Fanfiction Dissection (My Inner Life 01/40+)
Abyss: With my co-host, Rose, we delved into the prologue of "My Inner Life" by Link's Queen.
Rose: I'm not drunk enough for this!
Abyss: What she meant is that there's a drinking game out there on YouTube. Do not attempt it at one go... You'll certainly die.
Warnings: Spoilers, etc...
Without further ado... the prologue to "My Inner Life"...
Author’s notes: Hello. Thanks for choosing to read my story. As you might know I have become a major Zelda fan in the last year. Ever since I played OoT I have grown a fond interest in Link. (A fond interest in a character that doesn’t speak... I have one too, but that might be because he can’t talk? I can pair him with anyone but myself? Something other than true love?) I started to notice that after I got really into it, I found that I have a strange gift. (To write tiger sex?) A gift to Lucid Dream. (That doesn’t sound like a verb?) I started having dreams about Hyrule, and about Link. In a Lucid Dream you can control your dreams. (Wikipedia tells me otherwise~) The dreams became very real, kinda like a second life, and almost every night I would have another. Starting from where the last left off. (Hello? I don’t know if you’re able to control dreams like that. I’ll believe it when I can spell correctly.) Even to this day I still have them. I find that they help me get through life. (Are you that pathetic...?) I know this may sound queer (while queer is a synonym for weird, the first thought that comes to mind is that it’s gay), but for me the dreams sure help me out. (Does no one like you?) I have shared this story with many other people and so far all has liked it. (By chance, are they blind? Stupid? Just didn’t want to hurt your feelings?) Now as you read this it is told from my perspective or first person view. (Oh joy... I wonder if I’ll commit suicide because of this. Can I just listen to Happy Synthesizer instead?)
You will find that it is very detailed since I remember it all very clearly to this day. (How old were you when you went through this? And your age when you wrote this?) The story takes place after OoT. (Oh... I never would’ve guessed. Especially after that whole speech about your love for the game.) Nothing after that ever happens. No Majora's Mask. (Well, technically, it would’ve happened before in an alternative timeline.) No LttP, or even Oracle of Ages and Seasons. And there is no love relation between Link and Zelda, Link and Ruto, Link and Malon or Link and Saria. (Oh... because I expected Zelda/Link in this fic... You know...) Because of my feelings about Link, the person that he gets involved with in this story is myself or actually is my persona. A persona is for those of you who need to know, a representation of ones personality, or in dictionary terms is, (Persona) n. In biology, same as person. So for all you future readers, this story is based on Jenna, a char that is a representation of my personality. (Well, you now know what she thinks of our intelligence. And why do I have a feeling that this was completely unnecessary?)
But if you think this might be too queer (above comment for the queer thing) then you shouldn't read this. THIS IS NOT THE TYPE OF STORY FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT DISLIKE, OR CANNOT HANDLE SUCH MATERAL AS THE CONTEXT OF THIS STORY. (Material. SPELL IT CORRECTLY BITCH!) But if you seriously believe you can handle the content of this story, then read on. If your squeamish about sex, then you should not read this, since this story is a REAL LEMON and there is a lot of that, heavily detailed. (Real lemon? What the fuck is a fake lemon then?) (Between Link and I that is) Especially during the bonding ceremony. There is also some blood content and strong adult language. (Spoiler alert. You mention blood and adult language, but you don’t mention some other squick factors like... I don’t know... drinking urine? Yeah, nice to know that.) So if that’s too much then you should turn back now. (You know, the only reason I know of this is because I read it from other people.)
Now I have not finished it as of yet. I have to catch up, since the last dream I had was just after Link and I had the blessing ceremony for our twins.(Our 3rd and 4th kids) (Um... yeah. How often does he knock you up? And let’s not mention the whole baby thing with “Link Jr.”.) Right now there is about 100-150 pgs worth. I'm expecting it to reach at least 300-350 probably even more. (Oh fucking hell. Please just stop here.) I will try to up date as often as possible. (Often as we want? How about never?) I hope that some of you like this. (We enjoy making fun of it~) I do not mind sharing it. But please understand that this is very PRECIOUS to me, as well as Link. (I think Link’s too busy puking to respond to that.) So like I said, if the content of this story sounds, (wait, why the comma?) too queer to you, TURN BACK NOW! But to all who wish to continue, happy reading. Thanks,
~*~ Link’s Queen ~*~
Rated R for strong adult language, sex, violence and blood content. (OH MY GOD! WHY THE FUCK IS THIS HERE?!)
