I'll Come Running If You Call My Name (Jinhwan/Junhwe)
I'll Come Running If You Call My Name
Jinhwan/Junhwe, mentions of Bobby/Donghyuk (if you squint) | PG-13 | 8.9K words.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine AU, in which Junhwe finds out he might have feelings for his partner, an assigned undercover case ends up testing said feelings and unsurprisingly, the entire squad is incredibly unhelpful.
a/n: Heavily inspired by an episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Written for greycheonsa for exchangekon! This is my first time writing iKON ever???? And I managed to barf out this 8.9K monstrosity that took me a lot longer to write than I had anticipated and I also have mixed feelings about it, because the ending is a little rushed, but enjoy anyway ;A;
When Hanbin assigns them to do a stakeout on a notorious Italian mafia, he forgets to mention that it’s not so much a notorious Italian mafia under surveillance, but rather some old Italian dude responsible for a small-time jewelry heist.
To say Junhwe's disappointed is an understatement.
They’re parked in an inconspicuous Honda Civic a couple of blocks away from the target location-a rundown community plaza-and it’s been three hours and twenty-seven minutes, but no sign of their perp.
“This is boring,” Junhwe says miserably. His legs are starting to cramp up again and the leather car seat smells like an ashtray. Leave it to Hanbin to not only lie to him, but to assign them the shittiest car possible. When Junhwe tried to convince him otherwise, Hanbin muttered something about we're a precinct in the middle of Brooklyn, do you think we can afford a Rolls Royce? I can't even afford an orthopedic chair, do you−. Suffice it to say, Hanbin was mad.
“And I brought my cool stakeout bag for nothing,” Junhwe complains again, kicking at a black duffel bag by his feet.
Jinhwan rolls his eyes, “Black gloves, binoculars and some protein bars hardly make your stakeout bag cool.”
“Well, duh, because you’re forgetting the coolest thing,” Junhwe holds up a half empty bottle filled with tepid blue liquid and smiles triumphantly, “Powerade. Mountain Berry Blast.”
"Your obsession with energy drinks confuses me," Jinhwan says, making a face. He sets his coffee in the cup holder next to Junhwe's Red Bull and stretches, "We've been working here for four years. There are no cool stakeouts. I think you should know that by now."
Junhwe does know that, because he's done this a million times before. For the most part, Junhwe actually enjoys stakeouts, mostly because he does them with Jinhwan, who's more than great company. The only stakeout Junhwe's ever had complaints about was a grueling five hours with Bobby when Jinhwan was sick. But even then, Junhwe spent most of it sending Jinhwan SOS text messages (in which Jinhwan replied with haha, sucks... also please get me soup) and walked out of there with only a slight headache from Bobby’s incessant rambling about what colour to paint his living room.
But it's strange this time, because Junhwe's never been this miserable before. He just feels so... uncomfortable, antsy, like he should be doing something, doing more. But all he can really do is sit and stare at the desolate community plaza, the letters of the storefront hanging precariously from its hinges. He didn't even bring the good protein bars.
"You're fidgety today. What's wrong?" Jinhwan’s watching him over the rim of his coffee cup. If there's one thing Junhwe wishes his partner wasn't so good at, it's reading peoples' facial expressions. Or, at least, his facial expressions.
“Good job, detective, you figured it out,” Junhwe mutters, but there's no bite to it. Jinhwan only stares at him, waiting.
It's a foreign concept to not tell Jinhwan the truth right away. The truth being that the last couple of months at the precinct have been painfully slow for him. The cases that Hanbin assigns don’t really intrigue him anymore and his arrest count doesn't feel as gratifying as it should. He just wants to do more, wants to show everyone he can do more, wants Hanbin to stop fucking around and assign him a serious case for once instead of the usual small-time convenience store robbery or playing bodyguard for government officials.
But the truth feels petty and as frustrated as he feels, Junhwe decides that Jinhwan doesn't need it. Instead, he says, “Bobby's in the lead again.”
One of the best things about working at the precinct is the lengths the squad will go to pass the time. Randomly, Bobby had made a bet with Junhwe on who could make the most arrests in a month, just because he was bored. Junhwe accepted, of course; he could never turn down a good challenge, especially when the challenge involves kicking Bobby's ass. But so far, Bobby's in the lead (25-24) and Junhwe's not very happy to say the least.
Jinhwan just stares at him for a long moment and sighs loudly, “And here I thought there was a real problem."
Junhwe grips his chest in exaggeration, "This is a real problem. It's very serious. My pride is at stake."
"I’m sure your ego can use a little bruising," Jinhwan says, easily, “It’s good character development.”
"Sure, but why do that when I can bruise another man’s ego?" Junhwe shrugs. When Jinhwan doesn't respond, Junhwe looks over and there's an expression on Jinhwan's face that he can't read, which is ... new.
"I know you've been having a rough couple of months," Jinhwan says slowly like he's testing out the words as he goes, "But you're doing more than enough, Junhwe. Trust me."
"This is why Bobby would make a great stakeout partner," Junhwe quips back instinctively, but there's a flush creeping up his neck, "He's a lousy detective. He would've never figured that out."
Jinhwan snorts, "Yeah, but he's also lousy company. I am a great detective and great company. Don't complain."
It takes Junhwe a little longer than he likes, but he mutters a quiet "Thanks" in Jinhwan's general direction. For the first time, he curses his inability to be sentimental at the right moments and feels mildly embarrassed for it.
Jinhwan opens his mouth to say something, but a flurry of movement catches his attention. Junhwe looks over and sees a dark figure, creeping along the edge of the plaza towards the jewelry store entrance, hood obscuring his face and a backpack swung over his shoulder.
"Well, look at that," Jinhwan says and he's smiling at Junhwe, vibrating with contained excitement, "Guess your pride isn't at stake anymore, is it?"
Junhwe grins back at him, "Let's go, partner."
-
It's early morning by the time they get back to the precinct. Junhwe's running on nothing but Red Bull and bad protein bars, but surprisingly, he feels fine. Whatever feelings he had during the stakeout is placed on the back burner and Junhwe feels lighter, less miserable. In fact, his mood improves considerably when he watches Bobby erase the 24 under his name and replaces it with 26 on the whiteboard. They ended up arresting two perps last night, something they hadn't expected and neither did Bobby, judging from the scowl on his face.
"I can't believe this," Bobby mutters, writing the number twenty-six in small print as if to spite Junhwe. There's applause from an enthusiastic Chanwoo and from a less interested Yunhyeong. Donghyuk looks a little sulky-mostly for Bobby's sake-but claps anyway. Even Hanbin looks slightly impressed.
"Okay, back to work, kids," Hanbin says in his steely voice and the circle around the whiteboard disperses.
Junhwe approaches Jinhwan's desk, who looks very amused at the whole situation.
"Hey, listen," Junhwe starts to say. For once, he doesn’t exactly know where he’s going with this; he always has something to say to Jinhwan whether it’s some form of gloating or different degrees of complaints (from being mildly annoyed at Bobby stealing all his pens to a deeply felt grievance at Hanbin’s patronizing tone at anything Junhwe does). But as he tries to find the right words, Junhwe realizes it’s neither of those things. In fact, it’s the sentimentality he was looking for earlier that catches up to him, leaving him with this overwhelming feeling of just wanting to talk to Jinhwan even if he doesn’t know what to say.
Before Junhwe can get any words out, an unfamiliar voice cuts him off. He turns around and sees a tall, high cheek-boned man, his black hair slicked back in this weirdly effortless way that makes Junhwe suspicious.
"Seunghoon!" Jinhwan says in surprise. This Seunghoon is grinning at Jinhwan in a way that takes up his whole face, making his eyes turn into half crescents. Junhwe doesn't like him already.
Junhwe stands there awkwardly as they give each other a quick hug before diving into a seemingly exciting conversation. Junhwe's aware he’s being ignored, but that doesn’t bother him as much as the way they’re just ... smiling at each other, chummy and familiar. When they both burst out laughing−probably at an inside joke that actually isn't all that funny−Junhwe's curiosity peaks and he acts before he can stop himself. He’s always had shit self-control.
"Hey, what's going on here?" Junhwe tries for a casual voice, but it comes out a little higher than expected.
"Oh, this is my partner, Junhwe," Jinhwan says to Seunghoon, almost like an afterthought, which doesn’t sit well with Junhwe at all. He turns to Junhwe and adds quickly, "Seunghoon and I met at an organized crime workshop a couple of years ago."
"Hey, nice to meet you," Seunghoon says, polite enough to not seem dismissive, but Junhwe can tell he isn't the focus here, "Anyway, I better get these to your sergeant, but we should definitely catch up some time!"
"Yeah, that sounds great," Jinhwan is smiling widely and Junhwe feels a little betrayed. The way Seunghoon smiles back at Jinhwan only makes it worse. Seunghoon nods at Junhwe before walking past them towards Hanbin's office.
"So, is he like, an old acquaintance or something?" Junhwe asks, suddenly feeling very awkward and very intrusive.
"Yeah, I haven't seen him in ages," Jinhwan says, absentmindedly, "It's funny because we met at the workshop, but he ended up being the guy my sister set me up with."
"Oh." It comes out squeaky and Jinhwan raises an eyebrow at him. Junhwe clears his throat, "So you guys dated then?"
"We went on a couple of dates, but it was nothing," Jinhwan shrugs, taking a seat at his desk, "Anyway, fill these out for me, yeah? And nothing inappropriate like last time. I don't want HR on my ass again." Jinhwan hands him a thick stack of papers without looking up at him.
"Yeah, sure, of course.”
Jinhwan looks up at him when he doesn't move. There's an expression on his face that Junhwe can't read for the second time in the last twenty-four hours, but Jinhwan doesn't linger too long and instead, pats Junhwe on the arm and goes back to his paperwork.
-
The rest of the day is... weird. Junhwe walks around with this heavy cloud obscuring his thoughts, making it difficult to concentrate on anything. It might have something to do with the endless paperwork and lack of sleep. But even then, he's usually not this distant.
So Jinhwan's been on a couple dates with the guy so what, right? That was years ago. It's not like they're still going out or anything. Although... what's a "couple of years ago" to Jinhwan? Five years or more? Two years ago? Because two years ago is pretty recent-
"Why do you care so much?" Yunhyeong asks when they're in the file room. Junhwe is stumped for a second before realizing he might've accidentally voiced his concerns out loud.
"I don't," Junhwe says, quickly, "I just... don't really get what Jinhwan sees in the guy."
"Right," Yunhyeong says, slowly, looking unconvinced. But he drops the subject and Junhwe feels strangely grateful.
After work, Bobby invites everyone out for drinks. Usually, everyone agrees, but surprisingly, Jinhwan says he has plans. His answer makes Junhwe do a double take, because Jinhwan always says yes.
"I'm meeting up with Seunghoon for drinks."
"Oh," Junhwe says, lamely. He's been thinking about this all day, but he really wasn't expecting that.
"Have fun without me, okay?" Jinhwan says, throwing his bag over his shoulder, "But don't get too drunk. I don't want you drunk texting me shirtless pictures of yourself again."
"You're welcome, by the way, I don't regret those," Junhwe says, easily, but his insides feel tight.
At the bar, Junhwe finds it a little hard to unwind. It's always been easy to, especially since his second favourite thing after energy drinks is alcohol. But today's been a strange day overall so he's not all that surprised. Maybe he's just... tired.
But tiredness doesn't really explain why he keeps thinking about Jinhwan going out with Seunghoon. Going out for drinks doesn't mean anything; it's just a drink, right? But Junhwe knows that going out for drinks also sounds very much like a date.
What does Jinhwan see in this guy anyway? Sure, he's conventionally attractive and from what Junhwe's heard, he's a good cop, but he seems so... boring. What does Seunghoon have that he doesn't−
"It sounds like you like him," Yunhyeong says.
