Revelations Cycle Ninth Iteration: The Sea Without Shore
I got a comment once to the effect of "why do you never use Eridan in any of your plots and why do you treat him like such an asshole when you do", which I thought was a fair point because Eridan, who is Eridan, I know not of whom you speak.
What I'm saying here is that I hope future plot developments make you happy, Eridan-loving anon, if you are even still around.
Also in my headcanon human!Nepeta is Hispanic and human!Equius is of Hispanic and Native American descent. I am not entirely sure how this happened.
<==
~~~
Today you will kill him. Today is the day. You had hope for awhile that somehow, some way, you would be allowed to spare him, that he would come to his senses, that this session would end in anything but bloodshed.
Given your track record, you really should have known better.
Grimly, you heft the sickle and step forward as lightning cracks overhead. The Denizen is dead, the Black Queen fallen, and all he can think on is his loss, the aching hole in his heart. And the worst part is that you understand, you really do. You understand about heartache and missing those who are gone, of yearning for something you know you will never touch again, some secret hidden bliss that will elude you for the rest of your days. But you also understand about fate, now, and destiny, and hate and love and revenge, and the voices in your head are screaming that there must be an end to this. The voices are few, yet, but there will be more next time, and more bodies, and their blood will all be on your hands.
Another figure approaches as you prepare to mount the staircase, to travel through the next and final gate, where you will face your foe. Moirail, once. Friend, confidant, lover. You need to separate these things from the truth, which is that everything will shatter into pain and nothingness if you do not do this. (You think of John, and the world he will never see, and the blood boils in your veins.) The man wears a cape in deep purple to match his blood, and gaudy rings, and you sneer at him, once disdainful backward glance, devoid of hate. All your ichor belongs to another, now.
"I want to help, Kar," he tells you in a tone that very clearly means he will help whether you like it or not, and you show him your teeth again, unimpressed.
"Give me one good reason I should let you have a second chance, fuckass," you snarl, brows drawn together in an angry scowl as you tighten your grip over the handle of the sickle. Your hands are calloused, skin thick and rough from years of wielding the weapon, but it still feels odd and uncomfortable in your hand, unnatural in a way that confounds you. "You were supposed to watch him, and you fucked up, so now I have to clean up your goddamn mess. Do you think this is fun for me? It's not. But I'm the leader, and I have to protect them, and you, and I can do that without the assistance of a grubfucking moron who still thinks magic isn't real."
The Prince shakes his head at you ruefully, frowning, his shredded scarf flying in tatters in the sudden wind. A storm is coming, stirring the sea. "He's my kismesis. It's none of your business."
"And you are the proud owner of a delusional, diseased thinkpan so rotted by loneliness that you actually think he'd touch you if you paid him," you snap, and take another step, turning away from him.
It is at this point that you feel the tip of a wand digging into your back, just between your shoulderblades, and you know that it is over. "Please," he says, and what gets you is that even though he could murder you where you stand right now and no one would know, even though he holds the power here, his voice is a little broken, a little pleading, because what he wants is acceptance, and you were once his friend. "One more chance, Kar. That's all I want. This time I can kill him, I know I can. And if I fail, you'll be right there."
You take a deep breath and close your eyes, remembering. You remember the blood, and the pain, and glassy eyes and a failed machine and more death and more blood and back and back into someone else's memories, of someplace cold and sterile and a hatred scorned and so many things, and you cannot deny him, because the voices are still whispering, It's over. And you know that it is. One day, you will have your revenge, and it will be sweet. For now, you will let Eridan have his turn.
"Fine," you say, turning back to him and affixing your most grimly terrifying look to your features, "but... fuck. If you fuck this up, I'll hit you so far into next week you'll be coughing up Tuesday."
He grins, and a shiver would run down your spine if you weren't already scared shitless of what the future holds. "I think I can live with that."
---
AA: did you deliver it then?
TG: yeah and good fucking riddance to it
TG: thing was damn freaky
TG: some serious telltale heart bullshit up in there
TG: and i still have no idea what the hell she even wanted it for
AA: i wouldnt worry too much about it dave
AA: youll benefit in the end
TG: whatever
TG: i dont understand why every conversation we have has to consist entirely of cagey bullshit
TG: time bros before hos man
AA: its just how it works im afraid
AA: if i tell you whats coming you wont do it!
TG: thats fucking retarded of course i will
TG: i know what happens when you ignore important shit like that
AA: its not that i dont trust you
AA: but no you wouldnt
AA: i must confess that this scenario is one ive never seen before given the singular nature of this session
AA: but thats why we need to remove all variables
AA: everything has to go according to plan
TG: why do i feel like this is some serious fucking foreshadowing youre throwing down on me here
TG: like the gogdamned dramatic thunderstorm on the horizon
TG: or someone saying this cant get worse
TG: fuck dude batten the hatches
TG: category five shitstorm coming in from the west
AA: you just have to be calm dave
AA: theres a reward for you at the end of it
AA: something youve always wanted
AA: for now just follow my instructions and everything will be fine
AA: probably
TG: fuck alright
TG: what do you need now
TG: if you mention anything about organ trafficking again i will flip my shit so hard ill do cartwheels right off the fucking astral plane
TG: i will fly so far off the handle theyll be able to see me clear on the other end of paradox space
AA: haha no!
AA: this is something youll want to do
AA: i need you to keep contacting terezi
TG: yeah not like thats any huge damn hardship except for the part where shes crazy and lalonde is all over me to help with her bullshit project and i dont have a fucking second to myself
TG: but why do you care now that i woke her up
TG: or is that another one of those mysteries of the universe my body isnt ready for
AA: i can no longer interact directly with this session
AA: not until the time is right as it were
AA: and while your cohorts are awake as well you are the best and most stable choice of a permanent envoy
AA: john at least is imminently clueless and must by necessity remain that way
TG: yeah hes a little derp even with fangs and a spade on his shirtsleeves
AA: but so are you dave!
TG: what a derp
TG: i take offense to that
AA: no clueless
AA: but thats okay
AA: to tell the truth none of us really know all of whats happening i think
AA: we all have different pieces but the puzzle wont be complete until skaia
TG: what are you up to anyway
AA: starting some sick fires
TG: haha really
AA: literally
---
The mighty huntress stalks her purrey...
Karl wasn't immediately aware of regaining consciousness, only that at some point it had happened, and now he was standing in a field in what appeared to be a mountain valley, cool wind ruffling his hair and playing across his face. Mountains surrounded them on all sides, sometimes far off by the horizon and sometimes within comfortable walking distance, corralling them into an area that looked about a hundred miles square, maybe more or less. They stood on a hill, one of many, with a few trees here and there, surveying a land that sloped downward, the carpet of long, swaying grass endless and unbroken. Once, when Karl had been small, his father had taken a 'business trip' to Montana and sent him back a postcard-- it had looked uncannily like this.
Teri was still with him, as was her dragon, but there was something wrong with the both of them, it seemed; Teri's normal, semi-permanent grin had been replaced by a slight frown as she stood by her steed's side and stroked its neck. The dragon's scales seemed dull, no longer glimmering cheerfully in the sunlight, the color of burnished brass instead of gold, and when it exhaled a puff of ash fell to the four winds, scattering.
"Nell's supposed to be here, huh?" Karl asked after a moment, kicking awkwardly at a stray rock and watching it bounce and skitter down the hill, transfixed and wanting to avoid meeting the condemning glare of Teri's scarlet glasses. His human companion shrugged, noncommittal.
"That's what she said. I don't think she would have gone on without us."
"You sure about that?"
Teri frowned harder, sparing him a sightless glance over her shoulder. "No. Maybe you'd better check." Karl pulled up pesterchum and his expression darkened, some deep and instinctive sense of foreboding settling in his chest as he perused his chumroll, fingers slipping clumsily over the touch screen.
"She's not online," he said, and his voice sounded weak even to him. "Neither is Earl."
"And Daevid isn't answering me either," she told him, a twinge of frustration marring her otherwise flat and careless tone. Karl looked up, and saw that she'd moved away from the dragon, standing with arms akimbo as the wind blew through her short hair, fanning it out behind her and catching on her clothes. Karl had always found it difficult to judge her thoughts and emotions, even before she'd gone blind and the glasses had hidden that particular window to her soul from him forever, but now it was nigh on impossible except when she was particularly perturbed. Nevertheless, it seemed painfully obvious to him that she was upset, from the firm line her mouth had formed, lips persed, to the slight crease in her forehead.
"Is that bad?" he drawled, something deep and instinctive sparking in him. Of course if Teri was upset it would be that smug bastard's fault.
