the perfect weekend.
i have always thought of the ideal happy feeling... the ideal kiss, the ideal love, and in one weekend all of the late night conversations, all of the late night wishes came together, and i fell in love with Amanda May.
friday:
10 - 21 - 05
i gave blood at the school, arriving late after kissing up to teachers and getting a fill of breakfast. i have donated a half gallon. i was weirded out at that. we left school, spent some time around town, then we came home and derek and i planned out how to escape. i talked with my love... i mean amanda may for a bit about our arrival, then following some work around the house we departed. we headed to novato. we really headed to novato.
the sun burned out as we got to sac town, derek and i bopped around to my manic cd mix. i could feel my heart pushing more and more against my ribs. we were closer, closer, closer, i would get to see her, the girl of my dreams.
we pressed on, my eyes catching road signs, sparking my feeling with such fervour, hoping so much that we would arrive. time passed, quicker, quicker, atherton, oh my god, we are almost there, bahia, so close, is this real? is this real?
we reached circe court, my heart making me bounce around in my seat, i reach for the phone, i dial, "we are on this little street called circe....".head rush. i hear her excitement, we turn the corner, i see in a house ahead, the half lit silhouette of a beautiful girl, running down stairs, to the door, i dropped my phone, dove from the car, i was holding amanda may. my heart used my ribs as wings and flew away.
deep breath.
deep breath.
i sat on her driveway, holding her, ecstatic, looking her in the eyes, my mind filled with LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE. her step-father, john arrived, i met him, a very nice man, then derek, my love and i proceded to the back yard. it was so verdant, lively, her kitten stalking from the bushes, everything swirling in the right place.
after settling, my heart still racing, we took her dog on a walk, derek handled the dog in a great manner. we walked up to these steps that Amanda May had mentioned, we stopped there, sat down, and watched an orange moon rise over a watermass. derek continued up the hill with the dog, i helped amanda may up and i held onto her. i reached in my pocket, turned on architecture in helsinki - sooner than soon, i held her tight, and danced with her in the moonlight. then at just the moment, i thumbed her hair to the side, and placed one kiss on her neck. i looked up at her, close, eyes soft with moonlight, and i told her, "i love you".
we kissed.
soft. extended. incredibly how i dreamed of so many times.
we watched the moon from the water next, and when it got unbearably cold we walked back, in the same stride. we walk the same way. incredible. we drove to safeway, wandered the aisles, and then took a ride around novato. it felt so right.
we got back to her house, and we spent it enjoying all of the things we wished we could do. we kissed, we played thumb war, we made our pillowcases smell of each other with cologne and scents, and cuddled how the telephone never let us.
"i want this night to never end."
i tucked her in bed, kissed her forehead, lied down on my couch of choice, and my heart could not let it pass that quick. i came back, slid under the covers, and we cuddled until we were on the verge of crashing. i felt my eyes filling up.
I fell in love with Amanda May Alexander.
saturday:
10 - 22 - 05
my eyes peeked open when i heard a voice near me, a voice that i thought was just a figment of my dream. i opened them, to see amanda may, my heart tickled. she lied down next to me, i felt like i had the world lying in my arms. we cuddled, talked, enjoyed the time, and her mother offered to make me some delicious oatmeal. i enjoyed it a lot. derek assembled, then i did, then i picked amanda may's outfit, it was so smile-worthy. we got in the car, and departed for san francisco. i held her hand from the front seat, smiling wide, my heart burning inside, we went through a tunnel and i made a wish and held my breath. i will not tell the wish. we got to the city, we roamed a bit then decided to get food.
we found some vegetarian/indian-ish restaurant where amanda may and i split hot cocoa and derek had samosas, weird little fried things. we walked around market street and took photographs, it felt so right. knowing i could walk down streets with my arm around her, that we could smile, hold hands, and kiss, it was perfect.
