Fic: If I Just Keep Breathing

[halfeatenmoon]

Occasionally I post things instead of just writing and then forgetting about them.

Title: If I Just Keep Breathing
Fandom: Bandom (MCR)
Pairing/Characters: Bob gen
Rating/warnings Mature, HUGE FREAKING WARNING for eating disorders, including disordered thoughts and a description of purging
Summary: It took Bob most of his life to find a way to

Comments

[gala_apples]

Right now my head's just going OMG OMG OMG OMG. I feel like this is not a good enough comment. But I'm not sure how coherent I can be.

I think the thing I love about it is that it's so slippery. Bob doesn't seem like he's getting worse, he's just in control of himself. It's not like he's puking, he's smarter than that. And when Frank doesn't figure it out you're like THANK GOD and then you're like 'wait...why am I happy for Bob this ISN'T A GOOD THING'. And his advice to Gerard that sort of snaps him out of it, because passing it on scares him more than dying with it.

This is how this issue is meant to be treated. And when I read it again, because I will, I will come up with something smarter to say.

[halfeatenmoon]

Yes to all of that! I really wanted it to be gradual, and to get into those contradictory feelings of not wanting anyone to find out, but wishing someone would save you, too. And your reaction to the scene with Frank is like the best thing someone could possibly say to me about this fic. I mean, it is horrible of me as a writer to make a reader feel that, I guess, but the fact that you did is like YES, THAT'S EXACTLY IT.

And yeah, this IS how I'd like to see the issue treated. Bob was never going to be saved by the power of true love and healing cock. You can read it as platonic Bob/Brian, because part of it is about how much Brian loves Bob. Which is a whole lot. And Brian really wants to be able to cure Bob by just loving him so hard. In the end, I guess, he kind of does, but Bob had to realise it for himself.

[mourning_night]

This is so beautifully done. I'm not quite sure what to say. I really like how it's not really a decision on Bob's part just a very gradual slide into ED. The scene with Gerard was excellent with its layers of meaning.

[halfeatenmoon]

Haha, I completely get how it's a hard story to talk about. Thanks for taking the time to read it and leave a comment, though! I'm such a fandom recluse that I don't usually get a lot of comments, so it always means a lot when I do.

[halfeatenmoon]

You are too kind to me, Lex. IT IS A WEIRD FIC AND IT IS HARD TO TALK ABOUT. But I'm a bid proud of it and very proud that you saw fit to leave it all the hearts ever.

<3

[chuckaloonie]

Meg, oh my God Meg, this was absolutely GORGEOUS. Seriously, this isn't what I was expecting AT ALL

[chuckaloonie]

*living on top of each other, not leaving. Sorry

[halfeatenmoon]

Wow, I'm sorry it took me SO LONG to reply to this. You leave the best comments and they deserve replies