Habitual happenings...
So I figured that I should put this in here now that it is on my mind, so here goes...
I realized today, while I was walking back from class, that I really shouldn't be in any long-term relationships. But this is because of that thing with how my mind changes every three months or so. But I also realized it wasn't because of the person, it was because of how I like to meet new people. I don't know if this will react and cause problems with Kelly, but we will see. I don't know if I should tell her this one, but it would be the first time I have ever held anything back.
So I like to meet new people, right? Well there are a lot that I think are good looking and fun. But I'm not too sure if they are the type of people I would want to end up with, ergo would not want them with me in a long term relationship. So I kinda regret getting into long-term relationships and not having fun in relationships with other people every now and then... Why do I realize this now? For some reason it's kicking me. The only problem that I can really foresee is that the relationship in which I am currently involved is awesome and I don't think it could get any better - apart from new things happening every now and then. But you see, we started kinda doing things at the end of August or beginning of September... So then it is December and it happened - during finals week. Now it is the end of February and it is happening again. It falls on the three month cycle and I don't know what to expect. If I didn't like her so much and think it would work out in the end so amazing, I wouldn't be sitting at this problem, tell her what was up and go from there. But I like where I am, but I miss meeting so many new people and getting to know them. So maybe it's not exactly dating other people, but getting to meet a bunch of new people and get to know them better. However, because I am in a relationship, that is where my free time goes (and even my not free time, as I study with her around...). So that might be the problem, I need to spend time with others. How do I tell her that, should I let her read this?
Life is about experiences, right? So we will start from there. I have had a few experiences, and I liked them. So now if we go into how meeting people is experiencing new things. If you don't meet new people, you don't have any more room for new experiences... Therefore you aren't living. So that is a logical-philosophical thought line. In all honesty, you do have new experiences. So it's not true. You still meet people, but don't always get to meet as many.
So if I tell her this it will hurt. I know it will come up in a conversation - a conversation/discussion for which I do not have time at the moment. However, if I don't tell her then there will be other problems that may arise - and she will notice. I won't be able to talk the same because something is on my mind. (However that is not always the case when I don't talk like normal...)
Another thing I love to do is tell stories. However, I can't tell those if there is nobody around to tell. The same stories over and over make things boring, and make people possibly want to habitually avoid or ignore the person with the same stories.
So here is my conclusion. Stay with her. Spend less time with her and more with other friends - possibly even new ones. But I want her input on that, but I can't talk about it until this weekend.
I don't know where I am going with this. I don't even know if it makes sense. However, I do know that it was a thought process in some form. Take it as you will, whether you are interested or not. I just know now that I can get to my homework now that things are off of my mind.
I realized today, while I was walking back from class, that I really shouldn't be in any long-term relationships. But this is because of that thing with how my mind changes every three months or so. But I also realized it wasn't because of the person, it was because of how I like to meet new people. I don't know if this will react and cause problems with Kelly, but we will see. I don't know if I should tell her this one, but it would be the first time I have ever held anything back.
So I like to meet new people, right? Well there are a lot that I think are good looking and fun. But I'm not too sure if they are the type of people I would want to end up with, ergo would not want them with me in a long term relationship. So I kinda regret getting into long-term relationships and not having fun in relationships with other people every now and then... Why do I realize this now? For some reason it's kicking me. The only problem that I can really foresee is that the relationship in which I am currently involved is awesome and I don't think it could get any better - apart from new things happening every now and then. But you see, we started kinda doing things at the end of August or beginning of September... So then it is December and it happened - during finals week. Now it is the end of February and it is happening again. It falls on the three month cycle and I don't know what to expect. If I didn't like her so much and think it would work out in the end so amazing, I wouldn't be sitting at this problem, tell her what was up and go from there. But I like where I am, but I miss meeting so many new people and getting to know them. So maybe it's not exactly dating other people, but getting to meet a bunch of new people and get to know them better. However, because I am in a relationship, that is where my free time goes (and even my not free time, as I study with her around...). So that might be the problem, I need to spend time with others. How do I tell her that, should I let her read this?
Life is about experiences, right? So we will start from there. I have had a few experiences, and I liked them. So now if we go into how meeting people is experiencing new things. If you don't meet new people, you don't have any more room for new experiences... Therefore you aren't living. So that is a logical-philosophical thought line. In all honesty, you do have new experiences. So it's not true. You still meet people, but don't always get to meet as many.
So if I tell her this it will hurt. I know it will come up in a conversation - a conversation/discussion for which I do not have time at the moment. However, if I don't tell her then there will be other problems that may arise - and she will notice. I won't be able to talk the same because something is on my mind. (However that is not always the case when I don't talk like normal...)
Another thing I love to do is tell stories. However, I can't tell those if there is nobody around to tell. The same stories over and over make things boring, and make people possibly want to habitually avoid or ignore the person with the same stories.
So here is my conclusion. Stay with her. Spend less time with her and more with other friends - possibly even new ones. But I want her input on that, but I can't talk about it until this weekend.
I don't know where I am going with this. I don't even know if it makes sense. However, I do know that it was a thought process in some form. Take it as you will, whether you are interested or not. I just know now that I can get to my homework now that things are off of my mind.