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[hachishinobi]

Last night, I dreamed my brother Jeremy was taken from life. Somehow pushed thru a pane of glass, which severed and impaled him twice over. This entire dream was my grieving process, I was continuously breaking down into uncontrollable tears anytime I would think of something we would have done together. Anytime I remembered something he said.

Comments

[csecooney]

Oh, my darling! I knew there was a reason I thought about you today! In fact, I had bought you a present today and Katie just left to send it in the mail. All I can say is what I needed to remember myself, when dreams were haunting me (I went through a particularly nightmarish year when I was 16-17), and that was - don't blame living people for what dream people do. Whether they do GOOD or BAD (or dirty sexy yummy) things. Or die. I have terrible dreams when my brothers die - I know exactly what kind of crying you're doing. What you must remember is that, in some way, everyone in your dreams is you. What loss are you grieving in yourself? What, in yourself, are you ignoring -- what makes you furious? Some of that might help. But mostly, you are confronting the grief we'll all have to face again and again. You are preparing for it. Your dreams know what they are doing. I love you! I hope you like your goofy present.

[hachishinobi]

"Really, darling. Darling REALLY!" You shouldn't have, but you did, and I'll accept that.

The nightmarish part was I couldn't realize it was a dream, the surprise of it was so breathtaking and realistic that I didn't even have time to second guess it all. I don't really blame anyone, people didn't act as I expected them to in my dream, I felt completely lost in familiarity. And I'd kinda like to answer these...

What loss are you grieving in yourself? I would suppose in reality I grieve my own loss of happiness...
What, in yourself, are you ignoring? From what I gather, I feel like I've been ignoring taking true responsibility...
What makes you furious? Ignorance and repetition, disloyalty and uselessness...

I don't really know where the entire thing came from. I could feel my hot beads of tears rolling down my face, had it felt more real, I'd have counted every one to remember. I could feel the asphyxiation when I was too congested from crying. Oh well, I suppose as long as its just a dream.