AGAIN AS A FINAL WARNING (WHY THE FUCK IS THIS HERE?!): THIS STORY CONTAINS HEAVY SEX, ABULT (oh, I’m laughing) LANGUAGE AND TALKS ABOUT MY PERSONAL ENCOUNTER WITH LINK. (You have minimal dialogue. Your point is?) THIS STORY IS BASED ON DREAMS, DREAMS ABOUT MY LIFE WITH HIM. (Oh no fucking shit.) IF YOU FIND THE CONTENT OF THIS STORY TO BE OFFENSEVE (Offensive), QUEER, OR PLAIN OUT OFF THE WALL (out of the wall? What is that?), THEN DO NOT READ ON!!!!!!! I HAVE GOTTEN WAY TO (Too) MANY FLAMES ABOUT THE CONTENT OF THIS STORY WHEN I HAVE PLACED SEVERAL WARNINGS!!!! (None of which mentioned the pee drinking. Your point is what?) I WILL NOT ACCECPT (why the extra “c”?) ANY MORE FLAMES, RAMBLINGS, CUSSING OR EXCESSIVE LASHING OUT ABOUT THE CHAR (I read that as car.) JENNA, OR REVIEWS ABOUT THE CONTENT OF THIS STORY, EXCESSIVE LASHING OUT, VICIOUS ATTACKS AGAINST MY PERSONALITY (does Jenna have a personality?), OR NON-MATURE CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISIM!!! (Please shut up.) ANY REVIEWS SUBMITTED THAT DO NOT FOLLOW THE ABOUVE GUIDLINES, WILL BE DELETED IMMEDIATELY! (Maybe I should stop this... Nah.) THESE WARNINGS ARE NOT THERE TO LOOK PRETTY, THE AUTHORS PLACE WARNINGS FOR A REASON!!! IT IS TO TELL YOU WHAT THE CONTENT OF THE STORY IS SO THAT IF THE READER FINDS THE CONTENT OF THE STORY OFFENSIVE, THEY WILL NOT READ ON!!! (Yet, nothing about the urine ceremony?) MANY AUTHORS HAVE BEEN COMPLAINING ABOUT UNWANTED, EXCESSIVE, VIOLENT AND JUST PLAIN NASTY REVIEWS THAT HAVE BEEN SUBMITTED BY READERS ABOUT THEIR STORIES, CAUSING FANFICTION TO GRANT AUTHORS THE ABILITY TO DELETE UNWANTED REVIEWS AND BLOCK CERTAIN READERS!! (Where was this when I needed it? I should have been able to do this.) I WILL SAY THIS FOR MYSELF AND FOR ALL AUTHORS ON FANFICTION. NO AUTHOR TWISTS YOUR ARM OR HOLDS YOU AT GUN POINT OR FORCES YOU IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM TO READ THEIR STORIES!! ALL READERS HAVE THE RIGHT NOT TO READ A CERTAIN STORY!!! IT IS YOUR RESOPONSIBILITY TO READ THE WARNINGS AND DECIDE FOR YOUSELF IF THE CONTENT OF THE STORY IS OFFENSIVE TO YOU, AND TO MAKE THE CHOICE TO READ ON OR NOT!!! AND IT ALSO IS THE READERS RESPONSIBILITY TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY ON HOW THEY HANDLE THENSELVES WHEN LEAVING A REVIEW FOR AN AUTHOR!! LEAVING A REVIEW THAT IS VIOLENT IN NATURE ONLY MAKES YOU THE READER LOOK BAD, AND IS VERY IMMATURE. IF ALL US HERE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE ADULTS, WELL THEN, LETS CONDUCTIVE OURSELVES LIKE ADULTS AND NOT LIKE LITTLE KIDS! (Wait, who said we’re all adults?) I ONLY EXPECT THE VIOLENT LASHING OUT AND VICIOUS ATTACKS TO COME FROM TEENANGERS, NOT ADULTS! (Your age has nothing to do with how you handle yourself...) IF YOU PEOPLE REALLY ARE ADULTS THAT ARE CONDUCTING YOURSELVES IN THE MANORS I DECRIBED (...I...seriously?) ABOVE, YOU PEOPLE REALLY ARE SCARING ME! (shut up.)
IT’S A DAMN SHAME TO KNOW THAT THERE ARE ADULTS OUT THERE WHO CANNOT CONDUCTIVE THEMSELVES IN THE SIMPLEST MANORS THEIR PARENTS HAVE TAUGHT THEM! (Why the hell am I reading this again?) ALSO LEAVING MALICIOUS REVIEWS IS ALSO A SIGN OF LOW SELF-ESTEEM. (I beg to differ...) IF ALL YOU PEOPLE KNOW HOW DO (HOW DO WRITE?) IS ATTACK SOMEONE VICIOUSLY, IT’S A SIGN OF SELFISHNESS AND NO RESPECT FOR ONES-SELF! (Or the author is really fucking stupid...) I SUGGEST TO ALL READERS WHO ARE THINKING ABOUT LEAVING A MALICIOUS REVIEW FOR ME, PLEASE GET A HOBBY (“GET A HOBBY” says the one who has sex dreams about fictional characters.) AND LEARN TO CONTROL YOUR ANGER, BECAUSE YOUR ONLY HURTING YOURSELF, NOT ME! (I don’t understand how I’m hurting myself...I mean...I’m just laughing at you...which is pretty funny...) ALSO LEAVING A NASTY REVIEW ONLY MAKES YOU LOOK STUPID, NOT ME!
I FIND IT VERY RIDICULOUS THAT I HAD TO LEAVE A WARNING THIS LONG, BUT IT IS BECAUSE OF THE VERY IMMATURE READERS THAT HAVE SUBMITTED NASTY CHILDISH REVIEWS! (Most of this was just you telling us to be mature adults...Not really a warning, just a lecture...)
AGAIN, PLEASE READ THE ABOVE CONTEXT BEFORE READING ON!!!! (Abyss sort of skipped the rest of that.) (And I had to do it for you...asshole...take over while I bleach my brain.)
