Fast Eddies
This is NOT fanfiction, but it is m/m.
If you liked my writing then have a read.
Title Fast Eddies
Rating Mature
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter Fifteen
'Well, that's done it,' Joe sighs, pushing his plate further onto the coffee table before sinking back into the couch, rubbing a hand over his stomach, 'If I eat another thing I think I'll explode.'
'Me too,' I agree, having already discarded my plate.
There was no need to eat that much. The long hours at work and me skipping dinner meant I had eaten a vast deal too quickly, although had managed to censor myself before I was left feeling sick, control Joe hadn't had. I groan as I sit back, putting an arm around Joe, pulling him to me a little.
'No, don't move me,' he moans good naturedly, 'I'll puke all over you. I'm not joking.' I laugh to myself, teasing him by pushing his resistant body a little. 'Don't, I'll swear to God I will throw up,' he complains again, this time actually raising his hand to shove me, although losing the desire before completion, hand just falling back to his lap.
'Maybe that's what I'm looking for, an anecdote between your friends I can actually be involved in,' I smirk, gently pressing my fingers to his sides, although refraining from adding definite pressure.
'Yeah well, I think you're just into some kinky fetish and want me blowing chunks all over you,' he says without conviction, snuggling closer to my body, turning his head to my chest a fraction.
I smile, kissing his forehead, drawing him still closer to me. It's been a great night so far, in this moment I'm content, completely, utterly content. I love how easy everything feels right now, how comfortable, like we have seen more of each other then we actually have, and been together longer than we have. I tighten my arms as my feelings swell. I'm glad the barrier to his home I've heard so much about hasn't applied to me, discarded before it was even put up. I'd have thought it would have been harder to get through his defences after Milo, so it either indicates he likes me more than he's letting on, or he's given up trying to protect himself as much because it hadn't prevented him getting close to that asshole. I can only hope it is the former, although I guess it is more likely the latter.
A loud ringtone of a metal song I don't recognise cuts into the silence as I try and think of a decent come back to his half hearted accusation. He groans as he lifts his hips, pulling the cellphone from his pocket.
'Goddamn Frank,' he mutters as he flips it open, raising it to his ear as he rests his body back on me, 'what the fuck do you want? I told you I was spending the night with Ben.' I hear a muffled reply from Frank, Joe's phone on the opposite side of his head so I can't distinguish words. 'I thought Kev was in Mexico,' Joe replies when Frank's voice dies off before absently teasing a lipring with his teeth, something I've noticed he does whenever he's thinking. 'Broken his arm? God, yeah, yeah, fine!' He sighs. 'We'll be down in around half an hour, see you there.' He snaps the cell shut before turning to me. 'So I guess we're going out. An old highschool friend of ours is back in town. It'd be rude not to meet up with him.'
I can't say no, don't have the authority to tell him I'd rather stay in and have him all to myself for the night, we haven't been dating long enough. That would make us a real couple, and I don't think Joe is ready for that, especially after everything he left unsaid earlier.
'Sure. You want to head off now?' I ask, trying to seem as helpful and eager as possible.
'No, I want to sit here with you a bit longer and wait until I don't feel like I'm going to fucking die,' he says, throwing his phone onto the table without care, turning his body even more into mine, side of his face against my chest. 'I don't really want to go,' he admits, 'but I'd feel bad when they told Kevin I was going to turn up and he's been asking where I was. Stupid assholes don't remember what I tell them.'
'Well, they mean well don't they,' I offer, knowing his friends have only ever done what they think is best for him. I've seen it first hand in Frank chasing me into this relationship.
'Yeah, too bad they're just stupid as well,' he sighs, slipping an arm heavily over my waist, pulling me to him like a child a stuffed animal, nestling close. I run a hand through his hair, unable to stop the goofy smile on my lips, the swell of warm emotion in my chest. He's beautiful, and I'm so fucking glad he's in my arms. 'I could just sleep right now, you're really fucking comfortable.'
'Oh thanks,' I laugh, not trying to pull away from him, not when he feels so safe right now. This is what I want for him, especially after Milo's fucked with him so much over the past few weeks.
'It's a compliment, for sure,' he smiles, and I wait for elaboration, a boost to my ego I just don't get. I don't know why I expected one, he's been pretty sparse with good words about me, at least ones I have been present for. I understand why he isn't filled to the brim with gushing sentiment like me, but I don't get why he's still playing his cards so close to his chest, the only other reason why he wouldn't have said anything else is if there wasn't anything there for him to comment on.
