The poetry of the professions

[hairyears]

Partying in Cambridge last night, our delightful hostess fiona_kitty introduced me to Aoife, an actuaritrix, who requested a terrible thing:

Comments

[valkyriekaren]

A young lady's new gynaecologist
stammered and blushed his apologies
when a twitch of her twatch
removed his watch
and they had to consult an horologist.

[hairyears]

WIN

Could scan a bit better, but... WIN!

[htfb]

"What porn can arouse gynaecologists?"
This research topic, at fine art colleges,
Leads to strange photofits
Of deranged ladybits
And regrettable vagina collages.

[hairyears]

If I can make it scan - Limericks can work with bad rhymes but they *must* have the metre - this counts as a magnificent addition to the literature.

[htfb]

Pah. It is in perfect amphibrach metre---with a feminine ending---if you pronounce it *properly*.

[hairyears]

The second line is best described as amphibious or batrachian: try 'Tis studied at all Fine Art colleges and see where it takes you.

[uisgebeatha]

I have no limerick to contribute, but I'm mildly amused about Aoife requesting dodgy limericks. She used to date pjc50, and was the world's most conservative Catholic. Guess being an actuary can loosen you up, eh...

[robert_jones]

Limericks can get away with bad rhymes but they absolutely *must* have the rhythm.

Not quite true.

[hairyears]

Hmmm... A joke about Limericks but not, itself, a Limerick. Given the subject - There was a young man from Japan - I would say that the author missed a trick: the amusingly mis-metred final line should've had seventeen syllables. But Haiku is a far more challenging form!

[htfb]

There's the famous Limeraiku by Ted Pauker (whom I learn on Googling is historian Robert Conquest):

There's a vile old man
Of Japan who roars at whores
"Where's your bloody fan?"

Not mine, variants exist on t'Interwebs

[pw201]

There was a young lawyer named Rex,
Who had very small organs of sex.
When charged with exposure,
He said with composure:
De minimis non curat lex