They're sitting in a booth, cut off from Bobby and Hanbin's loud dartboard tournament, Donghyuk cheering for Bobby in the background. The only good thing coming from this verbal vomit that he's suddenly picked up is that he's talking to Yunhyeong and not one of the others. Bobby would relentlessly make fun of him; Hanbin would probably lecture him about inappropriate work relationships and then proceed to make him file tons of paperwork with HR; Donghyuk is an asshole contrary to popular belief and Chanwoo is five (okay so he’s younger than Junhwe by a year but that’s beside the point). Yunhyeong is a great person to talk to and an even better friend; he’s patient and good-natured and seems to be the only person (besides Jinhwan) who takes Junhwe somewhat seriously. But Junhwe makes a mental note to himself anyway: stop talking.
Junhwe bristles, "Have you been listening? Seunghoon is an ass−"
"No, I mean, Jinhwan. It sounds like you like Jinhwan."
Junhwe pauses and stares at Yunhyeong for a long moment. It's weird, because Junhwe swears Yunhyeong just said−
"I did," Yunhyeong blinks back at him, "I said it sounds like you like Jinhwan."
"Stop saying that," Junhwe makes a face, "I don't like Jinhwan. Not in that way. He's my partner. We're friends."
"Are you sure?" Yunhyeong raises an eyebrow. In hindsight, Junhwe should've been suspicious about Yunhyeong voluntarily dropping the subject earlier. It wasn't an act of kindness on Yunhyeong's part, like Junhwe thought. He was simply saving this topic for later. Yunhyeong shrugs, trying for nonchalant, but Junhwe can tell he's having the time of his life making Junhwe uncomfortable, "You keep talking about Seunghoon like you're jealous or something. Actually, you've been acting like this the whole day."
"I'm not jealous," Junhwe says, a little defensively. Unfortunately, Yunhyeong notices.
"It sounds like a crush to me."
That's ridiculous, Junhwe thinks, he doesn't have a crush.
Sure, when Junhwe wakes up, Jinhwan's the first person he thinks about texting and the first person he ends up texting anyway (hey, what does it mean when you have a dream about all your teeth falling out? / it means you’re an idiot). Sure, Jinhwan is also the first person he greets before anyone else when he walks into the precinct. And yeah, there are moments where Junhwe finds himself randomly grinning at Jinhwan for no reason. But that doesn't mean anything. Junhwe likes to think that when you've been partners for that long, you just end up developing some friendly, harmless habits.
This is just Yunhyeong's terrible idea of a joke (he's always had a weird sense of humour). Junhwe's beginning to question whether Yunhyeong is the right person to talk to, because good friends don't spew out grandiose, borderline-ridiculous assumptions about Junhwe's feelings for his partner (He might even go as far as questioning why he's friends with anybody on this squad in the first place). Junhwe's a highly regarded detective ("You're the only person that regards yourself highly," Donghyuk had said once); he's much more dignified than that. Crushes happen in the school yard and he's way past pulling on pigtails.
"You're thinking about it, aren't you?" Yunhyeong looks smug, "About Jinhwan?"
"No," Junhwe snaps and downs the rest of his drink, "Shut up."
Yunhyeong opens his mouth to retaliate, but he's interrupted by the others, waltzing over to their table after their game, Bobby screaming about his victory.
There's something that feels a little like panic at the pit of Junhwe's stomach, but he ignores it and pretends it's the alcohol that's making him uneasy.
-
When Junhwe walks into the precinct the next morning, he's not only nursing the worst hangover he's ever had, but he's vehemently trying to forget about everything that happened last night.
It's hard to though when the first text message he reads when he wakes up is from Yunhyeong, saying, If you ever need to talk about this crush, you can talk to me ^^.
It's not a crush, Junhwe says to himself. It's not. This isn't something he should be thinking about anyway. There are more important, pressing matters on his mind like-
When Junhwe's mind draws the worst blank known to mankind, he realizes he's fucked.
And he's right, because for the rest of the day (and the day after that, and the day after that and the day after that), all Junhwe thinks about is Jinhwan. It's dormant when Junhwe's at home, distracting himself with video games and movies. But every time he steps into the precinct and he sees Jinhwan, there's this loud buzzing at the back of his head that doesn't go away until Jinhwan does. And Jinhwan never goes away, because he's Junhwe's partner.
For the next week, Junhwe starts noticing things he's never noticed before about Jinhwan. Little things, like a new blue dress shirt Jinhwan's wearing, his habit of chewing on his pen when he's thinking or his small but sinewy frame when he stands next to Chanwoo. He notices other even smaller things like the way Jinhwan smiles at him, easy and familiar when Junhwe lets him bud him in line for coffee, the way Jinhwan gets two of everything, one for himself and one for Junhwe without even thinking and the way Jinhwan fixes his bed head when he isn't looking.
Junhwe wishes all of these tiny realizations were contained and that he had absolute control over his feelings. But he doesn't. In fact, there are moments where Jinhwan catches him staring and he looks at Junhwe inquisitively, tilting his head to the side. Luckily, Junhwe has a good recovery time and he's back to normal before Jinhwan can probe any further. But Jinhwan's also a really good detective and sooner or later, he's going to start asking questions Junhwe doesn't have the answers to.
"What's happening? Why is this happening?" Junhwe says miserably as he drapes himself over the photocopying machine.
Ever since their talk, Yunhyeong has been unhelpful every step of the way, eyeing Junhwe every time Jinhwan's within a two meter radius. But if there's one thing Yunhyeong's good at, it's listening.
Yunhyeong looks at him sympathetically, "I know, it sucks."
There's a pause in the conversation as Junhwe absentmindedly photocopies the side of his face.
"So what are you going to do about it?" Yunhyeong asks.
"What is there to do?" Junhwe mutters, "From what I heard, Jinhwan's still seeing Seunghoon."
And that's the worst part of all of this. It isn't Junhwe's inability to communicate his feelings and it's not even the painful inconveniences that these… feelings bring, but it's the fact that despite all of Jinhwan's offhanded comments of it being "no big deal", Jinhwan is still going on dates with Seunghoon.
The realization of it all hits him harder than it has all week. Junhwe just wallows miserably into the photocopier as Yunhyeong offers him little pats of sympathy.
-
Jinhwan's giving a presentation in the conference room about police codes as a refresher course for the team. He doesn't do this often, which is probably why he looks so nervous. But judging from the cute little cue cards he's holding and the amount of Powerpoint transitions used, Junhwe can tell Jinhwan's put some thought into it.
Jinhwan keeps looking in his general direction, more out of a nervous tick than anything, but occasionally, he'd glare at him every time Junhwe snickers into his hand.
It's moments like this where Junhwe has taught himself to keep the loud buzzing in his head to a soft, quiet lull when he's looking at Jinhwan. It's still annoying, but at least it stops him from picturing himself on dates with his partner (They definitely wouldn’t go to Junhwe’s favourite pizza place and then check out a romantic comedy afterwards at the movie theatre down the street. Definitely not).
When the presentation is over, everyone claps and Jinhwan walks over to Junhwe, looking very embarrassed.
"You, don't say anything," Jinhwan mutters when he takes a seat next to him.
"Cute Powerpoint," Junhwe says, anyway, grinning, "I really liked the 'box out' transitions. But I found the clockwise transitions a little dramatic."
"Shut up," Jinhwan hisses and elbows him in the arm, "I spent three hours on that Powerpoint. And another three hours reading about how to put on an engaging presentation. It was mortifying. I haven't done this since high school."
"Relax," Junhwe laughs, "It was a good presentation."
"Really?" Jinhwan asks. It's almost nonchalant the way Jinhwan says it, but Junhwe can tell he's actually curious. There's something genuine in the way Jinhwan's looking at him, like even though the presentation itself meant nothing to him, he still wants to know if he did a good job.
Junhwe just smiles at him, reassuringly, instinctively and says, "Really."
"You're still an ass though," Jinhwan mutters under his breath as Hanbin drones on about the importance of policing. Jinhwan is looking away, but he's smiling.
Then there are moments like this, where things as simple as a small, quiet smile on Jinhwan's face makes Junhwe's head turn into pure, chaotic static.
When Junhwe leaves the conference room, Yunhyeong is already staring at him with this knowing look in his eyes.
"Take a picture, it'll last longer," Junhwe murmurs when he walks past Yunhyeong's desk.
"I understand you're in love with Jinhwan, but you guys need to tone down the flirting," Yunhyeong says, ignoring Junhwe's comment. He rolls his chair towards Junhwe's desk, "It's nauseating to watch."
"Stop," Junhwe snarls, "I'm not in love with him, okay? Now go away. I have a lot of work to do."
"Okay," Yunhyeong shrugs, but it's suspicious the way he resigns so easily to Junhwe's demands. Yunhyeong's about to roll away to his desk, but he stops mid-way and Junhwe thinks, there it is.
"Oh, by the way, I just came here to tell you that Donghyuk told me that Jinhwan stopped seeing Seunghoon... if that helps at all."
The buzzing in Junhwe's head is so loud, it's almost deafening.
Junhwe's already accepted the fact that he has feelings for Jinhwan that aren’t completely platonic, but he's never thought about actually doing anything. In fact, Junhwe keeps reminding himself that they work together, that they’re partners and it would be weird and unprofessional… right?
Before Junhwe has time to think about it, he sees Yunhyeong not so subtly nodding his head towards Jinhwan, who’s walking towards the break room. The expression on Yunhyeong’s face screams this is your chance, don’t mess it up!
Junhwe's body reacts on its own. The next thing he knows he's walking into the break room, where Jinhwan's making a cup of coffee.
Junhwe leans casually against the doorway, "Hey, so I just saw Seunghoon earlier. He's looking a little rough, isn't he? Like, he just finished crying. And not those small, single tears, but really ugly crying."
"Ha-ha," Jinhwan says, rolling his eyes, "He's fine."
"I didn't take you for the heartless type. What happened?" Junhwe asks. He knows he's not being very subtle, but the buzzing in his head could care less about subtlety.
Junhwe watches Jinhwan explain the situation-something about it not being that serious and that it's awkward that they're both cops-but he's not really paying attention, because the buzzing in his head keeps getting louder. Junhwe just wants it to stop, because he can't think, not like this.
So instead of taking the time to recollect his thoughts, he blurts out the first thing that comes to mind: "Do you want to go out with me?"
Unfortunately, Junhwe blurts it out at the exact same time Jinhwan says, "New rule: I don't date cops."
The way Junhwe blurts the question out in a rush of awkward syllables is mortifying in itself, but nothing beats this very awkward, very palpable silence. Junhwe wishes with his entire being that Jinhwan had somehow lost his hearing for the one second that Junhwe made that idiotic mistake. But the lack of confusion on Jinhwan's face and the silence says otherwise.
They don't say anything for a really, really long time. The break room is so eerily silent that Junhwe can hear the clock ticking above them. He can hear Bobby tossing paper balls into the waste basket outside and even the little 'dings!' from Chanwoo's Candy Crush game.
"Oh," is the first thing Jinhwan says after a long, long tortuous silence. It's anti-climatic to say the least.
"Junhwe," Jinhwan starts, but the conflicted expression on his face says everything.
"It's fine, forget I said anything," Junhwe says, words leaving his mouth in a rush. He just wants to leave this room, maybe stab himself with that spoon on the counter, anything to get away from the awkwardness radiating from them both.
"I just," Jinhwan opens and shuts his mouth a couple of times like he's trying to choose the right words. That somehow makes Junhwe feel worse, "I don't want it to be weird at work, you know? That's the whole point."
"So we won't make it weird," Junhwe says, quickly, his voice a little strained. Jinhwan looks unconvinced.
"It's fine," Junhwe says again, "You're right. We work well together and we should just keep it... professional. Sorry, I don't know what I was thinking."
"No, Junhwe, it's not-" Jinhwan says, but he's cut off by Yunhyeong at the doorway, who looks uncharacteristically serious.
"Oh, Yunhyeong, we're just-" Jinhwan starts, but Yunhyeong cuts him off in a hurried, hushed whisper.