"It's... unusual," she told him, and turned away, the dragon wrapping its tail around her legs and drawing her in again, giving Karl a look that could only be described as 'disgusted'. Karl stuck his tongue out at it and went back to examining his phone, pretending not to listen as Teri went on. "I mean, how would you feel if yours just suddenly started ignoring you? They talk about fate and destiny and all of it's bullshit, really." Now she sounded disgusted, too. "They start showing you things and then you wake up and you can't tell what's real anymore and they don't even have the decency to stick around and explain."
Karl, only half paying attention, shrugged. "What do you mean if he was ignoring me?"
There was the rustle of clothing from behind him, and though Karl refused to look, he knew that Teri was staring at him again-- or at least pointing those sightless, intense eyes in his direction. "Come again?"
"You mean Egbert, right? Yeah. I tell you what, I've had fucking enough of asshole trolls and their emotionally manipulative fuckwittery. All of them can just go and have a little orgy by themselves if they want to, for all I care." By the end of this declaration Karl was snarling and mashing buttons harshly, rage and humiliation filling him. It was hard to know what to believe anymore, with Egbert telling him things and then refusing to talk about them, and the worst part was that Karl cared. He cared a lot. He didn't know the how or why of it, but from the moment SBURB had taken him, he'd felt a pull towards something he couldn't explain, something far off and distant that wanted him, waited for him, and he hadn't been able to touch it until Jawwhn had told him that he loved him. Facetious or not, that conversation had wormed its way into Karl's brain and refused to leave, and now the thought that it had been just a joke was...
Karl didn't know what it was, because surely he wasn't a homosexual and surely he did not return such feelings, could not return them. But the idea of such a slight, of being so repulsive a failure that even internet trolls mocked him with it, was enough to make him flush angrily.
But Teri wasn't having any of it. "What did he tell you?" she asked, voice suddenly soft and as deadly serious as a knife sliding against his throat. "Karl, what happened?"
"Nothing happened," Karl spat, cursing as he hit the wrong button and the chat window Egbert had initiated popped up; there was his own familiar steel gray text, and the electric blue of the man he couldn't decide his feelings for (though anger was winning out at the moment), and he nearly threw the phone down the hill before remembering that he had no way of procuring another one. "He just... fuck. He told me he loved me, okay? Whatever, it was just a dumb joke, it's not like I give a fuck. What'd yours tell you before he went AWOL?"
Teri hesitated, and her words were almost uncertain when they came. "Do you ever have dreams, Karl? About... someone you've never met, but who you've known your whole life?"
It took a moment for that question to sink in, and when it did, Karl was struck dumb. That was alright, though, because a second later he was struck from behind by a moving projectile, a yowl of triumph echoing as he collapsed forward with a thump. Karl gasped as the wind was knocked out of him, listening to Teri's demands to be informed of what was happening, two clawed hands pressing into the back of his shoulders as something that appeared to be bipedal straddled him.
"Got you, Karkitty!" his assailant crowed, and Karl groaned, hitting his head against the soft earth a few times without looking up. "I bet you were so surpurrised, right?"
"Nell you little psychopath, if you don't get off of me in the next five seconds I will destroy everything that you have ever loved," Karl told her, still speaking into the dirt as he arched his back to try and throw her off, to no avail; she only giggled madly and dug her claws in harder, riding him like the proverbial mechanical bull.
"You wouldn't dare!" she said smugly, and Karl could practically feel her grinning as Teri cackled madly in the background; at least this spectacle should improve her mood, if nothing else. "Anyway, if you do, Earl will be sooooo mad at you when I tell him."
Karl blanched at the thought of that and tensed involuntarily, his back going rigid beneath Nell's slight frame. "Fuck," he muttered, thinking of Earl's three state high school wrestling championship belts and the memory of several gym classes spent spotting him as he did sets of fifty cleans with over two hundred pounds on the bar without even breaking a sweat. Not that he would have hurt Nell, anyway-- she was his friend, and mostly harmless even if she was annoying as all get-out --but if Earl even suspected that he'd looked at her funny, he'd be desperately attempting to set a broken nose with some bark and strips torn off his shirt before he knew it. "Fine," he growled, getting his hands under himself and pushing his shoulders up so that Nell lost her balance and toppled over backwards, squawking as she was taken off guard. "But no more tackling, okay? I have enough problems without deranged, rabid catgirls practicing their hunting techniques on me at all hours."
"Okaaaay," Nell sighed, disappointed, as they both picked themselves up and brushed off their clothing. Now afforded an opportunity to observe her for the first time since entering the game, Karl surreptitiously looked her over. Nell looked fine and in good health for the most part, which wasn't surprising; of all of them, she'd probably started off as the second most prepared for the rigors of the game. She and Earl had grown up in the bad part of town, where weeds choked the streets and sidewalks and thugs pushed crack cocaine in every alley and shadowed place, and they'd both grown tough to deal with it. If you were a girl and wanted to go out at night, particularly, you had to be. It wasn't possible to see given that her olive green, patchwork trench coat covered them well, but her arms were ropey and well muscled, and when her shirt rode up you could see a flash of her well-toned abs-- Nell had a better six pack than most of the guys Karl knew.
"But I have to purractice, you know!" she went on, pouting slightly, pushing her glossy black hair out of her eyes and readjusting the cat-eared hat that she wore perpetually, regardless of the season or whether or not it was upwards of a hundred degrees out. "I'm already getting rusty, and there aren't any more imps to play with!"
"Well, don't practice on Karl," Teri huffed, still grinning. "He's already got his panties in a twist over his little internet boyfriend."
"Goddamn it, can't I tell either of you anything in confidence? And I never said he was my boyfriend, fuck! I don't even like him that way!"
"But you do like him?" Teri asked, raising an eyebrow up over the rim of her sunglasses.
Karl blushed bright red as Nell giggled again, hiding her wide smile behind one gloved "paw". "That wasn't what I meant! I fucking hate that cryptic little sack of shit!"
"Karl is having some romantic difficulties," Teri informed Nell, choosing to ignore Karl's blustering, for which he punished her by snarling, "Well, I'm not the only one. What about yours, huh? Did he finally get tired of his little pet cartoonist?" Scowling, Karl made his voice high and nasty in a pale but obvious imitation of Teri's voice; "Oh, Karl, please hold me while I cry into your shoulder over some asshole I met through the internet. Though I only knew him for but a year, he ripped my bleeding heart from my chest and now how shall I ever live without his diatribes on irony and his shitty comics that don't go anywhere but straight to the loony bin?"
Teri scowled back at him and opened her mouth to retort, but before she could Nell was between them, looking up at Karl with concern. "That's not very nice, Karl!" she protested, socking him lightly in the shoulder; it hurt more than it should have, and Karl saw that her gloves had acquired metal points, the claws he'd felt scratching at his back before. "Teri and TG have a very special relationship that is impawsible for us to understand! It's fate!"
Karl scoffed. "You sound like a goddamn romance novel. All we need are some bodices ripping and Earl to show up with his hair flowing magnificently in the summer breeze and we'll be set. Where the fuck is he, anyway?"
"That's why I need to purractice my pouncing!" Nell said, distracted and looking worried, while Teri glowered at him as though she'd like nothing more than to meticulously take him apart to find the evil that lurked in his soul, polluting him. "And why I came to find you guys, actually!"
"What happened?" Teri demanded, putting her venom aside for a moment and walking over to Nell. Nevertheless, Karl wasn't quite fast enough to leap out of the way of her cane as she passed him, and it smacked into the backs of his thighs with a loud crack and a howl of pain that everyone summarily ignored, save for Nell patting him consolingly on the shoulder.
"I think we should get moving before I tell you," Nell said as Teri hooked her arm around Karl's elbow hard enough to crush it and pulled him fully upright again, close enough that he could feel the malevolence wafting off her in waves. "It's dangerous to stay out in the open for too long!"
"Nell, everywhere is 'in the open'," Karl groused, attempting to inch away from Teri and failing spectacularly.
"Well, okay, but it's still not good to stay in one place! Teri's dragon is purretty conspicuous. I don't want anyone else getting hurt!"
Now Teri managed to look merely concerned again instead of murderous. "What do you mean by that?"
"Don't worry!" Nell said cheerfully, skipping over to Lemonsnout and examining his injured flank. "You won't need to exact any justice, I don't think. They purretty much just tied him up and ran off with him. I think he'll be fine. Say, can your dragon still walk? I bet he'd be tasty grilled with a little barbecue sauce, if we have to put him out of his misery!"
"We're not eating Senator Lemonsnout!"
"I don't know, Teri, he looks hurt pretty bad. Isn't it better than letting him suffer?"
"No one. Is eating. My. Dragon!"
"Wait, wait, wait," Karl demanded, managing to extract himself from Teri's grip at last before she could march over to Nell and give her a piece of her mind in the form of drubbings with the cane. "Hold the phone for one fucking minute. Who took Earl?"
