RP LOG with surgeonshands | Something's Wrong
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Initially, Dave had agreed to coffee and a chat when Bella suggested it, and it was even going to be her shout. She never anticipated he would stand her up with no less than seven minutes notice via text message. She had sat in the coffee shop at Miami Beach looking at her iPhone with the extremely vague text message from Dave telling her he wasn’t coming. Basically a thanks but no thanks, which was fine, only there were no further attempts to make another time or even an excuse as to why he couldn’t make this time. She had literally sat there dumbfounded for five minutes trying to work it out, only he had been hardly forthcoming to agree initially anyway. All it did was serve to worry her about him even more, to the point she cornered Aimee in the corridor when she had come over to examine Chris with Sable. All Aimee would glean on the situation was, however, that Dave hadn’t been himself lately and that there tension between them both because of it. She was apologetic that she couldn’t elaborate for Bella, explaining that it was Dave’s place to do that if he wanted or needed to. Then she made a hasty escape, and Bella had highly suspected the poor resident was about to cry.
It was the morning after when she was writing up Rick’s discharge summary that she nearly fell out of her desk chair when a knock at her office door turned out to be Dave himself. He looked terrible. For a moment, even, Bella got scared that something had happened to Lisa, but it was a silly panic considering she knew her new nurse was down on the wall doing an obs round and probably trying to scope out Drew Warren. Bella was observant, and some things were just obvious if you looked close enough. And other things were obvious without even barely needing a second glance. “Dave,” she said quietly, getting up off her chair to come over to him. “You’re not okay, are you?” she added, gently taking his arm and pulling him into the office to close the door behind him.
“I don’t think so,” Dave admitted in a mumble. “Something’s not right... I just don’t really know what.” His way into the hospital had been via the fire stairs, which was stupid considering how exhausted he was. He just didn’t want to go via Cardiovascular, or Oncology, or Surgical. He didn’t want to run into anyone who would ask questions, he didn’t want to talk to anyone except Bella. Hell, if he ran into his sister, he would probably end up breaking down and losing it. He didn’t want that either. “Can I sit down, please?”
“Of course, sweetheart,” Bella replied in concern, leading him over to one of the consult chairs. She got him a cup of water from her cooler and then came to sit on the chair beside him, watching him with concern. “Just so I don’t completely put my foot in anything or piss you off, is this a professional consult or you just need a friendly ear? I can offer both, I just want to make sure I have the right one before I start sticking thermometers in your ear or pricking you with needles if it’s just the latter you need.” Things were on a different level with them not considering the progression of things with Chris and Rick, and the fact his sister was her nurse. Not to mention the fact he had been the one who diagnosed her pregnancy, even if it was completely by accident. She was his doctor, but she also considered them friends. She put her hand on his back and rubbed his softly as she watched his face intently for any sign of what was wrong.
Dave sipped the water gratefully and then exhaled shakily. “I wish I could say it’s the latter, but I think it’s both. Before I say anything more, though, I want you to promise to me that you don’t talk about any of this to anyone,” he said, meeting her gaze intently. “Not even in passing.”
Bella felt her heart sink. She knew exactly what he meant here, and she had to agree. He was entitled to doctor-patient confidentiality just as much as anyone else. Probably even more so considering how tight-knit their support network was. He had kept her secret, and now it really was time to return that favour. She nodded. “Of course. You have my complete confidence, Dave. I promise you that. Whatever is said stays in this office. You don’t need to worry about your privacy just because we have mutual friends. Now please, tell me what’s wrong,” she urged.
“I...” Dave began, but he had to stop before he barely even started. A wash of dizziness washed over him coupled with a flushed feeling. “I’m going to throw up,” he warned her, putting his fingers to his lips as he scrambled to stand up, spilling the water over the corner of her desk.