"Guys, it's Donghyuk. He's been hurt."
-
The whole squad goes to visit Donghyuk in the hospital. Everyone's palpably tense and the sight of that makes Junhwe uneasy.
Chanwoo is shrinking into himself, throwing small concerned glances at Yunhyeong, who looks like he's about to cry. Hanbin is a tense line next to him, expression solemn, but there's a vein in his neck that juts out angrily. Jinhwan is quiet, head hung low, not meeting anyone's gaze.
But what's most alarming to Junhwe is Bobby. Bobby is livid, something Junhwe's never seen before, not even in the years he's known Bobby before the nine-nine. Bobby gets angry, of course; they all do when they're under the stress and pressure of the job. But not like this. Junhwe can feel Bobby's anger in waves.
Junhwe gets it, can understand why Bobby can't stand still in the elevator, why Bobby keeps flexing his knuckles like he's ready to fight. Bobby's always in a good mood when Donghyuk's around; Donghyuk, who's always laughing and following Bobby around the precinct. But now, suddenly, the doctors are saying things like -the bullet nearly hit a tendon in his leg and he's lucky he can still walk and it's so jarring to Junhwe that he almost feels sick.
Bobby is the first one in the room, making a beeline for the empty chair next to Donghyuk's bed. Donghyuk is asleep, tucked into the sheets. The room is quiet, except for the beeping from the monitor and Bobby's quiet mutterings ("Hyung is here, hyung is here."). Donghyuk looks pale and sick, but Junhwe's never been so relieved to see that he's still breathing and alive.
Hanbin's the first one to leave the room, because he's not equipped for this stuff, Junhwe knows. But surprisingly, he calls after him and Jinhwan to tag along.
When they're out in the hallway, Hanbin sighs, rubbing his face before turning to them, looking more tired than Junhwe's ever seen him.
"I'm reassigning this case to you two," Hanbin says, "I need you to tail this asshole tonight. He has millions of dollars worth of microprocessors and he's making a drop somewhere to a big buyer. The buyer's the one you need to arrest."
"I know you guys don't normally work these cases, but I trust you won't mess this up," Hanbin hands them a manila folder, "Especially not after what happened."
Jinhwan nods, his mouth in a straight line as he looks over the file, most likely already familiarizing himself with the case.
Junhwe feels uncharacteristically nervous and tightly wound, because Donghyuk isn't supposed to be here, not in this hospital with its sterile beds and white walls. Hanbin isn't supposed to be re-assigning this case to them; they're not supposed to be cleaning up after any messes.
But Jinhwan elbows him, gives him this knowing look: we'll be fine, you'll be fine.
Junhwe stops holding so much tension in his shoulders, in his hands. They're both ready as they'll ever be, Junhwe thinks.
Jinhwan elbows him again, "Let's go partner."
-
The thing is Junhwe is definitely ready for a case like this, because he's been mentally preparing himself for his entire career. But what he isn't prepared for is working with a partner, who not only does he have a crush on, but who also rejected him literally a couple of hours ago. So while Junhwe's head is in the game, ready to nail the perp that hurt Donghyuk, he doesn't know how "professional" he can keep it with Jinhwan.
Their perp, a tall wiry man named Song Minho, had stopped at a fancy restaurant-one with gleaming floor-to-ceiling windows and soft, ambient lighting-to have dinner with a woman, who Junhwe assumes is his sister. The detour had caught them off guard, but Jinhwan quickly decided that they needed to follow him into the restaurant, to keep a close eye on him. Having dinner at a nice-five star restaurant with his partner while battling a terrible inner conflict about his feelings for said partner wasn't exactly on Junhwe's agenda for tonight, but the plan is easy enough: be as discreet as possible. Thankfully, that’s something Junhwe can do.
But the plan backfires just a tad when the hostess places them at a table right next to Minho and his date. So much for being inconspicuous.
It's fine, Junhwe thinks. They've been up close and personal to their perps before. All they have to do now is play it cool .
But surprisingly for the first time, Jinhwan isn't on the same page as him. When Junhwe says "play it cool", he means having a completely normal, platonic dinner with Jinhwan until Minho decides to leave so they can tail him to the buyer. Jinhwan, on the other hand, thinks "playing it cool" means starting up a slightly forced conversation with Minho's date, Danah, for no reason and blowing their very last chance at being discreet.
Okay, this is weird, but still fine, Junhwe thinks again, because Jinhwan's like this with everybody; friendly, easy-going, talkative. Maybe Jinhwan has a plan that Junhwe hasn't quite caught on yet.
But it gets even weirder, because he suddenly hears Jinhwan blurt out: "Yes, we're celebrating our anniversary." Junhwe almost chokes on his water. He does a double take at Jinhwan, who shows him the faintest sign of a shrug and looks almost as bewildered as Junhwe feels. At this point, Junhwe has no fucking clue what Jinhwan is doing.
"Aw, that's so nice," Danah says, smiling at the both of them, "Isn't that nice, Minho?" Danah looks to her brother, who nods disinterestedly as he types rapidly on his phone.
Danah rolls her eyes, "Excuse him, he's always like this. Anyway, how long have you been together?"
"Four years," Jinhwan says. He's recovering quickly, way ahead of Junhwe, who's still gaping at him, "Isn't that right... babe?"
Junhwe cringes at the pet name, palms suddenly sweating. But he nods and smiles tightly at Danah, "Yeah. Five years this May."
"Wow," Danah says and Junhwe can't tell if she's truly amazed or if she's just feigning politeness, "That's so sweet. Where did you two meet?"
"At a parking meter outside a police station. Junhwe didn't know how to pay for parking. Still doesn't, really," Jinhwan replies. This catches Junhwe off guard. He wasn't expecting much of an answer, maybe something cheesy like they met at a Starbucks, but he wasn't expecting the truth. Jinhwan quickly glances over at him and Junhwe can see his face turning pink. Well... that's new.
"Now, here's a question," Danah says, leaning in close. Across from her, Minho rolls his eyes, still on his phone, "How did you know he was the one?"
For once, in this entire conversation, Jinhwan looks like he's at a loss for words. Jinhwan looks at him, nervously, asking for help, "Babe? You want to take this one?"
"Uh." If he was feeling overwhelmed and panicked before, it's nothing compared to what he's feeling now. He looks at Jinhwan, who waits, almost expectantly.
Junhwe realizes that being genuine isn't the concern here, because there are plenty of things he can say. But that doesn't mean he wants to say any of it, especially to Jinhwan's face. Unfortunately, Junhwe doesn't have much of a choice, because Jinhwan's not the only one waiting. Danah is looking at him and even Minho has averted his gaze from his phone to Junhwe.
It's fine. He's a dignified detective, who's just going to blurt out how he feels about his partner in front of said partner, the perp and the perp's nosy sister. This is for professional, work-related purposes, Junhwe tells himself.
Junhwe huffs out a sigh and says hesitantly, "He's the first person I want to share things with. Good or bad."
There's a look of surprise on Jinhwan's face, but it's very faint, very contained, something only Junhwe catches. Jinhwan's also smiling a little, trying to hide it behind his glass of water. It's that quiet smile again that Junhwe's seen before. But at this point, he doesn't know what to make of it. Instead, he focuses his energy on not turning red in the face with embarrassment.
"Hey, sis, I’m going to go talk to the chef," Minho says before Danah can react. Junhwe's taken aback when Minho talks; it's the first thing he's said since they sat down. Minho hands Danah a cellphone, "Here, tell Taehyun to bring the car around." With that, he disappears to the back, carrying the briefcase with him.
"I'm going to the bathroom," Junhwe says, quickly, getting up from his seat.
Jinhwan gives him a pointed look as if telling him to stay put. But Junhwe needs to leave, not only because he wants to catch their perp, but to get away from how weird this night has turned out.
"I'll be back, babe," Junhwe says. Jinhwan doesn't look pleased at all.
When Junhwe reaches the open door of the kitchen, he sees Minho talking in hushed voices to the chef, clutching onto his briefcase. It feels a little anti-climatic, because Junhwe was sure that "talking to the chef" was code for "gotta sell these microprocessors and get filthy rich while also destroying the world." But it looks like Minho is, well, actually talking to the chef.
Minho looks up suddenly and catches sight of him. Shit, Junhwe thinks, shit, shit, shit. Okay, relax, maybe Minho didn't see him. But he sees Minho finishing up his conversation and now he’s walking in Junhwe's direction.
Great, he’s fucked. He can't run; that'll look too suspicious. Maybe he'll pretend he was looking for the bathroom-
Before Junhwe can come up with a plan, someone spins him around and pins him against the wall. It takes a fraction of a second for Junhwe to register that it's Jinhwan, but the next thing he knows, Junhwe has his hands resting instinctively against the small of Jinhwan's back, Jinhwan's mouth planted firmly on his. It's a hard kiss, more like a calculated crush of lips, but Jinhwan is soft and warm against him, making it hard for Junhwe to care about anything else.
They break apart when Minho clears his throat.
"Oh, sorry," Jinhwan says. He's a little out of breath. There's a flush creeping up Jinhwan's neck and his ears are pink, something Junhwe's never seen before, "We're just celebrating."
"By kissing," Junhwe blurts out. Apparently, kissing Jinhwan has made him lose all of his inhibitions. Jinhwan glares at him.
Luckily, Minho doesn't seem to notice. He just smiles at them and says, "Ah, young love. I understand. Enjoy." And he walks off towards the exit.
"Good call... on the kissing," Junhwe says, awkwardly, "Very professional. Very appropriate." His own rambling gives him a chance to let it sink in that Jinhwan kissed him, but not enough for him to figure out what the hell it all means.
"Let's just go, please," Jinhwan's voice is steady, but he looks flustered for once. There's a shine on his face, like he's been sweating. It distracts Junhwe a little.
Without another word, they leave the restaurant, trailing after Minho.
-
The car ride tailing Minho had been awkwardly silent. They hadn't said much since they left the restaurant and Junhwe tells himself that it's their determination to catch their perp that's got them so quiet, so focused. But that's never happened in the four years that they've been working together. Usually, Junhwe's the one talking, but at this point, he doesn't know what to say.
They're crouching behind a tree in a dimly lit park, surveilling an isolated bench, where the briefcase sits, waiting.
"So this is exciting, huh?" Junhwe says in a very bad attempt at making conversation.
"Your cool stakeout bag would've been handy," Jinhwan replies, but he's clearly distracted.
It's silent again, something that happens now more often than not.
Junhwe has always imagined that he'd be working these cases with Jinhwan. And he is; that much is true. But he never expected their first serious case together to play out like this, with this weird, uncomfortable silence hanging in the air between them. Junhwe's never had to tip toe around Jinhwan before and he takes it as a bad sign when he finds himself doing it now. It's definitely not something he wants to get used to.
"Hey," Junhwe starts, hesitantly, "Are we okay?"
Jinhwan looks taken aback at the question, like he wasn't expecting Junhwe to ask him that of all things, "Yeah. Of course. Why wouldn't we be?"
"It's just... This feels a little weird and I know we said we wouldn't make it weird, but... it is," Junhwe rambles, "And I'm sorry for that...if I made it weird."
"Don't apologize," Jinhwan says, firmly, "It's not your fault. It's been a weird night in general."
Yes, a weird night brought on by the fact that Junhwe had to open his stupid mouth and ask Jinhwan a stupid question brought on by his stupid feelings.
"We should just focus on the case," Jinhwan says. It sounds serious, polite almost, which doesn't sit well with Junhwe, because polite isn't something they do, not with each other.
"Right. Okay, well, just give me a heads up if you plan on kissing me again." He doesn't really know why he says it. It's supposed to be a lighthearted attempt at diffusing the tension. But now that Junhwe hears it, it doesn't really diffuse anything.
