[b1a4] the (not so exciting) adventures of lee sandal; pg
Title: The (Not So Exciting) Adventures of Lee Sandal
Pairing: Sandeul-centric
Rating: PG
Summary: In which Sandeul turns into another inanimate object. Any guesses?
Word count: ~1,300
the (not so exciting) adventures of lee sandal;;-
// butt-kicking, shoe-making, circus fun. //
Sandeul’s been through a lot in his relatively short life.
For starters, he’s won a nationwide singing competition. He’s taken photos with lots of pretty female classmates at theme parks, and even dated a couple of them, much to his group’s disbelief. He’s the main vocal of an increasingly popular boyband. Heck, he’s even turned into a fucking sprout twice and jerked Jinyoung off the second time it had happened -- so logically, nothing much weirder could happen, right?
Well, that’s what he thinks until he wakes up one morning and he’s got the prettiest leather insoles anyone’s ever seen.
Gongchan screams a little when he sees Sandeul plodding across the living room floor, but you know, Sandeul can understand that. It’s not every day you see a pair of sandals running around by themselves -- but nevertheless, he’s still a little hurt when Gongchan runs up and kicks him so hard he flies out onto the cold balcony and lands on his sandally ass.
He’s rescued twenty minutes later by the ever responsible CNU. Admittedly, he’s still pretty pissed at Gongchan for kicking him there in the first place, but CNU consoles him by saying, “Hey, at least you didn’t fly off the balcony, right?”
(It’s not very consoling.)
“Um. Well.”
The other four members are gathered around Sandeul, who’s stomping dejectedly on their living room table. Jinyoung’s quiet, his face buried in his hands, deep in thought. Baro’s fiddling with Sandeul’s lace-up straps, and Gongchan’s wailing quietly to himself in a corner.
“So I guess we’ll be changing his stage name from Sandeul to Sandal now,” CNU says quietly. Baro tuts, shakes his head in mock-sadness and tugs viciously at Lee Sandal’s left strap. Sandeul stomps on his finger.
Sandals deal a lot more damage than sprouts, for sure. Baro’s finger goes a nice shade of purple.
“Serves you right,” Sandeul-the-sandal thinks smugly as Baro scrunches his face up in pain, shaking a fist menacingly at the sandals on the table.
“How about we, uh, figure out...how...Sandeul...turned into a pair of sandals?” Jinyoung mumbles from behind his hands. The room falls quiet again.
“I know!” Gongchan suddenly pipes up, and grabs Sandeul. He’s stopped wailing and looks genuinely inspired. “Hyung, hyung, hyung," he says seriously to the sandals in his hands, and Jinyoung sighs. "Hyung, have you been eating pork rinds? I mean, I know that stuff has collagen and it’s supposed to be good for your skin but...”
Sandeul would groan if he could. Pork rinds -- really?
“I’m…pretty sure he’s made from kangaroo leather.” Jinyoung plucks Sandeul out of Gongchan's hands and turns him around, squinting at the label, and sure enough, there’s a little picture of a kangaroo in the bottom right hand corner. “I don’t think you’ve eaten...kangaroo...before...right?”
“Well, that would explain why he’s so jumpy,” CNU muses. “He should be pretty durable too; kangaroo leather is very fine, soft and one of the strongest leathers on the market.”
Jinyoung shoots a curious look at CNU, and he raises his hands defensively.
“Well, I did want to be a shoemaker once upon a time. Hey, we all have childhood dreams, okay?”
Jinyoung nods skeptically.
“Anyway. 100% leather insoles and upper,” he continues to read off the little label (which Sandeul’s now pretty sure is his butt, because he can feel something poking him in the behind every time Jinyoung tugs at the label). Sandeul shivers a little at the touch, as a sandal does. “Waterproof, heat-resistant, shrink-resistant--”
“Oh, so Sandeul hyung won’t drown if we need to wash him, right?” Gongchan asks.
“Or die if we try to kill him with fire?” Baro adds, and Sandeul jumps off the table and springs up to plant a kick right on Baro’s ass.
