strips his hoodie and shirt off and he’s completely naked.
He looks up at Dave who is wearing a blue dress shirt, and black dress pants.
His shirt is untucked and it’s half unbuttoned, and the fly of his pants is already unzipped.
Kurt quickly pulls the pants off and his boxers and Dave rips the rest of his shirt open and off.
Normally, Kurt would yell at Dave for ruining his clothing, but at this moment he doesn’t give a shit.
All he wants right now is for Dave’s cock in his ass, mouth, really anywhere.
Dave is looking at Kurt hungrily, and Kurt suddenly feels
self-conscious for the first time since he was 18 and had sex with
Blaine in the back of his Toyota Corolla, three days before Blaine left
him for Jesse.
But the way Dave is looking at him is filled with lust, desire,
passion, affection, and something else. Blaine had never had that look.
And Kurt felt his heart squeeze in his chest and he tried to cover up.
“Don’t, Kurt. You’re beautiful. Just let me look at you.”
Kurt stilled on the bed and lay there with his cock jutting straight up and his skin flushed with desire.
Dave then joined him on the bed and rejoined his lips to Kurt’s.
Dave’s large, rough hands slid down Kurt’s milky, smooth chest
and torso, and his fingers which were warm and rough wrapped around his
cock.
Kurt keened and bucked into Dave’s fingers which were barely forming a circle.
It was perfect, the right amount of pressure and Kurt knew if that continued, it would be a very short session.
Dave’s fingers were gone then and he left the room.
Kurt thought that Dave was finally coming to his senses and
stopping, but when went to the door to apologize, Dave was simply
grabbing condoms and lube from his bag.
Kurt couldn’t believe it. This was actually happening, and with Dave.
Kurt jumped back on the bed and waited for Dave to return.
The air was heavy and the silence was almost deafening.
Dave popped the lid of the lube open, and within a few seconds,
Dave was grabbing Kurt’s legs and putting them over his shoulders. He
readied two fingers and started stroking at his hole.
First one, and then another, and then he finally breached it with
one finger. Kurt groaned and tried to adjust to the aching pressure he
felt. Then a second was added and Kurt bit down and forced himself to
relax into the bed. Finally a third and fourth finger were added, and
Dave expertly opened Kurt up for him. With each brush of his fingers he
rubbed against Kurt’s prostate and Kurt cried out.
He wasn’t sure he could last because he was already building to a
precipice, but Dave withdrew his fingers. Kurt moaned from the lack of
contact, and he shivered as every fiber and nerve in his body seemed to
be on edge.
Kurt could hear a condom package being ripped open, and he
watched as Dave sheathed himself in the condom and lathered himself in
lube.
He bent down and grabbed Kurt’s hips and bent him in half.
At first, Kurt had no idea what he was doing, then he felt the
tongue lapping at his hole around and around and then over and finally
in.
And he was whimpering and fisting the sheets that he had paid at least one hundred dollars for, and he didn’t care.
This is what he had been missing.
Then the tongue was gone, and Dave was angled over him and pressing his cock bluntly against his entrance.
Kurt reached down and spread himself, he just wanted Dave inside him. He didn’t care anymore.
Then Dave was sliding home, and Kurt was shuddering from the
immense pain and overwhelming spurts of pleasure coursing through his
ass down to his legs and feet.
He was still bent in half as Dave lowered himself and then he finally bottomed out.
And with this angle, Dave had managed to be pressing directly on
his prostate. Every flinch, every move sent shockwaves through him.
And they still weren’t talking. Not a single word had been said
by either since Kurt had admitted to Dave he was in love with him.
It was hot, it was disconcerting, and frankly, with Dave’s cock pulsing in Kurt’s ass, Kurt just wanted Dave to move.
He squeezed Dave’s thighs and then nodded.
And then Dave was moving. Over and over, he thrust into Kurt’s
prostate and without even needing to touch himself or hear any words.
The constant shock of pleasure coursing through him sent Kurt
dangerously close to the edge.