"Oh," Nell sighed, impatient, looking up at Karl with pity, as though that were the stupidest question she'd ever heard. "Why, the centaurs of course!"
---
"So, explain to me how the fuck this happened," Karl said once the matter of the dragon had been settled and Teri was walking a few paces behind them, reins in hand and muttering darkly, as they crossed the plains. "You showed up and found Earl and killed imps for awhile and then...?"
Nell cocked her head to the side, stuffing her hands in the deep pockets of her coat, eyes gazing out at the mountains beyond without really seeing. "I don't know. We stopped to make a fire and cook one of the deer I caught-- there are totally deer here, by the way! Earl alchemized some tortillas and we had venison tacos, it was purretty delicious --and I took a catnap. He was supposed to stand guard, but when the centaurs showed up he was just too overcome by seeing something out of his fantasy movies, I guess, and they took him away!"
Karl frowned. "Why didn't they take you, too?"
"No clue!" Nell informed him happily, skipping up another hillside as Karl struggled to keep up. "Maybe they just weren't interested in adorable kitties."
"Well, that doesn't make any fucking sense. You'd think they'd go for the easy target, wouldn't you? I mean, no offense or anything, but if my choices were between fighting Earl and fighting you, I'd go with the person who couldn't snap my arm like a twig, thanks."
It was at this point that, coming down the other side of the hill again, Karl became aware of a rhythmic pounding noise, like thunder or rocks being shaken in a drum. He paused and it intensified, the ground rolling with it. "Do you guys hear that too?" Teri asked, marching up to stand beside them again as Karl paused, trying to look over the horizon. They were in a valley now, surrounded by shallow hills and undulations of earth, and Karl was suddenly certain that this had been a tactical error of the highest caliber. "I think something's coming."
"You're right," Nell hissed, crouching back, her claws and teeth bared; Karl fancied that if she'd actually been a cat, the blue tail hanging from the back of her coat would have puffed up in alarm. "This is what it sounded like before--"
Then the noise became deafening and drowned out her words as the first shapes began rolling down the hill before them. No less than twenty centaurs, each carrying a spear or bow, barreled towards them, their naked chests gleaming in the sunlight. More came from all sides and Karl pressed in towards Teri and Nell, his heart racing as he raised his hammer, knowing that it would do no good. He moved until he felt his back hit the solid, warm wall of the dragon behind him; Lemonsnout was revitalized now, his serpentine head raised as he screeched, spewing fire that rained down, sparks and embers showering them and falling in Karl's hair where they died inelegant deaths.
The centaurs were not deterred but kept on coming, their lance points down, arrows drawn, and somehow, ridiculously, Karl thought, as he had not for awhile, of the boy in his dreams, the one he would never get to meet. Closing his eyes, Karl wrapped his free arm around Teri's waist, bile rising in his throat. He was just a kid, really, and this wasn't fair. And the thought that ruled his mind was, Will you be waiting for me on the other side, when I die?
He stood that way for a long time, braced for impact, and after awhile Teri rapped his knuckles with her cane, whispering, "Karl. Look." He did, warily, and found that the centaurs had formed a circle around them, standing still and perfect as statues, their spears leveled at the small party of three humans and one dragon.
One centaur broke from the ranks of the herd and stepped forward imperiously. He carried no weapon but a bow slung over his shoulder, strung but not drawn, and he extended a hand towards Karl. "You will come," he said, in a voice as deep as the ocean, that reverberated through Karl's bones and told him that this man spoke the truth, unequivocally. It was not a request, or even a demand. It was a statement, a prophecy that by its definition would be fulfilled.
Karl could do nothing but follow.
---
They rode on the backs of the centaurs, unsteady without saddles, fast over countryside that flattened out completely after a time, passing nothing but grass and rocks and, now and then, a tree. The dragon followed at an awkward and ungainly gallop, barely managing to keep up, doggedly trailing the centaur that Teri rode, never letting her leave its sight. Their journey terminated in a low valley, a depression in the land, where a smattering of tents had been pitched and fires lit. From a distance Karl could hear people talking and laughing, music playing, the rush of hooves stomping over well-trod ground, but they were lead not towards the village center but a bit away to a fenced-in patch and through the gate. Karl got down on shaky legs as the centaur knelt down, and then his mount pushed him towards the center of the holding pen. "Wait," he was commanded, and then they were left alone, more or less.
Nell gave a happy squeal and scrambled off towards the one bit of shade, where Karl saw that Earl sat, cross-legged, a sheen of sweat slicking his bronze skin. He looked up at them at the noise, and did not so much as smile, but when Nell launched herself into his arms and buried her face in the crook of his neck, mock-purring happily, the corner of his mouth twitched up for a fraction of a second. "Are you alright?" Karl called, leaning against a fence post, and Earl nodded, his sunglasses slipping down the bridge of his nose.
"I'm fine. I'm glad that you and Nell are all alright."
Teri frowned again, in his general direction. "So they didn't hurt you? Then what the hell did they want?"
"I've no idea. They refused to speak with me until you arrived." Earl frowned as well, and deeply, carefully returning Nell's persistant embrace. "I believe they wished to use Nell and I as bait to lure you here."
"Well, I guess it fucking worked, then, didn't it?" Karl growled, angry, as Teri set about examining Lemonsnout's wound. It seemed like a bad idea to try and escape, so Karl settled back and decided to check his messages to see if some stupid fuckass had pestered him while he'd been busy. And they had!
But it was the wrong one.
-- timetechGodhead [TG] began trolling abysmalGuardian [AG] at ??:?? ! --
TG: sup fuckstain
AG: OH, SO YOU'LL TALK TO ME NOW BUT NOT TERI? WHAT THE FUCK.
AG: I'D COMMENT ON HOW RUDE AND UTTERLY BATSHIT BAFFLING YOUR ACTIONS ARE BUT I DON'T THINK THAT WOULD GET ME ANYWHERE AT THIS POINT.
AG: SO LET ME JUST BE THE FIRST TO INFORM YOU THAT IF YOU BREAK UP WITH HER AND SHE STARTS CRYING AND NELL HAS TO DEAL WITH IT WHILE I SIT HERE LIKE A LOBOTOMY PATIENT WAITING FOR THE SHITSTORM TO BLOW OVER, I WILL PERSONALLY DECAPITATE YOU AND FEED YOUR ENTRAILS TO THE IMPS.
TG: wait what
TG: i always talk to gc bro what is your problem
TG: our shit is so cash you don't even know
AG: WELL I DO KNOW THAT SHE'S OVER THERE WITH HER MAGICAL FUCKING DRAGON SULKING BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T PESTERED HER BACK IN LIKE TWO HOURS AND I GUESS THAT'S TROUBLING FOR SOME REASON PROBABLY RELATED TO THE FACT THAT THE TWO OF YOU ARE LIKE SIAMESE TWINS JOINED AT THE INTERNET CONNECTION OR SOMETHING.
AG: IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU BROKE UP WITH HER.
AG: WHICH I LEGITIMATELY WOULD NOT GIVE A GODDAMN FUCK ABOUT EXCEPT I NEED EVERYONE TO HAVE ALL OF WHATEVER PATHETIC MENTAL FACULTIES THEY POSSESS ABOUT THEM GOING INTO THE REST OF THIS NIGHTMARE.
TG: uh
TG: the phrase that comes to mind is what the fucking shit are you talking about
FTG: oh my gog is this seriously what i sound like
-- Future timetechGodhead [FTG] began trolling timetechGodhead [TG] and abysmalGuardian [AG] at 00:00 ! --
FTG: wait what am i saying of course it is
FTG: gog forbid i use one nanometer of discretion or fucking judgement
FTG: or you know my brain
TG: what the fuck
FTG: okay you get to shut up now
FTG: mr i am inexplicably forgetting about the existance of weird time shit
FTG: didnt aradia already tell you youre supposed to keep these chats linear
FTG: maybe that came later
FTG: actually yeah no this was the catalyst for that
FTG: because and i repeat you are a fucking moron
TG: no really what the shit are you talking about
FTG: this is why no one respects us and our awesome time powers you realize
FTG: lalonde and megido playing us against both sides like some crazy interstellar version of spy vs spy
FTG: whole universes shattered as collateral damage
FTG: fucking flighty broads always up in our shit like were some redshirt extra
FTG: oh dave died
FTG: thats chill
FTG: just go get another one
FTG: well fuck you
TG: oh fuck are we really doing this thing
TG: this self kismesisitude thing
TG: i am not okay with this
TG: this is the least ironic fucking thing
FTG: bitch who do you think i am
FTG: i am not the karkat
FTG: it is not me
TG: not
TG: okay
TG: with
TG: this
FTG: i think its time for you to fuck off now
FTG: the adults are talking
FTG: or the mildly retarded kid and the hyperdimensional god being are talking
FTG: same difference
-- Future timetechGodhead [FTG] blocked timetechGodhead [TG] ! --
FTG: there
FTG: now that that chucklefuck is gone we can have a real conversation
AG: OH FOR THE LOVE OF SWEET CHRIST ON A CRACKER WHAT THE SHIT JUST HAPPENED.