But Jinhwan actually looks a little sheepish at that. Jinhwan opens his mouth to answer, but a figure in a grey suit is walking towards the park bench and he's eyeing the briefcase. The man takes a seat on the bench, keeping his distance as if not to look too suspicious.
"This guy's taking a walk in the park at like, 10PM in a suit," Junhwe scoffs, "How is that not suspicious?"
Junhwe's a lot louder than he thinks, because the man turns slightly towards their general direction.
Instinctively, Junhwe reaches out and pulls Jinhwan closer, their bodies pressed flush together. It's a little awkward, because Jinhwan's face ends up squashed against his chest and Junhwe's chin hits the top of his head. But Jinhwan's so close to him that Junhwe can feel the body heat radiating from him; can smell the lingering scent of Jinhwan's cologne.
They stand like that for only a second, but Junhwe can feel Jinhwan's fingers flexing in the fabric of his shirt like he has no idea if he should hold on or if he should keep his hands to himself. Jinhwan surprisingly settles for the former. Junhwe tries not to think about it too much.
"Are we good?" Jinhwan mumbles into Junhwe's chest.
When Junhwe peeks out from behind the tree, he sees the buyer pick up the briefcase.
"He's picking up the briefcase," Junhwe says, "We gotta move."
"You kind of have to let go of me first," Jinhwan mumbles again.
"Right," Junhwe says, automatically letting his arms drop to his side. He hadn't realized how tightly he was holding Jinhwan until the tension is gone from his arms. Jinhwan looks disoriented, still very much in Junhwe's personal space, so close that Junhwe can see the heart-shaped mole under his eye.
"Okay, let's go," Jinhwan says, quickly. Junhwe nods.
"NYPD! Freeze!" Junhwe yells, pulling his gun and badge out from his holster.
The buyer looks surprised as he instinctively raises his hands up in the air, holding the briefcase.
"Freeze? Really?" Jinhwan says from beside him, mimicking his stance.
"What am I supposed to say? Stop?" Junhwe mutters, indignantly.
"Put the briefcase down slowly," Jinhwan says to the buyer, voice steely, "And keep your hands where we can see them."
Everything happens so fast that Junhwe doesn't have the time to register it all. One minute, the buyer is slowly placing the briefcase on the ground and Junhwe's sighing in relief, because it's finally over. But the next thing he knows, Junhwe hears two loud bangs that make his ears ring and suddenly the buyer is on the ground. Junhwe realizes belatedly that the second bang had come from his gun. His hands are trembling as he lowers his gun and looks over, the buyer's body in a heap on the ground.
"Holy fuck," Junhwe exhales a shaky breath, "Did I kill him? Did I just kill him?"
"Junhwe," Jinhwan croaks out. Junhwe’s veins fill with ice, because there's something that feels very wrong.
When Junhwe looks over, Jinhwan is grasping his arm, tightly, half his body leaning towards one side, limp. Jinhwan pulls his hand away and all Junhwe sees is red.
-
Junhwe doesn't leave Jinhwan's side even when he's being treated by the paramedics. The squad shows up a little bit after, everyone flocking to Jinhwan with worried hands and panicked expressions. Hanbin pats Junhwe on the shoulder and tells him he hit the buyer square in the shoulder, but the buyer's still alive and he's been apprehended. It's about as close as Hanbin gets to a thank you, but Junhwe takes it anyway.
They find out it's mostly a flesh wound, but the paramedics carry Jinhwan on a stretcher, because he doesn't look too good. Jinhwan keeps insisting he's fine and doesn't need help, even though Junhwe can tell the flesh wound hurts more than he's letting on.
When they're at the hospital, the doctors put Jinhwan in a room for some checkups, but mostly to rest. It’s not that serious, but it's better if Jinhwan doesn't try to move too much in the next twenty-four hours, because Junhwe finds out that he’s overworked.
It takes a bit of time for the adrenaline to wear off, but once it does, Junhwe feels shaken, sick. It's the same panicky feeling he had when he visited Donghyuk, but it grips him even harder, vice-like.
When the doctor comes out of Jinhwan’s room, giving Junhwe the go-ahead, the first thing Jinhwan says when he walks into the room is, "You got me flowers."
Jinhwan’s stating an obvious fact, but there's a hint of surprise and fondness in his tone that makes Junhwe's face feel hot.
Junhwe's aware the flowers are a tad cliché, but he feels terrible, guilty. He keeps replaying the moment over and over again in his head; Jinhwan’s pale face, his panicked expression and all the blood. Jinhwan kept reassuring him that it wasn’t his fault, that this was something out of Junhwe’s control. But it’s hard to believe him when Junhwe keeps imagining what it would’ve been like if the bullet hadn’t hit Jinhwan in the arm, if the bullet had landed two spaces over. It gets worse when Junhwe thinks about the fact that he could’ve prevented the whole thing if he wasn’t so focused on not making it awkward between them, something he shouldn’t have been thinking about in the first place. For once in his entire career, he agrees with the hypothetical Hanbin that he draws in his mind, the one that easily would've lectured him about inappropriate work relationships and would've warned him about this exact situation.
Jinhwan's propped up on some pillows, tucked snugly into the sheets, wearing an ugly hospital gown and a heavy-looking arm sling. But he looks fine, healthier, whole. Junhwe feels himself visibly deflating with relief.
"Blue. My favourite colour. That's cute," Jinhwan sounds very tired. The IV drips steadily next to him.
"I got them at the gift shop downstairs literally two minutes ago," Junhwe says, placing the hydrangeas on the table next to Jinhwan's bed, "I tried."
"Still cute," Jinhwan mutters, sleepily.
Even though Junhwe feels relieved, his body is still tense, pressed into a straight rigid line. Jinhwan looks over at him and notices the way he’s sitting. Even when Jinhwan's hopped up on the painkillers, he can still read Junhwe's expressions almost too well.
"You look like you've been through hell and you didn't even leave with a scratch."
Junhwe must look guilty at that, because Jinhwan says quickly, "I'm kidding. I'm fine. We're fine. I'm glad you're here."
When Junhwe opens his mouth to speak, Jinhwan’s already shaking his head at him.
“If you’re going to apologize again, forget it. Either you talk and leave or you shut up and stay. Personally, I would prefer the latter,” Jinhwan is smiling widely at him. Even with how awful he feels, Junhwe finds it hard not to smile back.
Junhwe settles into the stiff chair and makes a show of prompting his feet on Jinhwan's bed. When Jinhwan glares at him half-heartedly, Junhwe shrugs, "What? I'm shutting up, but if I'm staying too, I might as well get comfortable."
"You're a good kid," Jinhwan says, unexpectedly.
"And you're on drugs," Junhwe says, but he's grinning.
"That's hyung to you," Jinhwan mutters incoherently under his breath. Junhwe knows he’s far gone when he starts referring to himself as ‘hyung’, "Hyung is on drugs. Painkillers."
"You're terrible. Go to sleep."
-
When Junhwe wakes up the next morning, there's this horrible crick in his neck from sleeping in a wooden, rickety chair all night. It takes him a little while to register where he is. But when he sees the hydrangeas in a vase on the table next to Jinhwan's bed, he remembers he's in the hospital.
Junhwe rubs his face, feeling tired and grimy. He notices the bed is empty. For a moment, Junhwe panics. He has a momentary lapse in memory, doesn't remember what happens and more importantly, doesn’t know if Jinhwan is okay. But he hears the sink running in the adjacent room and he becomes a little less fidgety.
"Morning," Jinhwan says when he steps out of the bathroom. Jinhwan's still in the hospital gown, but the bandages under the arm sling look new. He looks calm, collected, brighter even, "How'd you sleep?"
"Not as well as you did," Junhwe says, stretching, "You look... better."
"Yeah," Jinhwan smiles. There's a pause where Jinhwan looks contemplative. Then he says, "Hey, take a walk with me."
The hallways are relatively empty, save for a few patients and doctors. The silence between them doesn't feel as tense or as uncomfortable anymore, which makes Junhwe feel lighter than he has in a while. But Junhwe wonders what this means now, whether he should pretend that nothing happened between them or if he should say something about it, clear the air. Junhwe really doesn't want to do either, not now anyway when there's a weariness in his bones that he's in desperate need of shaking off.
They're standing in front of a vending machine and Junhwe watches Jinhwan decide between two soft drinks. He suddenly feels very sentimental, the cheesy kind of sentimental that makes him want to tell Jinhwan that he's grateful he's alive, well and breathing.
"Hey, listen," Junhwe says when Jinhwan's distracted, because it's easier when Jinhwan isn't looking at him, "I'm, uh... glad you're okay. I was really worried about ... you know, your well-being... as your partner-uh, work partner. And I know things have been kind of weird between us, but I honestly don't know what I would do-"
There's a light thud as the bottle is dispensed. Junhwe goes to pick it up, about to avert the topic to making a point about Jinhwan's terrible sugary cravings, about to suggest that Jinhwan should've gotten apple juice instead, something easier to digest. But when he hands over the bottle, Jinhwan's looking at him, expression soft, thoughtful.
"What?" Junhwe asks when Jinhwan doesn't say anything.
"Just giving you a heads up," Jinhwan says finally and Junhwe can't help the way his eyes flicker to Jinhwan's mouth, his palms suddenly sweaty, "But I'm going to kiss you now."
"Okay," Junhwe says, lamely and he'd be more embarrassed about it, about how eager he sounds, but Jinhwan is suddenly standing very close to him and Junhwe's mind goes blank. Even with the forewarning, there's no way Junhwe can mentally prepare himself for this, for Jinhwan pressing against him, for Jinhwan’s hand on the back of his neck, pulling him in.
Jinhwan is warm and pliant underneath him and he tastes faintly like mint toothpaste. The kiss is chaste and slow, but Junhwe can't seem to still his hands, pressing his fingers into Jinhwan's hip bone, sliding his hands up Jinhwan’s side.
When they break apart, Jinhwan's breath hitches a little.
“So much for not dating cops, huh?” Jinhwan says, absentmindedly, his cheeks pink.
"I like you," Junhwe blurts out, and this time there's no awkwardness, no regret, not when Jinhwan's looking up at him through his eyelashes.
"I know, you idiot. I’m a detective,” Jinhwan says, rolling his eyes, but he's smiling at Junhwe, eyes crinkling in the corners, "I like you too. Sorry it took me a while to figure that out."
It takes a while for Junhwe to register the words, but when he does, he grins and says, "You have time to make it up to me."
Before Jinhwan can say anything, a flash suddenly goes off. They both turn their heads at the same time, still pressed close to each other. It's the entire squad, of course, crammed into the narrow hospital hallway, whooping and cheering. Bobby is wolf whistling and even Hanbin is slow clapping.
"Finally!" Yunhyeong exclaims from under Hanbin's arm, “Took you two long enough.”
"No pictures, please," Jinhwan says, wearily when the flash goes off again. Bobby looks very smug.
"Not a chance," Bobby says, eyes glued to the screen of his phone, "I'm sending these to Donghyuk. I didn't want to leave him, but Yunhyeong said you guys finally did it."
There's the sound of a phone ringing, some crackling and finally, Donghyuk's voice chirps through the speaker phone.
"Is this really happening? Are these photos real or did Bobby photoshop them again? Hello? Can someone please tell me what's happening? Why did you all leave me here if you're not going to give me anything?"
"Jinhwan and Junhwe are boning," Hanbin says matter-of-factly into the phone and Junhwe can feel Jinhwan shriveling up next to him.
There's a ruckus of noise after that-Yunhyeong lecturing Hanbin about not using the word boning in front of Chanwoo, Bobby insisting they celebrate with drinks, Donghyuk yelling through the speakerphone. It's too loud, chaotic and definitely not appropriate for a hospital setting, but Junhwe doesn’t notice. Instead, the only thing he notices is Jinhwan, grabbing onto his hand, interlocking their fingers.
"This is mortifying," Jinhwan says, frowning, "We need to leave before I throw this arm sling at Bobby."