Then Dave sighed and whispered under his breath, but loud enough for Kurt to still hear,
“I wish I didn’t love you.”
Then Kurt was gone. He was mumbling incoherently and chanting
what he thought was Dave’s name over and over. He saw white flashes and
explosions behind his eyes as he came. When he finally started coming
down from his high, he realized he had been chanting,
“I love you, I love you, I love you” over and over and over. He
was still shuddering through the last of his orgasm and his walls were
clenching around Dave.
Within a few seconds Dave thrust twice more and then went still
as he came deep in Kurt, and the only word Kurt heard was, “love…”
Dave slid out as he started to soften, and Kurt winced. He had
been right, of course. It was the best sex he had ever had, and whoever
said that sex is best when you’re in love, was absolutely right.
Then Dave walked to the bathroom, and within a few minutes was back and wiping himself and Kurt up.
He took one look at Kurt, who watched as Dave stood there watching him.
He knew Dave was struggling with what to say, and he reached out to try and tell him he didn’t need to say anything.
Then the fireworks happened.
Dave was shaking and Kurt realized then he wasn’t cold or in shock over what had happened, he was angry.
“How fucking dare you, Kurt?”
“How dare I what?”
“How dare you tell me you’re in love with me. You knew I had a fiancé.”
“Correct me if I’m wrong here, Dave, but so did you. Why are you yelling at me, when you also participated?”
“I can’t believe I fell for your crying crap. What, you thought
you could turn on the waterworks and then ruin my life by sleeping with
me, so I wouldn’t marry Lance and then tell me, ‘oh well it was a
one-time thing’?”
“You seriously though I would pour my fucking soul out to you ,
cry in front of you, and admit that I’m in love with you and have been
since college, just so I could sleep with you in a one-night stand?
Fuck you, Dave. What I said tonight was genuine, it was real. When have
you ever fucking seen me cry besides the anniversary of the death of my
mom?”
“I can’t handle this right now, Kurt. This was the biggest
mistake I’ve ever made in my life. I love you as a friend, Kurt, but
I’m not in love with you, and I may have just put my entire future in
jeopardy because you were able to manipulate me yet again.”
Kurt felt like he had been punched.
“Okay, fine. Sleeping with me was the biggest mistake you’ve ever
made, including the time you told the police woman who pulled you over
that she was the ugliest woman you’d ever seen and then got arrested? I
didn’t set out to hurt you or destroy your life, and I’m sorry you feel
that way.”
“I can’t stay here anymore.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, I need to find a hotel. I can’t be around you right now and I need to time to think.”
“Do you want me to help you find a place?”
“No, Kurt. What part of ‘you leave me alone, I don’t want anything to do with you’, don’t you understand?”
“Fine. I’m going to go down to the diner. You can use my laptop to find a hotel. I’ll give you two hours.”
Kurt really was just broken by that point. He had fucked up
majorly, and he knew it. He had slept with his best friend who was
engaged to another man, and he had basically ensured his best friend
would never speak to him again.
Kurt left and went down to the diner where he ordered a root beer float and cried into it.
Two hours later he was back at his apartment and all traces of Dave were gone, except his cologne.
He needed to fix this. He couldn’t imagine a life without Dave in
it. Dave was like his rock, and not having someone to call and just be
yourself around whenever you need it was a depressing thought.
For the next six hours, Kurt tried to focus on ‘True Blood’, and
when that didn’t work, he sat down at his keyboard and tried to practice
a few songs for some open casting calls.
It didn’t help, though, all he could think about was what Dave
and Lance were doing. Did they go to the red steps and kiss on them, or
did they go on a late night carriage ride like he and Dave had done.
Were they having a good time?
He was going crazy. He put on his tennis shoes, grabbed a hoodie, and decided it was time for a walk.
He walked around the city noticing all the couples out and about,
enjoying dates on that Friday evening, couples holding hands, kissing
in Central Park under the twinkling lights, people laughing and having a
good time. He really, really hated it.
And not the, ‘I hate love and never want to get married’ kind of
way, but the ‘I hate that everyone else is so happy, when I am not’ sort
of way.