FTG: doesnt matter
AG: NO, REALLY. EXPLAIN.
FTG: explaining is egberts bag
FTG: anyway i dont have time for this nonsense
FTG: that was a joke by the way
FTG: i could do this all day if i wanted and it wouldnt even count
FTG: you on the other hand need to get your ass in gear
AG: YEAH, PEOPLE KEEP TELLING ME THAT. AND I KEEP TELLING THEM TO FUCK OFF.
AG: WHAT THE FUCK WAS YOUR POINT IN ALL THIS, ANYWAY?
FTG: i dont know
FTG: keeping the timeline stable
FTG: even though it hasnt happened for you yet i was aware that this conversation had to happen at some point
FTG: well not some point
FTG: this point
FTG: precisely
AG: SO YOU'RE, WHAT. THE WHITE KNIGHT OF TIME?
FTG: yeah i used to be
FTG: then i was a butler for awhile
FTG: everything has a different function
FTG: knights are the soliders on the front lines
FTG: butlers and maids serve
FTG: and clean up messes
FTG: messes that no one else is equipped to deal with
AG: SO, OKAY, LET'S PRETEND THIS ISN'T BARKING AT THE MOON LUNACY. WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS?
FTG: youre the heir this time around right
AG: YEAH. HEIR OF BLOOD.
FTG: thats a bad road to walk
FTG: but there are worse paths to follow
FTG: and ill tell you something out of the fucking goodness of my heart
FTG: youre going to do alright
AG: WOW, WAY TO NOT ANSWER A SINGLE FUCKING ONE OF MY QUESTIONS.
FTG: haha
FTG: sorry bro thats how it works
FTG: anyway look i want you to tell tz something
AG: CAN'T YOU JUST FUCKING TELL HER YOURSELF? I DON'T WANT TO COPY-PASTE MY EARLIER COMMENT, BUT IF YOU'RE FROM THE FUTURE YOU CAN PROBABLY REMEMBER HER BEING PRETTY BROKEN UP ABOUT YOUR SUDDEN VOW OF SILENCE.
FTG: yeah i remember
FTG: the past me you were talking to was a trolling asshole
FTG: that was the first time he ever contacted you
FTG: the past me that wont answer tz is busy
AG: YOU MEAN LIKE EGBERT IS? ARE THEY WORKING ON THE SAME PROJECT?
FTG: i cant answer that
FTG: but yeah kind of
FTG: anyway keeping interactions linear is important
AG: SO 'CURRENT' YOU CAN'T TALK TO HER. FINE. WHATEVER. CAN'T YOU YOU?
FTG: i could but then youd be in a doomed timeline
FTG: there are enough of those cropping up already for me to deal with without voluntarily making it worse
FTG: so youre going to help me stabilize a time loop okay
AG: OKAY JESUS WHATEVER.
AG: I JUST WANT TO NOT BE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION ANYMORE. IT'S GIVING ME A HEADACHE.
FTG: message goes like this
FTG: justice will be served
FTG: like you said the universe eats paradoxes for breakfast
FTG: end message
AG: IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN ANYTHING?
FTG: ask her
FTG: she might not tell you
FTG: you dont know who you are yet
AG: AND SHE DOES?
FTG: cant say
FTG: not my business to either
FTG: anyway you have to go
FTG: just tell her
-- Future timetechGodhead [FTG] ceased trolling abysmalGuardian [AG] at 00:00 ! --
Karl closed his phone and looked up at approximately the same time as their small party was approached by a buff palomino centaur, a ceremonial spear slung over his shoulder. "The high one will see you now," he intoned, harsh blue eyes staring into Karl's, severely holding his gaze; eye contact was not broken even as Teri made to slide off the dragon's back. "Not you," he snapped, tossing his head at Karl. "Only this one."
Nell watched him worriedly as he stood on shaking legs and moved towards the centaur, and Teri shrugged at him, settling back again. "Good luck," the catgirl whispered, biting her bottom lip as Earl placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and the centaur draped an arm over Karl's back and ushered him out of the holding pen, towards the circle of small fires. The scent of smoking meat assaulted Karl's senses as he stumbled forward through the tent-filled clearing and out into a grassy patch of emptiness occupied by a small pond with an ancient ash tree growing on its bank. Under the tree an older centaur knelt, his beard combed and braided, his head smooth and bald. As they approached this centaur too met his eye and nodded at the other, who left them, his hooves clomping in the dust as he moved away from them.
Silence reigned for a long moment as Karl listened to the whistle and whisper of the wind through the tree, between its leaves and over its branches, bending and twisting boughs. It was old enough to have several galls, places where the branches had rubbed together enough that they'd fused, and it was weathered and bent, the tips of its lowest leaves brushing against the glassy and mirror-still surface of the pond.
"Welcome, boy," the centaur croaked, patting the expanse of wide, flat rock on which he knelt, beckoning Karl closer; he obeyed unconsciously, legs moving before his brain had a chance to tell them to, enraptured. For an instant, Karl fancied that he could taste magic on the air. "I must thank you for obeying my summons in such a timely manner."
"You kidnapped Earl," Karl growled, sitting cross-legged a few feet from the centaur, arms folded defensively over his chest as he scowled.
"Yes."
Nothing more seemed forthcoming so, puzzled, Karl continued. "Well, what else was I supposed to have done?"
"Gone on without him. One who was concerned with the future of his race would have." The centaur smiled, and his face seemed kindly now, features as weathered as the tree and as craggy as the mountain peaks that ringed his home. "I am glad that you did not. There is much we must discuss." Before Karl could speak again the centaur was leaning towards the pool, scooping up a handful of clear, cold water and bringing it to his lips, drinking it down. "Drink," he commanded, pointing to the water. "It will clear your mind, and prepare you for what is to come."
Suspicious, but mildly thirsty and knowing that the conversation could not advance if he refused point-blank to participate, Karl copied the centaur's movements. Plunging his hands into the water was like sticking them into solid ice, or the heart of a dying star; the sensation was intense and immediate and he cried out despite himself, quickly bringing a handful up to his lips. Most of it ran out his trembling fingers but a few drops rolled down his tongue and that was enough, it seemed, because the centaur appeared satisfied. As Karl balled his hands to fists and shoved them in his lap, desperately trying to warm the numb and tingling skin, he gestured towards the pool again, and asked, "Now, what do you see?"
"Stars," Karl answered instinctively, and it was true-- he did. The sky the pool reflected was not the sky of this place, so clear and blue and full of clouds like puffs of cotton; this sky was dark as ink, and far distant nebulae swirled in its unplumbed depths, points of light hanging inscrutable, uncountable millions of miles away. "But they're the wrong stars." And he frowned, because he hadn't meant to say that, either, even if it was true. "They're--"
"The stars you made, once," the centaur told him, and waved his hand over the pool. The image rippled and when the water was still again, Karl could see that something had changed. "And now?"
Karl leaned over the edge of the pool, searching for any reflection; now the sky was right, but when he looked down at himself he was met by the image of a boy of about thirteen, with dorky, square-rimmed glasses and ugly buck teeth that jutted out over his bottom lip. The boy was smiling. "I don't know," Karl whispered, suddenly entranced. There was something so familiar about this boy, something that he couldn't put his finger on that made his heart pound thick and heavy and skip a beat, that filled his brain with unpleasant fog and made something prick at the corners of his eyes, which was stupid.
"Once this was Mimir's well," the centaur said, but Karl could barely hear him, still enthralled by the image reflected. "It has always existed, much as Skaia has always existed. It is amazing how humans know of these things instinctively; the other cultures to have graced our fair and flighty universe over the eons have as well, even if they did not put words to it."
"What is it?" Karl asked, his voice coming out fierce and almost desperate. "What is this I'm seeing?"
The centaur went on as though he had never spoken. "In the oldest of the myths, three women sat by its side, guarding it, spinning their tales and their thread, speaking the names of men not yet born. Now there is none but me and my people, who have waited for this day. The well is important, but not so important as the man whose image is reflected in it, for that shall show his heart."
"I didn't ask that," Karl growled, suddenly infuriated, and whipped his head up to glare at the centaur again. "I asked what it was, goddamn it! What are you showing me? What fresh torture is this?"
"The Mimir well shows both fate and memory," the centaur told him softly, frowning slightly as he reached out to touch Karl's shoulder; Karl flinched back at the touch of the rough hand, but did not move back, instead staring sullenly up at the beast. "What you are seeing may well be both."
Now Karl closed his eyes, and everything in the world narrowed to the small warmth and weight on his shoulder. "Who are you?" he asked, compelled.