(He has the nicest ass that Sandeul-the-sandal’s ever had the pleasure of kicking. It’s very satisfying.)
The laptop’s out again, and every single possible variation of ‘humans turning into sandals’ has been typed into the Naver search box, to no avail. Jinyoung’s about to push CNU away from the laptop when Gongchan shrieks, and they all jump, startled.
“We have to keep Jinyoung hyung away from the computer!” he explains. “Remember? Last time he clicked on that druggie homepage and the police tracked us down and tried to arrest CNU hyung.”
Jinyoung backs away from the laptop. Sandeul-the-sandal flops around.
“You know, I was really expecting you to turn into a sprout again or something,” Baro muses and chuckles a little to himself, remembering his admirable feats. Jinyoung narrows his eyes at Baro, and he just grins wider. “But yeah, uh. At least you’re useful this time? And stronger,” he adds upon consideration, nursing both his injured finger and butt.
Jinyoung rolls his eyes.
“You deserved that. And you all realise we have to be on a plane to Japan in...less than ten hours, right?” he says, rubbing the bridge of his nose. CNU purses his lips.
“Well, look on the bright side. At least he’s not a plant again, or he’d never pass through customs.” He clicks on a page and stares in admiration. “What a shame. If he were these Yves Saint Laurent Studded suede platform sandals we could sell him for a million won.”
Baro’s mouth falls open, struck by sudden inspiration. Sandeul cringes, feeling a horrible sense of déjà vu. This can’t be good for him.
“Wait, can’t we just sell him to the circus instead? Lee Sandeul the magical walking Sandal! Charge ten thousand won for a feel. Fifty thousand won to walk with him on. It’d be a hit.”
“Baro.”
“What?”
“No. I think we kind of need him. He’s our lead vocal.”
Baro ponders for a moment. “Hey, Sandal-face,” he says to Sandeul. “Sing a song for us-- oh wait, you can’t, because you’re a sandal.” He chuckles at himself.
Sandeul shoots him the dirtiest glare a sandal can shoot.
“I will maim you. And your children.”
“Anyway,” Jinyoung continues, rubbing his brow tiredly. “I don’t think people would line up to see a...y’know.” He motions in Sandeul’s vague direction. “A brown…sandal…”
“Aww, Sandeul, don’t listen to that meanie Jinyoungie hyung,” Baro coos, and Sandeul sighs, defeated. “You are beautiful. Bootiful, actually. Let me put you on my wonderful feet.”
“You-- I don’t think Sandeul’s a boot, Baro.”
“Whatever,” Baro replies, slipping Sandeul on, and parades around the room. “Guys, we could totally do this.”
“Holy fuck Baro, your feet stink,” Sandeul-the-sandal mourns, and holds his (figurative) breath. “You’re also as heavy as an elephant STOP SQUISHING ME.”
The others watch as Baro races around the couch, table, and plops back onto the floor, grinning.
“…So,” Gongchan says, after a lengthy pause. “Are we...sending hyung to the circus?”
He looks at Baro, who nods vigorously. He looks to Jinyoung, who shakes his head vigorously. He looks at CNU.
CNU shrugs.
“Idiot,” Sandeul curses. “Idiots, the lot of you.”
They actually do end up selling Sandeul to the circus -- well, Baro does anyway (because Jinyoung refuses to take part in the transaction) and spends all the money on ice cream.
He gets a stomach-ache, which would leave Sandeul crowing in victory -- if he were actually there to witness it.
Lee Sandeul the magical walking Sandal! is displayed and trampled on by feet of all shapes and sizes for all of two hours, until the creepy fortune-teller-magician-witch-lady in the tent next to his casts some kind of hoodoo on him and he zaps back to the dorm, landing on top of a naked, showering Jinyoung.
(Jinyoung later finds out that the fortune-teller-magician-witch-lady supposedly grants people their hidden desires.
He corners Sandeul in the airplane bathroom on their flight back from Japan. Sandeul has some serious explaining to do.