His breathing starts to even out and I realise that he's in the process of falling asleep, if he hasn't already slipped into the state. As much as I would love to savour this moment and let him sleep on my chest, I know that a few hours down the line when he wakes up he'll be pissed. Nudging him gently he sits up straight immediately, eyes too wide a moment before they settle to take on a more composed, sleepy expression.
'Did I fall asleep?' He asks, rubbing a hand over his eyes, shaking his head.
'Yeah, but only for a second. I didn't want you to miss your friend.' I elaborate, watching his face with interest, loving how cute and innocent he looks when he isn't presenting an image.
'Would have been a good excuse to be honest, but now you've woken me up I'd better make the effort.' He slips off the couch, raising his arms above his head as he yawns and stretches.
I stand up behind him, slipping my arms around his waist, drawing him to me before he lowers his arms. When he does he grips my hands, hugging them to him, and him to me in the process. It feels so right, we feel so close, almost as if we're a real couple, as if he wants us to be more than simply dating. He pulls out of the embrace, moving over to pick up a pair of skate shoes from the corner, slipping his feet into them. I mirror his actions, although mine are closer to the couch where I'd kicked them off in the heat of passion. As I pull them on I find myself yawning, a reaction to his and also a tell of my own tiredness. There's no denying I've worked harder than I usually do today, and it has taken a lot out of me. I'd be happy to crawl into bed right now if it were an option. Joe moves to stand in front of me, holding his hands out for me to take, which I do, letting him pull me to my feet.
'Don't worry, we wont go for long. I know you worked your ass off today.'
'No, it's fine,' I lie, shaking my head, 'it's your night.'
He smiles before kissing me softly, a lingering, gentle pressure which has me melting into him.
'You're too nice Ben, you really are.'
It's the closest thing to a compliment I'm going to hear tonight and I'm going to grab it with both hands. His opinion of me means so much, and for him to think I'm a nice guy warms me, although being a 'nice guy' doesn't automatically get me an all access pass into his life or a guarantee I'll be part of it for long.
'So what time is the bar open 'til?' I ask, checking my watch, finding it is already twenty to eleven. 'Don't most usually close around eleven?'
'They do, but this has a late licence, it's open until two at the weekend, and it's not too strict around here, so we've been there until four before,' he laughs to himself, 'man that was some night, we had to carry Frank out, and despite him being short, when you're drunk yourself he's a heavy bastard.' He shoves his wallet and cell into his pants pocket before plucking a worn, dark leather jacket from the back of the door. 'But as I said we wont be there for long, and the sooner we go the sooner we'll get back. So shall we?'
I nod, leaving my bag but pulling on my jacket, knowing that it's a pretty cold night from my way over. Hopefully he wont lose track of time when he's with his friends. As much as I want them to like me, I don't really have the strength to keep up with their lively conversations.
*
The bar is rammed when we enter it, filled with laughter and raucous, drunken noise. Joe doesn't seem to be intimidated though, taking my hand and guiding me through the throng with ease until we're standing at the table which houses his friends. They all turn with wide smiles, and my eyes fall instantly on the guy I've not met before as he stands, sweeping Joe into a tight hug.
'Dude, fuck it's been too long. How are you?'
I don't like him on sight, around the same height as Joe, with a lean body, the shape of which is obvious through his tight grey shirt; he has short, dark blonde hair and a great smile.
'I'm good thanks, you? Apart from the arm that is,' Joe smiles as he pulls away, indicating the arm in cast.
'Yeah, not bad, I mean, I'm gonna miss the end of this tour, but there's nothing I can do about that. I thought I'd got off light with only one break this year, then I go and get another as soon as the collarbone was healed,' he leans his ass back on the table, and with space now between him and Joe I can see that his face is heavily lined around the mouth, something that, in my eyes, make him look older than he is. 'Craig broke his ankle as well, so they've let me come home to heal.'
'Well, thank God it wasn't anything more serious,' Joe says with feeling, reaching forward and touching the guy's forearm.
Jealousy ignites in me instantly, and I touch Joe's shoulder, reminding him that I'm still behind him. Joe turns to me, smiling as he slips an arm around my waist, bringing me forward.
'Kev this is Ben, Ben... Kevin.'
Although I don't want to I offer my hand out of politeness. Thankfully he has broken his left arm so there are no awkwardnesses in the handshake, his grip firm.