"My name is Aurthour," came the reply. "And I must again thank you properly for coming to save my son."
==>
What I'm saying here is that I hope future plot developments make you happy, Eridan-loving anon, if you are even still around.
Also in my headcanon human!Nepeta is Hispanic and human!Equius is of Hispanic and Native American descent. I am not entirely sure how this happened.
<==
~~~
Today you will kill him. Today is the day. You had hope for awhile that somehow, some way, you would be allowed to spare him, that he would come to his senses, that this session would end in anything but bloodshed.
Given your track record, you really should have known better.
Grimly, you heft the sickle and step forward as lightning cracks overhead. The Denizen is dead, the Black Queen fallen, and all he can think on is his loss, the aching hole in his heart. And the worst part is that you understand, you really do. You understand about heartache and missing those who are gone, of yearning for something you know you will never touch again, some secret hidden bliss that will elude you for the rest of your days. But you also understand about fate, now, and destiny, and hate and love and revenge, and the voices in your head are screaming that there must be an end to this. The voices are few, yet, but there will be more next time, and more bodies, and their blood will all be on your hands.
Another figure approaches as you prepare to mount the staircase, to travel through the next and final gate, where you will face your foe. Moirail, once. Friend, confidant, lover. You need to separate these things from the truth, which is that everything will shatter into pain and nothingness if you do not do this. (You think of John, and the world he will never see, and the blood boils in your veins.) The man wears a cape in deep purple to match his blood, and gaudy rings, and you sneer at him, once disdainful backward glance, devoid of hate. All your ichor belongs to another, now.
"I want to help, Kar," he tells you in a tone that very clearly means he will help whether you like it or not, and you show him your teeth again, unimpressed.
"Give me one good reason I should let you have a second chance, fuckass," you snarl, brows drawn together in an angry scowl as you tighten your grip over the handle of the sickle. Your hands are calloused, skin thick and rough from years of wielding the weapon, but it still feels odd and uncomfortable in your hand, unnatural in a way that confounds you. "You were supposed to watch him, and you fucked up, so now I have to clean up your goddamn mess. Do you think this is fun for me? It's not. But I'm the leader, and I have to protect them, and you, and I can do that without the assistance of a grubfucking moron who still thinks magic isn't real."
The Prince shakes his head at you ruefully, frowning, his shredded scarf flying in tatters in the sudden wind. A storm is coming, stirring the sea. "He's my kismesis. It's none of your business."
"And you are the proud owner of a delusional, diseased thinkpan so rotted by loneliness that you actually think he'd touch you if you paid him," you snap, and take another step, turning away from him.
It is at this point that you feel the tip of a wand digging into your back, just between your shoulderblades, and you know that it is over. "Please," he says, and what gets you is that even though he could murder you where you stand right now and no one would know, even though he holds the power here, his voice is a little broken, a little pleading, because what he wants is acceptance, and you were once his friend. "One more chance, Kar. That's all I want. This time I can kill him, I know I can. And if I fail, you'll be right there."
You take a deep breath and close your eyes, remembering. You remember the blood, and the pain, and glassy eyes and a failed machine and more death and more blood and back and back into someone else's memories, of someplace cold and sterile and a hatred scorned and so many things, and you cannot deny him, because the voices are still whispering, It's over. And you know that it is. One day, you will have your revenge, and it will be sweet. For now, you will let Eridan have his turn.
"Fine," you say, turning back to him and affixing your most grimly terrifying look to your features, "but... fuck. If you fuck this up, I'll hit you so far into next week you'll be coughing up Tuesday."
He grins, and a shiver would run down your spine if you weren't already scared shitless of what the future holds. "I think I can live with that."
---
AA: did you deliver it then?
TG: yeah and good fucking riddance to it
TG: thing was damn freaky
TG: some serious telltale heart bullshit up in there
TG: and i still have no idea what the hell she even wanted it for
AA: i wouldnt worry too much about it dave
AA: youll benefit in the end
TG: whatever
TG: i dont understand why every conversation we have has to consist entirely of cagey bullshit
TG: time bros before hos man
AA: its just how it works im afraid
AA: if i tell you whats coming you wont do it!
TG: thats fucking retarded of course i will
TG: i know what happens when you ignore important shit like that
AA: its not that i dont trust you
AA: but no you wouldnt
AA: i must confess that this scenario is one ive never seen before given the singular nature of this session
AA: but thats why we need to remove all variables
AA: everything has to go according to plan
TG: why do i feel like this is some serious fucking foreshadowing youre throwing down on me here
TG: like the gogdamned dramatic thunderstorm on the horizon
TG: or someone saying this cant get worse
TG: fuck dude batten the hatches
TG: category five shitstorm coming in from the west
AA: you just have to be calm dave
AA: theres a reward for you at the end of it
AA: something youve always wanted
AA: for now just follow my instructions and everything will be fine
AA: probably
TG: fuck alright
TG: what do you need now
TG: if you mention anything about organ trafficking again i will flip my shit so hard ill do cartwheels right off the fucking astral plane
TG: i will fly so far off the handle theyll be able to see me clear on the other end of paradox space
AA: haha no!
AA: this is something youll want to do
AA: i need you to keep contacting terezi
TG: yeah not like thats any huge damn hardship except for the part where shes crazy and lalonde is all over me to help with her bullshit project and i dont have a fucking second to myself
TG: but why do you care now that i woke her up
TG: or is that another one of those mysteries of the universe my body isnt ready for
AA: i can no longer interact directly with this session
AA: not until the time is right as it were
AA: and while your cohorts are awake as well you are the best and most stable choice of a permanent envoy
AA: john at least is imminently clueless and must by necessity remain that way
TG: yeah hes a little derp even with fangs and a spade on his shirtsleeves
AA: but so are you dave!
TG: what a derp
TG: i take offense to that
AA: no clueless
AA: but thats okay
AA: to tell the truth none of us really know all of whats happening i think
AA: we all have different pieces but the puzzle wont be complete until skaia
TG: what are you up to anyway
AA: starting some sick fires
TG: haha really
AA: literally
---
The mighty huntress stalks her purrey...
Karl wasn't immediately aware of regaining consciousness, only that at some point it had happened, and now he was standing in a field in what appeared to be a mountain valley, cool wind ruffling his hair and playing across his face. Mountains surrounded them on all sides, sometimes far off by the horizon and sometimes within comfortable walking distance, corralling them into an area that looked about a hundred miles square, maybe more or less. They stood on a hill, one of many, with a few trees here and there, surveying a land that sloped downward, the carpet of long, swaying grass endless and unbroken. Once, when Karl had been small, his father had taken a 'business trip' to Montana and sent him back a postcard-- it had looked uncannily like this.
Teri was still with him, as was her dragon, but there was something wrong with the both of them, it seemed; Teri's normal, semi-permanent grin had been replaced by a slight frown as she stood by her steed's side and stroked its neck. The dragon's scales seemed dull, no longer glimmering cheerfully in the sunlight, the color of burnished brass instead of gold, and when it exhaled a puff of ash fell to the four winds, scattering.
"Nell's supposed to be here, huh?" Karl asked after a moment, kicking awkwardly at a stray rock and watching it bounce and skitter down the hill, transfixed and wanting to avoid meeting the condemning glare of Teri's scarlet glasses. His human companion shrugged, noncommittal.
"That's what she said. I don't think she would have gone on without us."
"You sure about that?"
Teri frowned harder, sparing him a sightless glance over her shoulder. "No. Maybe you'd better check." Karl pulled up pesterchum and his expression darkened, some deep and instinctive sense of foreboding settling in his chest as he perused his chumroll, fingers slipping clumsily over the touch screen.
"She's not online," he said, and his voice sounded weak even to him. "Neither is Earl."
"And Daevid isn't answering me either," she told him, a twinge of frustration marring her otherwise flat and careless tone. Karl looked up, and saw that she'd moved away from the dragon, standing with arms akimbo as the wind blew through her short hair, fanning it out behind her and catching on her clothes. Karl had always found it difficult to judge her thoughts and emotions, even before she'd gone blind and the glasses had hidden that particular window to her soul from him forever, but now it was nigh on impossible except when she was particularly perturbed. Nevertheless, it seemed painfully obvious to him that she was upset, from the firm line her mouth had formed, lips persed, to the slight crease in her forehead.
"Is that bad?" he drawled, something deep and instinctive sparking in him. Of course if Teri was upset it would be that smug bastard's fault.
"It's... unusual," she told him, and turned away, the dragon wrapping its tail around her legs and drawing her in again, giving Karl a look that could only be described as 'disgusted'. Karl stuck his tongue out at it and went back to examining his phone, pretending not to listen as Teri went on. "I mean, how would you feel if yours just suddenly started ignoring you? They talk about fate and destiny and all of it's bullshit, really." Now she sounded disgusted, too. "They start showing you things and then you wake up and you can't tell what's real anymore and they don't even have the decency to stick around and explain."
