it's so weird to think that just 3 months ago i was in a loving relationship. he meant the world to me, and i think i was the same for him. (maybe not)

and now...

i'm nothing to him.

i'm starting to think about him a little less.

at least it's not like a constant thing in my thoughts anymore. i'm allowing myself to have fun and forget that a person i loved completely screwed me over.

maybe i'm on my way to being complete again.

so...moving on is not going so well. i keep having these random crying attacks. like driving home from work tonight, and the other night because my mom scared me. and like all the time. i fucking hate this "my best friend really doesn't like me" business. it makes me really unhappy. but i don't know how to make it any better for myself. i ( Read more... )

i miss being able to count on someone (a guy) to be there for me. i miss intimacy. i miss the love that i felt. i miss having the great friend that was always there. not that i need it, i just miss it. it feels like there is a big chunk of me that is missing.

shit goddamn i wish i knew how to dance. why'd my stupid parents have to let me do gymnastics. haha.

how is everyone?

do you ever look at the person that you are, and think that there are so many things that you want to do with your life, but you don't really know how to go about it? lately, i've just really wanted to be a really independent person. i'm just so ready to be an adult, and i haven't really made that move yet. but i don't know how to do that. and ( Read more... )

i feel pretty bipolar lately. sometimes i do really well and i'm good friends with drew, and everything is dandy. but then there's times like tonight where i contemplate stupid rash things, and i just don't understand it. and i don't really know what to do about it. i feel so lonely and sad, and i just really miss being with him and being able ( Read more... )

my life just took a turn for the worst, and i'm not sure how it's going to end up.

i only have one final left until i'm done with my first year of college, and i'm pretty darn excited about it. yay! um, i guess i don't really have much else to say. i hope everyone else is as excited for summer as i am. woo hoo.

life is tough ( Read more... )