Bella moved quickly, bolting to grab a sick bag from the dispenser on her wall. She shook it out and pressed it into his hand, putting her hand on his shoulder to show him he didn’t need to try and make a dash for the bathroom that he likely wouldn’t make. Definitely wouldn’t make, she realised when Dave barely had the bag in his possession before he was sick. “If it’s any consolation, I know the feeling,” she told him sympathetically, sitting back down so she could rub his back again. She didn’t care about the spilled water. It could wait. After a moment of thought, she put her hand over his forehead to check for a fever, finding that he was definitely warm and with a frown, she got up to get her thermometer from her treatment trolley. He was still vomiting when she carefully put it in his ear and the reading told her he had a fever of 100.8. “I could have come to see you at home, you know. Is this why you cancelled our coffee date yesterday? You should be in bed. I know for a fact that there are some nasty stomach bugs going around at the moment.”
“Bella, stop,” Dave said hoarsely, glancing up at her as he swallowed thickly. “I’ve been feeling crappy for weeks. I just didn’t say anything because of everything going on with Chris and Rick. It was... bearable. I kept telling myself it would just go away, that I was just stressed. But I know my own body, and I know something’s not right. I need your help.”
Bella sighed helplessly. For someone who prided herself as an Oncologist not to encourage delusions, she was certainly making a good attempt at it now. But she could see in his eyes something wasn’t right. “You haven’t told Aimee this, have you?” she realised quietly.
Dave gave a small, slow shake of his head and closed his eyes briefly. “I haven’t told anyone, and I don’t plan on it either.”
“Dave...” Bella tried again, feeling like her heart just dropped somewhere down near her feet. “You can’t do this on your own. I understand that you’re feeling like you don’t want to intercept anything with Chris and Rick, but at least talk to Lisa. She’s your sister. You can confide in her.”
“Bella, I’m only gonna ask you this once. Please, respect my wishes,” Dave murmured tiredly. There was no way he was going to put his family through anything until he knew there was something. Right now, he just didn’t know anything beyond something not being right. He needed help, but he wasn’t going to scare his family shitless in the process. Now he knew that Chris was on the mend and safe in the hands of his family and Serena, Dave could steer clear and back off. It was just one of the hardest things to go through right now, showing up at his oncologist’s office to tell her he was fearing something was wrong. He had deluded himself too long. The truth was, there should be no reason why he couldn’t keep up the pace of his job as well as Chris and the rest of the Alpha team managed... save for the fact his health was ailing.
Despite the fact Bella felt like she had just walked head-first into a brick wall at how helpless she felt for him right now, she nodded and gently took the soiled bag off him to hand him a clean one. “Let me call for your file. You can tell me what’s not been feeling right,” she told him and went to get rid of the bag in her contaminated waste. Then she put a quick call in to Medical Records and requested Dave’s file be brought up to her urgently , but she wasn’t going to make him wait for that. She took a couple of sheets of blank clinical notes from her draw and came back to sit beside him, taking her pen from her lab coat pocket. “When did it start?” she prompted.
“Um,” Dave started and pressed his fingers against his forehead in an attempt to get his brain to function more than it had over the last few days. “I guess I haven’t felt completely right since I started on Alpha. I just don’t know if that is when it started, or if it was the increased hours and workload that alerted me to the fact I wasn’t feeling the best. Then I just thought it was stress and worry for Chris. All I wanted to do was help him through the whole terrifying prospect of Rick’s cancer, but I don’t think I was the right person for the job. Maybe I was just deluded in thinking I could come back to Florida after all this time and things be the same between Chris and me like they were when we were in college. The truth is, we’ve hardly been on the same page since I got here. He’s still my best mate and I still love him like the brother I never had, but when the shit hit the fan, it just seemed to get harder to try and make up for lost time. That’s all irrelevant, though. My point is, I’ve been stressed, so it was easy to just think that was why I was so tired.”
“At least we can be pretty confident that you’re not pregnant,” Bella joked, trying to show him that she wasn’t going to keep trying to railroad him into things he wasn’t ready to face. “So, it was just a lethargy and malaise that it started as? What other symptoms, and when did they start? Because we both know you’re a doctor here, too. You wouldn’t be sitting here with me if it was just malaise that was bothering you.”