That feeling was new. It was the first time he’d felt it since
Blaine had told him he was leaving him for Jesse St. James, because he
and Kurt were too much alike. There was no passion or chemistry between
them.
Kurt obviously knew it was the truth, but he didn’t care. How
dare Blaine Anderson leave him two days before he went away to college?
Truthfully, he wasn’t even really that angry at Blaine for leaving him.
It was that he had found Jesse, and knew instantly he was the one for
him.
Kurt had never found it, not with Finn, Blaine, Puck, Sam or any
of the straight guys he had developed crushes on. His first kiss was
with a deeply closeted boy, and his first kiss and time with Blaine was
so joyless and passionless, he wondered if he would ever find it.
But then he went to college and things changed. He quickly
discovered that sex could be good, even without the emotional
attachment, and he could have the emotional attachment with Dave without
putting himself out there and going for everything, a real
relationship.
Kurt knew that he had made a huge mistake by trying to protect
his heart for so many years and for thinking that sex without love and
love without sex was the perfect way to live his life, because he wanted
both, and he wanted it with one person. Unfortunately, that one person
had gotten tired of waiting for him to realize it, and was now engaged.
Kurt’s big epiphany came as he walked in Central Park. He passed
the tree that he and Dave had had a picnic under the last time he was in
town, and when Dave had said that he loved being Kurt’s friend, but he
couldn’t uproot his life for friendship, Kurt had been oblivious to what
Dave had been telling him. He wasn’t oblivious now.
Everything he saw now was a blaring and constant reminder of how
he had fucked up, how he had a chance to be with Dave, to really be with
him, and instead he’d kept the walls up and pushed Dave away again. He
was a fool.
Kurt could feel the tears welling up and he didn’t care. He was
finally grieving over the loss. He knew he had had his shot with Dave
and it was his own damn fault for never taking it. He knew that he
wouldn’t get that chance again, and he was letting it go.
Dave was happy with Lance, even if Lance looked like a douchebag and his smile didn’t reach his eyes.
Kurt brushed the tears away angrily from his eyes as he walked to the edge of Central Park.
He really needed to talk to Dave and apologize for everything and
let him know that he fully supported him. He didn’t have a right to be
bitter or angry or upset about something he had done to himself.
Kurt walked into his apartment, and threw his keys into the bowl.
He spotted the spare key he had made for Dave and realized he must’ve
come back from the date already.
He downed the last of his latte and threw it in the garbage.
He looked around and didn’t see Dave in the living room, but then heard the toilet flushing and then the sink running.
He pulled his hoodie around himself tighter and knew he must look
like crap, but he didn’t have time to change, and well, he really
wanted to know why Dave was home so early.
Dave walked out, spotted Kurt in a ratty hoodie, ripped jeans, and some Nike tennis shoes.
“Wow, Kurt. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this before.”
“Like what? Comfortable? I went for a walk in Central Park and I put on tennis shoes and a hoodie.”
“I must admit, it’s not a bad look on you, although I am used to seeing you relatively nicer.”
“Yeah, well, sometimes I need to lower myself to the normal person’s standard of fashion.”
“I’m sure you were trying to insult me in there somewhere, but
seeing as you’re dressed like that, I’m going to pretend you didn’t.”
“Anyway, why are you home so early? Weren’t you and Lance having some grand romantic date?”
“We did. The dinner was nice, and I he took me to the red stairs
and then we went on a romantic carriage ride through Central Park. Then
we got ice cream and then he got a phone call from his father saying he
needed to go to his office for urgent business and that was the end.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I know you were hoping to spend quality time with Lance.”
“Well, I don’t even mind the business taking him away. It’s just I
asked him why he was so against helping with the wedding and he was
like, “I really don’t care about stuff like that at all. I have faith
that your friend and Sasha can figure it out.” I don’t know. I was just
hoping he’d care a little bit, you know?”