And maybe some demonstration, too.)
a/n: i blame starlitbright and her autocorrecting iPod for EVERYTHING.
Pairing: Sandeul-centric
Rating: PG
Summary: In which Sandeul turns into another inanimate object. Any guesses?
Word count: ~1,300
the (not so exciting) adventures of lee sandal;;-
// butt-kicking, shoe-making, circus fun. //
Sandeul’s been through a lot in his relatively short life.
For starters, he’s won a nationwide singing competition. He’s taken photos with lots of pretty female classmates at theme parks, and even dated a couple of them, much to his group’s disbelief. He’s the main vocal of an increasingly popular boyband. Heck, he’s even turned into a fucking sprout twice and jerked Jinyoung off the second time it had happened -- so logically, nothing much weirder could happen, right?
Well, that’s what he thinks until he wakes up one morning and he’s got the prettiest leather insoles anyone’s ever seen.
Gongchan screams a little when he sees Sandeul plodding across the living room floor, but you know, Sandeul can understand that. It’s not every day you see a pair of sandals running around by themselves -- but nevertheless, he’s still a little hurt when Gongchan runs up and kicks him so hard he flies out onto the cold balcony and lands on his sandally ass.
He’s rescued twenty minutes later by the ever responsible CNU. Admittedly, he’s still pretty pissed at Gongchan for kicking him there in the first place, but CNU consoles him by saying, “Hey, at least you didn’t fly off the balcony, right?”
(It’s not very consoling.)
“Um. Well.”
The other four members are gathered around Sandeul, who’s stomping dejectedly on their living room table. Jinyoung’s quiet, his face buried in his hands, deep in thought. Baro’s fiddling with Sandeul’s lace-up straps, and Gongchan’s wailing quietly to himself in a corner.
“So I guess we’ll be changing his stage name from Sandeul to Sandal now,” CNU says quietly. Baro tuts, shakes his head in mock-sadness and tugs viciously at Lee Sandal’s left strap. Sandeul stomps on his finger.
Sandals deal a lot more damage than sprouts, for sure. Baro’s finger goes a nice shade of purple.
“Serves you right,” Sandeul-the-sandal thinks smugly as Baro scrunches his face up in pain, shaking a fist menacingly at the sandals on the table.
“How about we, uh, figure out...how...Sandeul...turned into a pair of sandals?” Jinyoung mumbles from behind his hands. The room falls quiet again.
“I know!” Gongchan suddenly pipes up, and grabs Sandeul. He’s stopped wailing and looks genuinely inspired. “Hyung, hyung, hyung," he says seriously to the sandals in his hands, and Jinyoung sighs. "Hyung, have you been eating pork rinds? I mean, I know that stuff has collagen and it’s supposed to be good for your skin but...”
Sandeul would groan if he could. Pork rinds -- really?
“I’m…pretty sure he’s made from kangaroo leather.” Jinyoung plucks Sandeul out of Gongchan's hands and turns him around, squinting at the label, and sure enough, there’s a little picture of a kangaroo in the bottom right hand corner. “I don’t think you’ve eaten...kangaroo...before...right?”
“Well, that would explain why he’s so jumpy,” CNU muses. “He should be pretty durable too; kangaroo leather is very fine, soft and one of the strongest leathers on the market.”
Jinyoung shoots a curious look at CNU, and he raises his hands defensively.
“Well, I did want to be a shoemaker once upon a time. Hey, we all have childhood dreams, okay?”
Jinyoung nods skeptically.
“Anyway. 100% leather insoles and upper,” he continues to read off the little label (which Sandeul’s now pretty sure is his butt, because he can feel something poking him in the behind every time Jinyoung tugs at the label). Sandeul shivers a little at the touch, as a sandal does. “Waterproof, heat-resistant, shrink-resistant--”
“Oh, so Sandeul hyung won’t drown if we need to wash him, right?” Gongchan asks.
“Or die if we try to kill him with fire?” Baro adds, and Sandeul jumps off the table and springs up to plant a kick right on Baro’s ass.