Dave managed a small smirk at her joke. “I think I would have to be one hell of an awesome doctor to pull off a male pregnancy. You’ve not been having a good time of it?” He sat forward a little and took some of the tissues from the box on her desk, wiping up some of the water he had spilled, just to give him something to do with his hands. “No, not just lethargy. It’s the... what I was talking to you about before. The trouble getting it up. The thing is, I don’t know if that is a symptom or not, or just leftover from the chemo. Aimee’s the first girl I’ve been with since before I got sick. I had a girlfriend when I was diagnosed, but she couldn’t handle it the prospect of it all and we broke up. All I know is that since Aimee and I started having sex, I’ve had issues. Not continuous. Sometimes it works, other times I have no hope. Then the day before yesterday, we were... being intimate, about to have sex, everything was going fine, which was a surprise, considering how tired I was. But then she went to put the condom on and she was teasing me, and I think she must’ve... squeezed or rubbed or something, but I know Aimee and she wouldn’t be rough. It just sent this unbelievable streak of pain through my balls. It was so bad, I thought I was going to throw up and then there was a weird pain in my lower stomach. Probably not dissimilar to the pains you would get if you have diarrhoea, I guess, but it wasn’t that. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it, and now I can see that there have been times at work lately where I’ve been getting a bit of pain in my gut and lower back. Usually on long shifts, so I just thought it was being on my feet so much. Now, I’ve just been feeling sick on and off for the past couple of days, and I feel like I keep spiking fevers. No matter what I do, I can’t shake this exhaustion. I freaked out and went back to my place after that happened with Aimee. I lay down on the bed, thinking I would just lie there for a few minutes to get the pain to go away, and I crashed out without even changing my clothes. I slept for sixteen hours. Then, sometime around ten this morning, I just realised enough was enough. Who the fuck am I kidding? Pain in my groin and stomach? It’s right where the lymph nodes are.”
“I’m fine, Dave,” Bella murmured, not letting the conversation linger on her pregnancy for too long. He was here because he needed help. They weren’t going to talk about her. She had been noting down everything he was saying and now she put her pen down and met his gaze again. She didn’t get a chance to say anything before there was a knock on her office door and she got up to answer it. Apparently Medical Records had delivered Dave’s file to the nurses’ station, and thank god it was in a concealed envelope, but it was Lisa bringing it to her. Bella kept the door mostly closed behind her so Lisa wouldn’t be able to see her brother in there and she smiled, thanking her for the file before Lisa told her it was no bother and went back to her work. Bella tore the envelope open and pulled Dave’s record out to set it on her desk. “Okay, this is what we’re going to do. I want to take some bloods and urine, then I’ll give you a physical exam, see if I can feel anything obviously amiss. We’ll decide where to take it from there. Do you want to do this now, or do you want to make an appointment to come back and see me tomorrow? We can give you the full mark up.”
Dave felt a strange shiver of déjà vu creep over his skin, and indeed his arms broke out in goose bumps. “Now,” he replied quietly.
Bella went over and got him a gown with a robe from her cupboard along with a specimen jar, bringing them over to him. “You know the drill. Just give me two seconds.” She picked up her phone and hit the connect button to her personal assistant. “Leah, I’m going to be unavailable for the next hour or so in an urgent consult. Can you do me a favour and ask Lisa to go up to Cardiology and get that patient history from the new admission? I was going to get her to go after lunch, but I need the history before booking the consult. She’ll need to speak to the Cardio admitting nurse also, get her hands on any path or radiology that’s already been taken so we don’t put the patient through unnecessary double-ups. Thanks.” She hung the phone up. “Give it long enough for the message to get to Lisa, and the coast should be clear. You can use the staff bathroom to get changed and get the sample.”
Dave felt a heavy sense of guilt engulf him and he gripped his hand around the specimen jar. “Do you think I’m a horrible brother for not talking to her?”
Bella shook her head with a small, understanding smile. “Not at all, love. I’m in no position to judge. I haven’t told my brother or my family that I’m pregnant yet. I can’t seem to find the right time. I used up all my balls telling Rick. I’m praying that we find nothing here and you’re just down with a flu or something, but if we do, Dave, you need to not do this on your own.”
Dave stood up with a sigh, hugging the gown to his chest as he made his way to the door. “I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. If I try and think about that now, I’ll lose it. I’m barely holding it together as it is.” With another small shake of his head, he exited his office to head to the bathroom. It was probably a small miracle that he didn’t keep walking and bolt in terror from the hospital without looking back.