'Nice to meet you Ben, the guys here have been saying all kinds of great things about you,' he smiles, lines deepening on his tanned skin, brown eyes warm. I'm happy to notice his nose is quite flat, looking like it's been broken some time in the past, something I, again, find unattractive on his face, although I'm sure there are plenty who find him good looking.
'Well, Ben's a great guy,' Frank pipes up as he gets up from next to Tony, moving over to hug Joe then me. 'Sorry to cut your guy's evening short.'
'Don't worry about it, but we can't stay too long,' Joe informs, something I'm glad of, showing everyone this evening is still committed to me, not Kevin, 'Ben worked a twelve hour shift today, it wouldn't be fair.'
'Where do you work?' Kevin asks, Frank placing a hand on his shoulder, interrupting the conversation.
'I'm going to get these drinks in, beers all round?'
'Yeah,' I reply to him, before answering Kevin, who looks at me with keen, fixed eyes. 'I work at a wine merchants.'
'But he's at college,' Joe adds and I'm glad there's no indication of the animosity he used to hold towards the institution, 'so it's not like he has to make a career out of it.'
'What you studying?' Kevin asks, eyes still fixed on me, not once moving to Joe even when he was speaking.
'Marketing, I'm in my final year.'
Kevin nods, folding his arms over his toned, broad chest.
'So what are you planning to do when you've graduated?'
'Well, I've got to see what grade I get first, but I was thinking of working more hours with the job I've got to save up some cash before I make a decision,' I reply, something I've been thinking on. There's no point in making any rash decisions, and this way I'll be able to definitely spend more time in the city with Joe.
'So, what you're telling me is that you've no idea what you want to do with your life.' Kevin comments, cutting me down instantly with the observation. Here we go, the same line of conversation as when Zack first met me. Although this time I sense more in in, not in what he says, but the way he does it makes it obvious to me that he doesn't like me. I know it's a touchy subject for me anyway, but I don't think it's this which is making his negativity stand out. I guess I can't hold it against him though, it was an opinion even Joe had of me.
'Beers guys,' Frank interrupts, returning with a full tray which Tony stands up to take from him.
'Lets grab a seat,' Joe whispers in my ear, pushing me towards the other end of the table. When we are distanced a little he continues to speak, 'don't let what Kev said get to you, he just doesn't know you yet.' This is offered with a kiss to my cheek for reassurance.
It works, glad to know Joe has got over his hang up's about my education. I only wish my friends could be so quick to change their opinions about him. There is no way Mike would be so easily swayed, even though he's already said himself he admires the hard working guy I'm dating. If he knew who it was it'd be a whole different matter.
Once seated I'm handed a beer by Tony who smiles.
'Glad to see you could make it, thought you and Joe might be too busy,' he winks, taking up his own beer.
'Well, Joe said he'd not seen Kevin for a while, thought it would be rude not to come down.'
'Yeah, it has been some time,' Tony nods in agreement, 'Kev's been on tour for five months, he's never around for long before he's off again on his bike. It's okay for some though, he makes a pretty decent living from it.'
'There money in it then?' I ask, having never really been exposed to the sport in more than seeing it late night on TV when flipping channels.
'There can be, depends who sponsors you and how good you are,' Frank cuts in as Joe and Kevin start a conversation at my side, 'Kevin doesn't have it too bad, but he's not the one that..'
'So how's your schoolin' going?' Tony asks, shooting Frank a dark look, one I don't miss. I want to know why there was this reaction, what they are attempting to hide from me, but there's no way I can do it right now, not at the table.
'Could be better, I messed up a paper,' I lean back, sipping from the beer, 'but I should be able to make the grade up if I work my ass off on the others.'
'Well, I hope you do man, how much longer do you have left?'
'My last paper is due in in May, so around three months.'
'Fuck dude, that's not too long is it?' Tony comments, tilting his head to the side, 'you looking forward to finishing?'
'Not really, after graduation all of my friends have got plans, most of them will be moving away and leaving me here.' I admit, something that is so painful to me. I don't want to lose my friends, the only real friends I've had, not when I've grown so close to them after these three years.
'How far away?' Joe asks, suddenly brought back from his conversation with Kevin.
'Well, Mike will move back to LA where his fathers law firm is based, James will either move to Florida to be close to his father, although I doubt it, or LA for his mother, although I think his mother was talking about booking him a tour of Europe as a graduation present, and Johnny has an internship in Singapore, which starts in June.'
'So they're all moving away from you, you're losing all of them?' Joe asks, eyes gentle with sentiment.
