England and Canada get married
This is the first of many Hetalia axis powers I made back in 2010. THESE STORES WERE MADE TO BE SILLY! NOT SERIOUS! DON'T GIVE ME ANY SHIT AS IF YOU THINK MY HETAILA FANFICTIONS ARE SERIOUS OR ANYTHING!!
Canada and England decided to get married.
They were in love and they were going to get married whether anyone liked it or not.
"You can't get married, it ruins the saintly of marriage! Plus it's gross!" Said America.
"Shut up, you bloody yank! No body likes you interfering with their lives! Go watch pro wrestling while eating another cheeseburger!" Says England. America eyes widen. He was right, WWE RAW was going to be on in an half hour and it's been exactly three hours since his last meal.
Canada says "Brother, please understand we are in love and that is the real reason for getting married, right?" America punches Canada in the stomach. He wasn't include to watch his brother marry a limey so he threw gold at England. England salvalates as he tackles the gold. America lifts Canada over his head and kidnaps him right in front of England. Kumajiro watches disinterestedly then licks his balls.
"You poorly educated twit!" And England peformed a curse on America which made him loose all his money! America dropped Canada when he felt his Smartphone vibrating and he answers it. It was his bank. They are calling him because they are foreclosing his house!
"NOOOO! It's my caregiver, Obama's fault!!" And he runs away to sulk and watch Glenn beck. England runs up and picks up Canada, giving him a nice romantic kiss "Now we can be together, milord!" They walk off as Kumajiro rolls around in his own poop.
America returns later after attending a Tea Party and was, for some reason, surprized that Canada and England was gone. "I was just gone for a week! They aren't cilalized enough to wait for me? Their fucking hero? Jerks." Kumajiro walks up to America and lovingly snuggles agaisnt his leg, tranfering the poop. With his need to control animal's lives, America grabs the bear and puts a leash and colar on it.
"Now take me to your owner, Canada!"
"Who?"
America kicks the white bear's butt hard, the tip of his shoe rimming it's anus. The bear started to shuffle away, following the scent of earl grey tea and maple syrup for miles.
Canada and England went to Las Vegas to get married quick. They couldn't get married because neither of them possess a vagina so England forces Canada to dress like a woman after they stole Justin Bieber's ID card. They put an "a" in the end of "Justin" using a sharpie and the preacher took a glace and believed that license to be for a woman. For the wedding, Canada dressed up like Lady Gaga in the Bad Romance video. England dressed like Kanya West with the shutter glasses and everything. They were getting married at the same drive through chapel as Britney Sears did when she first got married.
"Do you, England, Take Justina Bieber to be your lawfully wedded wife?"
"I Do." Says England
"And do you, Justina Bieber, take England as your lawful wedded husband?"
"I do." Says Canada in an high pitch voice.
"Then I know pronounce you man and-"
"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!" They all looked and saw it was America! England twitched his thick eyes brows as he took out his sword. "I told you before, you bloody yank! You can't stop us! Now piss off or you'll get flayed~!"
"That's where you're wrong, my faggy scone eating friend! I can stop you! You are forgetting that here your little lover have to be a WOMAN. That is because- OH GAWD!" America suddenly noticed what his brother, Canada, was wearing. In a temporary fit of insanity, America kelt over and vomited McDonalds all over the broken glass and cigarette butt covered sidewalk while doing the Stanky Legg (Strangely well, too). He imagined Ann Coulter masturbating on live TV so he can get this horrible image out of his mind.
While this happened, England took Canada and mouned his horse and galloped down the street. They went to Massachusetts. Massachusetts answered the door to his apartment, letting out more rats then that guy had on that episode of Hoarders. A rancid smell that smells worse then Tacobell filled their nostril.
"Bloody bugger!" Says, ovibously, England.
"what yoose guiz want?" says the rancid, filthy man known as Massachusetts. He looks at Canada. "An' why joo brung America wit joo?"
"I'm not America! I'm Canada!"
"Who?" Says Massachusetts.
"Massachusetts, I need you to marry us." Says England. Massachusetts lul'd.
"OK, but dat's gonna cost joo lotsa gold." England took out a sac of jew gold he took from Israel.
Massachusetts laughed and took the gold and stored it in his gut. "Let's geut yoose guiz married, eh?" Massachusetts went on all fours and England and Canada climbed on board his back and Massachusetts ran out and down the hall like a rat. When he went out onto the street they saw America coming straight for them with Kumajiro sniffing the ground .
"AH HA!" Shouts America.
"Make a run for it!" England screams. Massachusetts scirred off at top speed the other way.
