thoughts

[halflife]

Do people subconsciously use relationships for something that they currently need? Does everybody do this in every relationship they have? Do you do this? Would you admit it? Should you have to question your feelings and motives this much? If people do have motives like this in every relationship, what are your motives? Do you ever wonder why you

Comments

[masteryyy]

Getting EQUAL gratification from relationships is what makes them work and worth-while. I think that the benefits of relationships are self-assurance through peer-acceptance and association, and just people to hang out/have fun with. I think that problems arise when these things are selfishly taken for granted or abused, as in, lack of appreciation, when people turn irrelevant things into problems, and only communicating with said "friend" to get something from them, for example, rides (calling friend who has a car to invite them to a party so that they will drive you to a party), money, and other external benefits.
Also, I think that generally you should expect to receive what you put into a relationship. The effort you make should probably be reciprocated by the person.

OBVIOUSLY there are tonnes of variables, not to mention that every person and every relationship is different. I am not claiming to be a perfect person who maintains perfect relationships.. this is just generally what I believe.

[masteryyy]

hahaaah, longest comment ever.

[lykeomgzwtf]

But a very well stated comment.

[raincity_]

Firstly,
well written masteryyy.
Secondly, I think about that sort of stuff all the time..I think that people use relationships for something that they unconciously need. Humans are, after all, social creatures. This doesn't have to be necessarily a tangible need however, and I think relationships in which the need is intangible (ie. emotional, spiritual) can be deeper. I think it is important to question your personal motives for all your actions and decisions to increase your potential for self-fufillment. This includes your reasons for being in a relationship with someone, and also your actions while within this relationship.
I disagree that all relationships revolve around what the other person gives to you. In an ideal relationship it is about what you can give to the other person. Not all relationships are ideal however, and problems arise when one person is thinking about the other person, while that person is thinking about themselves.

[halflife]

I was thinking more along the lines of subconscious needs, like you said, the intangible ones.
Thanks guys, for your imput, I have been thinking about this a lot lately.