“I know, Dave, but come on. You’ve got to admit that this stuff
isn’t even your thing. You are more than happy to let me and Sasha take
over and just show up when you need. I know that you don’t care about
the flowers or the invitations, or the clothes, so, I’m letting you off
the hook. You don’t have to do all this stuff with me. I’ll just bite
my tongue and swallow my pride and work with Sasha, okay?”
“You’d do that for me?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m shocked.”
“Why? Because I’m doing something nice?”
“Well, yeah. I mean, come on Kurt. This coming from the guy who
told me on my birthday, that the party you planned for me was actually
about you.”
“You wanted to have a stripper jump out of a cake for your 22nd
birthday, in which you had invited your mother. So yeah, I was gonna put
my foot down on that one.”
“Anyway, it’s nice to see you being so selfless.”
“Well, I’ve been doing some soul searching the past few days,
since you’ve been here, and I realize that I have been a pretty terrible
friend to you. And I want to make it up to you. So bring on the wicked
witch of the west and her monkeys.”
“Kurt, you are my best friend, I wouldn’t trade you for anything.”
“I know, and I don’t understand why you would feel that way. I
basically treated you like dirt and was totally oblivious to your
feelings for me, for like, six years. “
“What do you mean?”
“I mean I finally woke up and realized that I was putting you
through hell by constantly dragging my sexual conquests through your
life, when you were waiting for me to wake up and realize that you were
in love with me.”
“How do you figure that?”
“Well, I talked to Santana.”
“And she told you…”
“No, she didn’t tell me anything. She was really the opposite of
helpful, actually, but I did realize that I was taking my anger and
jealousy of you marrying Lance out on you, and it’s not your fault. It’s
mine. Because I pushed you away when you tried to get close and I was
oblivious to how you felt and I kept my walls up. I mean, I don’t know
why you are still here and still my friend, because truthfully, I
wouldn’t be friends with me.”
“Well, mostly it’s because I got over you and found Lance. I
mean, yeah, you have your flaws and you sleep with guys who are not at
all right for you, but deep down you are a loving, caring guy. And we
may not have been in a romantic relationship, but my relationship with
you has been one of the most rewarding and fulfilling of my life. I
enjoy hanging out with you and being your friend.”
“You are a much bigger man than I am, ‘cause I can’t do that.”
“Can’t do what? Be my friend?”
“I just don’t know how you buried your feelings for me all these
years. Because I have one weird sex dream about you, and all the things
that have happened in our relationship come flooding back to me and
throw me for a loop.”
“What are you saying, Kurt?”
“I’m saying that every time I’m around you, I freak out. And
then I talk to Santana and realize that I had feelings for you all these
years that weren’t just platonic and I buried them and because I didn’t
deal with them. Then, you got engaged and it just made me realize that
I missed out on being with you. So now, I’m really upset and sad, and I
have no idea what I’m really feeling, or if it’s real, or if I’m just
being stupid yet again.”
There was silence.
Kurt winced, “And I’m stupid. I can’t believe I Just said that. I
was supposed to come here, apologize for being a douche bag, offer to
help out in whatever way I can, and not tell you that I think I’m in
love with you and always have been. But instead, I just made a fool of
myself. Please excuse me, while I go kill myself.”
Kurt was crying now and he knew he looked stupid and vulnerable
and that was why he hated opening up to men. He was going to get his
heart broken again, he knew it.
He turned to walk back out the door, when suddenly a flash of blue was in front of him, blocking the door.
Dave stared into his eyes for a few minutes and he sighed then drew Kurt to him.
Then Kurt was being kissed and not a ‘you’re my best friend and
I’m really sorry I have to let you down easy’ kiss, but an ‘if I don’t
kiss you right the fuck now, I may die’ kiss.
He was not expecting that at all. In fact, the ways he did
imagine it would go down would have been either Dave punched him in the
face and told him to get the fuck out of his life, or he’d be told,
“you’re my best friend, Kurt, but I don’t love you like that. You had
your chance and blew it, repeatedly.” Admittedly, the actual scenario
playing out was better than either option.
Then he realized it would probably be a good idea to kiss Dave back at some point.
