(no subject)
Con-fucking-gratulations - a sleepless night before a sleepless night. Fuck.
This weekend was just a big epic failure. First M and A fight so bad that A's practically kicking us out of his apartment (which he later apologized for and left so we could have the apartment to ourselves) and then after a wonderful day with A's mom, all peaceful and relaxing, M and A try to talk it out. There were raised voices, but after a while there was laughter so I assumed we would be leaving on a, if not high then average, good note. Lo and behold, half an hour later, they're basically screaming at each other. Bear in mind that this is at 1 A.M. It goes on for maybe half an hour, until A is "done with someone so thickheaded" as M and M is "going home and forgetting about the cheating bastard" (I know, nice words, huh?!). M then proceeds to lock herself in the bathroom, hurling. Apparently out of stress and adrenaline. After a while, we both hear "fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck" and when she opens the door, there's blood all over the floor. I am fucking terrified. At 2 fucking A.M., she is so violently ill that she gets nosebleeds so bad it's making puddles on the bathroom floor. Fuck this. I am not fucking happy. But apparently this is "normal" for her. Good fucking grief. I am still petrified something bad's going to happen. No evil comes in two's, right? So I am not going to be able to get any kind of sleep tonight because I'll be fucking worried about her, and then at 6 P.M. tomorrow (tonight, rather), we're embarking on a fourteen (14!) hour trip back home. And she's got motion sickness and a fear of flying. Fuck that. So we'll be flying through the night tomorrow, which will just make all of this epically bad. I will land back on Swedish soil and pass the fuck out. I probably won't even be able to eat. Tuesday, at 4 P.M., Swedish time (11 A.M. American time, which my body will be on), I will most likely be tired enough to just cry myself into exhausted sleep. By then I will probably have been up for roughly forty-eight hours. Because you'd better fucking believe that even if I could fall asleep on airplanes (which I can't), I fucking won't.
Oh just fuck my life right now.
I'm sorry, emo rant is clogging up my journal, but dang it, I really don't like how things are turning out right now. I'm just hoping (praying fervently) that once I get back home, once the travel dust has settled, I won't be so messed up. Emotionally. Physically there's nothing wrong with me, won't be after I sleep for however long my body needs to, but mentally? That might take a fucking while.
Gah.
This weekend was just a big epic failure. First M and A fight so bad that A's practically kicking us out of his apartment (which he later apologized for and left so we could have the apartment to ourselves) and then after a wonderful day with A's mom, all peaceful and relaxing, M and A try to talk it out. There were raised voices, but after a while there was laughter so I assumed we would be leaving on a, if not high then average, good note. Lo and behold, half an hour later, they're basically screaming at each other. Bear in mind that this is at 1 A.M. It goes on for maybe half an hour, until A is "done with someone so thickheaded" as M and M is "going home and forgetting about the cheating bastard" (I know, nice words, huh?!). M then proceeds to lock herself in the bathroom, hurling. Apparently out of stress and adrenaline. After a while, we both hear "fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck" and when she opens the door, there's blood all over the floor. I am fucking terrified. At 2 fucking A.M., she is so violently ill that she gets nosebleeds so bad it's making puddles on the bathroom floor. Fuck this. I am not fucking happy. But apparently this is "normal" for her. Good fucking grief. I am still petrified something bad's going to happen. No evil comes in two's, right? So I am not going to be able to get any kind of sleep tonight because I'll be fucking worried about her, and then at 6 P.M. tomorrow (tonight, rather), we're embarking on a fourteen (14!) hour trip back home. And she's got motion sickness and a fear of flying. Fuck that. So we'll be flying through the night tomorrow, which will just make all of this epically bad. I will land back on Swedish soil and pass the fuck out. I probably won't even be able to eat. Tuesday, at 4 P.M., Swedish time (11 A.M. American time, which my body will be on), I will most likely be tired enough to just cry myself into exhausted sleep. By then I will probably have been up for roughly forty-eight hours. Because you'd better fucking believe that even if I could fall asleep on airplanes (which I can't), I fucking won't.
Oh just fuck my life right now.
I'm sorry, emo rant is clogging up my journal, but dang it, I really don't like how things are turning out right now. I'm just hoping (praying fervently) that once I get back home, once the travel dust has settled, I won't be so messed up. Emotionally. Physically there's nothing wrong with me, won't be after I sleep for however long my body needs to, but mentally? That might take a fucking while.
Gah.