Furthermore, I have realized that this story needs some heavy grammar corrections, and that the plot needs some work. (There was a plot? Considering that I know what it’s like to write, I would understand that it’s hard... However, this was worse than what I originally wrote.) Also under the advisement of my friend who had just recently completed two literature classes, has stated the reasons why people had classified Jenna as a “Mary Sue” char and labeled her as “flat”. She has come to the conclusion that most people do not know or understand Jenna’s history, so she has advised me to create an origin story to explain about her history before she met Link. (I advise you to create an actual character that isn’t “perfect”. And please, keep her out of any other fics!) That way she will become more rounded and give people a reason to care about her. It was never in my intentions to create Jenna as a “Mary Sue” char or to make her conceited, because I’m not really like that. (With the long author’s note, which this is a part of, I’d think differently. Anyways, it only gets better, right?) Jenna is a persona char, one that resembles my personality while this story is being told from her perspective. (Wait, so she’s... a different person? WHAT?!) This story is not something that I pulled out of my head like my drawings, it came from my dreams. (Drawings can come from dreams, and vice versa. I can dream of something more interesting than this.) So I understand that revising this story is going to be hard work and will take time. Since this story is being told in the exact, or close to exact order it happened in the dreams, changing how fast Link and Jenna marry isn’t going to be easy. (Wait, you mean the “two months” thing? Maybe you’ll make it three months? OMG! SUCH A FUCKING CHANGE!) Even changing how fast they have sex and revising the Lemon parts also won’t be so easy to do. (Leave it as is. Makes it easier to criticize.) But I’m currently in the process of revising this story, also I have received a college grammar book from my friend and I will be investing in a Beta-Reader. (Who might not accept the request.) I’m also considering taking to literature classes at JC to help boost my writing skills. (When you spell Ganondorf correctly... then I’ll believe you. AND I’M PRETTY SURE THESE THINGS ARE TAUGHT AT A YOUNG AGE!) But now I say this, if you people, the reviewers really have the intentions to help me, them please do it positively and like a mature adult. (When you write sex like a mature adult, then sure.) I’m telling you that it is a proven fact that negative motivation NEVER motivates someone to change. (Negative motivation... never knew such a thing existed.) It never has and it never will. I’m pretty sure your parents have taught you that people only respond to positive motivation and not negative. (My parents didn’t teach me this. In fact, my mother was confused by this. Not that I’d let her read the whole thing.)
I’m not close-minded, I NEVER have been. (I totally believe you...) I have always been open to other people’s thoughts and opinions, its when its done in an inappropriate manner that I turn my nose at it and look away. (It’s when I feel like punching people that I do it? What do you mean?) People have to understand that when you’re an adult, you need to conduct yourself like one and learn how to address other people like one. (Sure, I’ll go to a kindergartner and talk to them like an adult.) You cannot just act childish when you come across something that you DO NOT approve of, you’re only making yourself look bad and that can affect you later on in life. (Oh, where do I begin?) Acting childish and ranting and raving is something I’d expect a little kid would do when he doesn’t get his way. When an adult acts childish over stupid things, that’s looked down upon, and considered to be unhealthy. (So, you’re a hypocrite? I knew it!) I have seen far too many reviews left for me where the reviewers are just ranting and raving like little kids over this story because they do not like it. (WAIT AREN’T YOU JUST RANTING NOW???? WHAT???) (Was this around the bonding ceremony? Because if so, I don’t blame them.) It is only making them look stupid and is very unhealthy. (Abyss would like to know where you took science. She needs to talk to the school board if they didn’t teach you urine is poisonous.) I fear that these people have some serious emotional problems if they get that upset over a story. (Oh, the irony. I’ll leave it at that.) People in control of their emotions and have also obtained some sort of common sense, NEVER let little things get them all riled up. (But we still laugh.) It is very sad when one that is supposed to be an adult, cannot handle them like one. I was NEVER angry with the reviewers not liking the story, it’s how they handled themselves when leaving me the reviews. Getting riled up, ranting and raving, screaming and spitting nails (WTF) over this story is what has caused me to get upset, not the fact that they didn’t like it. (I agree with part of this. You have the right to be upset at the reviews, but they have the right to complain. So shut the fuck up!)
Also as a side note, I NEVER physically hurt ANYONE with this story. I got one reviewer that said. “Oh God please stop writing, your hurting everyone.” Now I want to know where I physically touched that person. (You don’t have to touch someone to hurt them...) I want to know how I’m twisting anyone’s arms to read this. (Just reading the first sentence is enough to hurt, no twisting required.) I have never done anything of the sort in any way, shape or form and I DO NOT appreciate being accused of that! If you’re emotionally hurt over this, its your fault not mine. I’m sorry if it did, but I have placed several warnings describing the content of this story (PEE) and if you know what it contains and you do not like this type of material, then why are you reading it? (Inadequate warnings?) I do not appreciate getting accused for other people’s actions. It is your choice as the reader to read the content of this story and it is not my fault if it upsets you when you knew from the gecko what it contained. (There’s a gecko? DON’T HURT IT!) So please DO NOT flame me about it.
I also feel like a schoolteacher teaching a bunch of little kids. And I find that this really wasn’t necessary (It wasn’t.) and shouldn’t have had to come to this, but it is very hard when your reviewers have forgotten how to conduct themselves like adults. (And when the author forgot that the internet was made up mostly of stupid teens.)