Karl, only half paying attention, shrugged. "What do you mean if he was ignoring me?"
There was the rustle of clothing from behind him, and though Karl refused to look, he knew that Teri was staring at him again-- or at least pointing those sightless, intense eyes in his direction. "Come again?"
"You mean Egbert, right? Yeah. I tell you what, I've had fucking enough of asshole trolls and their emotionally manipulative fuckwittery. All of them can just go and have a little orgy by themselves if they want to, for all I care." By the end of this declaration Karl was snarling and mashing buttons harshly, rage and humiliation filling him. It was hard to know what to believe anymore, with Egbert telling him things and then refusing to talk about them, and the worst part was that Karl cared. He cared a lot. He didn't know the how or why of it, but from the moment SBURB had taken him, he'd felt a pull towards something he couldn't explain, something far off and distant that wanted him, waited for him, and he hadn't been able to touch it until Jawwhn had told him that he loved him. Facetious or not, that conversation had wormed its way into Karl's brain and refused to leave, and now the thought that it had been just a joke was...
Karl didn't know what it was, because surely he wasn't a homosexual and surely he did not return such feelings, could not return them. But the idea of such a slight, of being so repulsive a failure that even internet trolls mocked him with it, was enough to make him flush angrily.
But Teri wasn't having any of it. "What did he tell you?" she asked, voice suddenly soft and as deadly serious as a knife sliding against his throat. "Karl, what happened?"
"Nothing happened," Karl spat, cursing as he hit the wrong button and the chat window Egbert had initiated popped up; there was his own familiar steel gray text, and the electric blue of the man he couldn't decide his feelings for (though anger was winning out at the moment), and he nearly threw the phone down the hill before remembering that he had no way of procuring another one. "He just... fuck. He told me he loved me, okay? Whatever, it was just a dumb joke, it's not like I give a fuck. What'd yours tell you before he went AWOL?"
Teri hesitated, and her words were almost uncertain when they came. "Do you ever have dreams, Karl? About... someone you've never met, but who you've known your whole life?"
It took a moment for that question to sink in, and when it did, Karl was struck dumb. That was alright, though, because a second later he was struck from behind by a moving projectile, a yowl of triumph echoing as he collapsed forward with a thump. Karl gasped as the wind was knocked out of him, listening to Teri's demands to be informed of what was happening, two clawed hands pressing into the back of his shoulders as something that appeared to be bipedal straddled him.
"Got you, Karkitty!" his assailant crowed, and Karl groaned, hitting his head against the soft earth a few times without looking up. "I bet you were so surpurrised, right?"
"Nell you little psychopath, if you don't get off of me in the next five seconds I will destroy everything that you have ever loved," Karl told her, still speaking into the dirt as he arched his back to try and throw her off, to no avail; she only giggled madly and dug her claws in harder, riding him like the proverbial mechanical bull.
"You wouldn't dare!" she said smugly, and Karl could practically feel her grinning as Teri cackled madly in the background; at least this spectacle should improve her mood, if nothing else. "Anyway, if you do, Earl will be sooooo mad at you when I tell him."
Karl blanched at the thought of that and tensed involuntarily, his back going rigid beneath Nell's slight frame. "Fuck," he muttered, thinking of Earl's three state high school wrestling championship belts and the memory of several gym classes spent spotting him as he did sets of fifty cleans with over two hundred pounds on the bar without even breaking a sweat. Not that he would have hurt Nell, anyway-- she was his friend, and mostly harmless even if she was annoying as all get-out --but if Earl even suspected that he'd looked at her funny, he'd be desperately attempting to set a broken nose with some bark and strips torn off his shirt before he knew it. "Fine," he growled, getting his hands under himself and pushing his shoulders up so that Nell lost her balance and toppled over backwards, squawking as she was taken off guard. "But no more tackling, okay? I have enough problems without deranged, rabid catgirls practicing their hunting techniques on me at all hours."
"Okaaaay," Nell sighed, disappointed, as they both picked themselves up and brushed off their clothing. Now afforded an opportunity to observe her for the first time since entering the game, Karl surreptitiously looked her over. Nell looked fine and in good health for the most part, which wasn't surprising; of all of them, she'd probably started off as the second most prepared for the rigors of the game. She and Earl had grown up in the bad part of town, where weeds choked the streets and sidewalks and thugs pushed crack cocaine in every alley and shadowed place, and they'd both grown tough to deal with it. If you were a girl and wanted to go out at night, particularly, you had to be. It wasn't possible to see given that her olive green, patchwork trench coat covered them well, but her arms were ropey and well muscled, and when her shirt rode up you could see a flash of her well-toned abs-- Nell had a better six pack than most of the guys Karl knew.
"But I have to purractice, you know!" she went on, pouting slightly, pushing her glossy black hair out of her eyes and readjusting the cat-eared hat that she wore perpetually, regardless of the season or whether or not it was upwards of a hundred degrees out. "I'm already getting rusty, and there aren't any more imps to play with!"
"Well, don't practice on Karl," Teri huffed, still grinning. "He's already got his panties in a twist over his little internet boyfriend."
"Goddamn it, can't I tell either of you anything in confidence? And I never said he was my boyfriend, fuck! I don't even like him that way!"
"But you do like him?" Teri asked, raising an eyebrow up over the rim of her sunglasses.
Karl blushed bright red as Nell giggled again, hiding her wide smile behind one gloved "paw". "That wasn't what I meant! I fucking hate that cryptic little sack of shit!"
"Karl is having some romantic difficulties," Teri informed Nell, choosing to ignore Karl's blustering, for which he punished her by snarling, "Well, I'm not the only one. What about yours, huh? Did he finally get tired of his little pet cartoonist?" Scowling, Karl made his voice high and nasty in a pale but obvious imitation of Teri's voice; "Oh, Karl, please hold me while I cry into your shoulder over some asshole I met through the internet. Though I only knew him for but a year, he ripped my bleeding heart from my chest and now how shall I ever live without his diatribes on irony and his shitty comics that don't go anywhere but straight to the loony bin?"
Teri scowled back at him and opened her mouth to retort, but before she could Nell was between them, looking up at Karl with concern. "That's not very nice, Karl!" she protested, socking him lightly in the shoulder; it hurt more than it should have, and Karl saw that her gloves had acquired metal points, the claws he'd felt scratching at his back before. "Teri and TG have a very special relationship that is impawsible for us to understand! It's fate!"
Karl scoffed. "You sound like a goddamn romance novel. All we need are some bodices ripping and Earl to show up with his hair flowing magnificently in the summer breeze and we'll be set. Where the fuck is he, anyway?"
"That's why I need to purractice my pouncing!" Nell said, distracted and looking worried, while Teri glowered at him as though she'd like nothing more than to meticulously take him apart to find the evil that lurked in his soul, polluting him. "And why I came to find you guys, actually!"
"What happened?" Teri demanded, putting her venom aside for a moment and walking over to Nell. Nevertheless, Karl wasn't quite fast enough to leap out of the way of her cane as she passed him, and it smacked into the backs of his thighs with a loud crack and a howl of pain that everyone summarily ignored, save for Nell patting him consolingly on the shoulder.
"I think we should get moving before I tell you," Nell said as Teri hooked her arm around Karl's elbow hard enough to crush it and pulled him fully upright again, close enough that he could feel the malevolence wafting off her in waves. "It's dangerous to stay out in the open for too long!"
"Nell, everywhere is 'in the open'," Karl groused, attempting to inch away from Teri and failing spectacularly.
"Well, okay, but it's still not good to stay in one place! Teri's dragon is purretty conspicuous. I don't want anyone else getting hurt!"
Now Teri managed to look merely concerned again instead of murderous. "What do you mean by that?"
"Don't worry!" Nell said cheerfully, skipping over to Lemonsnout and examining his injured flank. "You won't need to exact any justice, I don't think. They purretty much just tied him up and ran off with him. I think he'll be fine. Say, can your dragon still walk? I bet he'd be tasty grilled with a little barbecue sauce, if we have to put him out of his misery!"
"We're not eating Senator Lemonsnout!"
"I don't know, Teri, he looks hurt pretty bad. Isn't it better than letting him suffer?"
"No one. Is eating. My. Dragon!"
"Wait, wait, wait," Karl demanded, managing to extract himself from Teri's grip at last before she could march over to Nell and give her a piece of her mind in the form of drubbings with the cane. "Hold the phone for one fucking minute. Who took Earl?"
"Oh," Nell sighed, impatient, looking up at Karl with pity, as though that were the stupidest question she'd ever heard. "Why, the centaurs of course!"