Word Count | 2,898
Initially, Dave had agreed to coffee and a chat when Bella suggested it, and it was even going to be her shout. She never anticipated he would stand her up with no less than seven minutes notice via text message. She had sat in the coffee shop at Miami Beach looking at her iPhone with the extremely vague text message from Dave telling her he wasn’t coming. Basically a thanks but no thanks, which was fine, only there were no further attempts to make another time or even an excuse as to why he couldn’t make this time. She had literally sat there dumbfounded for five minutes trying to work it out, only he had been hardly forthcoming to agree initially anyway. All it did was serve to worry her about him even more, to the point she cornered Aimee in the corridor when she had come over to examine Chris with Sable. All Aimee would glean on the situation was, however, that Dave hadn’t been himself lately and that there tension between them both because of it. She was apologetic that she couldn’t elaborate for Bella, explaining that it was Dave’s place to do that if he wanted or needed to. Then she made a hasty escape, and Bella had highly suspected the poor resident was about to cry.
It was the morning after when she was writing up Rick’s discharge summary that she nearly fell out of her desk chair when a knock at her office door turned out to be Dave himself. He looked terrible. For a moment, even, Bella got scared that something had happened to Lisa, but it was a silly panic considering she knew her new nurse was down on the wall doing an obs round and probably trying to scope out Drew Warren. Bella was observant, and some things were just obvious if you looked close enough. And other things were obvious without even barely needing a second glance. “Dave,” she said quietly, getting up off her chair to come over to him. “You’re not okay, are you?” she added, gently taking his arm and pulling him into the office to close the door behind him.
“I don’t think so,” Dave admitted in a mumble. “Something’s not right... I just don’t really know what.” His way into the hospital had been via the fire stairs, which was stupid considering how exhausted he was. He just didn’t want to go via Cardiovascular, or Oncology, or Surgical. He didn’t want to run into anyone who would ask questions, he didn’t want to talk to anyone except Bella. Hell, if he ran into his sister, he would probably end up breaking down and losing it. He didn’t want that either. “Can I sit down, please?”
“Of course, sweetheart,” Bella replied in concern, leading him over to one of the consult chairs. She got him a cup of water from her cooler and then came to sit on the chair beside him, watching him with concern. “Just so I don’t completely put my foot in anything or piss you off, is this a professional consult or you just need a friendly ear? I can offer both, I just want to make sure I have the right one before I start sticking thermometers in your ear or pricking you with needles if it’s just the latter you need.” Things were on a different level with them not considering the progression of things with Chris and Rick, and the fact his sister was her nurse. Not to mention the fact he had been the one who diagnosed her pregnancy, even if it was completely by accident. She was his doctor, but she also considered them friends. She put her hand on his back and rubbed his softly as she watched his face intently for any sign of what was wrong.
Dave sipped the water gratefully and then exhaled shakily. “I wish I could say it’s the latter, but I think it’s both. Before I say anything more, though, I want you to promise to me that you don’t talk about any of this to anyone,” he said, meeting her gaze intently. “Not even in passing.”
Bella felt her heart sink. She knew exactly what he meant here, and she had to agree. He was entitled to doctor-patient confidentiality just as much as anyone else. Probably even more so considering how tight-knit their support network was. He had kept her secret, and now it really was time to return that favour. She nodded. “Of course. You have my complete confidence, Dave. I promise you that. Whatever is said stays in this office. You don’t need to worry about your privacy just because we have mutual friends. Now please, tell me what’s wrong,” she urged.
“I...” Dave began, but he had to stop before he barely even started. A wash of dizziness washed over him coupled with a flushed feeling. “I’m going to throw up,” he warned her, putting his fingers to his lips as he scrambled to stand up, spilling the water over the corner of her desk.