after we roamed there we took a grand ride around the city, looking for the sunset district and stuff. we never found it, but after a nice cruise around, we found... JAPANTOWN. how adorably fun. we walked around the japanese market and we saw all kinds of hello kitty stuff. i am so fine with having hello kitty stuff in my house when i am older, if it means i will have a happy amanda may to keep me company. we then decided on some noodles for lunch, and we visited this restaurant mall. it was good. we ordered soy base noodles but they came with chicken on top, i refused it because i didn't want amanda may to have to have meat. the lady was pissy, but i made sure it got fixed. we ate lunch, then derek bought some incense to burn in the car, we roamed japantown a little longer then ended up stopping in the goodwill store. there was some situation with a dropped 20 dollar bill, and this vagrant-looking lady was very pissy about it. too much tension for me, i went outside. then this lady was inqusitive and was practically standing on amanda may to hear about it. veerd! we then cruised around more, looked for the sunset district, i decided that all good turns are right turns, and eventually we found china beach. we walked down these irritating wooden steps and we got to the sand, the gray fog washing over the horizon. amanda may made the heart in the sand that i loved so much in the photograph psychoboy took of her, and she wrote my name inside. my hands shook when i took the photo, i had to breathe so deep to keep still.
we held onto each other, the cold air biting slightly, but we held each other's hands to stay warm. we embraced, so real, beyond all expectations, so warm inside, everything faded out as i looked into her eyes.
we took more pictures on the beach, i got her feet wet and felt bad, we climbed a rock and watched the waves, kissed and i thought my heart was going to fly off to sea at that point, everything was so real. we enjoyed the time some more, then worked out going up the irritating steps, and at the top i insisted on cleaning amanda may's feet of all the sand i got in her shoes. we then departed from san francisco, passing through the rainbow tunnel an extra time (the first time we were lost), making held breath wishes, crossing the bridge to go back to novato. we stopped in marin city or something like that for dinner, amanda may got some hair dye at the longs drugs and derek got some stuff at best buy. we ate at panda express then headed to her house, we got back, and amanda may hopped in the shower. derek planned out a trip to sac while we were traveling, he decided to take off to visit callie. once amanda may was dressed and her hair was straightened in a very amazingly quick manner we had him drop us off so we could go to the narrow stretch of land. derek set sail, we walked out to the water, and we shared the most important moment of the entire trip. the sun had set and the sky was sinking into the blue colour, deep cobalt shading making details so hard to notice. We held onto each other, a couple walked by us, nodding, we had a quick talk about the moon the night before, and the man said before he left, "good luck". it made me confused, but i smiled. amanda may pulled a stack of razors from her bag, different sizes, different memories, each one i knew had so much to tell. I held onto her, as she looked at them, thinking, silent, perfect, she began to throw them into the water. i heard tiny splashes as they hit the water, leaving only one inside her hand. we had made a promise, and we continued this promise. I drew my sleeve, took the watch from my wrist, looked amanda may in the eyes, as she placed one quick cut across my wrist. the last time. i could feel blood rising to the sweet sting, i smiled in a way i had not in a long time. she contined to make one across hers as well, my heart pulsed with such strength. using our phones to verify the incision, we looked each other in the eyes, smiled, placed our wounds together, and kissed. love. entirely. emotionally. the connection was forever. sharing this moment of self-destruction, the last time together, in a promise.
we walked back soon after, holding hands, telling stories, then receiving dora the explorer band-aids when we made it back. we spent the night listening to the cds we made each other, letting go, kissing, cuddling, lasting together, not looking at the clocks. we held onto each other, i could feel my eyes dripping, i had not felt this great in a very long time. it was beautiful, everything i wanted was in my arms, we fell in and out of sleep with each other, loving each other. eventually i had to go to my place of rest, after we had both made tired eyes, early in the morning hours. i tried to sleep, my puffy eyes not wanting hours to pass, and soon i found her with me again, her whisper "hi." making my heart sink in such a brand new manner all over again. i never wanted to fall asleep.