Junhwe looks down at their hands, can feel Jinhwan's pulse against his palm and grins, "Let's go partner."
Jinhwan/Junhwe, mentions of Bobby/Donghyuk (if you squint) | PG-13 | 8.9K words.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine AU, in which Junhwe finds out he might have feelings for his partner, an assigned undercover case ends up testing said feelings and unsurprisingly, the entire squad is incredibly unhelpful.
a/n: Heavily inspired by an episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Written for greycheonsa for exchangekon! This is my first time writing iKON ever???? And I managed to barf out this 8.9K monstrosity that took me a lot longer to write than I had anticipated and I also have mixed feelings about it, because the ending is a little rushed, but enjoy anyway ;A;
When Hanbin assigns them to do a stakeout on a notorious Italian mafia, he forgets to mention that it’s not so much a notorious Italian mafia under surveillance, but rather some old Italian dude responsible for a small-time jewelry heist.
To say Junhwe's disappointed is an understatement.
They’re parked in an inconspicuous Honda Civic a couple of blocks away from the target location-a rundown community plaza-and it’s been three hours and twenty-seven minutes, but no sign of their perp.
“This is boring,” Junhwe says miserably. His legs are starting to cramp up again and the leather car seat smells like an ashtray. Leave it to Hanbin to not only lie to him, but to assign them the shittiest car possible. When Junhwe tried to convince him otherwise, Hanbin muttered something about we're a precinct in the middle of Brooklyn, do you think we can afford a Rolls Royce? I can't even afford an orthopedic chair, do you−. Suffice it to say, Hanbin was mad.
“And I brought my cool stakeout bag for nothing,” Junhwe complains again, kicking at a black duffel bag by his feet.
Jinhwan rolls his eyes, “Black gloves, binoculars and some protein bars hardly make your stakeout bag cool.”
“Well, duh, because you’re forgetting the coolest thing,” Junhwe holds up a half empty bottle filled with tepid blue liquid and smiles triumphantly, “Powerade. Mountain Berry Blast.”
"Your obsession with energy drinks confuses me," Jinhwan says, making a face. He sets his coffee in the cup holder next to Junhwe's Red Bull and stretches, "We've been working here for four years. There are no cool stakeouts. I think you should know that by now."
Junhwe does know that, because he's done this a million times before. For the most part, Junhwe actually enjoys stakeouts, mostly because he does them with Jinhwan, who's more than great company. The only stakeout Junhwe's ever had complaints about was a grueling five hours with Bobby when Jinhwan was sick. But even then, Junhwe spent most of it sending Jinhwan SOS text messages (in which Jinhwan replied with haha, sucks... also please get me soup) and walked out of there with only a slight headache from Bobby’s incessant rambling about what colour to paint his living room.
But it's strange this time, because Junhwe's never been this miserable before. He just feels so... uncomfortable, antsy, like he should be doing something, doing more. But all he can really do is sit and stare at the desolate community plaza, the letters of the storefront hanging precariously from its hinges. He didn't even bring the good protein bars.
"You're fidgety today. What's wrong?" Jinhwan’s watching him over the rim of his coffee cup. If there's one thing Junhwe wishes his partner wasn't so good at, it's reading peoples' facial expressions. Or, at least, his facial expressions.
“Good job, detective, you figured it out,” Junhwe mutters, but there's no bite to it. Jinhwan only stares at him, waiting.
It's a foreign concept to not tell Jinhwan the truth right away. The truth being that the last couple of months at the precinct have been painfully slow for him. The cases that Hanbin assigns don’t really intrigue him anymore and his arrest count doesn't feel as gratifying as it should. He just wants to do more, wants to show everyone he can do more, wants Hanbin to stop fucking around and assign him a serious case for once instead of the usual small-time convenience store robbery or playing bodyguard for government officials.
But the truth feels petty and as frustrated as he feels, Junhwe decides that Jinhwan doesn't need it. Instead, he says, “Bobby's in the lead again.”
One of the best things about working at the precinct is the lengths the squad will go to pass the time. Randomly, Bobby had made a bet with Junhwe on who could make the most arrests in a month, just because he was bored. Junhwe accepted, of course; he could never turn down a good challenge, especially when the challenge involves kicking Bobby's ass. But so far, Bobby's in the lead (25-24) and Junhwe's not very happy to say the least.
Jinhwan just stares at him for a long moment and sighs loudly, “And here I thought there was a real problem."
Junhwe grips his chest in exaggeration, "This is a real problem. It's very serious. My pride is at stake."
"I’m sure your ego can use a little bruising," Jinhwan says, easily, “It’s good character development.”
"Sure, but why do that when I can bruise another man’s ego?" Junhwe shrugs. When Jinhwan doesn't respond, Junhwe looks over and there's an expression on Jinhwan's face that he can't read, which is ... new.
"I know you've been having a rough couple of months," Jinhwan says slowly like he's testing out the words as he goes, "But you're doing more than enough, Junhwe. Trust me."
"This is why Bobby would make a great stakeout partner," Junhwe quips back instinctively, but there's a flush creeping up his neck, "He's a lousy detective. He would've never figured that out."
Jinhwan snorts, "Yeah, but he's also lousy company. I am a great detective and great company. Don't complain."
It takes Junhwe a little longer than he likes, but he mutters a quiet "Thanks" in Jinhwan's general direction. For the first time, he curses his inability to be sentimental at the right moments and feels mildly embarrassed for it.
Jinhwan opens his mouth to say something, but a flurry of movement catches his attention. Junhwe looks over and sees a dark figure, creeping along the edge of the plaza towards the jewelry store entrance, hood obscuring his face and a backpack swung over his shoulder.
"Well, look at that," Jinhwan says and he's smiling at Junhwe, vibrating with contained excitement, "Guess your pride isn't at stake anymore, is it?"
Junhwe grins back at him, "Let's go, partner."
-
It's early morning by the time they get back to the precinct. Junhwe's running on nothing but Red Bull and bad protein bars, but surprisingly, he feels fine. Whatever feelings he had during the stakeout is placed on the back burner and Junhwe feels lighter, less miserable. In fact, his mood improves considerably when he watches Bobby erase the 24 under his name and replaces it with 26 on the whiteboard. They ended up arresting two perps last night, something they hadn't expected and neither did Bobby, judging from the scowl on his face.
"I can't believe this," Bobby mutters, writing the number twenty-six in small print as if to spite Junhwe. There's applause from an enthusiastic Chanwoo and from a less interested Yunhyeong. Donghyuk looks a little sulky-mostly for Bobby's sake-but claps anyway. Even Hanbin looks slightly impressed.
"Okay, back to work, kids," Hanbin says in his steely voice and the circle around the whiteboard disperses.
Junhwe approaches Jinhwan's desk, who looks very amused at the whole situation.
"Hey, listen," Junhwe starts to say. For once, he doesn’t exactly know where he’s going with this; he always has something to say to Jinhwan whether it’s some form of gloating or different degrees of complaints (from being mildly annoyed at Bobby stealing all his pens to a deeply felt grievance at Hanbin’s patronizing tone at anything Junhwe does). But as he tries to find the right words, Junhwe realizes it’s neither of those things. In fact, it’s the sentimentality he was looking for earlier that catches up to him, leaving him with this overwhelming feeling of just wanting to talk to Jinhwan even if he doesn’t know what to say.
Before Junhwe can get any words out, an unfamiliar voice cuts him off. He turns around and sees a tall, high cheek-boned man, his black hair slicked back in this weirdly effortless way that makes Junhwe suspicious.
"Seunghoon!" Jinhwan says in surprise. This Seunghoon is grinning at Jinhwan in a way that takes up his whole face, making his eyes turn into half crescents. Junhwe doesn't like him already.
Junhwe stands there awkwardly as they give each other a quick hug before diving into a seemingly exciting conversation. Junhwe's aware he’s being ignored, but that doesn’t bother him as much as the way they’re just ... smiling at each other, chummy and familiar. When they both burst out laughing−probably at an inside joke that actually isn't all that funny−Junhwe's curiosity peaks and he acts before he can stop himself. He’s always had shit self-control.
"Hey, what's going on here?" Junhwe tries for a casual voice, but it comes out a little higher than expected.
"Oh, this is my partner, Junhwe," Jinhwan says to Seunghoon, almost like an afterthought, which doesn’t sit well with Junhwe at all. He turns to Junhwe and adds quickly, "Seunghoon and I met at an organized crime workshop a couple of years ago."
"Hey, nice to meet you," Seunghoon says, polite enough to not seem dismissive, but Junhwe can tell he isn't the focus here, "Anyway, I better get these to your sergeant, but we should definitely catch up some time!"
"Yeah, that sounds great," Jinhwan is smiling widely and Junhwe feels a little betrayed. The way Seunghoon smiles back at Jinhwan only makes it worse. Seunghoon nods at Junhwe before walking past them towards Hanbin's office.
"So, is he like, an old acquaintance or something?" Junhwe asks, suddenly feeling very awkward and very intrusive.
"Yeah, I haven't seen him in ages," Jinhwan says, absentmindedly, "It's funny because we met at the workshop, but he ended up being the guy my sister set me up with."
"Oh." It comes out squeaky and Jinhwan raises an eyebrow at him. Junhwe clears his throat, "So you guys dated then?"
"We went on a couple of dates, but it was nothing," Jinhwan shrugs, taking a seat at his desk, "Anyway, fill these out for me, yeah? And nothing inappropriate like last time. I don't want HR on my ass again." Jinhwan hands him a thick stack of papers without looking up at him.
"Yeah, sure, of course.”
Jinhwan looks up at him when he doesn't move. There's an expression on his face that Junhwe can't read for the second time in the last twenty-four hours, but Jinhwan doesn't linger too long and instead, pats Junhwe on the arm and goes back to his paperwork.
-
The rest of the day is... weird. Junhwe walks around with this heavy cloud obscuring his thoughts, making it difficult to concentrate on anything. It might have something to do with the endless paperwork and lack of sleep. But even then, he's usually not this distant.
So Jinhwan's been on a couple dates with the guy so what, right? That was years ago. It's not like they're still going out or anything. Although... what's a "couple of years ago" to Jinhwan? Five years or more? Two years ago? Because two years ago is pretty recent-
"Why do you care so much?" Yunhyeong asks when they're in the file room. Junhwe is stumped for a second before realizing he might've accidentally voiced his concerns out loud.
"I don't," Junhwe says, quickly, "I just... don't really get what Jinhwan sees in the guy."
"Right," Yunhyeong says, slowly, looking unconvinced. But he drops the subject and Junhwe feels strangely grateful.
After work, Bobby invites everyone out for drinks. Usually, everyone agrees, but surprisingly, Jinhwan says he has plans. His answer makes Junhwe do a double take, because Jinhwan always says yes.
"I'm meeting up with Seunghoon for drinks."
"Oh," Junhwe says, lamely. He's been thinking about this all day, but he really wasn't expecting that.
"Have fun without me, okay?" Jinhwan says, throwing his bag over his shoulder, "But don't get too drunk. I don't want you drunk texting me shirtless pictures of yourself again."
"You're welcome, by the way, I don't regret those," Junhwe says, easily, but his insides feel tight.
At the bar, Junhwe finds it a little hard to unwind. It's always been easy to, especially since his second favourite thing after energy drinks is alcohol. But today's been a strange day overall so he's not all that surprised. Maybe he's just... tired.
But tiredness doesn't really explain why he keeps thinking about Jinhwan going out with Seunghoon. Going out for drinks doesn't mean anything; it's just a drink, right? But Junhwe knows that going out for drinks also sounds very much like a date.
What does Jinhwan see in this guy anyway? Sure, he's conventionally attractive and from what Junhwe's heard, he's a good cop, but he seems so... boring. What does Seunghoon have that he doesn't−
"It sounds like you like him," Yunhyeong says.