---
"So, explain to me how the fuck this happened," Karl said once the matter of the dragon had been settled and Teri was walking a few paces behind them, reins in hand and muttering darkly, as they crossed the plains. "You showed up and found Earl and killed imps for awhile and then...?"
Nell cocked her head to the side, stuffing her hands in the deep pockets of her coat, eyes gazing out at the mountains beyond without really seeing. "I don't know. We stopped to make a fire and cook one of the deer I caught-- there are totally deer here, by the way! Earl alchemized some tortillas and we had venison tacos, it was purretty delicious --and I took a catnap. He was supposed to stand guard, but when the centaurs showed up he was just too overcome by seeing something out of his fantasy movies, I guess, and they took him away!"
Karl frowned. "Why didn't they take you, too?"
"No clue!" Nell informed him happily, skipping up another hillside as Karl struggled to keep up. "Maybe they just weren't interested in adorable kitties."
"Well, that doesn't make any fucking sense. You'd think they'd go for the easy target, wouldn't you? I mean, no offense or anything, but if my choices were between fighting Earl and fighting you, I'd go with the person who couldn't snap my arm like a twig, thanks."
It was at this point that, coming down the other side of the hill again, Karl became aware of a rhythmic pounding noise, like thunder or rocks being shaken in a drum. He paused and it intensified, the ground rolling with it. "Do you guys hear that too?" Teri asked, marching up to stand beside them again as Karl paused, trying to look over the horizon. They were in a valley now, surrounded by shallow hills and undulations of earth, and Karl was suddenly certain that this had been a tactical error of the highest caliber. "I think something's coming."
"You're right," Nell hissed, crouching back, her claws and teeth bared; Karl fancied that if she'd actually been a cat, the blue tail hanging from the back of her coat would have puffed up in alarm. "This is what it sounded like before--"
Then the noise became deafening and drowned out her words as the first shapes began rolling down the hill before them. No less than twenty centaurs, each carrying a spear or bow, barreled towards them, their naked chests gleaming in the sunlight. More came from all sides and Karl pressed in towards Teri and Nell, his heart racing as he raised his hammer, knowing that it would do no good. He moved until he felt his back hit the solid, warm wall of the dragon behind him; Lemonsnout was revitalized now, his serpentine head raised as he screeched, spewing fire that rained down, sparks and embers showering them and falling in Karl's hair where they died inelegant deaths.
The centaurs were not deterred but kept on coming, their lance points down, arrows drawn, and somehow, ridiculously, Karl thought, as he had not for awhile, of the boy in his dreams, the one he would never get to meet. Closing his eyes, Karl wrapped his free arm around Teri's waist, bile rising in his throat. He was just a kid, really, and this wasn't fair. And the thought that ruled his mind was, Will you be waiting for me on the other side, when I die?
He stood that way for a long time, braced for impact, and after awhile Teri rapped his knuckles with her cane, whispering, "Karl. Look." He did, warily, and found that the centaurs had formed a circle around them, standing still and perfect as statues, their spears leveled at the small party of three humans and one dragon.
One centaur broke from the ranks of the herd and stepped forward imperiously. He carried no weapon but a bow slung over his shoulder, strung but not drawn, and he extended a hand towards Karl. "You will come," he said, in a voice as deep as the ocean, that reverberated through Karl's bones and told him that this man spoke the truth, unequivocally. It was not a request, or even a demand. It was a statement, a prophecy that by its definition would be fulfilled.
Karl could do nothing but follow.
---
They rode on the backs of the centaurs, unsteady without saddles, fast over countryside that flattened out completely after a time, passing nothing but grass and rocks and, now and then, a tree. The dragon followed at an awkward and ungainly gallop, barely managing to keep up, doggedly trailing the centaur that Teri rode, never letting her leave its sight. Their journey terminated in a low valley, a depression in the land, where a smattering of tents had been pitched and fires lit. From a distance Karl could hear people talking and laughing, music playing, the rush of hooves stomping over well-trod ground, but they were lead not towards the village center but a bit away to a fenced-in patch and through the gate. Karl got down on shaky legs as the centaur knelt down, and then his mount pushed him towards the center of the holding pen. "Wait," he was commanded, and then they were left alone, more or less.
Nell gave a happy squeal and scrambled off towards the one bit of shade, where Karl saw that Earl sat, cross-legged, a sheen of sweat slicking his bronze skin. He looked up at them at the noise, and did not so much as smile, but when Nell launched herself into his arms and buried her face in the crook of his neck, mock-purring happily, the corner of his mouth twitched up for a fraction of a second. "Are you alright?" Karl called, leaning against a fence post, and Earl nodded, his sunglasses slipping down the bridge of his nose.
"I'm fine. I'm glad that you and Nell are all alright."
Teri frowned again, in his general direction. "So they didn't hurt you? Then what the hell did they want?"
"I've no idea. They refused to speak with me until you arrived." Earl frowned as well, and deeply, carefully returning Nell's persistant embrace. "I believe they wished to use Nell and I as bait to lure you here."
"Well, I guess it fucking worked, then, didn't it?" Karl growled, angry, as Teri set about examining Lemonsnout's wound. It seemed like a bad idea to try and escape, so Karl settled back and decided to check his messages to see if some stupid fuckass had pestered him while he'd been busy. And they had!
But it was the wrong one.
-- timetechGodhead [TG] began trolling abysmalGuardian [AG] at ??:?? ! --
TG: sup fuckstain
AG: OH, SO YOU'LL TALK TO ME NOW BUT NOT TERI? WHAT THE FUCK.
AG: I'D COMMENT ON HOW RUDE AND UTTERLY BATSHIT BAFFLING YOUR ACTIONS ARE BUT I DON'T THINK THAT WOULD GET ME ANYWHERE AT THIS POINT.
AG: SO LET ME JUST BE THE FIRST TO INFORM YOU THAT IF YOU BREAK UP WITH HER AND SHE STARTS CRYING AND NELL HAS TO DEAL WITH IT WHILE I SIT HERE LIKE A LOBOTOMY PATIENT WAITING FOR THE SHITSTORM TO BLOW OVER, I WILL PERSONALLY DECAPITATE YOU AND FEED YOUR ENTRAILS TO THE IMPS.
TG: wait what
TG: i always talk to gc bro what is your problem
TG: our shit is so cash you don't even know
AG: WELL I DO KNOW THAT SHE'S OVER THERE WITH HER MAGICAL FUCKING DRAGON SULKING BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T PESTERED HER BACK IN LIKE TWO HOURS AND I GUESS THAT'S TROUBLING FOR SOME REASON PROBABLY RELATED TO THE FACT THAT THE TWO OF YOU ARE LIKE SIAMESE TWINS JOINED AT THE INTERNET CONNECTION OR SOMETHING.
AG: IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU BROKE UP WITH HER.
AG: WHICH I LEGITIMATELY WOULD NOT GIVE A GODDAMN FUCK ABOUT EXCEPT I NEED EVERYONE TO HAVE ALL OF WHATEVER PATHETIC MENTAL FACULTIES THEY POSSESS ABOUT THEM GOING INTO THE REST OF THIS NIGHTMARE.
TG: uh
TG: the phrase that comes to mind is what the fucking shit are you talking about
FTG: oh my gog is this seriously what i sound like
-- Future timetechGodhead [FTG] began trolling timetechGodhead [TG] and abysmalGuardian [AG] at 00:00 ! --
FTG: wait what am i saying of course it is
FTG: gog forbid i use one nanometer of discretion or fucking judgement
FTG: or you know my brain
TG: what the fuck
FTG: okay you get to shut up now
FTG: mr i am inexplicably forgetting about the existance of weird time shit
FTG: didnt aradia already tell you youre supposed to keep these chats linear
FTG: maybe that came later
FTG: actually yeah no this was the catalyst for that
FTG: because and i repeat you are a fucking moron
TG: no really what the shit are you talking about
FTG: this is why no one respects us and our awesome time powers you realize
FTG: lalonde and megido playing us against both sides like some crazy interstellar version of spy vs spy
FTG: whole universes shattered as collateral damage
FTG: fucking flighty broads always up in our shit like were some redshirt extra
FTG: oh dave died
FTG: thats chill
FTG: just go get another one
FTG: well fuck you
TG: oh fuck are we really doing this thing
TG: this self kismesisitude thing
TG: i am not okay with this
TG: this is the least ironic fucking thing
FTG: bitch who do you think i am
FTG: i am not the karkat
FTG: it is not me
TG: not
TG: okay
TG: with
TG: this
FTG: i think its time for you to fuck off now
FTG: the adults are talking
FTG: or the mildly retarded kid and the hyperdimensional god being are talking
FTG: same difference
-- Future timetechGodhead [FTG] blocked timetechGodhead [TG] ! --
FTG: there
FTG: now that that chucklefuck is gone we can have a real conversation
AG: OH FOR THE LOVE OF SWEET CHRIST ON A CRACKER WHAT THE SHIT JUST HAPPENED.
