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Untitled
YeWon; PG
A/N : Too lazy to edit it, tbh. This is kinda a continuation of Please, but could read it separately. I plan to make it a series, but.. *shrug* I'm still busy and I do this just for fun. ^^;
“Stop fussing, Yunnie.. You’re already perfect and beautiful.”, I chided at my twin sister as she busying herself to inspect at every inch of her wedding dress, and then at her veil, and then at her makeup, repeat. I cast a heavy sigh and I hug her from behind, catching her stare through the mirror.
“You are beautiful.”, I said it again to her. And she smiles so lively, so different from my own and I see that my lips quirk upwards because of it.
“You know,” she said, “telling me beautiful is the same as you say that you are too. We are twins like that.” Her smile widened. I chuckled slightly after I pinch her nose. So true, we are too much alike to the point it hurts me. But she doesn’t need to know it. I could pose as her with the wedding dress and walk to the aisle and no one would know. If only…
“Well, I’m a narcissist, just like you are.”, I joke. She hugs me then. Her fingers tightened around my sleek tuxedo she forces me to wear.
“I’m scared.”, she confess to me. “What if he has a second thought and leave me?”, her voice was soft and a bit shaky. I circled my hands around her waist. I shut my eyes and force my words out. “Don’t be ridiculous.” I said to her. “Siwon loves you. He won’t leave you like that.” And she raises her head, her eyes shining full of plea and hope. “Don’t worry, my sister, my other half..”, I sooth. “If he dare to do that, I’m going to hunt him myself.”, I convince her. A small smile bloom on her face and again, I force myself to return it.
“Of course.”, she said, her confidence returns. “He is a good man, and I have you by my side. There’s nothing to worry about.” The way she said it, she was more convincing herself than me, but I nodded anyway.
“Exactly. Now. I’m going to check on him, to make sure he is ready and not leaving you.” I caress her cheeks and let her nuzzles to my hand a bit.
“Thank you, oppa. You are really the best. Love you.” I force a smile again and kiss her cheek. I quickly got myself out of the room. I feel suffocated. I could hardly breathe as I stand in front of the door, can’t bring myself to go yet.
I should be strong, I tell myself again and again. I can make it through. Just a little longer. And after this over, I’m going to go far from here, far from him. I took a deep breath and slowly take a step, and then two. I brace myself to go to his room.
“He looks so nervous.” Siwon’s father said as a greeting when I’ve arrived in front of his room. He smiles while saying this. “You’ll do too when you’re going to marry.” He said again as he pats my shoulder and then walks past me. I gnawed my teeth on my lips. Hopefully that’s the case. Again, I took a deep breath before knocking. A grunt came from behind the door so I open it. Siwon was sitting in front of the mirror, head down with eyes closed. His body taut and even though his jaw set and frown marred his face he is still as handsome as ever.
I don’t know if I have to clear my throat and standing just in front of the door I closed to distance myself from him, or should I go to squeeze his shoulder, assured him that everything will be okay? Even though we both know that it’s actually not okay, at least on my part.
Maybe he knows something is wrong or maybe he stops himself to feel much, but finally he took a deep breath and opens his eyes, casting his stare toward me. Oh, stare he does, but nothing else. I heard a shaky breath, or was it just me who can face the reality that I can’t do this?
“Jongie.”, he whispered.
“Siwon.”, was my only reply. I still don’t know what to do, but he does it for me anyway. He stood and closing the gap between us. With shaking hand, he lifts my chin. “I’m just checking. Don’t want you to run away now, do we?”, a hint of warning from my part. I saw his eyes hardened.
“Tell me once again why I should do this. Why we should do this.”, his hoarse voice asking me.
“Because Yun Hee loves you.”, I answered. The feeling of his index finger on my chin disappear, instead he grab my shoulder and hugs me tightly.
“But I love you.”, he whispers to my ears. The ‘I know’ doesn’t need to be said. We both know.
“You promise. And you never ever broke a promise before.”, I said back. His body shaking now. I close my eyes, because even now I don’t dare to hug him back, too afraid that my resolve would crumble under his embrace. We can’t afford it.
“This is wrong, Siwon.”, I said again. Oh, I can’t. I don’t dare to call him with his nickname anymore. It’s so precious. I’ll treasure it in my heart. “We promised on that night, remember? That it’s the only night that we will ever succumb to this sin.”
“Why should this be a sin?!”, his voice hard. He is fisting my clothes now. “I don’t understand anymore. Why something that we should treasure the most should be called a sin? When a white lie we will do from right now on ward called right?” my breath hitched. Because I don’t know what to answer, because I yearn for what we thought is wrong. But alas, reality is far crueler than a dream. The merciless fate that beckoning us is a test. And what a test this is. Too sweet to taste but too bitter to left.
“Please Siwon, at least for my sake.” I plead. Slowly he detached himself from me, his eyes glisten.
“How cruel the only love I ever know is.” His voice bitter. “Give me one selfish reason for me to continue.” I open my mouth but no sound was out. He smiles sadly. “I know you’ll go once I say the vow.” I lower my head, because it’s true.
“Go.”, he orders. “Go before I change my mind and I swear I will betray this house of God if you’re staying right now!”, he bellowed.
And I run. How cowardly..
If only we have never met that day.. maybe we will never be in love like this.