"Oh no you don't!" And America runs for the first cars that passes by. The driver stops to avoid hitting the blond man. When he came out the car to complain, America took out an uzi and shot the man in the face. He got in the car and drove down the road after England and his brother.
Massachusetts was very fast for a fatass but soon America caught up. He opened the passenger door and shouted out to his brother.
"Canada, get in! I'll save you from getting sodomized by this queer!"
Canada shook his head and snuggled on England all neko yaoi kawaii desu ni-like. "No, brother. I love him and I want to marry him and give birth to his children."
"No you are not in love! Only a MAN and a WOMAN can be in love! You are just indulging in your sexual lusts! God says so!"
"There is no god!" Shouts England. America's eyes went red with fury and he crawled out the car while it still moved and jumped on the couple all Naruto-like. Massachusetts fell face first into the sidewalk, his fat hairy body scrapping the concrete. America ruined their plans again. The car America jumped out of rolled down the street until it colited with another car and both cars ignited in a huge fireball which looked pretty badass. The man in the other car ran out of his car on fire and fell on the ground and died horribly
America was raging. "How dare you ill of god, you goddamn rapist! I'll teach you for being a blasphemous sodomite who desperately needs to get his eyebrows trimmed!" He went into his pocket and grabbed his hamburger he was saving for later. America shoved his meat down England's throat as Canada tries to get his brother off him.
"Please brother, don't!" America looks at his brother and saw he was still dressed like Lady Gaga. he rolled off England with his eyes in the back of his head and foaming at the mouth in another temporary fit of insanity. England casts another curse on America. He made it so he would leak oil from all his greasy foods. America started to leak oil from his anus. America rolled around in scrutinizing pain as an black crude oil continuously spilled out of his butt.
"NOOO, THIS IS AN DISASTER!"
Suddenly Japan suddenly appears flying his kamikaze towards them. He had an look on his face that looked just like the Reaction Guy.
"あなたのとてもファンの女の子を私の文化を強姦することを止めるように言いなさい!
" He says out the window and for reasons even this author can't explain, he slamped the plane on them, killing them all instantly.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"Did you hear about England?" Says France as he eats cheese and wine.
"What about him?" Asks Spain.
"The stupid conceided salaud was going to marry la conasse con America but was horribly killed. That connard! That sexy délicieux connard"Spain and France were sitting at a cafe. Spain was drinking coffee while France brought his own food and drink. Spain sips his coffee that have been spiked with alcohol.
"Who fucking cares."
"Ditto."
The End
Canada and England decided to get married.
They were in love and they were going to get married whether anyone liked it or not.
"You can't get married, it ruins the saintly of marriage! Plus it's gross!" Said America.
"Shut up, you bloody yank! No body likes you interfering with their lives! Go watch pro wrestling while eating another cheeseburger!" Says England. America eyes widen. He was right, WWE RAW was going to be on in an half hour and it's been exactly three hours since his last meal.
Canada says "Brother, please understand we are in love and that is the real reason for getting married, right?" America punches Canada in the stomach. He wasn't include to watch his brother marry a limey so he threw gold at England. England salvalates as he tackles the gold. America lifts Canada over his head and kidnaps him right in front of England. Kumajiro watches disinterestedly then licks his balls.
"You poorly educated twit!" And England peformed a curse on America which made him loose all his money! America dropped Canada when he felt his Smartphone vibrating and he answers it. It was his bank. They are calling him because they are foreclosing his house!
"NOOOO! It's my caregiver, Obama's fault!!" And he runs away to sulk and watch Glenn beck. England runs up and picks up Canada, giving him a nice romantic kiss "Now we can be together, milord!" They walk off as Kumajiro rolls around in his own poop.
America returns later after attending a Tea Party and was, for some reason, surprized that Canada and England was gone. "I was just gone for a week! They aren't cilalized enough to wait for me? Their fucking hero? Jerks." Kumajiro walks up to America and lovingly snuggles agaisnt his leg, tranfering the poop. With his need to control animal's lives, America grabs the bear and puts a leash and colar on it.
"Now take me to your owner, Canada!"
"Who?"
America kicks the white bear's butt hard, the tip of his shoe rimming it's anus. The bear started to shuffle away, following the scent of earl grey tea and maple syrup for miles.
Canada and England went to Las Vegas to get married quick. They couldn't get married because neither of them possess a vagina so England forces Canada to dress like a woman after they stole Justin Bieber's ID card. They put an "a" in the end of "Justin" using a sharpie and the preacher took a glace and believed that license to be for a woman. For the wedding, Canada dressed up like Lady Gaga in the Bad Romance video. England dressed like Kanya West with the shutter glasses and everything. They were getting married at the same drive through chapel as Britney Sears did when she first got married.
