{FIC} Rainy Night.
Title: Rainy Night.
Author:
Pairing: Jonghyun/Minho
Rating: PG13
Genre: Romance, Slight Angst.
Summary:He finally does answer the phone, two hours later. When the number of missed calls reached sixteen.
A/N: It's been a very long time since I actually finished something, so I'm sorry if it's a bit short/bad. ^^;;
Minho doesn’t think about it anymore. He doesn’t think about him
At least he didn’t feel the need to, not until that night. That one rainy night. When he was about to go to bed early, that’s what he said to himself when he came home from his job and threw his bag in the corner of the room. But he ended up at the window, a cup of hot steaming coffee in his hand, the rain softly falling against the window.
He takes a sip of his coffee, watching the people hurry to their homes, trying to avoid the raindrops coming down from the sky with opened umbrellas, raincoats, or even a suitcase held above their head. His phone rings but he doesn’t bother looking at it anymore, he knows who’s calling, he has clicked away the phone call a few times that day already
Minho sighs, and clutches the warm cup to his chest
He knows this person; that's exactly the reason why he doesn't pick up.
-
"Minho, come on, don't be like this."
Minho sighs and he throws his head back, closing his eyes in frustration. Feeling the distant ache of a migraine coming up. "Why shouldn't I be like this." He bites back, still not looking back at the person standing there. His lover, or should he say his ex-lover.
"I love you." Comes the reply, and Minho freezes. Million thoughts running through his mind, his heart equally busy
Finally he turns around, and shakes his head slightly at the other man who stares at him desperately. "I guess you told him that as well right?"
Jonghyun throws down the phone, and buries his head in his hands. Gritting his teeth in frustration.
“Damnit."
He looks out of the window watching the seeming never ending rain as he slightly wonders if Jinki-hyung lied to him when he gave him Minho's number, he seemed a bit hesitant to give it to Jonghyun already, so it wouldn't really surprise him if he switched a few numbers around.
He looks at his phone again, which is now lying facedown on the covers of his bed. But then again, would he pick up the phone if he had something like that happen to him. If Minho had done something like that to him.
Minho probably still recognizes his number even though he got a new phone after breaking up with Jonghyun. He always said it was important to know the phone numbers of the most beloved people in his life, besides the needing it for emergencies he saw it as a sign of love. He knows everything about the people he loves, just like Jonghyun knows everything about Minho.
"Why am I even trying anymore." Jonghyun slightly mutters to himself as he picks up his phone to lazily stare at the number again. 'because you miss him, and you need to hear his voice even if he's just going to tell you to fuck off again.'
"Let's give it one more try then."
-
He finally does answer the phone, two hours later. When the number of missed calls reached sixteen.
“Minho.” Comes his name from the sweet voice on the other side of the line.
It isn’t a normal greeting, so he’s not sure how to reply. Not like he could get any sound out of his throat now anyways. The other’s voice having this effect on him.
"Minho." The other breathes again, and Minho thinks he's at least not the only person who's voice is lost right now. "I…."
Silence takes over the conversation again. And Minho sighs softly, wondering to himself why he picked up the phone again.
"Jonghyun," he finally breathes, the voice that comes from his throat seems unfamiliar. He takes a moment to clear his throat before speaking again; "Hyung, why did you call?"
-
"I guess you told him that as well right?" He tells him, and Jonghyun feels his heart shatter.
"No, Minho, god, no." He mutters, "It wasn't anything really, baby. I didn't, no." He feels the tears burning in his eyes, guilt running through his body. "I.. I never said that to anyone but you." He looks up to see Minho still looking at him with that emotionless gaze in his eyes. "Minho please, I never-"
Minho takes a deep breathe as he picks up his bag that was left on the floor, and Jonghyun can see the younger man's eyes watering even though they are not focused on him. "I don't-" Minho shakes his head again, faster this time, "I don't believe you. I don't." He looks up, the first couple of tears running down his cheeks. "I don't want to see you anymore."
-
"I miss you." The older man finally replies on the other side of the line. "I know you don't want to see me anymore, and I can completely understand why, but-." Minho hears him take a deep breathe, his voice wavering slightly when he speaks again. "But, I really miss you, Minho."
"Ah." Minho replies, as lack for a better reply. He really doesn't know what to reply, one side of him wants to cry, to let out all the tears he's been holding in because he maybe regretted his decision in leaving Jonghyun. That side of him wants to just tell Jonghyun that he missed him too. But the other side, the hurt side, of him is more rational. Every time he closes his eyes he can still see himself walking into the bedroom to come face to face with the image that was burned into his memory. So even if he missed Jonghyun as well, and wanted nothing more than to crawl back into his arms and forgot the older man ever slept with someone else, can he really?
"I know I have no right to ask this of you," Jonghyun speaks again, "I know I don't even have the right to call you anymore. But, would you like to meet up for some coffee? I know it's a lot to ask really, but I think I owe you an explanation."