If you honestly think that being malicious is a good thing and that you’re not wrong in doing so, well then your blinded by your own selfish pride. People with common sense learn how to take responsibility for themselves and are able to admit when their wrong. (They’re not their.) (What am I wrong about again?) I have found that many of the reviewers that have left me malicious reviews honestly believe that its appropriate behavior for an adult. (Because writing insert sex with fictional characters is totally adult behavior.) When it really is that they are too self-absorbed in themselves to admit their wrong. (They’re not their.) (ABOUT WHAT?) Again that results from selfish pride. One to scared to admit in front of others that they just might be wrong. (Oh, this is getting funny.) Also, how can any of you hold any right to call Jenna conceited when in reality, your contradicting yourself by being conceited as well? (HOW? I DON’T UNDERSTAND PLEASE TELL ME IN 4 MORE FUCKING PAGES) Being conceited is again selfish pride and being self-absorbed. And yes, it is and always will be a fact that most of the reviewers have been conceited and very contradictive. (And the author’s word is God’s... Yeah...) Please DO NOT leave me a review that only contradicts what you are trying to preach. You should in reality, take your own advice. (shut ^) (Yeah, starting with the preaching author.)
Again I find it very ridiculous that this had to be as long as it is, but it is due to the fact that people not conducting themselves appropriately. Also if I do receive any more malicious reviews, with screaming, spitting nails or ranting and raving over this story because you do not like it then are to self-absorbed to admit that acting like that is wrong, well then you have proven my point! All of this is very self-explanatory! (FUCKING HELL WHAT AM I DOING JESUS FUCKING CHRIST) (So... you admit this didn’t have to be here... Fuck you.)
Now PLEASE DO NOT READ ON if you DO NOT plan on leaving me a review appropriately!
Prologue (FINAL-FUCKING-LY) (Wow, it’s spelled correctly.)
Dreams come in many forms. Some good, some bad, some very realistic, even ones that feels very real. (Author shouldn’t try to sound smart.) (What? Aren’t the last two the same?) A dream may come to us from happy events, or even stem from bad events in our lives. (Yes, because I dream of my grandmother dying over and over again.) Some come to us as a pleasure dream and some come as nightmares. (“Pleasure dream”? What the fuck is that?) Some become vague memories after time, while some stay very rich in our minds. (“Rich in our minds” sounds weird.) (IDK, It’s the best thing she’s wrote so far.) This is a story about a dream that I had. A dream that became more dreams. A dream that would end one night then resumes the next. It became like a second life. Ever since I became a Zelda fan, I grew an interest in Link. I thought of him as the perfect man. (LOOK! YOU MENTIONED THIS LIKE IN THE FIRST FUCKING SENTENCE OF THE AUTHOR’S NOTE!) (You like the silent ones that can’t speak up for themselves, eh?) One that you could not find of this world. (Fictional character. OF COURSE HE’S NOT IN THIS WORLD!) I thought of him as a man that should have been. (He’s a fucking elf) (Actually, Hylian’s a subspecies of humans, but that’s besides the point. However, she should just stop with this.) (DO YOU THINK HE HAS A WEIRD ELF DICK) (What the fuck, Rose?) The more that he attracted my attention the more I became more attracted to him. (So, is this a roundabout way of saying “I was attracted to him more and more”?) (WHAT’S HAPPENING I DON’T UNDERSTAND) I felt like there was a connection between him and me. (Yeah; it’s called the controller. Everyone who’s played the game has the same connection.) (Hopefully the battery doesn’t die. That would be sad :o( ) Then he became a part of me, (and made cat-like sounds) (WHAT) and after that I fell deeply in love with him. (WHAT) (So you guys fucked before you fell in love with him?)
I know that may sound queer (stop with the word, “queer”!) to you but love is a mysterious thing and should not be taken lightly. (Yet you do the same?) Love is a very strong emotion, an emotion that should be treasured. (It’s just a chemical in your brain (which I just realized you don’t have), calm the fuck down.) (The author thinks guys can go for multiple rounds with no rest. I win.) Love comes from the heart, (BRAIN BITCH) but when it takes hold, it’s got you. (Oh, look. People who’ve fallen in and out of love~) I quite don't understand it myself, but I do know that when I first laid my eyes upon Link I fell in love with him. (Wait, you just said you had sex then fell in love. STOP WITH THE CONTRADICTIONS!) My heart just told me it was right. (Both my heart and mind told me it was right to punch my little sister.) (I’m sure that’s what happened.) Told me he was the one, the one I had been searching for. (Hey, guess what? My heart told me that when I met a guy. Stopped telling me that a few days later. SUCH AN ANNOYING FRIEND!) Ever since then I have felt that it was destiny that has brought me to him. (What about the people who don’t believe in shit like that?) Even in my mind it feels the same. (My mind told me it was right to read this.) I don't consider myself any different from anyone else. (Yeah, except you’re part of a near extinct race, every fucking single person likes you.) Though I have love for someone that is not really there, (I once loved my imaginary puppy.) he will always remain very real to me inside my heart and in my mind. (This sounds a lot like Schizophrenia...) (I just want to say Link is real by definition. He exists, as a fictional character.) Even to this day I still love him. He has kept me very happy. (Because you love being his bitch.) He has made me happy when I was sad. (Food makes me happy. And It’s real.) He has made me feel stronger about myself. (So you mean setting back the feminist movement (or that Women’s Rights movement) back two centuries makes you feel strong?) He has even taken care of me in ways that no one else can. (...Um, that’s sad.) Even though I have feelings for him, I'm not any different from the rest of you. (I totally believe that.) I will always hold him close to me in my heart. He is still on my mind and I still have dreams. The connection stills remains strong, (Do you have Duracell batteries? Jesus Christ.) and the dreams very real. (I’m pretty sure that indicates some mental problem. Or that your life is pathetic.)