'Yeah,' I reply, forcing myself not to get teary, this not the time or the place, 'but there's nothing I can do about it. It's just business, the way things are.'
Joe looks around the table, at each of his friends before bringing his eyes back to me, all of them making me feel awkward with their gazes. I don't want their pity, and that's all I feel in the air right now.
'Kevin, good God it's fucking great to see you!'
It's Joe's uncle Carlo, followed by Brandan, both of them beaming huge smiles. I'm glad of their intrusions as it takes the focus from me when they pull the man out of his seat, hugging him. It takes the focus off me, and I'm too tired to try and hide how much my friends leaving will hurt me. Attempting to get my mind off the impending event I watch the interaction between Kevin and Joe's uncle. They're so happy with him, Carlo looking more amiable than I've ever seen him, usually an unsure, sceptical look in his eyes whenever they're set on me. I have no doubt he would be happier if Joe was with Kevin, they're more suited, they look like a couple that would work in their eyes.
'Ben, good to see you,' Brandan offers, smiling as he notices I'm at the table, 'how are you?'
'I'm good thanks, you?' I smile back, glad at least one of the parental figures Joe holds so dear doesn't hate me outright.
'Great, nothing better than knowing you've got a day off the next day,' he grins at me with the gleam in his eyes I've come to associate with him being crude, 'and a warm bed and hot body to spend it in.'
I smile back, although I'm still filled with sadness at the thought of losing almost everyone I care about. I so desperately want Brandan and Carlo to like me, know their opinion, along with that of Joe's friends can make or break me being in his life. A loud peal of laughter has me looking sideways, Carlo with one arm around Kevin's shoulders, one around Joe's, both of them looking at the man, all three laughing. I can tell this is what he wants and I'm not part of the picture.
'Come to the bar with me Ben, I'm going to need another pair of hands,' Brandan says close to my ear, taking me by the upper arm, pulling me gently out of my seat. I can't say no to this insistence and I soon find myself pulled through the crowd, eyes still stuck on the happy picture which doesn't include me. 'So how are you really doing?' Brandan asks when we stop, and I find we're not at the bar, but a quiet spot near the entrance, Brandan dipping into his pocket and pulling out his packet of cigarettes, lighting one, a hand cupped around the flame as he looks up at me through his eyebrows.
'Me, fine, why?' I ask, instantly nervous of what this means for me. Is Brandan trying to get me away from them, warn me off Joe so he's free for the man they want for him?
'I just wondered how you were coping with Joe, I know the situation can't have been easy for you,' he says simply, breathing out smoke and replacing all of the paraphernalia in the relevant pockets.
'How do you mean?'
Brandan leans back on the wall, folds thick, tattooed arms over his chest, a stern look on his lined, tanned face.
'I mean I know you didn't see him for a while,' Brandan looks over through the crowd, not settling his eyes on me, as he continues to smoke, 'I told him to call you, but he's always been fucking stubborn. I know you were calling him and he was blowing you off.'
'Yeah, it was because of Milo.' I tell him, hoping he's not going to tell me it was something else as well.
Brandan nods, still looking out over everyone else.
'He's a prick,' Brandan dismisses, 'but I think now he knows Joe's more serious with you he might get the fucking hint and fuck off badgering him,' only now does Brandan turn to me, and his brown eyes are darkly serious, 'I'm glad you're not letting this Milo situation get between you and Joe. You're good for him, I wouldn't have been yelling at him to call you if I didn't think you were.'
'It's a shame Joe doesn't feel the same way,' I find myself saying, everything about the night bringing me down, filling me with sadness.
'Bullshit he doesn't, what the fuck has he been saying?' Brandan asks, eyes narrowing, instantly intimidating me.
'It's what he's not,' I sigh, 'but forget I said anything.'
I start to walk away but Brandan holds onto my shoulders, stopping me dead and turning me to face him with strong hands.
'You're a good kid Ben, a fucking great kid. Don't give up on him, not yet.'
'Thanks, it means a lot to hear it from you.' I all but blush, these words just what I needed, although not from the mouth I need to hear it from.
'Don't mention it,' he smiles again, a hand on my shoulder as he pushes me off the wall, cigarette loose between his lips, 'now what are you drinking?'
We walk back through the people and I'm glad for one thing as I see the three of them still standing together, although now without the encompassing embrace. I'm glad at least one of the adults in his life can see it how it is, I just wish it was the one who was a blood relation, his hopes seem to rest on the guy with a fucking flat nose. If he doesn't change his mind, I'm screwed.