So he did, and the next he knew, his legs were wrapped around Dave’s waist and he was on the bed.
Dave’s hands were framing either side of his face and then he was
being kissed again, and this time tongues were dancing and battling for
dominance, and hands were definitely south of where they had been
before and he’s about ready to explode from the anticipation.
Apparently, he’s going to sleep with Dave tonight, and it’s probably
going to be the best he’s ever had, because for the first time ever,
he’d be sleeping with someone he’s actually in love with.
Kurt was glad he wore the ratty jeans, because they slid off easily, and
his next thought was how big Dave’s hands are as they are sliding his
pants and boxer briefs down and over his aching and already very hard
and dripping cock.
Kurt groans as he feels the sensation.
He hurriedly strips his hoodie and shirt off and he’s completely naked.
He looks up at Dave who is wearing a blue dress shirt, and black dress pants.
His shirt is untucked and it’s half unbuttoned, and the fly of his pants is already unzipped.
Kurt quickly pulls the pants off and his boxers and Dave rips the rest of his shirt open and off.
Normally, Kurt would yell at Dave for ruining his clothing, but at this moment he doesn’t give a shit.
All he wants right now is for Dave’s cock in his ass, mouth, really anywhere.
Dave is looking at Kurt hungrily, and Kurt suddenly feels
self-conscious for the first time since he was 18 and had sex with
Blaine in the back of his Toyota Corolla, three days before Blaine left
him for Jesse.
But the way Dave is looking at him is filled with lust, desire,
passion, affection, and something else. Blaine had never had that look.
And Kurt felt his heart squeeze in his chest and he tried to cover up.
“Don’t, Kurt. You’re beautiful. Just let me look at you.”
Kurt stilled on the bed and lay there with his cock jutting straight up and his skin flushed with desire.
Dave then joined him on the bed and rejoined his lips to Kurt’s.
Dave’s large, rough hands slid down Kurt’s milky, smooth chest
and torso, and his fingers which were warm and rough wrapped around his
cock.
Kurt keened and bucked into Dave’s fingers which were barely forming a circle.
It was perfect, the right amount of pressure and Kurt knew if that continued, it would be a very short session.
Dave’s fingers were gone then and he left the room.
Kurt thought that Dave was finally coming to his senses and
stopping, but when went to the door to apologize, Dave was simply
grabbing condoms and lube from his bag.
Kurt couldn’t believe it. This was actually happening, and with Dave.
Kurt jumped back on the bed and waited for Dave to return.
The air was heavy and the silence was almost deafening.
Dave popped the lid of the lube open, and within a few seconds,
Dave was grabbing Kurt’s legs and putting them over his shoulders. He
readied two fingers and started stroking at his hole.
First one, and then another, and then he finally breached it with
one finger. Kurt groaned and tried to adjust to the aching pressure he
felt. Then a second was added and Kurt bit down and forced himself to
relax into the bed. Finally a third and fourth finger were added, and
Dave expertly opened Kurt up for him. With each brush of his fingers he
rubbed against Kurt’s prostate and Kurt cried out.
He wasn’t sure he could last because he was already building to a
precipice, but Dave withdrew his fingers. Kurt moaned from the lack of
contact, and he shivered as every fiber and nerve in his body seemed to
be on edge.
Kurt could hear a condom package being ripped open, and he
watched as Dave sheathed himself in the condom and lathered himself in
lube.
He bent down and grabbed Kurt’s hips and bent him in half.
At first, Kurt had no idea what he was doing, then he felt the
tongue lapping at his hole around and around and then over and finally
in.
And he was whimpering and fisting the sheets that he had paid at least one hundred dollars for, and he didn’t care.
This is what he had been missing.
Then the tongue was gone, and Dave was angled over him and pressing his cock bluntly against his entrance.
Kurt reached down and spread himself, he just wanted Dave inside him. He didn’t care anymore.
Then Dave was sliding home, and Kurt was shuddering from the
immense pain and overwhelming spurts of pleasure coursing through his
ass down to his legs and feet.
