Haunting
A short, angsty drabble - sorry!
Title: Haunting
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Not mine
Characters: James and Elizabeth
Summary: At night Elizabeth is visited by an old friend.
Haunting
She closes her eyes against the darkness of the room and feels the tide of sleep tug at her. Not resisting, she is pulled under. She dreams of him again. The air is warm and she can taste the salt on the breeze. He is sitting on the sandy shore with his knees bent up and his arms behind him, supporting himself. It is such a casual position, and it further separates the Commodore and James in her mind. She sits down next to him and the say nothing for what seems like hours. Finally she turns to him and takes in his face, reminding herself of the sharp nose, the dark hair - usually covered with the white wig, which lies forlornly on the sand some metres off - and his green eyes. He looks back at her, fondly. She is the first to break the silence, as usual.
“I miss you, James,” She tells him sadly, “The world is not the same without you here.”
He smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.
“I know.” is all he says. She leans against him, trying not to cry, wanting to be brave, for him.
“Talk to me.” She asks him, and she waits anxiously to hear that voice. That voice, which she found so condescending in life, but now, misses desperately. He tells her something different every night, and it is this that lets her hope, against reason, that she is really talking to him, not just imagining it all.
“I love you,” he says, and she can’t hold back a painful sob, “you know that now, don’t you? But one thing I’ve never told you, or anyone for that matter, is that I have always known,” He paused, gauging her reaction, “I was going to die for you.” She cries helplessly, wondering why he is telling her this but grateful he can finally, in death, confide in her.
“I had a vague idea of it on the crossing from England, and as you grew older and I fell more deeply in, I knew that my life would end with you,” he looks at her thoughtfully “If it meant you lived on, it was well worth it.” He leant over to rest his head atop of hers and they stay there until the sun begins to set.
As the sun touches the ocean she looks up to kiss him softly on the mouth, forever regretting that they had done it but once in life.
“Goodbye James.” Despite her wishes that he would find peace, wishing he would leave her to find his salvation, she can’t help but harbour the selfish hope that she will see him again the next night.
The sun is gone. She wakes, eyes flying open at the wailing of a child. She flushes with guilt and rushes to the babe.