I lived an entire life with Link in Hyrule. All stemming from a series of dreams. Dreams that I want to have. Dreams that I make happen. (So, we finally learn something... that we probably forgot from the beginning.) From the first day I met him, to the birth of our first child (the child’s fucked up), to even the days when Link and I prepared our family in the event that Gannon should return. (Which seems to be an excuse for a lot of things you receive.) This book is based on my inner life. (Oh no fucking shit.) A second life lived in a (galaxy) far (far) away (*insert Star Wars theme*) land in another time line in another dimension. (I would’ve never guessed.) A tale of love, passion, despair and hope. (WHAT DESPAIR?!) I enjoyed my inner life. (Yeah, most people enjoy their inner life.) I looked forward to going to sleep to it every night. (I do too. But it might be for a different reason.) And I look forward to ones that will come, because LOVE WILL NEVER DIE. (Is this your catchphrase?) (Until your batteries finally die. No more connection :o( )
(Abyss died on the inside. Rose is trying to... forget this. Abyss will also try to find a darker color next time.)
Rose: I'm not drunk enough for this!
Abyss: What she meant is that there's a drinking game out there on YouTube. Do not attempt it at one go... You'll certainly die.
Warnings: Spoilers, etc...
Without further ado... the prologue to "My Inner Life"...
Author’s notes: Hello. Thanks for choosing to read my story. As you might know I have become a major Zelda fan in the last year. Ever since I played OoT I have grown a fond interest in Link. (A fond interest in a character that doesn’t speak... I have one too, but that might be because he can’t talk? I can pair him with anyone but myself? Something other than true love?) I started to notice that after I got really into it, I found that I have a strange gift. (To write tiger sex?) A gift to Lucid Dream. (That doesn’t sound like a verb?) I started having dreams about Hyrule, and about Link. In a Lucid Dream you can control your dreams. (Wikipedia tells me otherwise~) The dreams became very real, kinda like a second life, and almost every night I would have another. Starting from where the last left off. (Hello? I don’t know if you’re able to control dreams like that. I’ll believe it when I can spell correctly.) Even to this day I still have them. I find that they help me get through life. (Are you that pathetic...?) I know this may sound queer (while queer is a synonym for weird, the first thought that comes to mind is that it’s gay), but for me the dreams sure help me out. (Does no one like you?) I have shared this story with many other people and so far all has liked it. (By chance, are they blind? Stupid? Just didn’t want to hurt your feelings?) Now as you read this it is told from my perspective or first person view. (Oh joy... I wonder if I’ll commit suicide because of this. Can I just listen to Happy Synthesizer instead?)
You will find that it is very detailed since I remember it all very clearly to this day. (How old were you when you went through this? And your age when you wrote this?) The story takes place after OoT. (Oh... I never would’ve guessed. Especially after that whole speech about your love for the game.) Nothing after that ever happens. No Majora's Mask. (Well, technically, it would’ve happened before in an alternative timeline.) No LttP, or even Oracle of Ages and Seasons. And there is no love relation between Link and Zelda, Link and Ruto, Link and Malon or Link and Saria. (Oh... because I expected Zelda/Link in this fic... You know...) Because of my feelings about Link, the person that he gets involved with in this story is myself or actually is my persona. A persona is for those of you who need to know, a representation of ones personality, or in dictionary terms is, (Persona) n. In biology, same as person. So for all you future readers, this story is based on Jenna, a char that is a representation of my personality. (Well, you now know what she thinks of our intelligence. And why do I have a feeling that this was completely unnecessary?)
But if you think this might be too queer (above comment for the queer thing) then you shouldn't read this. THIS IS NOT THE TYPE OF STORY FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT DISLIKE, OR CANNOT HANDLE SUCH MATERAL AS THE CONTEXT OF THIS STORY. (Material. SPELL IT CORRECTLY BITCH!) But if you seriously believe you can handle the content of this story, then read on. If your squeamish about sex, then you should not read this, since this story is a REAL LEMON and there is a lot of that, heavily detailed. (Real lemon? What the fuck is a fake lemon then?) (Between Link and I that is) Especially during the bonding ceremony. There is also some blood content and strong adult language. (Spoiler alert. You mention blood and adult language, but you don’t mention some other squick factors like... I don’t know... drinking urine? Yeah, nice to know that.) So if that’s too much then you should turn back now. (You know, the only reason I know of this is because I read it from other people.)
Now I have not finished it as of yet. I have to catch up, since the last dream I had was just after Link and I had the blessing ceremony for our twins.(Our 3rd and 4th kids) (Um... yeah. How often does he knock you up? And let’s not mention the whole baby thing with “Link Jr.”.) Right now there is about 100-150 pgs worth. I'm expecting it to reach at least 300-350 probably even more. (Oh fucking hell. Please just stop here.) I will try to up date as often as possible. (Often as we want? How about never?) I hope that some of you like this. (We enjoy making fun of it~) I do not mind sharing it. But please understand that this is very PRECIOUS to me, as well as Link. (I think Link’s too busy puking to respond to that.) So like I said, if the content of this story sounds, (wait, why the comma?) too queer to you, TURN BACK NOW! But to all who wish to continue, happy reading. Thanks,
~*~ Link’s Queen ~*~
Rated R for strong adult language, sex, violence and blood content. (OH MY GOD! WHY THE FUCK IS THIS HERE?!)