He was still bent in half as Dave lowered himself and then he finally bottomed out.
And with this angle, Dave had managed to be pressing directly on
his prostate. Every flinch, every move sent shockwaves through him.
And they still weren’t talking. Not a single word had been said
by either since Kurt had admitted to Dave he was in love with him.
It was hot, it was disconcerting, and frankly, with Dave’s cock pulsing in Kurt’s ass, Kurt just wanted Dave to move.
He squeezed Dave’s thighs and then nodded.
And then Dave was moving. Over and over, he thrust into Kurt’s
prostate and without even needing to touch himself or hear any words.
The constant shock of pleasure coursing through him sent Kurt
dangerously close to the edge.
Then Dave sighed and whispered under his breath, but loud enough for Kurt to still hear,
“I wish I didn’t love you.”
Then Kurt was gone. He was mumbling incoherently and chanting
what he thought was Dave’s name over and over. He saw white flashes and
explosions behind his eyes as he came. When he finally started coming
down from his high, he realized he had been chanting,
“I love you, I love you, I love you” over and over and over. He
was still shuddering through the last of his orgasm and his walls were
clenching around Dave.
Within a few seconds Dave thrust twice more and then went still
as he came deep in Kurt, and the only word Kurt heard was, “love…”
Dave slid out as he started to soften, and Kurt winced. He had
been right, of course. It was the best sex he had ever had, and whoever
said that sex is best when you’re in love, was absolutely right.
Then Dave walked to the bathroom, and within a few minutes was back and wiping himself and Kurt up.
He took one look at Kurt, who watched as Dave stood there watching him.
He knew Dave was struggling with what to say, and he reached out to try and tell him he didn’t need to say anything.
Then the fireworks happened.
Dave was shaking and Kurt realized then he wasn’t cold or in shock over what had happened, he was angry.
“How fucking dare you, Kurt?”
“How dare I what?”
“How dare you tell me you’re in love with me. You knew I had a fiancé.”
“Correct me if I’m wrong here, Dave, but so did you. Why are you yelling at me, when you also participated?”
“I can’t believe I fell for your crying crap. What, you thought
you could turn on the waterworks and then ruin my life by sleeping with
me, so I wouldn’t marry Lance and then tell me, ‘oh well it was a
one-time thing’?”
“You seriously though I would pour my fucking soul out to you ,
cry in front of you, and admit that I’m in love with you and have been
since college, just so I could sleep with you in a one-night stand?
Fuck you, Dave. What I said tonight was genuine, it was real. When have
you ever fucking seen me cry besides the anniversary of the death of my
mom?”
“I can’t handle this right now, Kurt. This was the biggest
mistake I’ve ever made in my life. I love you as a friend, Kurt, but
I’m not in love with you, and I may have just put my entire future in
jeopardy because you were able to manipulate me yet again.”
Kurt felt like he had been punched.
“Okay, fine. Sleeping with me was the biggest mistake you’ve ever
made, including the time you told the police woman who pulled you over
that she was the ugliest woman you’d ever seen and then got arrested? I
didn’t set out to hurt you or destroy your life, and I’m sorry you feel
that way.”
“I can’t stay here anymore.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, I need to find a hotel. I can’t be around you right now and I need to time to think.”
“Do you want me to help you find a place?”
“No, Kurt. What part of ‘you leave me alone, I don’t want anything to do with you’, don’t you understand?”
“Fine. I’m going to go down to the diner. You can use my laptop to find a hotel. I’ll give you two hours.”
Kurt really was just broken by that point. He had fucked up
majorly, and he knew it. He had slept with his best friend who was
engaged to another man, and he had basically ensured his best friend
would never speak to him again.
Kurt left and went down to the diner where he ordered a root beer float and cried into it.
Two hours later he was back at his apartment and all traces of Dave were gone, except his cologne.
He needed to fix this. He couldn’t imagine a life without Dave in
it. Dave was like his rock, and not having someone to call and just be
yourself around whenever you need it was a depressing thought.