[After about four days of attempting to dial Rob's stupid number, he gets voicemail, of course. He almost hangs up and just doesn't bother leaving a message because suddenly he doesn't want to do this anymore, but it needs to be done. It's needed to be done for, like, a week. So. Here goes.]
[He just kind of smiles at that, because it does make him smile.]
Thanks, Wally. [He would add 'it means a lot', but he doesn't know if that's crossing a boundary or not. And he doesn't know if he would actually be able to say it out loud. But hopefully Wally gets the idea.]
[Annnd he's belting off-key now. This was inevitable, Robin, I'm sorry. You can't stop him even if you tried.]
YOU'VE GOT A FRIEND IN ME IF YOU'VE GOT TROUBLES, I'VE GOT 'EM TOO THERE ISN'T ANYTHING I WOULDN'T DO FOR YOU WE STICK TOGETHER AND CAN SEE IT THROUGH 'CAUSE YOU'VE GOT A FRIEND IN ME YOU'VE GOT A FRIEND IN ME
SOME OTHER FOLKS MIGHT BE A LITTLE BIT SMARTER THAN I AM BIGGER AND STRONGER TOO MAYBE BUT NONE OF THEM WILL EVER LOVE YOU THE WAY I DO IT'S ME AND YOU, BOY AND AS THE YEARS GO BY OUR FRIENDSHIP WILL NEVER DIE YOU'RE GONNA SEE IT'S OUR DESTINY YOU'VE GOT A FRIEND IN ME YOU'VE GOT A FRIEND IN ME YOU'VE GOT A FRIEND IN ME
[He tries his best not to laugh, he really does. But Wally just keeps going and sings the whole song and it is simultaneously horrible and wonderful and he just can't handle it.]
[So he laughs. He does, he laughs really really hard. So much that he has to wipe his eyes when Wally finishes because he can't control himself, but once that's done he's smiling real big and everything feels back to normal. Singing Disney does wonders to friendships, children. Wonders.]
Dude, I can't believe you just did that. Like...man I wish I recorded that. [Still chuckling a bit.]
Hey.
We... need to talk.
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Thanks, Wally. [He would add 'it means a lot', but he doesn't know if that's crossing a boundary or not. And he doesn't know if he would actually be able to say it out loud. But hopefully Wally gets the idea.]
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I'm torn between making you do it to embarrass yourself, or stopping you so I won't have to worry about second-hand embarrassment.
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[Annnd he's belting off-key now. This was inevitable, Robin, I'm sorry. You can't stop him even if you tried.]
YOU'VE GOT A FRIEND IN ME
IF YOU'VE GOT TROUBLES, I'VE GOT 'EM TOO
THERE ISN'T ANYTHING I WOULDN'T DO FOR YOU
WE STICK TOGETHER AND CAN SEE IT THROUGH
'CAUSE YOU'VE GOT A FRIEND IN ME
YOU'VE GOT A FRIEND IN ME
SOME OTHER FOLKS MIGHT BE
A LITTLE BIT SMARTER THAN I AM
BIGGER AND STRONGER TOO
MAYBE
BUT NONE OF THEM WILL EVER LOVE YOU THE WAY I DO
IT'S ME AND YOU, BOY
AND AS THE YEARS GO BY
OUR FRIENDSHIP WILL NEVER DIE
YOU'RE GONNA SEE IT'S OUR DESTINY
YOU'VE GOT A FRIEND IN ME
YOU'VE GOT A FRIEND IN ME
YOU'VE GOT A FRIEND IN ME
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[So he laughs. He does, he laughs really really hard. So much that he has to wipe his eyes when Wally finishes because he can't control himself, but once that's done he's smiling real big and everything feels back to normal. Singing Disney does wonders to friendships, children. Wonders.]
Dude, I can't believe you just did that. Like...man I wish I recorded that. [Still chuckling a bit.]
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Dude, how could I not? Disney songs make everything better. Like chocolate.
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[Give him a moment to wipe his eyes again before he's better.]
Speaking of chocolate, this place lacks decent food. I am craving a burger like nobody's business right now.
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[Then he laughs, because he has no standards when it comes to food.] I'd say hit up the WacDonald's, but I forgot you have standards.
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After all those nice burger places I take you to? And you still eat that crap? [Disappointing head-shake.]
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[And then it dawns on him, and his eyes go wide and he makes a face and dude, dude.]
Oh my god Wally, do they use pokémon?
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No, man, we are not talking about this. I want to be able to enjoy my Johto burgers in peace without wondering if I'm actually eating a Tauros.
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Blegh, I suddenly feel like going vegetarian. Unless...you don't think they serve oddishes as salads, do you?
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... Dude, I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. Pretty sure that's our cue to stop talking about eating Pokémon.
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But...I just...I can't...
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