The first one is almost an oxymoron; if they found her bleeding OF COURSE THEY'D NOTICE. XD <33333 The REALLY toned down version is a mind fuck, let's go with that one. It's just as toned down as "your friends and family are just a liability"
Also, is this okay for the second verse? Since it needs to have 32 bars i thought instead of adding more words to just add the second 4 bars from the first verse.
"So who's that girl who's always with you? She says that she's your sister but i'm not so sure How close exactly is your family? Do you think they'd notice one less photo hanging in the hall... Doesn't that make you feel safe? Knowing I am the only one around Don't worry babe, i'll make sure that there's nobody else, nobody else..."
Comments 3
Also... I been thinking about that line and I got two alternatives for you
"Do you think they'd notice if they found her bleeding on the floor" << Slightly toned down version
Or the really toned down version
"Do you think they'd notice one less photo hanging in the hall?"
What you reckon??
xxxx
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Also, is this okay for the second verse? Since it needs to have 32 bars i thought instead of adding more words to just add the second 4 bars from the first verse.
"So who's that girl who's always with you?
She says that she's your sister but i'm not so sure
How close exactly is your family?
Do you think they'd notice one less photo hanging in the hall...
Doesn't that make you feel safe?
Knowing I am the only one around
Don't worry babe, i'll make sure that there's nobody else, nobody else..."
Let me know if it's a go or a no!
xxxx
Reply
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