AGAIN AS A FINAL WARNING (WHY THE FUCK IS THIS HERE?!): THIS STORY CONTAINS HEAVY SEX, ABULT (oh, I’m laughing) LANGUAGE AND TALKS ABOUT MY PERSONAL ENCOUNTER WITH LINK. (You have minimal dialogue. Your point is?) THIS STORY IS BASED ON DREAMS, DREAMS ABOUT MY LIFE WITH HIM. (Oh no fucking shit.) IF YOU FIND THE CONTENT OF THIS STORY TO BE OFFENSEVE (Offensive), QUEER, OR PLAIN OUT OFF THE WALL (out of the wall? What is that?), THEN DO NOT READ ON!!!!!!! I HAVE GOTTEN WAY TO (Too) MANY FLAMES ABOUT THE CONTENT OF THIS STORY WHEN I HAVE PLACED SEVERAL WARNINGS!!!! (None of which mentioned the pee drinking. Your point is what?) I WILL NOT ACCECPT (why the extra “c”?) ANY MORE FLAMES, RAMBLINGS, CUSSING OR EXCESSIVE LASHING OUT ABOUT THE CHAR (I read that as car.) JENNA, OR REVIEWS ABOUT THE CONTENT OF THIS STORY, EXCESSIVE LASHING OUT, VICIOUS ATTACKS AGAINST MY PERSONALITY (does Jenna have a personality?), OR NON-MATURE CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISIM!!! (Please shut up.) ANY REVIEWS SUBMITTED THAT DO NOT FOLLOW THE ABOUVE GUIDLINES, WILL BE DELETED IMMEDIATELY! (Maybe I should stop this... Nah.) THESE WARNINGS ARE NOT THERE TO LOOK PRETTY, THE AUTHORS PLACE WARNINGS FOR A REASON!!! IT IS TO TELL YOU WHAT THE CONTENT OF THE STORY IS SO THAT IF THE READER FINDS THE CONTENT OF THE STORY OFFENSIVE, THEY WILL NOT READ ON!!! (Yet, nothing about the urine ceremony?) MANY AUTHORS HAVE BEEN COMPLAINING ABOUT UNWANTED, EXCESSIVE, VIOLENT AND JUST PLAIN NASTY REVIEWS THAT HAVE BEEN SUBMITTED BY READERS ABOUT THEIR STORIES, CAUSING FANFICTION TO GRANT AUTHORS THE ABILITY TO DELETE UNWANTED REVIEWS AND BLOCK CERTAIN READERS!! (Where was this when I needed it? I should have been able to do this.) I WILL SAY THIS FOR MYSELF AND FOR ALL AUTHORS ON FANFICTION. NO AUTHOR TWISTS YOUR ARM OR HOLDS YOU AT GUN POINT OR FORCES YOU IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM TO READ THEIR STORIES!! ALL READERS HAVE THE RIGHT NOT TO READ A CERTAIN STORY!!! IT IS YOUR RESOPONSIBILITY TO READ THE WARNINGS AND DECIDE FOR YOUSELF IF THE CONTENT OF THE STORY IS OFFENSIVE TO YOU, AND TO MAKE THE CHOICE TO READ ON OR NOT!!! AND IT ALSO IS THE READERS RESPONSIBILITY TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY ON HOW THEY HANDLE THENSELVES WHEN LEAVING A REVIEW FOR AN AUTHOR!! LEAVING A REVIEW THAT IS VIOLENT IN NATURE ONLY MAKES YOU THE READER LOOK BAD, AND IS VERY IMMATURE. IF ALL US HERE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE ADULTS, WELL THEN, LETS CONDUCTIVE OURSELVES LIKE ADULTS AND NOT LIKE LITTLE KIDS! (Wait, who said we’re all adults?) I ONLY EXPECT THE VIOLENT LASHING OUT AND VICIOUS ATTACKS TO COME FROM TEENANGERS, NOT ADULTS! (Your age has nothing to do with how you handle yourself...) IF YOU PEOPLE REALLY ARE ADULTS THAT ARE CONDUCTING YOURSELVES IN THE MANORS I DECRIBED (...I...seriously?) ABOVE, YOU PEOPLE REALLY ARE SCARING ME! (shut up.)
IT’S A DAMN SHAME TO KNOW THAT THERE ARE ADULTS OUT THERE WHO CANNOT CONDUCTIVE THEMSELVES IN THE SIMPLEST MANORS THEIR PARENTS HAVE TAUGHT THEM! (Why the hell am I reading this again?) ALSO LEAVING MALICIOUS REVIEWS IS ALSO A SIGN OF LOW SELF-ESTEEM. (I beg to differ...) IF ALL YOU PEOPLE KNOW HOW DO (HOW DO WRITE?) IS ATTACK SOMEONE VICIOUSLY, IT’S A SIGN OF SELFISHNESS AND NO RESPECT FOR ONES-SELF! (Or the author is really fucking stupid...) I SUGGEST TO ALL READERS WHO ARE THINKING ABOUT LEAVING A MALICIOUS REVIEW FOR ME, PLEASE GET A HOBBY (“GET A HOBBY” says the one who has sex dreams about fictional characters.) AND LEARN TO CONTROL YOUR ANGER, BECAUSE YOUR ONLY HURTING YOURSELF, NOT ME! (I don’t understand how I’m hurting myself...I mean...I’m just laughing at you...which is pretty funny...) ALSO LEAVING A NASTY REVIEW ONLY MAKES YOU LOOK STUPID, NOT ME!