- - - -
YeWon; PG
A/N : Too lazy to edit it, tbh. This is kinda a continuation of Please, but could read it separately. I plan to make it a series, but.. *shrug* I'm still busy and I do this just for fun. ^^;
“Stop fussing, Yunnie.. You’re already perfect and beautiful.”, I chided at my twin sister as she busying herself to inspect at every inch of her wedding dress, and then at her veil, and then at her makeup, repeat. I cast a heavy sigh and I hug her from behind, catching her stare through the mirror.
“You are beautiful.”, I said it again to her. And she smiles so lively, so different from my own and I see that my lips quirk upwards because of it.
“You know,” she said, “telling me beautiful is the same as you say that you are too. We are twins like that.” Her smile widened. I chuckled slightly after I pinch her nose. So true, we are too much alike to the point it hurts me. But she doesn’t need to know it. I could pose as her with the wedding dress and walk to the aisle and no one would know. If only…
“Well, I’m a narcissist, just like you are.”, I joke. She hugs me then. Her fingers tightened around my sleek tuxedo she forces me to wear.
“I’m scared.”, she confess to me. “What if he has a second thought and leave me?”, her voice was soft and a bit shaky. I circled my hands around her waist. I shut my eyes and force my words out. “Don’t be ridiculous.” I said to her. “Siwon loves you. He won’t leave you like that.” And she raises her head, her eyes shining full of plea and hope. “Don’t worry, my sister, my other half..”, I sooth. “If he dare to do that, I’m going to hunt him myself.”, I convince her. A small smile bloom on her face and again, I force myself to return it.
“Of course.”, she said, her confidence returns. “He is a good man, and I have you by my side. There’s nothing to worry about.” The way she said it, she was more convincing herself than me, but I nodded anyway.
“Exactly. Now. I’m going to check on him, to make sure he is ready and not leaving you.” I caress her cheeks and let her nuzzles to my hand a bit.
“Thank you, oppa. You are really the best. Love you.” I force a smile again and kiss her cheek. I quickly got myself out of the room. I feel suffocated. I could hardly breathe as I stand in front of the door, can’t bring myself to go yet.
I should be strong, I tell myself again and again. I can make it through. Just a little longer. And after this over, I’m going to go far from here, far from him. I took a deep breath and slowly take a step, and then two. I brace myself to go to his room.
“He looks so nervous.” Siwon’s father said as a greeting when I’ve arrived in front of his room. He smiles while saying this. “You’ll do too when you’re going to marry.” He said again as he pats my shoulder and then walks past me. I gnawed my teeth on my lips. Hopefully that’s the case. Again, I took a deep breath before knocking. A grunt came from behind the door so I open it. Siwon was sitting in front of the mirror, head down with eyes closed. His body taut and even though his jaw set and frown marred his face he is still as handsome as ever.
I don’t know if I have to clear my throat and standing just in front of the door I closed to distance myself from him, or should I go to squeeze his shoulder, assured him that everything will be okay? Even though we both know that it’s actually not okay, at least on my part.
Maybe he knows something is wrong or maybe he stops himself to feel much, but finally he took a deep breath and opens his eyes, casting his stare toward me. Oh, stare he does, but nothing else. I heard a shaky breath, or was it just me who can face the reality that I can’t do this?
“Jongie.”, he whispered.
“Siwon.”, was my only reply. I still don’t know what to do, but he does it for me anyway. He stood and closing the gap between us. With shaking hand, he lifts my chin. “I’m just checking. Don’t want you to run away now, do we?”, a hint of warning from my part. I saw his eyes hardened.
“Tell me once again why I should do this. Why we should do this.”, his hoarse voice asking me.
“Because Yun Hee loves you.”, I answered. The feeling of his index finger on my chin disappear, instead he grab my shoulder and hugs me tightly.
“But I love you.”, he whispers to my ears. The ‘I know’ doesn’t need to be said. We both know.
“You promise. And you never ever broke a promise before.”, I said back. His body shaking now. I close my eyes, because even now I don’t dare to hug him back, too afraid that my resolve would crumble under his embrace. We can’t afford it.
“This is wrong, Siwon.”, I said again. Oh, I can’t. I don’t dare to call him with his nickname anymore. It’s so precious. I’ll treasure it in my heart. “We promised on that night, remember? That it’s the only night that we will ever succumb to this sin.”
“Why should this be a sin?!”, his voice hard. He is fisting my clothes now. “I don’t understand anymore. Why something that we should treasure the most should be called a sin? When a white lie we will do from right now on ward called right?” my breath hitched. Because I don’t know what to answer, because I yearn for what we thought is wrong. But alas, reality is far crueler than a dream. The merciless fate that beckoning us is a test. And what a test this is. Too sweet to taste but too bitter to left.
“Please Siwon, at least for my sake.” I plead. Slowly he detached himself from me, his eyes glisten.
“How cruel the only love I ever know is.” His voice bitter. “Give me one selfish reason for me to continue.” I open my mouth but no sound was out. He smiles sadly. “I know you’ll go once I say the vow.” I lower my head, because it’s true.
“Go.”, he orders. “Go before I change my mind and I swear I will betray this house of God if you’re staying right now!”, he bellowed.
And I run. How cowardly..
If only we have never met that day.. maybe we will never be in love like this.
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