-
"I'm not going to say I was drunk, I'm not even going to say he just threw himself at me and I couldn't do anything other than give in." Jonghyu begins when the two of them settled down at a table in the corner of the shop and ordered their coffee. A regular black coffee for Jonghyun and cappuccino for Minho. "I won't tell you those lies to make my own ass look better, I can't do that to you."
"But you could do that." Minho bites, as he finally looks up at Jonghyun. Dark circles surrounding his eyes, he really should go to bed earlier at night. Jonghyun blushes and looks down to the coffee cups being put on the table by the waiter, who raises an eyebrow at the two men sitting at the table. "Can I get you anything else?"
"No, thank you." Jonghyun replies quickly as he looks back at Minho, waiting for the waiter to leave before speaking again. "I've asked you to come here to explain myself, and although I don't think I really can tell you why I did that. I just need you to know, that there were absolutely no feelings involved. And the thing you walked in on was the only thing that ever happened between him and me." He sighes, looking up at Minho who's still sitting there staring at him with the same emotionless gaze as before, only a touch of anger buried in his gaze.
"I still love you, maybe there was a lot of lust and want between him and me that night, but there wasn't any love. Love was only ever given to you." He nods after this, and picks up his coffee cup to take a sip, wetting his lips slightly before putting it down again.
"You don't have to believe me, but I just wanted you to hear this from me, I," He searches for the next words to say; "I wanted to tell you this, not to ease my conscience, neither to win you over, because I know that's probably not going to happen." He adds with a bitter smile
"But that's all I can say. I love you, I miss you, and I'm terribly sorry for hurting you like this." He looks up at Minho and smiles softly, "I know you too well Minho, I hurt you, I know that. Under that tough guy appearance I see you're hurting, you're not sleeping well if I can believe those dark circles and you're awfully skinny… And I'm the one who caused that."
Minho just listens, after his little outburst before he has resigned to silence. His hands clutching the cup of cappuccino in front of him, slowly soaking in Jonghyun's words. The wall around his heart slowly breaking down again. One of the things he loved the most about Jonghyun was the way he spoke, not only his voice to which he could listen for hours. Also his word choice for things, if he wanted to say something he would say it. Sometimes it would just escape from his lips before he even thought about it, and then he would brush brightly if he came to the realization what he just said. And other times it would come from his lips slowly, after thoroughly thinking about it. About to way he would say it, or what words he would use. Usually the things he said then were important, and definitely worth listening to.
"….Love was only ever given to you." Minho looks out the window for a moment, feeling his heart burn with unwanted feelings. Jonghyun's words affecting him no matter how hard he tries to shut them out.
He looks back at him again, taking a small sip from his cappuccino as he watches Jonghyun speak. "I know you too well Minho, I hurt you, I know that. Under that tough guy appearance I see you're hurting, you're not sleeping well if I can believe those dark circles and you're awfully skinny… And I'm the one who caused that."
Minho slightly pulls his jacket closer around him as the older man tells him that, and he looks away slightly. He's right, in every single way. No matter how much Minho tries to block him out, to tell himself it's not worth to it to feel hurt because of what Jonghyun did to him. He's a wreck without him.
"I'm sorry again, Minho. Just find happiness again okay?" Jonghyun suddenly says and he hears the sound of a coffee cup hitting the table. He looks up to see Jonghyun slowly rising from his seat, a tear rolling down the older man's cheek. "You deserve happiness so much okay?" And he turns around to walk away.
"It's going to take time though, before I find that happiness again."
Minho says, right before he completely turns away from the table and when he looks back he sees that Minho has risen up from his seat as well.
"And I'm sorry, I," Jonghyun starts, as more tears roll down his cheek seeing Minho's emotionless gaze slowly transforming until the tears well up in the younger one's eyes as well as he continues to speak: "Because I love you, but that doesn't mean I'm not still hurting by what you did. That I won't trust you for the first couple of months, maybe even years."
He takes a deep breath, angrily wiping some tears from his cheek that started falling. "Shit."
For a moment Jonghyun stands there frozen, but then he takes a step forward, and another one until he's holding Minho's hands in his own. Minho's fingers tightening, his grip almost painful. But Jonghyun just stands there as Minho almost screams the next few words at him; "I can't live without you Jonghyun, it hurts but looking at you now hurts as well and I don't know anymore." "Minho." Jonghyun breathes, although he's not sure how he's still capable of breathing after the words Minho just spoke. "I don't want to be the reason you cry anymore, please Minho, don't cry."
"Then take this second change I'm giving you, make me happy. Learn me that I can trust you again, that you won't hurt me ever again. Show me that love you only ever gave to me. Don't hurt me anymore, please." He whispers, his eyes dropping down to the floor. Shoulders shaking lightly.
"I won't, god-" Jonghyun whispers as he squeezes Minho's hands softly. "I promise I won't, Minho."
And then Minho looks up, looking straight into Jonghyun's eyes for the first time that night. And he smiles, finally.