They're sitting in a booth, cut off from Bobby and Hanbin's loud dartboard tournament, Donghyuk cheering for Bobby in the background. The only good thing coming from this verbal vomit that he's suddenly picked up is that he's talking to Yunhyeong and not one of the others. Bobby would relentlessly make fun of him; Hanbin would probably lecture him about inappropriate work relationships and then proceed to make him file tons of paperwork with HR; Donghyuk is an asshole contrary to popular belief and Chanwoo is five (okay so he’s younger than Junhwe by a year but that’s beside the point). Yunhyeong is a great person to talk to and an even better friend; he’s patient and good-natured and seems to be the only person (besides Jinhwan) who takes Junhwe somewhat seriously. But Junhwe makes a mental note to himself anyway: stop talking.
Junhwe bristles, "Have you been listening? Seunghoon is an ass−"
"No, I mean, Jinhwan. It sounds like you like Jinhwan."
Junhwe pauses and stares at Yunhyeong for a long moment. It's weird, because Junhwe swears Yunhyeong just said−
"I did," Yunhyeong blinks back at him, "I said it sounds like you like Jinhwan."
"Stop saying that," Junhwe makes a face, "I don't like Jinhwan. Not in that way. He's my partner. We're friends."
"Are you sure?" Yunhyeong raises an eyebrow. In hindsight, Junhwe should've been suspicious about Yunhyeong voluntarily dropping the subject earlier. It wasn't an act of kindness on Yunhyeong's part, like Junhwe thought. He was simply saving this topic for later. Yunhyeong shrugs, trying for nonchalant, but Junhwe can tell he's having the time of his life making Junhwe uncomfortable, "You keep talking about Seunghoon like you're jealous or something. Actually, you've been acting like this the whole day."
"I'm not jealous," Junhwe says, a little defensively. Unfortunately, Yunhyeong notices.
"It sounds like a crush to me."
That's ridiculous, Junhwe thinks, he doesn't have a crush.
Sure, when Junhwe wakes up, Jinhwan's the first person he thinks about texting and the first person he ends up texting anyway (hey, what does it mean when you have a dream about all your teeth falling out? / it means you’re an idiot). Sure, Jinhwan is also the first person he greets before anyone else when he walks into the precinct. And yeah, there are moments where Junhwe finds himself randomly grinning at Jinhwan for no reason. But that doesn't mean anything. Junhwe likes to think that when you've been partners for that long, you just end up developing some friendly, harmless habits.
This is just Yunhyeong's terrible idea of a joke (he's always had a weird sense of humour). Junhwe's beginning to question whether Yunhyeong is the right person to talk to, because good friends don't spew out grandiose, borderline-ridiculous assumptions about Junhwe's feelings for his partner (He might even go as far as questioning why he's friends with anybody on this squad in the first place). Junhwe's a highly regarded detective ("You're the only person that regards yourself highly," Donghyuk had said once); he's much more dignified than that. Crushes happen in the school yard and he's way past pulling on pigtails.
"You're thinking about it, aren't you?" Yunhyeong looks smug, "About Jinhwan?"
"No," Junhwe snaps and downs the rest of his drink, "Shut up."
Yunhyeong opens his mouth to retaliate, but he's interrupted by the others, waltzing over to their table after their game, Bobby screaming about his victory.
There's something that feels a little like panic at the pit of Junhwe's stomach, but he ignores it and pretends it's the alcohol that's making him uneasy.
-
When Junhwe walks into the precinct the next morning, he's not only nursing the worst hangover he's ever had, but he's vehemently trying to forget about everything that happened last night.
It's hard to though when the first text message he reads when he wakes up is from Yunhyeong, saying, If you ever need to talk about this crush, you can talk to me ^^.
It's not a crush, Junhwe says to himself. It's not. This isn't something he should be thinking about anyway. There are more important, pressing matters on his mind like-
When Junhwe's mind draws the worst blank known to mankind, he realizes he's fucked.
And he's right, because for the rest of the day (and the day after that, and the day after that and the day after that), all Junhwe thinks about is Jinhwan. It's dormant when Junhwe's at home, distracting himself with video games and movies. But every time he steps into the precinct and he sees Jinhwan, there's this loud buzzing at the back of his head that doesn't go away until Jinhwan does. And Jinhwan never goes away, because he's Junhwe's partner.
For the next week, Junhwe starts noticing things he's never noticed before about Jinhwan. Little things, like a new blue dress shirt Jinhwan's wearing, his habit of chewing on his pen when he's thinking or his small but sinewy frame when he stands next to Chanwoo. He notices other even smaller things like the way Jinhwan smiles at him, easy and familiar when Junhwe lets him bud him in line for coffee, the way Jinhwan gets two of everything, one for himself and one for Junhwe without even thinking and the way Jinhwan fixes his bed head when he isn't looking.
Junhwe wishes all of these tiny realizations were contained and that he had absolute control over his feelings. But he doesn't. In fact, there are moments where Jinhwan catches him staring and he looks at Junhwe inquisitively, tilting his head to the side. Luckily, Junhwe has a good recovery time and he's back to normal before Jinhwan can probe any further. But Jinhwan's also a really good detective and sooner or later, he's going to start asking questions Junhwe doesn't have the answers to.
"What's happening? Why is this happening?" Junhwe says miserably as he drapes himself over the photocopying machine.
Ever since their talk, Yunhyeong has been unhelpful every step of the way, eyeing Junhwe every time Jinhwan's within a two meter radius. But if there's one thing Yunhyeong's good at, it's listening.
Yunhyeong looks at him sympathetically, "I know, it sucks."
There's a pause in the conversation as Junhwe absentmindedly photocopies the side of his face.
"So what are you going to do about it?" Yunhyeong asks.
"What is there to do?" Junhwe mutters, "From what I heard, Jinhwan's still seeing Seunghoon."
And that's the worst part of all of this. It isn't Junhwe's inability to communicate his feelings and it's not even the painful inconveniences that these… feelings bring, but it's the fact that despite all of Jinhwan's offhanded comments of it being "no big deal", Jinhwan is still going on dates with Seunghoon.
The realization of it all hits him harder than it has all week. Junhwe just wallows miserably into the photocopier as Yunhyeong offers him little pats of sympathy.
-
Jinhwan's giving a presentation in the conference room about police codes as a refresher course for the team. He doesn't do this often, which is probably why he looks so nervous. But judging from the cute little cue cards he's holding and the amount of Powerpoint transitions used, Junhwe can tell Jinhwan's put some thought into it.
Jinhwan keeps looking in his general direction, more out of a nervous tick than anything, but occasionally, he'd glare at him every time Junhwe snickers into his hand.
It's moments like this where Junhwe has taught himself to keep the loud buzzing in his head to a soft, quiet lull when he's looking at Jinhwan. It's still annoying, but at least it stops him from picturing himself on dates with his partner (They definitely wouldn’t go to Junhwe’s favourite pizza place and then check out a romantic comedy afterwards at the movie theatre down the street. Definitely not).
When the presentation is over, everyone claps and Jinhwan walks over to Junhwe, looking very embarrassed.
"You, don't say anything," Jinhwan mutters when he takes a seat next to him.
"Cute Powerpoint," Junhwe says, anyway, grinning, "I really liked the 'box out' transitions. But I found the clockwise transitions a little dramatic."
"Shut up," Jinhwan hisses and elbows him in the arm, "I spent three hours on that Powerpoint. And another three hours reading about how to put on an engaging presentation. It was mortifying. I haven't done this since high school."
"Relax," Junhwe laughs, "It was a good presentation."
"Really?" Jinhwan asks. It's almost nonchalant the way Jinhwan says it, but Junhwe can tell he's actually curious. There's something genuine in the way Jinhwan's looking at him, like even though the presentation itself meant nothing to him, he still wants to know if he did a good job.
Junhwe just smiles at him, reassuringly, instinctively and says, "Really."
"You're still an ass though," Jinhwan mutters under his breath as Hanbin drones on about the importance of policing. Jinhwan is looking away, but he's smiling.
Then there are moments like this, where things as simple as a small, quiet smile on Jinhwan's face makes Junhwe's head turn into pure, chaotic static.
When Junhwe leaves the conference room, Yunhyeong is already staring at him with this knowing look in his eyes.
"Take a picture, it'll last longer," Junhwe murmurs when he walks past Yunhyeong's desk.
"I understand you're in love with Jinhwan, but you guys need to tone down the flirting," Yunhyeong says, ignoring Junhwe's comment. He rolls his chair towards Junhwe's desk, "It's nauseating to watch."
"Stop," Junhwe snarls, "I'm not in love with him, okay? Now go away. I have a lot of work to do."
"Okay," Yunhyeong shrugs, but it's suspicious the way he resigns so easily to Junhwe's demands. Yunhyeong's about to roll away to his desk, but he stops mid-way and Junhwe thinks, there it is.
"Oh, by the way, I just came here to tell you that Donghyuk told me that Jinhwan stopped seeing Seunghoon... if that helps at all."
The buzzing in Junhwe's head is so loud, it's almost deafening.
Junhwe's already accepted the fact that he has feelings for Jinhwan that aren’t completely platonic, but he's never thought about actually doing anything. In fact, Junhwe keeps reminding himself that they work together, that they’re partners and it would be weird and unprofessional… right?
Before Junhwe has time to think about it, he sees Yunhyeong not so subtly nodding his head towards Jinhwan, who’s walking towards the break room. The expression on Yunhyeong’s face screams this is your chance, don’t mess it up!
Junhwe's body reacts on its own. The next thing he knows he's walking into the break room, where Jinhwan's making a cup of coffee.
Junhwe leans casually against the doorway, "Hey, so I just saw Seunghoon earlier. He's looking a little rough, isn't he? Like, he just finished crying. And not those small, single tears, but really ugly crying."
"Ha-ha," Jinhwan says, rolling his eyes, "He's fine."
"I didn't take you for the heartless type. What happened?" Junhwe asks. He knows he's not being very subtle, but the buzzing in his head could care less about subtlety.
Junhwe watches Jinhwan explain the situation-something about it not being that serious and that it's awkward that they're both cops-but he's not really paying attention, because the buzzing in his head keeps getting louder. Junhwe just wants it to stop, because he can't think, not like this.
So instead of taking the time to recollect his thoughts, he blurts out the first thing that comes to mind: "Do you want to go out with me?"
Unfortunately, Junhwe blurts it out at the exact same time Jinhwan says, "New rule: I don't date cops."
The way Junhwe blurts the question out in a rush of awkward syllables is mortifying in itself, but nothing beats this very awkward, very palpable silence. Junhwe wishes with his entire being that Jinhwan had somehow lost his hearing for the one second that Junhwe made that idiotic mistake. But the lack of confusion on Jinhwan's face and the silence says otherwise.
They don't say anything for a really, really long time. The break room is so eerily silent that Junhwe can hear the clock ticking above them. He can hear Bobby tossing paper balls into the waste basket outside and even the little 'dings!' from Chanwoo's Candy Crush game.
"Oh," is the first thing Jinhwan says after a long, long tortuous silence. It's anti-climatic to say the least.
"Junhwe," Jinhwan starts, but the conflicted expression on his face says everything.
"It's fine, forget I said anything," Junhwe says, words leaving his mouth in a rush. He just wants to leave this room, maybe stab himself with that spoon on the counter, anything to get away from the awkwardness radiating from them both.
"I just," Jinhwan opens and shuts his mouth a couple of times like he's trying to choose the right words. That somehow makes Junhwe feel worse, "I don't want it to be weird at work, you know? That's the whole point."
"So we won't make it weird," Junhwe says, quickly, his voice a little strained. Jinhwan looks unconvinced.
"It's fine," Junhwe says again, "You're right. We work well together and we should just keep it... professional. Sorry, I don't know what I was thinking."
"No, Junhwe, it's not-" Jinhwan says, but he's cut off by Yunhyeong at the doorway, who looks uncharacteristically serious.
"Oh, Yunhyeong, we're just-" Jinhwan starts, but Yunhyeong cuts him off in a hurried, hushed whisper.