If you liked my writing then have a read.
Title Fast Eddies
Rating Mature
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter Fifteen
'Well, that's done it,' Joe sighs, pushing his plate further onto the coffee table before sinking back into the couch, rubbing a hand over his stomach, 'If I eat another thing I think I'll explode.'
'Me too,' I agree, having already discarded my plate.
There was no need to eat that much. The long hours at work and me skipping dinner meant I had eaten a vast deal too quickly, although had managed to censor myself before I was left feeling sick, control Joe hadn't had. I groan as I sit back, putting an arm around Joe, pulling him to me a little.
'No, don't move me,' he moans good naturedly, 'I'll puke all over you. I'm not joking.' I laugh to myself, teasing him by pushing his resistant body a little. 'Don't, I'll swear to God I will throw up,' he complains again, this time actually raising his hand to shove me, although losing the desire before completion, hand just falling back to his lap.
'Maybe that's what I'm looking for, an anecdote between your friends I can actually be involved in,' I smirk, gently pressing my fingers to his sides, although refraining from adding definite pressure.
'Yeah well, I think you're just into some kinky fetish and want me blowing chunks all over you,' he says without conviction, snuggling closer to my body, turning his head to my chest a fraction.
I smile, kissing his forehead, drawing him still closer to me. It's been a great night so far, in this moment I'm content, completely, utterly content. I love how easy everything feels right now, how comfortable, like we have seen more of each other then we actually have, and been together longer than we have. I tighten my arms as my feelings swell. I'm glad the barrier to his home I've heard so much about hasn't applied to me, discarded before it was even put up. I'd have thought it would have been harder to get through his defences after Milo, so it either indicates he likes me more than he's letting on, or he's given up trying to protect himself as much because it hadn't prevented him getting close to that asshole. I can only hope it is the former, although I guess it is more likely the latter.
A loud ringtone of a metal song I don't recognise cuts into the silence as I try and think of a decent come back to his half hearted accusation. He groans as he lifts his hips, pulling the cellphone from his pocket.
'Goddamn Frank,' he mutters as he flips it open, raising it to his ear as he rests his body back on me, 'what the fuck do you want? I told you I was spending the night with Ben.' I hear a muffled reply from Frank, Joe's phone on the opposite side of his head so I can't distinguish words. 'I thought Kev was in Mexico,' Joe replies when Frank's voice dies off before absently teasing a lipring with his teeth, something I've noticed he does whenever he's thinking. 'Broken his arm? God, yeah, yeah, fine!' He sighs. 'We'll be down in around half an hour, see you there.' He snaps the cell shut before turning to me. 'So I guess we're going out. An old highschool friend of ours is back in town. It'd be rude not to meet up with him.'
I can't say no, don't have the authority to tell him I'd rather stay in and have him all to myself for the night, we haven't been dating long enough. That would make us a real couple, and I don't think Joe is ready for that, especially after everything he left unsaid earlier.
'Sure. You want to head off now?' I ask, trying to seem as helpful and eager as possible.
'No, I want to sit here with you a bit longer and wait until I don't feel like I'm going to fucking die,' he says, throwing his phone onto the table without care, turning his body even more into mine, side of his face against my chest. 'I don't really want to go,' he admits, 'but I'd feel bad when they told Kevin I was going to turn up and he's been asking where I was. Stupid assholes don't remember what I tell them.'
'Well, they mean well don't they,' I offer, knowing his friends have only ever done what they think is best for him. I've seen it first hand in Frank chasing me into this relationship.
'Yeah, too bad they're just stupid as well,' he sighs, slipping an arm heavily over my waist, pulling me to him like a child a stuffed animal, nestling close. I run a hand through his hair, unable to stop the goofy smile on my lips, the swell of warm emotion in my chest. He's beautiful, and I'm so fucking glad he's in my arms. 'I could just sleep right now, you're really fucking comfortable.'
'Oh thanks,' I laugh, not trying to pull away from him, not when he feels so safe right now. This is what I want for him, especially after Milo's fucked with him so much over the past few weeks.
'It's a compliment, for sure,' he smiles, and I wait for elaboration, a boost to my ego I just don't get. I don't know why I expected one, he's been pretty sparse with good words about me, at least ones I have been present for. I understand why he isn't filled to the brim with gushing sentiment like me, but I don't get why he's still playing his cards so close to his chest, the only other reason why he wouldn't have said anything else is if there wasn't anything there for him to comment on.
