that mini-essay I've been meaning to write

Nov 17, 2009 20:42

Q: Aside from the obvious, why does camp bother Yuujirou so much? (PROBABLY YOU DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE, BUT THIS IS WHAT THE ESSAY IS ABOUT.)

SO LIKE. Yuujirou has these ISSUES with feeling like an outsider in his own family. Once his mother remarried and had another child, it seemed like she was starting a new, perfect family without him. HE CONFESSED ALL THIS TO TOHRU and Tohru told him how dumb he was being and all and they grow closer because Yuujirou shows Tohru his weakness ETC. "That's nice Yuu-chan," you may say. "But your family is not in camp so why does this even apply."

THIS IS TRUE! And he's not really worried about his family right now! But there are people he knows here--including Tohru! THAT'S COOL! He and his best friend can be in this together--

Except Tohru has been here. For years. He's totally settled in. He has all new friends. This girl Tomo is living with him and he speaks glowingly of her like they've been best friends for ages! MAYBE THEY HAVE BEEN!

Besides that, there are people everywhere who recognize Yuujirou! Because he's been here before! But he doesn't remember. AT ALLLL. There are all these people who are friendly with him, and know him on a personal level, and he has no fucking clue who they are.

So... you see where this is going, right. He doesn't feel like he belongs here. Just like with his family, it is pretty irrational! Tohru and everyone like him being there! But he can't shake off the feeling. He feels like an outsider with his BEST FRIEND! He feels like an outsider with HIMSELF!! It's an icky terrible feeling for him and he prefers to interact with people who had no relationship with him before so he has a BLANK SLATE with them. (Which isn't to say that people who knew him before shouldn't interact with him because they should; just, he's awkward with all of them, no matter how nice they are, okay.) And he doesn't really have anyone he feels comfortable talking to about it seeing as TOHRU is part of the PROBLEMMMM. :/

So mostly he will just deal with it FOR NOW by being a sulky bitch sometimes, and worrying about all the other parts of camp, which are weird and kinda scary but at least they don't hit any personal issues. Except the forest plot which ended up triggering his desire for somewhere to belong in camp and now he's a sulky bitch about that whole thing too.

EVENTUALLY SOMEONE WILL BEAT HIS ISSUES OUT OF HIM BUT THIS IS WHERE THEY ARE FOR NOW

in conclusion: he can be kinda dumb. Also I need to do that one post with Tohru and Tomo.

essay

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