In which Eustace is unnervingly insightful
This got a lot more serious than the commentfic which triggered it. But as much as I wanted to write about Eustace having amusing drug-addled conversations with a lizard skull filling in for his dragon self, a peyote experience just seemed to require exploring possible insights in a different way. It's not all "fear and loathing", you know.
Later in the evening, after Mary had retired to her own room and Asim was off procuring supplies, information, or both, Peter emerged from the loo to find Eustace holding one of the lizard skulls from the sample collection. Sitting down in the opposite chair, he noticed the same pensive expression on the younger man's face that he'd had while Mary declared her disappointment with the overnight peyote ceremony that morning.
"You've been rather quiet today."
Eustace angled the lizard skull (modern, it appeared, not a fossil) several different ways, studying it.
"I think I got rather more from the peyote ceremony than Mary did. I wasn't really expecting anything, which probably helped."
Peter kept silent, waiting to see if more would be volunteered. Perhaps he should pour a glass of tequila for each of them? Over the years, Eustace had swung from being somewhat awestruck around him (in the immediate aftermath of his first Narnia adventure) through varying levels of familiarity and distance. While it was not always evident, he'd become a great deal more serious after that last, wrenching trip to Narnia.
"It's still here, you know. Or there. Somewhere."
"Narnia?" And now Peter sat up at full attention, all thoughts of blue agave forgotten. Neither Eustace nor Jill had ever been able to fully describe what they saw as they were sent back at the end of that final adventure, but they'd been certain beyond all doubt that Narnia had come to an End. Aslan had bade them not to grieve, for all things have beginnings and endings, and their task this time had not been to prevent the ending. But even Lucy had been unable to help them reach a satisfactory understanding of what they'd been shown. However, if they had been wrong, if Narnia lived… he realized he was clutching the arms of his chair rather tightly.
"Yes, Narnia. The Dragon. The Wardrobe, the tree it came from..."
This was not the revelation Peter sought, and he leaned forward, intent on extracting clarity. Eustace looked up before he could speak, an odd intensity in his eye.
"I'm sorry, I'm still experiencing some sort of aftereffect. I don't mean that Narnia didn't end. But it's not *gone*. I saw it, all at once, from the outside. From the beginning that the Professor and Aunt Polly described to those last moments I saw with Jill, which weren't nearly so horrible when you're not in the middle of them."
"I think that's why Jill and I were there. To complete the connection. A Son of Adam and a Daughter of Eve to witness the beginning, and a Son of Adam and Daughter of Eve to witness the end."
"And it's all still happening. Like Aslan is Here. There. All places, all times.
Where was Edmund when you needed him? Russia, where they drink vodka rather than tequila, his brain answered, nudging him back toward the bottle. But this sounded like Edmund's sort of discussion. Or possibly Lucy's, as it perhaps was not build on normal logic.
"You got all this from the peyote?"
"It was already there. The peyote jarred my thoughts enough to let me realize it. It's an ending for Narnia, but a beginning for us. Graduation. There will be no more lessons of that sort, our path is here." Having made his point, Eustace settled back into his chair, his unfocused gaze looking well past Peter.
"And your lizard friend there?"
Eustace held the skull at eye level and smiled as he stared it in the face. "Heloderma suspectum cinctum. The 'Gila monster', one of only two venomous lizards on this continent. Fire breathers being in short supply, this fellow seemed to be the most dragon-like lizard skull available. We had a conversation in that tent, although no one but the Road Man noticed. He wanted to know if I thought I had made the right choice giving him up, since that choice is still happening now (along with everything else, you see)."
Peter didn't see, but remembered certain discussions involving Centaur liquor, and decided to go along with it. "What did you tell him?"
"That yes, I made the right choice, and that I'm still making it."
Eustace carefully set the skull on the dresser and stepped back, a mischievous smile on his face.
"Still, I do miss flying."
* The Road Man is the title given to the one who guides the peyote ceremony.
* I'm not sure if Gila monsters range as far north as where this splinter of the commentfic is set, but it's an AU so if necessary their range is larger in this universe.