"Do you, England, Take Justina Bieber to be your lawfully wedded wife?"
"I Do." Says England
"And do you, Justina Bieber, take England as your lawful wedded husband?"
"I do." Says Canada in an high pitch voice.
"Then I know pronounce you man and-"
"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!" They all looked and saw it was America! England twitched his thick eyes brows as he took out his sword. "I told you before, you bloody yank! You can't stop us! Now piss off or you'll get flayed~!"
"That's where you're wrong, my faggy scone eating friend! I can stop you! You are forgetting that here your little lover have to be a WOMAN. That is because- OH GAWD!" America suddenly noticed what his brother, Canada, was wearing. In a temporary fit of insanity, America kelt over and vomited McDonalds all over the broken glass and cigarette butt covered sidewalk while doing the Stanky Legg (Strangely well, too). He imagined Ann Coulter masturbating on live TV so he can get this horrible image out of his mind.
While this happened, England took Canada and mouned his horse and galloped down the street. They went to Massachusetts. Massachusetts answered the door to his apartment, letting out more rats then that guy had on that episode of Hoarders. A rancid smell that smells worse then Tacobell filled their nostril.
"Bloody bugger!" Says, ovibously, England.
"what yoose guiz want?" says the rancid, filthy man known as Massachusetts. He looks at Canada. "An' why joo brung America wit joo?"
"I'm not America! I'm Canada!"
"Who?" Says Massachusetts.
"Massachusetts, I need you to marry us." Says England. Massachusetts lul'd.
"OK, but dat's gonna cost joo lotsa gold." England took out a sac of jew gold he took from Israel.
Massachusetts laughed and took the gold and stored it in his gut. "Let's geut yoose guiz married, eh?" Massachusetts went on all fours and England and Canada climbed on board his back and Massachusetts ran out and down the hall like a rat. When he went out onto the street they saw America coming straight for them with Kumajiro sniffing the ground .
"AH HA!" Shouts America.
"Make a run for it!" England screams. Massachusetts scirred off at top speed the other way.
"Oh no you don't!" And America runs for the first cars that passes by. The driver stops to avoid hitting the blond man. When he came out the car to complain, America took out an uzi and shot the man in the face. He got in the car and drove down the road after England and his brother.
Massachusetts was very fast for a fatass but soon America caught up. He opened the passenger door and shouted out to his brother.
"Canada, get in! I'll save you from getting sodomized by this queer!"
Canada shook his head and snuggled on England all neko yaoi kawaii desu ni-like. "No, brother. I love him and I want to marry him and give birth to his children."
"No you are not in love! Only a MAN and a WOMAN can be in love! You are just indulging in your sexual lusts! God says so!"
"There is no god!" Shouts England. America's eyes went red with fury and he crawled out the car while it still moved and jumped on the couple all Naruto-like. Massachusetts fell face first into the sidewalk, his fat hairy body scrapping the concrete. America ruined their plans again. The car America jumped out of rolled down the street until it colited with another car and both cars ignited in a huge fireball which looked pretty badass. The man in the other car ran out of his car on fire and fell on the ground and died horribly
America was raging. "How dare you ill of god, you goddamn rapist! I'll teach you for being a blasphemous sodomite who desperately needs to get his eyebrows trimmed!" He went into his pocket and grabbed his hamburger he was saving for later. America shoved his meat down England's throat as Canada tries to get his brother off him.
"Please brother, don't!" America looks at his brother and saw he was still dressed like Lady Gaga. he rolled off England with his eyes in the back of his head and foaming at the mouth in another temporary fit of insanity. England casts another curse on America. He made it so he would leak oil from all his greasy foods. America started to leak oil from his anus. America rolled around in scrutinizing pain as an black crude oil continuously spilled out of his butt.
"NOOO, THIS IS AN DISASTER!"
Suddenly Japan suddenly appears flying his kamikaze towards them. He had an look on his face that looked just like the Reaction Guy.
"あなたのとてもファンの女の子を私の文化を強姦することを止めるように言いなさい!
" He says out the window and for reasons even this author can't explain, he slamped the plane on them, killing them all instantly.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"Did you hear about England?" Says France as he eats cheese and wine.
"What about him?" Asks Spain.
"The stupid conceided salaud was going to marry la conasse con America but was horribly killed. That connard! That sexy délicieux connard"Spain and France were sitting at a cafe. Spain was drinking coffee while France brought his own food and drink. Spain sips his coffee that have been spiked with alcohol.
"Who fucking cares."
"Ditto."
The End