Bella moved quickly, bolting to grab a sick bag from the dispenser on her wall. She shook it out and pressed it into his hand, putting her hand on his shoulder to show him he didn’t need to try and make a dash for the bathroom that he likely wouldn’t make. Definitely wouldn’t make, she realised when Dave barely had the bag in his possession before he was sick. “If it’s any consolation, I know the feeling,” she told him sympathetically, sitting back down so she could rub his back again. She didn’t care about the spilled water. It could wait. After a moment of thought, she put her hand over his forehead to check for a fever, finding that he was definitely warm and with a frown, she got up to get her thermometer from her treatment trolley. He was still vomiting when she carefully put it in his ear and the reading told her he had a fever of 100.8. “I could have come to see you at home, you know. Is this why you cancelled our coffee date yesterday? You should be in bed. I know for a fact that there are some nasty stomach bugs going around at the moment.”
“Bella, stop,” Dave said hoarsely, glancing up at her as he swallowed thickly. “I’ve been feeling crappy for weeks. I just didn’t say anything because of everything going on with Chris and Rick. It was... bearable. I kept telling myself it would just go away, that I was just stressed. But I know my own body, and I know something’s not right. I need your help.”
Bella sighed helplessly. For someone who prided herself as an Oncologist not to encourage delusions, she was certainly making a good attempt at it now. But she could see in his eyes something wasn’t right. “You haven’t told Aimee this, have you?” she realised quietly.
Dave gave a small, slow shake of his head and closed his eyes briefly. “I haven’t told anyone, and I don’t plan on it either.”
“Dave...” Bella tried again, feeling like her heart just dropped somewhere down near her feet. “You can’t do this on your own. I understand that you’re feeling like you don’t want to intercept anything with Chris and Rick, but at least talk to Lisa. She’s your sister. You can confide in her.”
“Bella, I’m only gonna ask you this once. Please, respect my wishes,” Dave murmured tiredly. There was no way he was going to put his family through anything until he knew there was something. Right now, he just didn’t know anything beyond something not being right. He needed help, but he wasn’t going to scare his family shitless in the process. Now he knew that Chris was on the mend and safe in the hands of his family and Serena, Dave could steer clear and back off. It was just one of the hardest things to go through right now, showing up at his oncologist’s office to tell her he was fearing something was wrong. He had deluded himself too long. The truth was, there should be no reason why he couldn’t keep up the pace of his job as well as Chris and the rest of the Alpha team managed... save for the fact his health was ailing.
Despite the fact Bella felt like she had just walked head-first into a brick wall at how helpless she felt for him right now, she nodded and gently took the soiled bag off him to hand him a clean one. “Let me call for your file. You can tell me what’s not been feeling right,” she told him and went to get rid of the bag in her contaminated waste. Then she put a quick call in to Medical Records and requested Dave’s file be brought up to her urgently , but she wasn’t going to make him wait for that. She took a couple of sheets of blank clinical notes from her draw and came back to sit beside him, taking her pen from her lab coat pocket. “When did it start?” she prompted.
“Um,” Dave started and pressed his fingers against his forehead in an attempt to get his brain to function more than it had over the last few days. “I guess I haven’t felt completely right since I started on Alpha. I just don’t know if that is when it started, or if it was the increased hours and workload that alerted me to the fact I wasn’t feeling the best. Then I just thought it was stress and worry for Chris. All I wanted to do was help him through the whole terrifying prospect of Rick’s cancer, but I don’t think I was the right person for the job. Maybe I was just deluded in thinking I could come back to Florida after all this time and things be the same between Chris and me like they were when we were in college. The truth is, we’ve hardly been on the same page since I got here. He’s still my best mate and I still love him like the brother I never had, but when the shit hit the fan, it just seemed to get harder to try and make up for lost time. That’s all irrelevant, though. My point is, I’ve been stressed, so it was easy to just think that was why I was so tired.”
“At least we can be pretty confident that you’re not pregnant,” Bella joked, trying to show him that she wasn’t going to keep trying to railroad him into things he wasn’t ready to face. “So, it was just a lethargy and malaise that it started as? What other symptoms, and when did they start? Because we both know you’re a doctor here, too. You wouldn’t be sitting here with me if it was just malaise that was bothering you.”