It feels good to be in love.
friday:
10 - 21 - 05
i gave blood at the school, arriving late after kissing up to teachers and getting a fill of breakfast. i have donated a half gallon. i was weirded out at that. we left school, spent some time around town, then we came home and derek and i planned out how to escape. i talked with my love... i mean amanda may for a bit about our arrival, then following some work around the house we departed. we headed to novato. we really headed to novato.
the sun burned out as we got to sac town, derek and i bopped around to my manic cd mix. i could feel my heart pushing more and more against my ribs. we were closer, closer, closer, i would get to see her, the girl of my dreams.
we pressed on, my eyes catching road signs, sparking my feeling with such fervour, hoping so much that we would arrive. time passed, quicker, quicker, atherton, oh my god, we are almost there, bahia, so close, is this real? is this real?
we reached circe court, my heart making me bounce around in my seat, i reach for the phone, i dial, "we are on this little street called circe....".head rush. i hear her excitement, we turn the corner, i see in a house ahead, the half lit silhouette of a beautiful girl, running down stairs, to the door, i dropped my phone, dove from the car, i was holding amanda may. my heart used my ribs as wings and flew away.
deep breath.
deep breath.
i sat on her driveway, holding her, ecstatic, looking her in the eyes, my mind filled with LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE. her step-father, john arrived, i met him, a very nice man, then derek, my love and i proceded to the back yard. it was so verdant, lively, her kitten stalking from the bushes, everything swirling in the right place.
after settling, my heart still racing, we took her dog on a walk, derek handled the dog in a great manner. we walked up to these steps that Amanda May had mentioned, we stopped there, sat down, and watched an orange moon rise over a watermass. derek continued up the hill with the dog, i helped amanda may up and i held onto her. i reached in my pocket, turned on architecture in helsinki - sooner than soon, i held her tight, and danced with her in the moonlight. then at just the moment, i thumbed her hair to the side, and placed one kiss on her neck. i looked up at her, close, eyes soft with moonlight, and i told her, "i love you".
we kissed.
soft. extended. incredibly how i dreamed of so many times.
we watched the moon from the water next, and when it got unbearably cold we walked back, in the same stride. we walk the same way. incredible. we drove to safeway, wandered the aisles, and then took a ride around novato. it felt so right.
we got back to her house, and we spent it enjoying all of the things we wished we could do. we kissed, we played thumb war, we made our pillowcases smell of each other with cologne and scents, and cuddled how the telephone never let us.
"i want this night to never end."
i tucked her in bed, kissed her forehead, lied down on my couch of choice, and my heart could not let it pass that quick. i came back, slid under the covers, and we cuddled until we were on the verge of crashing. i felt my eyes filling up.
I fell in love with Amanda May Alexander.
saturday:
10 - 22 - 05
my eyes peeked open when i heard a voice near me, a voice that i thought was just a figment of my dream. i opened them, to see amanda may, my heart tickled. she lied down next to me, i felt like i had the world lying in my arms. we cuddled, talked, enjoyed the time, and her mother offered to make me some delicious oatmeal. i enjoyed it a lot. derek assembled, then i did, then i picked amanda may's outfit, it was so smile-worthy. we got in the car, and departed for san francisco. i held her hand from the front seat, smiling wide, my heart burning inside, we went through a tunnel and i made a wish and held my breath. i will not tell the wish. we got to the city, we roamed a bit then decided to get food.
we found some vegetarian/indian-ish restaurant where amanda may and i split hot cocoa and derek had samosas, weird little fried things. we walked around market street and took photographs, it felt so right. knowing i could walk down streets with my arm around her, that we could smile, hold hands, and kiss, it was perfect.