* Peter is oddly passive here, but the part where I tried to address that got bogged down. Maybe I'll come back to it.
Having just jumped into this writing thing, I know that there are improvements to be made- helpful criticism is welcome!
Later in the evening, after Mary had retired to her own room and Asim was off procuring supplies, information, or both, Peter emerged from the loo to find Eustace holding one of the lizard skulls from the sample collection. Sitting down in the opposite chair, he noticed the same pensive expression on the younger man's face that he'd had while Mary declared her disappointment with the overnight peyote ceremony that morning.
"You've been rather quiet today."
Eustace angled the lizard skull (modern, it appeared, not a fossil) several different ways, studying it.
"I think I got rather more from the peyote ceremony than Mary did. I wasn't really expecting anything, which probably helped."
Peter kept silent, waiting to see if more would be volunteered. Perhaps he should pour a glass of tequila for each of them? Over the years, Eustace had swung from being somewhat awestruck around him (in the immediate aftermath of his first Narnia adventure) through varying levels of familiarity and distance. While it was not always evident, he'd become a great deal more serious after that last, wrenching trip to Narnia.
"It's still here, you know. Or there. Somewhere."
"Narnia?" And now Peter sat up at full attention, all thoughts of blue agave forgotten. Neither Eustace nor Jill had ever been able to fully describe what they saw as they were sent back at the end of that final adventure, but they'd been certain beyond all doubt that Narnia had come to an End. Aslan had bade them not to grieve, for all things have beginnings and endings, and their task this time had not been to prevent the ending. But even Lucy had been unable to help them reach a satisfactory understanding of what they'd been shown. However, if they had been wrong, if Narnia lived… he realized he was clutching the arms of his chair rather tightly.
"Yes, Narnia. The Dragon. The Wardrobe, the tree it came from..."
This was not the revelation Peter sought, and he leaned forward, intent on extracting clarity. Eustace looked up before he could speak, an odd intensity in his eye.
"I'm sorry, I'm still experiencing some sort of aftereffect. I don't mean that Narnia didn't end. But it's not *gone*. I saw it, all at once, from the outside. From the beginning that the Professor and Aunt Polly described to those last moments I saw with Jill, which weren't nearly so horrible when you're not in the middle of them."
"I think that's why Jill and I were there. To complete the connection. A Son of Adam and a Daughter of Eve to witness the beginning, and a Son of Adam and Daughter of Eve to witness the end."
"And it's all still happening. Like Aslan is Here. There. All places, all times.
Where was Edmund when you needed him? Russia, where they drink vodka rather than tequila, his brain answered, nudging him back toward the bottle. But this sounded like Edmund's sort of discussion. Or possibly Lucy's, as it perhaps was not build on normal logic.
"You got all this from the peyote?"
"It was already there. The peyote jarred my thoughts enough to let me realize it. It's an ending for Narnia, but a beginning for us. Graduation. There will be no more lessons of that sort, our path is here." Having made his point, Eustace settled back into his chair, his unfocused gaze looking well past Peter.
"And your lizard friend there?"
Eustace held the skull at eye level and smiled as he stared it in the face. "Heloderma suspectum cinctum. The 'Gila monster', one of only two venomous lizards on this continent. Fire breathers being in short supply, this fellow seemed to be the most dragon-like lizard skull available. We had a conversation in that tent, although no one but the Road Man noticed. He wanted to know if I thought I had made the right choice giving him up, since that choice is still happening now (along with everything else, you see)."
Peter didn't see, but remembered certain discussions involving Centaur liquor, and decided to go along with it. "What did you tell him?"
"That yes, I made the right choice, and that I'm still making it."
Eustace carefully set the skull on the dresser and stepped back, a mischievous smile on his face.
"Still, I do miss flying."
* The Road Man is the title given to the one who guides the peyote ceremony.
* I'm not sure if Gila monsters range as far north as where this splinter of the commentfic is set, but it's an AU so if necessary their range is larger in this universe.
* Peter is oddly passive here, but the part where I tried to address that got bogged down. Maybe I'll come back to it.
Having just jumped into this writing thing, I know that there are improvements to be made- helpful criticism is welcome!