His breathing starts to even out and I realise that he's in the process of falling asleep, if he hasn't already slipped into the state. As much as I would love to savour this moment and let him sleep on my chest, I know that a few hours down the line when he wakes up he'll be pissed. Nudging him gently he sits up straight immediately, eyes too wide a moment before they settle to take on a more composed, sleepy expression.
'Did I fall asleep?' He asks, rubbing a hand over his eyes, shaking his head.
'Yeah, but only for a second. I didn't want you to miss your friend.' I elaborate, watching his face with interest, loving how cute and innocent he looks when he isn't presenting an image.
'Would have been a good excuse to be honest, but now you've woken me up I'd better make the effort.' He slips off the couch, raising his arms above his head as he yawns and stretches.
I stand up behind him, slipping my arms around his waist, drawing him to me before he lowers his arms. When he does he grips my hands, hugging them to him, and him to me in the process. It feels so right, we feel so close, almost as if we're a real couple, as if he wants us to be more than simply dating. He pulls out of the embrace, moving over to pick up a pair of skate shoes from the corner, slipping his feet into them. I mirror his actions, although mine are closer to the couch where I'd kicked them off in the heat of passion. As I pull them on I find myself yawning, a reaction to his and also a tell of my own tiredness. There's no denying I've worked harder than I usually do today, and it has taken a lot out of me. I'd be happy to crawl into bed right now if it were an option. Joe moves to stand in front of me, holding his hands out for me to take, which I do, letting him pull me to my feet.
'Don't worry, we wont go for long. I know you worked your ass off today.'
'No, it's fine,' I lie, shaking my head, 'it's your night.'
He smiles before kissing me softly, a lingering, gentle pressure which has me melting into him.
'You're too nice Ben, you really are.'
It's the closest thing to a compliment I'm going to hear tonight and I'm going to grab it with both hands. His opinion of me means so much, and for him to think I'm a nice guy warms me, although being a 'nice guy' doesn't automatically get me an all access pass into his life or a guarantee I'll be part of it for long.
'So what time is the bar open 'til?' I ask, checking my watch, finding it is already twenty to eleven. 'Don't most usually close around eleven?'
'They do, but this has a late licence, it's open until two at the weekend, and it's not too strict around here, so we've been there until four before,' he laughs to himself, 'man that was some night, we had to carry Frank out, and despite him being short, when you're drunk yourself he's a heavy bastard.' He shoves his wallet and cell into his pants pocket before plucking a worn, dark leather jacket from the back of the door. 'But as I said we wont be there for long, and the sooner we go the sooner we'll get back. So shall we?'
I nod, leaving my bag but pulling on my jacket, knowing that it's a pretty cold night from my way over. Hopefully he wont lose track of time when he's with his friends. As much as I want them to like me, I don't really have the strength to keep up with their lively conversations.
*
The bar is rammed when we enter it, filled with laughter and raucous, drunken noise. Joe doesn't seem to be intimidated though, taking my hand and guiding me through the throng with ease until we're standing at the table which houses his friends. They all turn with wide smiles, and my eyes fall instantly on the guy I've not met before as he stands, sweeping Joe into a tight hug.
'Dude, fuck it's been too long. How are you?'
I don't like him on sight, around the same height as Joe, with a lean body, the shape of which is obvious through his tight grey shirt; he has short, dark blonde hair and a great smile.
'I'm good thanks, you? Apart from the arm that is,' Joe smiles as he pulls away, indicating the arm in cast.
'Yeah, not bad, I mean, I'm gonna miss the end of this tour, but there's nothing I can do about that. I thought I'd got off light with only one break this year, then I go and get another as soon as the collarbone was healed,' he leans his ass back on the table, and with space now between him and Joe I can see that his face is heavily lined around the mouth, something that, in my eyes, make him look older than he is. 'Craig broke his ankle as well, so they've let me come home to heal.'
'Well, thank God it wasn't anything more serious,' Joe says with feeling, reaching forward and touching the guy's forearm.
Jealousy ignites in me instantly, and I touch Joe's shoulder, reminding him that I'm still behind him. Joe turns to me, smiling as he slips an arm around my waist, bringing me forward.
'Kev this is Ben, Ben... Kevin.'
Although I don't want to I offer my hand out of politeness. Thankfully he has broken his left arm so there are no awkwardnesses in the handshake, his grip firm.