I FIND IT VERY RIDICULOUS THAT I HAD TO LEAVE A WARNING THIS LONG, BUT IT IS BECAUSE OF THE VERY IMMATURE READERS THAT HAVE SUBMITTED NASTY CHILDISH REVIEWS! (Most of this was just you telling us to be mature adults...Not really a warning, just a lecture...)
AGAIN, PLEASE READ THE ABOVE CONTEXT BEFORE READING ON!!!! (Abyss sort of skipped the rest of that.) (And I had to do it for you...asshole...take over while I bleach my brain.)
Furthermore, I have realized that this story needs some heavy grammar corrections, and that the plot needs some work. (There was a plot? Considering that I know what it’s like to write, I would understand that it’s hard... However, this was worse than what I originally wrote.) Also under the advisement of my friend who had just recently completed two literature classes, has stated the reasons why people had classified Jenna as a “Mary Sue” char and labeled her as “flat”. She has come to the conclusion that most people do not know or understand Jenna’s history, so she has advised me to create an origin story to explain about her history before she met Link. (I advise you to create an actual character that isn’t “perfect”. And please, keep her out of any other fics!) That way she will become more rounded and give people a reason to care about her. It was never in my intentions to create Jenna as a “Mary Sue” char or to make her conceited, because I’m not really like that. (With the long author’s note, which this is a part of, I’d think differently. Anyways, it only gets better, right?) Jenna is a persona char, one that resembles my personality while this story is being told from her perspective. (Wait, so she’s... a different person? WHAT?!) This story is not something that I pulled out of my head like my drawings, it came from my dreams. (Drawings can come from dreams, and vice versa. I can dream of something more interesting than this.) So I understand that revising this story is going to be hard work and will take time. Since this story is being told in the exact, or close to exact order it happened in the dreams, changing how fast Link and Jenna marry isn’t going to be easy. (Wait, you mean the “two months” thing? Maybe you’ll make it three months? OMG! SUCH A FUCKING CHANGE!) Even changing how fast they have sex and revising the Lemon parts also won’t be so easy to do. (Leave it as is. Makes it easier to criticize.) But I’m currently in the process of revising this story, also I have received a college grammar book from my friend and I will be investing in a Beta-Reader. (Who might not accept the request.) I’m also considering taking to literature classes at JC to help boost my writing skills. (When you spell Ganondorf correctly... then I’ll believe you. AND I’M PRETTY SURE THESE THINGS ARE TAUGHT AT A YOUNG AGE!) But now I say this, if you people, the reviewers really have the intentions to help me, them please do it positively and like a mature adult. (When you write sex like a mature adult, then sure.) I’m telling you that it is a proven fact that negative motivation NEVER motivates someone to change. (Negative motivation... never knew such a thing existed.) It never has and it never will. I’m pretty sure your parents have taught you that people only respond to positive motivation and not negative. (My parents didn’t teach me this. In fact, my mother was confused by this. Not that I’d let her read the whole thing.)
I’m not close-minded, I NEVER have been. (I totally believe you...) I have always been open to other people’s thoughts and opinions, its when its done in an inappropriate manner that I turn my nose at it and look away. (It’s when I feel like punching people that I do it? What do you mean?) People have to understand that when you’re an adult, you need to conduct yourself like one and learn how to address other people like one. (Sure, I’ll go to a kindergartner and talk to them like an adult.) You cannot just act childish when you come across something that you DO NOT approve of, you’re only making yourself look bad and that can affect you later on in life. (Oh, where do I begin?) Acting childish and ranting and raving is something I’d expect a little kid would do when he doesn’t get his way. When an adult acts childish over stupid things, that’s looked down upon, and considered to be unhealthy. (So, you’re a hypocrite? I knew it!) I have seen far too many reviews left for me where the reviewers are just ranting and raving like little kids over this story because they do not like it. (WAIT AREN’T YOU JUST RANTING NOW???? WHAT???) (Was this around the bonding ceremony? Because if so, I don’t blame them.) It is only making them look stupid and is very unhealthy. (Abyss would like to know where you took science. She needs to talk to the school board if they didn’t teach you urine is poisonous.) I fear that these people have some serious emotional problems if they get that upset over a story. (Oh, the irony. I’ll leave it at that.) People in control of their emotions and have also obtained some sort of common sense, NEVER let little things get them all riled up. (But we still laugh.) It is very sad when one that is supposed to be an adult, cannot handle them like one. I was NEVER angry with the reviewers not liking the story, it’s how they handled themselves when leaving me the reviews. Getting riled up, ranting and raving, screaming and spitting nails (WTF) over this story is what has caused me to get upset, not the fact that they didn’t like it. (I agree with part of this. You have the right to be upset at the reviews, but they have the right to complain. So shut the fuck up!)