"Guys, it's Donghyuk. He's been hurt."
-
The whole squad goes to visit Donghyuk in the hospital. Everyone's palpably tense and the sight of that makes Junhwe uneasy.
Chanwoo is shrinking into himself, throwing small concerned glances at Yunhyeong, who looks like he's about to cry. Hanbin is a tense line next to him, expression solemn, but there's a vein in his neck that juts out angrily. Jinhwan is quiet, head hung low, not meeting anyone's gaze.
But what's most alarming to Junhwe is Bobby. Bobby is livid, something Junhwe's never seen before, not even in the years he's known Bobby before the nine-nine. Bobby gets angry, of course; they all do when they're under the stress and pressure of the job. But not like this. Junhwe can feel Bobby's anger in waves.
Junhwe gets it, can understand why Bobby can't stand still in the elevator, why Bobby keeps flexing his knuckles like he's ready to fight. Bobby's always in a good mood when Donghyuk's around; Donghyuk, who's always laughing and following Bobby around the precinct. But now, suddenly, the doctors are saying things like -the bullet nearly hit a tendon in his leg and he's lucky he can still walk and it's so jarring to Junhwe that he almost feels sick.
Bobby is the first one in the room, making a beeline for the empty chair next to Donghyuk's bed. Donghyuk is asleep, tucked into the sheets. The room is quiet, except for the beeping from the monitor and Bobby's quiet mutterings ("Hyung is here, hyung is here."). Donghyuk looks pale and sick, but Junhwe's never been so relieved to see that he's still breathing and alive.
Hanbin's the first one to leave the room, because he's not equipped for this stuff, Junhwe knows. But surprisingly, he calls after him and Jinhwan to tag along.
When they're out in the hallway, Hanbin sighs, rubbing his face before turning to them, looking more tired than Junhwe's ever seen him.
"I'm reassigning this case to you two," Hanbin says, "I need you to tail this asshole tonight. He has millions of dollars worth of microprocessors and he's making a drop somewhere to a big buyer. The buyer's the one you need to arrest."
"I know you guys don't normally work these cases, but I trust you won't mess this up," Hanbin hands them a manila folder, "Especially not after what happened."
Jinhwan nods, his mouth in a straight line as he looks over the file, most likely already familiarizing himself with the case.
Junhwe feels uncharacteristically nervous and tightly wound, because Donghyuk isn't supposed to be here, not in this hospital with its sterile beds and white walls. Hanbin isn't supposed to be re-assigning this case to them; they're not supposed to be cleaning up after any messes.
But Jinhwan elbows him, gives him this knowing look: we'll be fine, you'll be fine.
Junhwe stops holding so much tension in his shoulders, in his hands. They're both ready as they'll ever be, Junhwe thinks.
Jinhwan elbows him again, "Let's go partner."
-
The thing is Junhwe is definitely ready for a case like this, because he's been mentally preparing himself for his entire career. But what he isn't prepared for is working with a partner, who not only does he have a crush on, but who also rejected him literally a couple of hours ago. So while Junhwe's head is in the game, ready to nail the perp that hurt Donghyuk, he doesn't know how "professional" he can keep it with Jinhwan.
Their perp, a tall wiry man named Song Minho, had stopped at a fancy restaurant-one with gleaming floor-to-ceiling windows and soft, ambient lighting-to have dinner with a woman, who Junhwe assumes is his sister. The detour had caught them off guard, but Jinhwan quickly decided that they needed to follow him into the restaurant, to keep a close eye on him. Having dinner at a nice-five star restaurant with his partner while battling a terrible inner conflict about his feelings for said partner wasn't exactly on Junhwe's agenda for tonight, but the plan is easy enough: be as discreet as possible. Thankfully, that’s something Junhwe can do.
But the plan backfires just a tad when the hostess places them at a table right next to Minho and his date. So much for being inconspicuous.
It's fine, Junhwe thinks. They've been up close and personal to their perps before. All they have to do now is play it cool .
But surprisingly for the first time, Jinhwan isn't on the same page as him. When Junhwe says "play it cool", he means having a completely normal, platonic dinner with Jinhwan until Minho decides to leave so they can tail him to the buyer. Jinhwan, on the other hand, thinks "playing it cool" means starting up a slightly forced conversation with Minho's date, Danah, for no reason and blowing their very last chance at being discreet.
Okay, this is weird, but still fine, Junhwe thinks again, because Jinhwan's like this with everybody; friendly, easy-going, talkative. Maybe Jinhwan has a plan that Junhwe hasn't quite caught on yet.
But it gets even weirder, because he suddenly hears Jinhwan blurt out: "Yes, we're celebrating our anniversary." Junhwe almost chokes on his water. He does a double take at Jinhwan, who shows him the faintest sign of a shrug and looks almost as bewildered as Junhwe feels. At this point, Junhwe has no fucking clue what Jinhwan is doing.
"Aw, that's so nice," Danah says, smiling at the both of them, "Isn't that nice, Minho?" Danah looks to her brother, who nods disinterestedly as he types rapidly on his phone.
Danah rolls her eyes, "Excuse him, he's always like this. Anyway, how long have you been together?"
"Four years," Jinhwan says. He's recovering quickly, way ahead of Junhwe, who's still gaping at him, "Isn't that right... babe?"
Junhwe cringes at the pet name, palms suddenly sweating. But he nods and smiles tightly at Danah, "Yeah. Five years this May."
"Wow," Danah says and Junhwe can't tell if she's truly amazed or if she's just feigning politeness, "That's so sweet. Where did you two meet?"
"At a parking meter outside a police station. Junhwe didn't know how to pay for parking. Still doesn't, really," Jinhwan replies. This catches Junhwe off guard. He wasn't expecting much of an answer, maybe something cheesy like they met at a Starbucks, but he wasn't expecting the truth. Jinhwan quickly glances over at him and Junhwe can see his face turning pink. Well... that's new.
"Now, here's a question," Danah says, leaning in close. Across from her, Minho rolls his eyes, still on his phone, "How did you know he was the one?"
For once, in this entire conversation, Jinhwan looks like he's at a loss for words. Jinhwan looks at him, nervously, asking for help, "Babe? You want to take this one?"
"Uh." If he was feeling overwhelmed and panicked before, it's nothing compared to what he's feeling now. He looks at Jinhwan, who waits, almost expectantly.
Junhwe realizes that being genuine isn't the concern here, because there are plenty of things he can say. But that doesn't mean he wants to say any of it, especially to Jinhwan's face. Unfortunately, Junhwe doesn't have much of a choice, because Jinhwan's not the only one waiting. Danah is looking at him and even Minho has averted his gaze from his phone to Junhwe.
It's fine. He's a dignified detective, who's just going to blurt out how he feels about his partner in front of said partner, the perp and the perp's nosy sister. This is for professional, work-related purposes, Junhwe tells himself.
Junhwe huffs out a sigh and says hesitantly, "He's the first person I want to share things with. Good or bad."
There's a look of surprise on Jinhwan's face, but it's very faint, very contained, something only Junhwe catches. Jinhwan's also smiling a little, trying to hide it behind his glass of water. It's that quiet smile again that Junhwe's seen before. But at this point, he doesn't know what to make of it. Instead, he focuses his energy on not turning red in the face with embarrassment.
"Hey, sis, I’m going to go talk to the chef," Minho says before Danah can react. Junhwe's taken aback when Minho talks; it's the first thing he's said since they sat down. Minho hands Danah a cellphone, "Here, tell Taehyun to bring the car around." With that, he disappears to the back, carrying the briefcase with him.
"I'm going to the bathroom," Junhwe says, quickly, getting up from his seat.
Jinhwan gives him a pointed look as if telling him to stay put. But Junhwe needs to leave, not only because he wants to catch their perp, but to get away from how weird this night has turned out.
"I'll be back, babe," Junhwe says. Jinhwan doesn't look pleased at all.
When Junhwe reaches the open door of the kitchen, he sees Minho talking in hushed voices to the chef, clutching onto his briefcase. It feels a little anti-climatic, because Junhwe was sure that "talking to the chef" was code for "gotta sell these microprocessors and get filthy rich while also destroying the world." But it looks like Minho is, well, actually talking to the chef.
Minho looks up suddenly and catches sight of him. Shit, Junhwe thinks, shit, shit, shit. Okay, relax, maybe Minho didn't see him. But he sees Minho finishing up his conversation and now he’s walking in Junhwe's direction.
Great, he’s fucked. He can't run; that'll look too suspicious. Maybe he'll pretend he was looking for the bathroom-
Before Junhwe can come up with a plan, someone spins him around and pins him against the wall. It takes a fraction of a second for Junhwe to register that it's Jinhwan, but the next thing he knows, Junhwe has his hands resting instinctively against the small of Jinhwan's back, Jinhwan's mouth planted firmly on his. It's a hard kiss, more like a calculated crush of lips, but Jinhwan is soft and warm against him, making it hard for Junhwe to care about anything else.
They break apart when Minho clears his throat.
"Oh, sorry," Jinhwan says. He's a little out of breath. There's a flush creeping up Jinhwan's neck and his ears are pink, something Junhwe's never seen before, "We're just celebrating."
"By kissing," Junhwe blurts out. Apparently, kissing Jinhwan has made him lose all of his inhibitions. Jinhwan glares at him.
Luckily, Minho doesn't seem to notice. He just smiles at them and says, "Ah, young love. I understand. Enjoy." And he walks off towards the exit.
"Good call... on the kissing," Junhwe says, awkwardly, "Very professional. Very appropriate." His own rambling gives him a chance to let it sink in that Jinhwan kissed him, but not enough for him to figure out what the hell it all means.
"Let's just go, please," Jinhwan's voice is steady, but he looks flustered for once. There's a shine on his face, like he's been sweating. It distracts Junhwe a little.
Without another word, they leave the restaurant, trailing after Minho.
-
The car ride tailing Minho had been awkwardly silent. They hadn't said much since they left the restaurant and Junhwe tells himself that it's their determination to catch their perp that's got them so quiet, so focused. But that's never happened in the four years that they've been working together. Usually, Junhwe's the one talking, but at this point, he doesn't know what to say.
They're crouching behind a tree in a dimly lit park, surveilling an isolated bench, where the briefcase sits, waiting.
"So this is exciting, huh?" Junhwe says in a very bad attempt at making conversation.
"Your cool stakeout bag would've been handy," Jinhwan replies, but he's clearly distracted.
It's silent again, something that happens now more often than not.
Junhwe has always imagined that he'd be working these cases with Jinhwan. And he is; that much is true. But he never expected their first serious case together to play out like this, with this weird, uncomfortable silence hanging in the air between them. Junhwe's never had to tip toe around Jinhwan before and he takes it as a bad sign when he finds himself doing it now. It's definitely not something he wants to get used to.
"Hey," Junhwe starts, hesitantly, "Are we okay?"
Jinhwan looks taken aback at the question, like he wasn't expecting Junhwe to ask him that of all things, "Yeah. Of course. Why wouldn't we be?"
"It's just... This feels a little weird and I know we said we wouldn't make it weird, but... it is," Junhwe rambles, "And I'm sorry for that...if I made it weird."
"Don't apologize," Jinhwan says, firmly, "It's not your fault. It's been a weird night in general."
Yes, a weird night brought on by the fact that Junhwe had to open his stupid mouth and ask Jinhwan a stupid question brought on by his stupid feelings.
"We should just focus on the case," Jinhwan says. It sounds serious, polite almost, which doesn't sit well with Junhwe, because polite isn't something they do, not with each other.
"Right. Okay, well, just give me a heads up if you plan on kissing me again." He doesn't really know why he says it. It's supposed to be a lighthearted attempt at diffusing the tension. But now that Junhwe hears it, it doesn't really diffuse anything.
But Jinhwan actually looks a little sheepish at that. Jinhwan opens his mouth to answer, but a figure in a grey suit is walking towards the park bench and he's eyeing the briefcase. The man takes a seat on the bench, keeping his distance as if not to look too suspicious.