'Nice to meet you Ben, the guys here have been saying all kinds of great things about you,' he smiles, lines deepening on his tanned skin, brown eyes warm. I'm happy to notice his nose is quite flat, looking like it's been broken some time in the past, something I, again, find unattractive on his face, although I'm sure there are plenty who find him good looking.
'Well, Ben's a great guy,' Frank pipes up as he gets up from next to Tony, moving over to hug Joe then me. 'Sorry to cut your guy's evening short.'
'Don't worry about it, but we can't stay too long,' Joe informs, something I'm glad of, showing everyone this evening is still committed to me, not Kevin, 'Ben worked a twelve hour shift today, it wouldn't be fair.'
'Where do you work?' Kevin asks, Frank placing a hand on his shoulder, interrupting the conversation.
'I'm going to get these drinks in, beers all round?'
'Yeah,' I reply to him, before answering Kevin, who looks at me with keen, fixed eyes. 'I work at a wine merchants.'
'But he's at college,' Joe adds and I'm glad there's no indication of the animosity he used to hold towards the institution, 'so it's not like he has to make a career out of it.'
'What you studying?' Kevin asks, eyes still fixed on me, not once moving to Joe even when he was speaking.
'Marketing, I'm in my final year.'
Kevin nods, folding his arms over his toned, broad chest.
'So what are you planning to do when you've graduated?'
'Well, I've got to see what grade I get first, but I was thinking of working more hours with the job I've got to save up some cash before I make a decision,' I reply, something I've been thinking on. There's no point in making any rash decisions, and this way I'll be able to definitely spend more time in the city with Joe.
'So, what you're telling me is that you've no idea what you want to do with your life.' Kevin comments, cutting me down instantly with the observation. Here we go, the same line of conversation as when Zack first met me. Although this time I sense more in in, not in what he says, but the way he does it makes it obvious to me that he doesn't like me. I know it's a touchy subject for me anyway, but I don't think it's this which is making his negativity stand out. I guess I can't hold it against him though, it was an opinion even Joe had of me.
'Beers guys,' Frank interrupts, returning with a full tray which Tony stands up to take from him.
'Lets grab a seat,' Joe whispers in my ear, pushing me towards the other end of the table. When we are distanced a little he continues to speak, 'don't let what Kev said get to you, he just doesn't know you yet.' This is offered with a kiss to my cheek for reassurance.
It works, glad to know Joe has got over his hang up's about my education. I only wish my friends could be so quick to change their opinions about him. There is no way Mike would be so easily swayed, even though he's already said himself he admires the hard working guy I'm dating. If he knew who it was it'd be a whole different matter.
Once seated I'm handed a beer by Tony who smiles.
'Glad to see you could make it, thought you and Joe might be too busy,' he winks, taking up his own beer.
'Well, Joe said he'd not seen Kevin for a while, thought it would be rude not to come down.'
'Yeah, it has been some time,' Tony nods in agreement, 'Kev's been on tour for five months, he's never around for long before he's off again on his bike. It's okay for some though, he makes a pretty decent living from it.'
'There money in it then?' I ask, having never really been exposed to the sport in more than seeing it late night on TV when flipping channels.
'There can be, depends who sponsors you and how good you are,' Frank cuts in as Joe and Kevin start a conversation at my side, 'Kevin doesn't have it too bad, but he's not the one that..'
'So how's your schoolin' going?' Tony asks, shooting Frank a dark look, one I don't miss. I want to know why there was this reaction, what they are attempting to hide from me, but there's no way I can do it right now, not at the table.
'Could be better, I messed up a paper,' I lean back, sipping from the beer, 'but I should be able to make the grade up if I work my ass off on the others.'
'Well, I hope you do man, how much longer do you have left?'
'My last paper is due in in May, so around three months.'
'Fuck dude, that's not too long is it?' Tony comments, tilting his head to the side, 'you looking forward to finishing?'
'Not really, after graduation all of my friends have got plans, most of them will be moving away and leaving me here.' I admit, something that is so painful to me. I don't want to lose my friends, the only real friends I've had, not when I've grown so close to them after these three years.
'How far away?' Joe asks, suddenly brought back from his conversation with Kevin.
'Well, Mike will move back to LA where his fathers law firm is based, James will either move to Florida to be close to his father, although I doubt it, or LA for his mother, although I think his mother was talking about booking him a tour of Europe as a graduation present, and Johnny has an internship in Singapore, which starts in June.'
'So they're all moving away from you, you're losing all of them?' Joe asks, eyes gentle with sentiment.