(He has the nicest ass that Sandeul-the-sandal’s ever had the pleasure of kicking. It’s very satisfying.)
The laptop’s out again, and every single possible variation of ‘humans turning into sandals’ has been typed into the Naver search box, to no avail. Jinyoung’s about to push CNU away from the laptop when Gongchan shrieks, and they all jump, startled.
“We have to keep Jinyoung hyung away from the computer!” he explains. “Remember? Last time he clicked on that druggie homepage and the police tracked us down and tried to arrest CNU hyung.”
Jinyoung backs away from the laptop. Sandeul-the-sandal flops around.
“You know, I was really expecting you to turn into a sprout again or something,” Baro muses and chuckles a little to himself, remembering his admirable feats. Jinyoung narrows his eyes at Baro, and he just grins wider. “But yeah, uh. At least you’re useful this time? And stronger,” he adds upon consideration, nursing both his injured finger and butt.
Jinyoung rolls his eyes.
“You deserved that. And you all realise we have to be on a plane to Japan in...less than ten hours, right?” he says, rubbing the bridge of his nose. CNU purses his lips.
“Well, look on the bright side. At least he’s not a plant again, or he’d never pass through customs.” He clicks on a page and stares in admiration. “What a shame. If he were these Yves Saint Laurent Studded suede platform sandals we could sell him for a million won.”
Baro’s mouth falls open, struck by sudden inspiration. Sandeul cringes, feeling a horrible sense of déjà vu. This can’t be good for him.
“Wait, can’t we just sell him to the circus instead? Lee Sandeul the magical walking Sandal! Charge ten thousand won for a feel. Fifty thousand won to walk with him on. It’d be a hit.”
“Baro.”
“What?”
“No. I think we kind of need him. He’s our lead vocal.”
Baro ponders for a moment. “Hey, Sandal-face,” he says to Sandeul. “Sing a song for us-- oh wait, you can’t, because you’re a sandal.” He chuckles at himself.
Sandeul shoots him the dirtiest glare a sandal can shoot.
“I will maim you. And your children.”
“Anyway,” Jinyoung continues, rubbing his brow tiredly. “I don’t think people would line up to see a...y’know.” He motions in Sandeul’s vague direction. “A brown…sandal…”
“Aww, Sandeul, don’t listen to that meanie Jinyoungie hyung,” Baro coos, and Sandeul sighs, defeated. “You are beautiful. Bootiful, actually. Let me put you on my wonderful feet.”
“You-- I don’t think Sandeul’s a boot, Baro.”
“Whatever,” Baro replies, slipping Sandeul on, and parades around the room. “Guys, we could totally do this.”
“Holy fuck Baro, your feet stink,” Sandeul-the-sandal mourns, and holds his (figurative) breath. “You’re also as heavy as an elephant STOP SQUISHING ME.”
The others watch as Baro races around the couch, table, and plops back onto the floor, grinning.
“…So,” Gongchan says, after a lengthy pause. “Are we...sending hyung to the circus?”
He looks at Baro, who nods vigorously. He looks to Jinyoung, who shakes his head vigorously. He looks at CNU.
CNU shrugs.
“Idiot,” Sandeul curses. “Idiots, the lot of you.”
They actually do end up selling Sandeul to the circus -- well, Baro does anyway (because Jinyoung refuses to take part in the transaction) and spends all the money on ice cream.
He gets a stomach-ache, which would leave Sandeul crowing in victory -- if he were actually there to witness it.
Lee Sandeul the magical walking Sandal! is displayed and trampled on by feet of all shapes and sizes for all of two hours, until the creepy fortune-teller-magician-witch-lady in the tent next to his casts some kind of hoodoo on him and he zaps back to the dorm, landing on top of a naked, showering Jinyoung.
(Jinyoung later finds out that the fortune-teller-magician-witch-lady supposedly grants people their hidden desires.
He corners Sandeul in the airplane bathroom on their flight back from Japan. Sandeul has some serious explaining to do.
And maybe some demonstration, too.)
a/n: i blame starlitbright and her autocorrecting iPod for EVERYTHING.