FTG: doesnt matter
AG: NO, REALLY. EXPLAIN.
FTG: explaining is egberts bag
FTG: anyway i dont have time for this nonsense
FTG: that was a joke by the way
FTG: i could do this all day if i wanted and it wouldnt even count
FTG: you on the other hand need to get your ass in gear
AG: YEAH, PEOPLE KEEP TELLING ME THAT. AND I KEEP TELLING THEM TO FUCK OFF.
AG: WHAT THE FUCK WAS YOUR POINT IN ALL THIS, ANYWAY?
FTG: i dont know
FTG: keeping the timeline stable
FTG: even though it hasnt happened for you yet i was aware that this conversation had to happen at some point
FTG: well not some point
FTG: this point
FTG: precisely
AG: SO YOU'RE, WHAT. THE WHITE KNIGHT OF TIME?
FTG: yeah i used to be
FTG: then i was a butler for awhile
FTG: everything has a different function
FTG: knights are the soliders on the front lines
FTG: butlers and maids serve
FTG: and clean up messes
FTG: messes that no one else is equipped to deal with
AG: SO, OKAY, LET'S PRETEND THIS ISN'T BARKING AT THE MOON LUNACY. WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS?
FTG: youre the heir this time around right
AG: YEAH. HEIR OF BLOOD.
FTG: thats a bad road to walk
FTG: but there are worse paths to follow
FTG: and ill tell you something out of the fucking goodness of my heart
FTG: youre going to do alright
AG: WOW, WAY TO NOT ANSWER A SINGLE FUCKING ONE OF MY QUESTIONS.
FTG: haha
FTG: sorry bro thats how it works
FTG: anyway look i want you to tell tz something
AG: CAN'T YOU JUST FUCKING TELL HER YOURSELF? I DON'T WANT TO COPY-PASTE MY EARLIER COMMENT, BUT IF YOU'RE FROM THE FUTURE YOU CAN PROBABLY REMEMBER HER BEING PRETTY BROKEN UP ABOUT YOUR SUDDEN VOW OF SILENCE.
FTG: yeah i remember
FTG: the past me you were talking to was a trolling asshole
FTG: that was the first time he ever contacted you
FTG: the past me that wont answer tz is busy
AG: YOU MEAN LIKE EGBERT IS? ARE THEY WORKING ON THE SAME PROJECT?
FTG: i cant answer that
FTG: but yeah kind of
FTG: anyway keeping interactions linear is important
AG: SO 'CURRENT' YOU CAN'T TALK TO HER. FINE. WHATEVER. CAN'T YOU YOU?
FTG: i could but then youd be in a doomed timeline
FTG: there are enough of those cropping up already for me to deal with without voluntarily making it worse
FTG: so youre going to help me stabilize a time loop okay
AG: OKAY JESUS WHATEVER.
AG: I JUST WANT TO NOT BE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION ANYMORE. IT'S GIVING ME A HEADACHE.
FTG: message goes like this
FTG: justice will be served
FTG: like you said the universe eats paradoxes for breakfast
FTG: end message
AG: IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN ANYTHING?
FTG: ask her
FTG: she might not tell you
FTG: you dont know who you are yet
AG: AND SHE DOES?
FTG: cant say
FTG: not my business to either
FTG: anyway you have to go
FTG: just tell her
-- Future timetechGodhead [FTG] ceased trolling abysmalGuardian [AG] at 00:00 ! --
Karl closed his phone and looked up at approximately the same time as their small party was approached by a buff palomino centaur, a ceremonial spear slung over his shoulder. "The high one will see you now," he intoned, harsh blue eyes staring into Karl's, severely holding his gaze; eye contact was not broken even as Teri made to slide off the dragon's back. "Not you," he snapped, tossing his head at Karl. "Only this one."
Nell watched him worriedly as he stood on shaking legs and moved towards the centaur, and Teri shrugged at him, settling back again. "Good luck," the catgirl whispered, biting her bottom lip as Earl placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and the centaur draped an arm over Karl's back and ushered him out of the holding pen, towards the circle of small fires. The scent of smoking meat assaulted Karl's senses as he stumbled forward through the tent-filled clearing and out into a grassy patch of emptiness occupied by a small pond with an ancient ash tree growing on its bank. Under the tree an older centaur knelt, his beard combed and braided, his head smooth and bald. As they approached this centaur too met his eye and nodded at the other, who left them, his hooves clomping in the dust as he moved away from them.
Silence reigned for a long moment as Karl listened to the whistle and whisper of the wind through the tree, between its leaves and over its branches, bending and twisting boughs. It was old enough to have several galls, places where the branches had rubbed together enough that they'd fused, and it was weathered and bent, the tips of its lowest leaves brushing against the glassy and mirror-still surface of the pond.
"Welcome, boy," the centaur croaked, patting the expanse of wide, flat rock on which he knelt, beckoning Karl closer; he obeyed unconsciously, legs moving before his brain had a chance to tell them to, enraptured. For an instant, Karl fancied that he could taste magic on the air. "I must thank you for obeying my summons in such a timely manner."
"You kidnapped Earl," Karl growled, sitting cross-legged a few feet from the centaur, arms folded defensively over his chest as he scowled.
"Yes."
Nothing more seemed forthcoming so, puzzled, Karl continued. "Well, what else was I supposed to have done?"
"Gone on without him. One who was concerned with the future of his race would have." The centaur smiled, and his face seemed kindly now, features as weathered as the tree and as craggy as the mountain peaks that ringed his home. "I am glad that you did not. There is much we must discuss." Before Karl could speak again the centaur was leaning towards the pool, scooping up a handful of clear, cold water and bringing it to his lips, drinking it down. "Drink," he commanded, pointing to the water. "It will clear your mind, and prepare you for what is to come."
Suspicious, but mildly thirsty and knowing that the conversation could not advance if he refused point-blank to participate, Karl copied the centaur's movements. Plunging his hands into the water was like sticking them into solid ice, or the heart of a dying star; the sensation was intense and immediate and he cried out despite himself, quickly bringing a handful up to his lips. Most of it ran out his trembling fingers but a few drops rolled down his tongue and that was enough, it seemed, because the centaur appeared satisfied. As Karl balled his hands to fists and shoved them in his lap, desperately trying to warm the numb and tingling skin, he gestured towards the pool again, and asked, "Now, what do you see?"
"Stars," Karl answered instinctively, and it was true-- he did. The sky the pool reflected was not the sky of this place, so clear and blue and full of clouds like puffs of cotton; this sky was dark as ink, and far distant nebulae swirled in its unplumbed depths, points of light hanging inscrutable, uncountable millions of miles away. "But they're the wrong stars." And he frowned, because he hadn't meant to say that, either, even if it was true. "They're--"
"The stars you made, once," the centaur told him, and waved his hand over the pool. The image rippled and when the water was still again, Karl could see that something had changed. "And now?"
Karl leaned over the edge of the pool, searching for any reflection; now the sky was right, but when he looked down at himself he was met by the image of a boy of about thirteen, with dorky, square-rimmed glasses and ugly buck teeth that jutted out over his bottom lip. The boy was smiling. "I don't know," Karl whispered, suddenly entranced. There was something so familiar about this boy, something that he couldn't put his finger on that made his heart pound thick and heavy and skip a beat, that filled his brain with unpleasant fog and made something prick at the corners of his eyes, which was stupid.
"Once this was Mimir's well," the centaur said, but Karl could barely hear him, still enthralled by the image reflected. "It has always existed, much as Skaia has always existed. It is amazing how humans know of these things instinctively; the other cultures to have graced our fair and flighty universe over the eons have as well, even if they did not put words to it."
"What is it?" Karl asked, his voice coming out fierce and almost desperate. "What is this I'm seeing?"
The centaur went on as though he had never spoken. "In the oldest of the myths, three women sat by its side, guarding it, spinning their tales and their thread, speaking the names of men not yet born. Now there is none but me and my people, who have waited for this day. The well is important, but not so important as the man whose image is reflected in it, for that shall show his heart."
"I didn't ask that," Karl growled, suddenly infuriated, and whipped his head up to glare at the centaur again. "I asked what it was, goddamn it! What are you showing me? What fresh torture is this?"
"The Mimir well shows both fate and memory," the centaur told him softly, frowning slightly as he reached out to touch Karl's shoulder; Karl flinched back at the touch of the rough hand, but did not move back, instead staring sullenly up at the beast. "What you are seeing may well be both."
Now Karl closed his eyes, and everything in the world narrowed to the small warmth and weight on his shoulder. "Who are you?" he asked, compelled.
"My name is Aurthour," came the reply. "And I must again thank you properly for coming to save my son."
==>