'Yeah,' I reply, forcing myself not to get teary, this not the time or the place, 'but there's nothing I can do about it. It's just business, the way things are.'
Joe looks around the table, at each of his friends before bringing his eyes back to me, all of them making me feel awkward with their gazes. I don't want their pity, and that's all I feel in the air right now.
'Kevin, good God it's fucking great to see you!'
It's Joe's uncle Carlo, followed by Brandan, both of them beaming huge smiles. I'm glad of their intrusions as it takes the focus from me when they pull the man out of his seat, hugging him. It takes the focus off me, and I'm too tired to try and hide how much my friends leaving will hurt me. Attempting to get my mind off the impending event I watch the interaction between Kevin and Joe's uncle. They're so happy with him, Carlo looking more amiable than I've ever seen him, usually an unsure, sceptical look in his eyes whenever they're set on me. I have no doubt he would be happier if Joe was with Kevin, they're more suited, they look like a couple that would work in their eyes.
'Ben, good to see you,' Brandan offers, smiling as he notices I'm at the table, 'how are you?'
'I'm good thanks, you?' I smile back, glad at least one of the parental figures Joe holds so dear doesn't hate me outright.
'Great, nothing better than knowing you've got a day off the next day,' he grins at me with the gleam in his eyes I've come to associate with him being crude, 'and a warm bed and hot body to spend it in.'
I smile back, although I'm still filled with sadness at the thought of losing almost everyone I care about. I so desperately want Brandan and Carlo to like me, know their opinion, along with that of Joe's friends can make or break me being in his life. A loud peal of laughter has me looking sideways, Carlo with one arm around Kevin's shoulders, one around Joe's, both of them looking at the man, all three laughing. I can tell this is what he wants and I'm not part of the picture.
'Come to the bar with me Ben, I'm going to need another pair of hands,' Brandan says close to my ear, taking me by the upper arm, pulling me gently out of my seat. I can't say no to this insistence and I soon find myself pulled through the crowd, eyes still stuck on the happy picture which doesn't include me. 'So how are you really doing?' Brandan asks when we stop, and I find we're not at the bar, but a quiet spot near the entrance, Brandan dipping into his pocket and pulling out his packet of cigarettes, lighting one, a hand cupped around the flame as he looks up at me through his eyebrows.
'Me, fine, why?' I ask, instantly nervous of what this means for me. Is Brandan trying to get me away from them, warn me off Joe so he's free for the man they want for him?
'I just wondered how you were coping with Joe, I know the situation can't have been easy for you,' he says simply, breathing out smoke and replacing all of the paraphernalia in the relevant pockets.
'How do you mean?'
Brandan leans back on the wall, folds thick, tattooed arms over his chest, a stern look on his lined, tanned face.
'I mean I know you didn't see him for a while,' Brandan looks over through the crowd, not settling his eyes on me, as he continues to smoke, 'I told him to call you, but he's always been fucking stubborn. I know you were calling him and he was blowing you off.'
'Yeah, it was because of Milo.' I tell him, hoping he's not going to tell me it was something else as well.
Brandan nods, still looking out over everyone else.
'He's a prick,' Brandan dismisses, 'but I think now he knows Joe's more serious with you he might get the fucking hint and fuck off badgering him,' only now does Brandan turn to me, and his brown eyes are darkly serious, 'I'm glad you're not letting this Milo situation get between you and Joe. You're good for him, I wouldn't have been yelling at him to call you if I didn't think you were.'
'It's a shame Joe doesn't feel the same way,' I find myself saying, everything about the night bringing me down, filling me with sadness.
'Bullshit he doesn't, what the fuck has he been saying?' Brandan asks, eyes narrowing, instantly intimidating me.
'It's what he's not,' I sigh, 'but forget I said anything.'
I start to walk away but Brandan holds onto my shoulders, stopping me dead and turning me to face him with strong hands.
'You're a good kid Ben, a fucking great kid. Don't give up on him, not yet.'
'Thanks, it means a lot to hear it from you.' I all but blush, these words just what I needed, although not from the mouth I need to hear it from.
'Don't mention it,' he smiles again, a hand on my shoulder as he pushes me off the wall, cigarette loose between his lips, 'now what are you drinking?'
We walk back through the people and I'm glad for one thing as I see the three of them still standing together, although now without the encompassing embrace. I'm glad at least one of the adults in his life can see it how it is, I just wish it was the one who was a blood relation, his hopes seem to rest on the guy with a fucking flat nose. If he doesn't change his mind, I'm screwed.