"This guy's taking a walk in the park at like, 10PM in a suit," Junhwe scoffs, "How is that not suspicious?"
Junhwe's a lot louder than he thinks, because the man turns slightly towards their general direction.
Instinctively, Junhwe reaches out and pulls Jinhwan closer, their bodies pressed flush together. It's a little awkward, because Jinhwan's face ends up squashed against his chest and Junhwe's chin hits the top of his head. But Jinhwan's so close to him that Junhwe can feel the body heat radiating from him; can smell the lingering scent of Jinhwan's cologne.
They stand like that for only a second, but Junhwe can feel Jinhwan's fingers flexing in the fabric of his shirt like he has no idea if he should hold on or if he should keep his hands to himself. Jinhwan surprisingly settles for the former. Junhwe tries not to think about it too much.
"Are we good?" Jinhwan mumbles into Junhwe's chest.
When Junhwe peeks out from behind the tree, he sees the buyer pick up the briefcase.
"He's picking up the briefcase," Junhwe says, "We gotta move."
"You kind of have to let go of me first," Jinhwan mumbles again.
"Right," Junhwe says, automatically letting his arms drop to his side. He hadn't realized how tightly he was holding Jinhwan until the tension is gone from his arms. Jinhwan looks disoriented, still very much in Junhwe's personal space, so close that Junhwe can see the heart-shaped mole under his eye.
"Okay, let's go," Jinhwan says, quickly. Junhwe nods.
"NYPD! Freeze!" Junhwe yells, pulling his gun and badge out from his holster.
The buyer looks surprised as he instinctively raises his hands up in the air, holding the briefcase.
"Freeze? Really?" Jinhwan says from beside him, mimicking his stance.
"What am I supposed to say? Stop?" Junhwe mutters, indignantly.
"Put the briefcase down slowly," Jinhwan says to the buyer, voice steely, "And keep your hands where we can see them."
Everything happens so fast that Junhwe doesn't have the time to register it all. One minute, the buyer is slowly placing the briefcase on the ground and Junhwe's sighing in relief, because it's finally over. But the next thing he knows, Junhwe hears two loud bangs that make his ears ring and suddenly the buyer is on the ground. Junhwe realizes belatedly that the second bang had come from his gun. His hands are trembling as he lowers his gun and looks over, the buyer's body in a heap on the ground.
"Holy fuck," Junhwe exhales a shaky breath, "Did I kill him? Did I just kill him?"
"Junhwe," Jinhwan croaks out. Junhwe’s veins fill with ice, because there's something that feels very wrong.
When Junhwe looks over, Jinhwan is grasping his arm, tightly, half his body leaning towards one side, limp. Jinhwan pulls his hand away and all Junhwe sees is red.
-
Junhwe doesn't leave Jinhwan's side even when he's being treated by the paramedics. The squad shows up a little bit after, everyone flocking to Jinhwan with worried hands and panicked expressions. Hanbin pats Junhwe on the shoulder and tells him he hit the buyer square in the shoulder, but the buyer's still alive and he's been apprehended. It's about as close as Hanbin gets to a thank you, but Junhwe takes it anyway.
They find out it's mostly a flesh wound, but the paramedics carry Jinhwan on a stretcher, because he doesn't look too good. Jinhwan keeps insisting he's fine and doesn't need help, even though Junhwe can tell the flesh wound hurts more than he's letting on.
When they're at the hospital, the doctors put Jinhwan in a room for some checkups, but mostly to rest. It’s not that serious, but it's better if Jinhwan doesn't try to move too much in the next twenty-four hours, because Junhwe finds out that he’s overworked.
It takes a bit of time for the adrenaline to wear off, but once it does, Junhwe feels shaken, sick. It's the same panicky feeling he had when he visited Donghyuk, but it grips him even harder, vice-like.
When the doctor comes out of Jinhwan’s room, giving Junhwe the go-ahead, the first thing Jinhwan says when he walks into the room is, "You got me flowers."
Jinhwan’s stating an obvious fact, but there's a hint of surprise and fondness in his tone that makes Junhwe's face feel hot.
Junhwe's aware the flowers are a tad cliché, but he feels terrible, guilty. He keeps replaying the moment over and over again in his head; Jinhwan’s pale face, his panicked expression and all the blood. Jinhwan kept reassuring him that it wasn’t his fault, that this was something out of Junhwe’s control. But it’s hard to believe him when Junhwe keeps imagining what it would’ve been like if the bullet hadn’t hit Jinhwan in the arm, if the bullet had landed two spaces over. It gets worse when Junhwe thinks about the fact that he could’ve prevented the whole thing if he wasn’t so focused on not making it awkward between them, something he shouldn’t have been thinking about in the first place. For once in his entire career, he agrees with the hypothetical Hanbin that he draws in his mind, the one that easily would've lectured him about inappropriate work relationships and would've warned him about this exact situation.
Jinhwan's propped up on some pillows, tucked snugly into the sheets, wearing an ugly hospital gown and a heavy-looking arm sling. But he looks fine, healthier, whole. Junhwe feels himself visibly deflating with relief.
"Blue. My favourite colour. That's cute," Jinhwan sounds very tired. The IV drips steadily next to him.
"I got them at the gift shop downstairs literally two minutes ago," Junhwe says, placing the hydrangeas on the table next to Jinhwan's bed, "I tried."
"Still cute," Jinhwan mutters, sleepily.
Even though Junhwe feels relieved, his body is still tense, pressed into a straight rigid line. Jinhwan looks over at him and notices the way he’s sitting. Even when Jinhwan's hopped up on the painkillers, he can still read Junhwe's expressions almost too well.
"You look like you've been through hell and you didn't even leave with a scratch."
Junhwe must look guilty at that, because Jinhwan says quickly, "I'm kidding. I'm fine. We're fine. I'm glad you're here."
When Junhwe opens his mouth to speak, Jinhwan’s already shaking his head at him.
“If you’re going to apologize again, forget it. Either you talk and leave or you shut up and stay. Personally, I would prefer the latter,” Jinhwan is smiling widely at him. Even with how awful he feels, Junhwe finds it hard not to smile back.
Junhwe settles into the stiff chair and makes a show of prompting his feet on Jinhwan's bed. When Jinhwan glares at him half-heartedly, Junhwe shrugs, "What? I'm shutting up, but if I'm staying too, I might as well get comfortable."
"You're a good kid," Jinhwan says, unexpectedly.
"And you're on drugs," Junhwe says, but he's grinning.
"That's hyung to you," Jinhwan mutters incoherently under his breath. Junhwe knows he’s far gone when he starts referring to himself as ‘hyung’, "Hyung is on drugs. Painkillers."
"You're terrible. Go to sleep."
-
When Junhwe wakes up the next morning, there's this horrible crick in his neck from sleeping in a wooden, rickety chair all night. It takes him a little while to register where he is. But when he sees the hydrangeas in a vase on the table next to Jinhwan's bed, he remembers he's in the hospital.
Junhwe rubs his face, feeling tired and grimy. He notices the bed is empty. For a moment, Junhwe panics. He has a momentary lapse in memory, doesn't remember what happens and more importantly, doesn’t know if Jinhwan is okay. But he hears the sink running in the adjacent room and he becomes a little less fidgety.
"Morning," Jinhwan says when he steps out of the bathroom. Jinhwan's still in the hospital gown, but the bandages under the arm sling look new. He looks calm, collected, brighter even, "How'd you sleep?"
"Not as well as you did," Junhwe says, stretching, "You look... better."
"Yeah," Jinhwan smiles. There's a pause where Jinhwan looks contemplative. Then he says, "Hey, take a walk with me."
The hallways are relatively empty, save for a few patients and doctors. The silence between them doesn't feel as tense or as uncomfortable anymore, which makes Junhwe feel lighter than he has in a while. But Junhwe wonders what this means now, whether he should pretend that nothing happened between them or if he should say something about it, clear the air. Junhwe really doesn't want to do either, not now anyway when there's a weariness in his bones that he's in desperate need of shaking off.
They're standing in front of a vending machine and Junhwe watches Jinhwan decide between two soft drinks. He suddenly feels very sentimental, the cheesy kind of sentimental that makes him want to tell Jinhwan that he's grateful he's alive, well and breathing.
"Hey, listen," Junhwe says when Jinhwan's distracted, because it's easier when Jinhwan isn't looking at him, "I'm, uh... glad you're okay. I was really worried about ... you know, your well-being... as your partner-uh, work partner. And I know things have been kind of weird between us, but I honestly don't know what I would do-"
There's a light thud as the bottle is dispensed. Junhwe goes to pick it up, about to avert the topic to making a point about Jinhwan's terrible sugary cravings, about to suggest that Jinhwan should've gotten apple juice instead, something easier to digest. But when he hands over the bottle, Jinhwan's looking at him, expression soft, thoughtful.
"What?" Junhwe asks when Jinhwan doesn't say anything.
"Just giving you a heads up," Jinhwan says finally and Junhwe can't help the way his eyes flicker to Jinhwan's mouth, his palms suddenly sweaty, "But I'm going to kiss you now."
"Okay," Junhwe says, lamely and he'd be more embarrassed about it, about how eager he sounds, but Jinhwan is suddenly standing very close to him and Junhwe's mind goes blank. Even with the forewarning, there's no way Junhwe can mentally prepare himself for this, for Jinhwan pressing against him, for Jinhwan’s hand on the back of his neck, pulling him in.
Jinhwan is warm and pliant underneath him and he tastes faintly like mint toothpaste. The kiss is chaste and slow, but Junhwe can't seem to still his hands, pressing his fingers into Jinhwan's hip bone, sliding his hands up Jinhwan’s side.
When they break apart, Jinhwan's breath hitches a little.
“So much for not dating cops, huh?” Jinhwan says, absentmindedly, his cheeks pink.
"I like you," Junhwe blurts out, and this time there's no awkwardness, no regret, not when Jinhwan's looking up at him through his eyelashes.
"I know, you idiot. I’m a detective,” Jinhwan says, rolling his eyes, but he's smiling at Junhwe, eyes crinkling in the corners, "I like you too. Sorry it took me a while to figure that out."
It takes a while for Junhwe to register the words, but when he does, he grins and says, "You have time to make it up to me."
Before Jinhwan can say anything, a flash suddenly goes off. They both turn their heads at the same time, still pressed close to each other. It's the entire squad, of course, crammed into the narrow hospital hallway, whooping and cheering. Bobby is wolf whistling and even Hanbin is slow clapping.
"Finally!" Yunhyeong exclaims from under Hanbin's arm, “Took you two long enough.”
"No pictures, please," Jinhwan says, wearily when the flash goes off again. Bobby looks very smug.
"Not a chance," Bobby says, eyes glued to the screen of his phone, "I'm sending these to Donghyuk. I didn't want to leave him, but Yunhyeong said you guys finally did it."
There's the sound of a phone ringing, some crackling and finally, Donghyuk's voice chirps through the speaker phone.
"Is this really happening? Are these photos real or did Bobby photoshop them again? Hello? Can someone please tell me what's happening? Why did you all leave me here if you're not going to give me anything?"
"Jinhwan and Junhwe are boning," Hanbin says matter-of-factly into the phone and Junhwe can feel Jinhwan shriveling up next to him.
There's a ruckus of noise after that-Yunhyeong lecturing Hanbin about not using the word boning in front of Chanwoo, Bobby insisting they celebrate with drinks, Donghyuk yelling through the speakerphone. It's too loud, chaotic and definitely not appropriate for a hospital setting, but Junhwe doesn’t notice. Instead, the only thing he notices is Jinhwan, grabbing onto his hand, interlocking their fingers.
"This is mortifying," Jinhwan says, frowning, "We need to leave before I throw this arm sling at Bobby."
Junhwe looks down at their hands, can feel Jinhwan's pulse against his palm and grins, "Let's go partner."