Dave managed a small smirk at her joke. “I think I would have to be one hell of an awesome doctor to pull off a male pregnancy. You’ve not been having a good time of it?” He sat forward a little and took some of the tissues from the box on her desk, wiping up some of the water he had spilled, just to give him something to do with his hands. “No, not just lethargy. It’s the... what I was talking to you about before. The trouble getting it up. The thing is, I don’t know if that is a symptom or not, or just leftover from the chemo. Aimee’s the first girl I’ve been with since before I got sick. I had a girlfriend when I was diagnosed, but she couldn’t handle it the prospect of it all and we broke up. All I know is that since Aimee and I started having sex, I’ve had issues. Not continuous. Sometimes it works, other times I have no hope. Then the day before yesterday, we were... being intimate, about to have sex, everything was going fine, which was a surprise, considering how tired I was. But then she went to put the condom on and she was teasing me, and I think she must’ve... squeezed or rubbed or something, but I know Aimee and she wouldn’t be rough. It just sent this unbelievable streak of pain through my balls. It was so bad, I thought I was going to throw up and then there was a weird pain in my lower stomach. Probably not dissimilar to the pains you would get if you have diarrhoea, I guess, but it wasn’t that. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it, and now I can see that there have been times at work lately where I’ve been getting a bit of pain in my gut and lower back. Usually on long shifts, so I just thought it was being on my feet so much. Now, I’ve just been feeling sick on and off for the past couple of days, and I feel like I keep spiking fevers. No matter what I do, I can’t shake this exhaustion. I freaked out and went back to my place after that happened with Aimee. I lay down on the bed, thinking I would just lie there for a few minutes to get the pain to go away, and I crashed out without even changing my clothes. I slept for sixteen hours. Then, sometime around ten this morning, I just realised enough was enough. Who the fuck am I kidding? Pain in my groin and stomach? It’s right where the lymph nodes are.”
“I’m fine, Dave,” Bella murmured, not letting the conversation linger on her pregnancy for too long. He was here because he needed help. They weren’t going to talk about her. She had been noting down everything he was saying and now she put her pen down and met his gaze again. She didn’t get a chance to say anything before there was a knock on her office door and she got up to answer it. Apparently Medical Records had delivered Dave’s file to the nurses’ station, and thank god it was in a concealed envelope, but it was Lisa bringing it to her. Bella kept the door mostly closed behind her so Lisa wouldn’t be able to see her brother in there and she smiled, thanking her for the file before Lisa told her it was no bother and went back to her work. Bella tore the envelope open and pulled Dave’s record out to set it on her desk. “Okay, this is what we’re going to do. I want to take some bloods and urine, then I’ll give you a physical exam, see if I can feel anything obviously amiss. We’ll decide where to take it from there. Do you want to do this now, or do you want to make an appointment to come back and see me tomorrow? We can give you the full mark up.”
Dave felt a strange shiver of déjà vu creep over his skin, and indeed his arms broke out in goose bumps. “Now,” he replied quietly.
Bella went over and got him a gown with a robe from her cupboard along with a specimen jar, bringing them over to him. “You know the drill. Just give me two seconds.” She picked up her phone and hit the connect button to her personal assistant. “Leah, I’m going to be unavailable for the next hour or so in an urgent consult. Can you do me a favour and ask Lisa to go up to Cardiology and get that patient history from the new admission? I was going to get her to go after lunch, but I need the history before booking the consult. She’ll need to speak to the Cardio admitting nurse also, get her hands on any path or radiology that’s already been taken so we don’t put the patient through unnecessary double-ups. Thanks.” She hung the phone up. “Give it long enough for the message to get to Lisa, and the coast should be clear. You can use the staff bathroom to get changed and get the sample.”
Dave felt a heavy sense of guilt engulf him and he gripped his hand around the specimen jar. “Do you think I’m a horrible brother for not talking to her?”
Bella shook her head with a small, understanding smile. “Not at all, love. I’m in no position to judge. I haven’t told my brother or my family that I’m pregnant yet. I can’t seem to find the right time. I used up all my balls telling Rick. I’m praying that we find nothing here and you’re just down with a flu or something, but if we do, Dave, you need to not do this on your own.”
Dave stood up with a sigh, hugging the gown to his chest as he made his way to the door. “I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. If I try and think about that now, I’ll lose it. I’m barely holding it together as it is.” With another small shake of his head, he exited his office to head to the bathroom. It was probably a small miracle that he didn’t keep walking and bolt in terror from the hospital without looking back.
Word Count | 2,898