Mostly some kids at school, if I thought they were worth my time. Then there are the classic celebrity crushes that everyone has. But, like I said, never acted on 'em. They were either taken, didn't swing my way, or it was gone in about a week.
[Oh, God, John. Dave relegates him as the God of Derp and the King of Awkward.]
This is enterin' the territory of awkward, an animal that won't mind tearin' us to pieces and eatin' 'em. If you're worried about me makin' a pass on you, then you don't have to.
[A nice way to avoid the question, if he does say so himself.]
its up to you bro im cool with whatever
[So fucking helpful. ♦]
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On who?
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[Confusion?]
You had a bunch of lesbians at your school?
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[He never really did find out John's stance on this stuff, but...now's as good a time to find out as any. Dave hesitates briefly before plowing on.]
In this case, Egbert, I'm talkin' about both sexes.
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Blank staring.
Blank. Staring.
Staring blankly.
Staaaaaring.
Ding ding ding!]
So you're duosexual?
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Bisexual, Egderp.
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[He did. He was just so surprised.
Which is probably why this bursts out:] Did you ever have a crush on me?
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This is enterin' the territory of awkward, an animal that won't mind tearin' us to pieces and eatin' 'em. If you're worried about me makin' a pass on you, then you don't have to.
[A nice way to avoid the question, if he does say so himself.]
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Good. That'd be awkward.
[Pause.]
Which is probably how Santana felt. Whoops.
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[Dave finishes up and puts the bowl on John's nightstand, and then relaxes on the bed with his hands pillowing the back of his head.]
With this event, the awkward meters get pumped to extreme levels. So, what're you gonna do 'bout this?
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[SIGH.]
I dunno. Should I tell Santana I'm sorry and find somebody else to woo?
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[Pause.]
And I won't tell anybody you're half-gay.
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[Pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft.]
I appreciate it, bro.
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