after we roamed there we took a grand ride around the city, looking for the sunset district and stuff. we never found it, but after a nice cruise around, we found... JAPANTOWN. how adorably fun. we walked around the japanese market and we saw all kinds of hello kitty stuff. i am so fine with having hello kitty stuff in my house when i am older, if it means i will have a happy amanda may to keep me company. we then decided on some noodles for lunch, and we visited this restaurant mall. it was good. we ordered soy base noodles but they came with chicken on top, i refused it because i didn't want amanda may to have to have meat. the lady was pissy, but i made sure it got fixed. we ate lunch, then derek bought some incense to burn in the car, we roamed japantown a little longer then ended up stopping in the goodwill store. there was some situation with a dropped 20 dollar bill, and this vagrant-looking lady was very pissy about it. too much tension for me, i went outside. then this lady was inqusitive and was practically standing on amanda may to hear about it. veerd! we then cruised around more, looked for the sunset district, i decided that all good turns are right turns, and eventually we found china beach. we walked down these irritating wooden steps and we got to the sand, the gray fog washing over the horizon. amanda may made the heart in the sand that i loved so much in the photograph psychoboy took of her, and she wrote my name inside. my hands shook when i took the photo, i had to breathe so deep to keep still.
we held onto each other, the cold air biting slightly, but we held each other's hands to stay warm. we embraced, so real, beyond all expectations, so warm inside, everything faded out as i looked into her eyes.
we took more pictures on the beach, i got her feet wet and felt bad, we climbed a rock and watched the waves, kissed and i thought my heart was going to fly off to sea at that point, everything was so real. we enjoyed the time some more, then worked out going up the irritating steps, and at the top i insisted on cleaning amanda may's feet of all the sand i got in her shoes. we then departed from san francisco, passing through the rainbow tunnel an extra time (the first time we were lost), making held breath wishes, crossing the bridge to go back to novato. we stopped in marin city or something like that for dinner, amanda may got some hair dye at the longs drugs and derek got some stuff at best buy. we ate at panda express then headed to her house, we got back, and amanda may hopped in the shower. derek planned out a trip to sac while we were traveling, he decided to take off to visit callie. once amanda may was dressed and her hair was straightened in a very amazingly quick manner we had him drop us off so we could go to the narrow stretch of land. derek set sail, we walked out to the water, and we shared the most important moment of the entire trip. the sun had set and the sky was sinking into the blue colour, deep cobalt shading making details so hard to notice. We held onto each other, a couple walked by us, nodding, we had a quick talk about the moon the night before, and the man said before he left, "good luck". it made me confused, but i smiled. amanda may pulled a stack of razors from her bag, different sizes, different memories, each one i knew had so much to tell. I held onto her, as she looked at them, thinking, silent, perfect, she began to throw them into the water. i heard tiny splashes as they hit the water, leaving only one inside her hand. we had made a promise, and we continued this promise. I drew my sleeve, took the watch from my wrist, looked amanda may in the eyes, as she placed one quick cut across my wrist. the last time. i could feel blood rising to the sweet sting, i smiled in a way i had not in a long time. she contined to make one across hers as well, my heart pulsed with such strength. using our phones to verify the incision, we looked each other in the eyes, smiled, placed our wounds together, and kissed. love. entirely. emotionally. the connection was forever. sharing this moment of self-destruction, the last time together, in a promise.
we walked back soon after, holding hands, telling stories, then receiving dora the explorer band-aids when we made it back. we spent the night listening to the cds we made each other, letting go, kissing, cuddling, lasting together, not looking at the clocks. we held onto each other, i could feel my eyes dripping, i had not felt this great in a very long time. it was beautiful, everything i wanted was in my arms, we fell in and out of sleep with each other, loving each other. eventually i had to go to my place of rest, after we had both made tired eyes, early in the morning hours. i tried to sleep, my puffy eyes not wanting hours to pass, and soon i found her with me again, her whisper "hi." making my heart sink in such a brand new manner all over again. i never wanted to fall asleep.
It feels good to be in love.