Also as a side note, I NEVER physically hurt ANYONE with this story. I got one reviewer that said. “Oh God please stop writing, your hurting everyone.” Now I want to know where I physically touched that person. (You don’t have to touch someone to hurt them...) I want to know how I’m twisting anyone’s arms to read this. (Just reading the first sentence is enough to hurt, no twisting required.) I have never done anything of the sort in any way, shape or form and I DO NOT appreciate being accused of that! If you’re emotionally hurt over this, its your fault not mine. I’m sorry if it did, but I have placed several warnings describing the content of this story (PEE) and if you know what it contains and you do not like this type of material, then why are you reading it? (Inadequate warnings?) I do not appreciate getting accused for other people’s actions. It is your choice as the reader to read the content of this story and it is not my fault if it upsets you when you knew from the gecko what it contained. (There’s a gecko? DON’T HURT IT!) So please DO NOT flame me about it.
I also feel like a schoolteacher teaching a bunch of little kids. And I find that this really wasn’t necessary (It wasn’t.) and shouldn’t have had to come to this, but it is very hard when your reviewers have forgotten how to conduct themselves like adults. (And when the author forgot that the internet was made up mostly of stupid teens.)
If you honestly think that being malicious is a good thing and that you’re not wrong in doing so, well then your blinded by your own selfish pride. People with common sense learn how to take responsibility for themselves and are able to admit when their wrong. (They’re not their.) (What am I wrong about again?) I have found that many of the reviewers that have left me malicious reviews honestly believe that its appropriate behavior for an adult. (Because writing insert sex with fictional characters is totally adult behavior.) When it really is that they are too self-absorbed in themselves to admit their wrong. (They’re not their.) (ABOUT WHAT?) Again that results from selfish pride. One to scared to admit in front of others that they just might be wrong. (Oh, this is getting funny.) Also, how can any of you hold any right to call Jenna conceited when in reality, your contradicting yourself by being conceited as well? (HOW? I DON’T UNDERSTAND PLEASE TELL ME IN 4 MORE FUCKING PAGES) Being conceited is again selfish pride and being self-absorbed. And yes, it is and always will be a fact that most of the reviewers have been conceited and very contradictive. (And the author’s word is God’s... Yeah...) Please DO NOT leave me a review that only contradicts what you are trying to preach. You should in reality, take your own advice. (shut ^) (Yeah, starting with the preaching author.)
Again I find it very ridiculous that this had to be as long as it is, but it is due to the fact that people not conducting themselves appropriately. Also if I do receive any more malicious reviews, with screaming, spitting nails or ranting and raving over this story because you do not like it then are to self-absorbed to admit that acting like that is wrong, well then you have proven my point! All of this is very self-explanatory! (FUCKING HELL WHAT AM I DOING JESUS FUCKING CHRIST) (So... you admit this didn’t have to be here... Fuck you.)
Now PLEASE DO NOT READ ON if you DO NOT plan on leaving me a review appropriately!
Prologue (FINAL-FUCKING-LY) (Wow, it’s spelled correctly.)
Dreams come in many forms. Some good, some bad, some very realistic, even ones that feels very real. (Author shouldn’t try to sound smart.) (What? Aren’t the last two the same?) A dream may come to us from happy events, or even stem from bad events in our lives. (Yes, because I dream of my grandmother dying over and over again.) Some come to us as a pleasure dream and some come as nightmares. (“Pleasure dream”? What the fuck is that?) Some become vague memories after time, while some stay very rich in our minds. (“Rich in our minds” sounds weird.) (IDK, It’s the best thing she’s wrote so far.) This is a story about a dream that I had. A dream that became more dreams. A dream that would end one night then resumes the next. It became like a second life. Ever since I became a Zelda fan, I grew an interest in Link. I thought of him as the perfect man. (LOOK! YOU MENTIONED THIS LIKE IN THE FIRST FUCKING SENTENCE OF THE AUTHOR’S NOTE!) (You like the silent ones that can’t speak up for themselves, eh?) One that you could not find of this world. (Fictional character. OF COURSE HE’S NOT IN THIS WORLD!) I thought of him as a man that should have been. (He’s a fucking elf) (Actually, Hylian’s a subspecies of humans, but that’s besides the point. However, she should just stop with this.) (DO YOU THINK HE HAS A WEIRD ELF DICK) (What the fuck, Rose?) The more that he attracted my attention the more I became more attracted to him. (So, is this a roundabout way of saying “I was attracted to him more and more”?) (WHAT’S HAPPENING I DON’T UNDERSTAND) I felt like there was a connection between him and me. (Yeah; it’s called the controller. Everyone who’s played the game has the same connection.) (Hopefully the battery doesn’t die. That would be sad :o( ) Then he became a part of me, (and made cat-like sounds) (WHAT) and after that I fell deeply in love with him. (WHAT) (So you guys fucked before you fell in love with him?)
I know that may sound queer (stop with the word, “queer”!) to you but love is a mysterious thing and should not be taken lightly. (Yet you do the same?) Love is a very strong emotion, an emotion that should be treasured. (It’s just a chemical in your brain (which I just realized you don’t have), calm the fuck down.) (The author thinks guys can go for multiple rounds with no rest. I win.) Love comes from the heart, (BRAIN BITCH) but when it takes hold, it’s got you. (Oh, look. People who’ve fallen in and out of love~) I quite don't understand it myself, but I do know that when I first laid my eyes upon Link I fell in love with him. (Wait, you just said you had sex then fell in love. STOP WITH THE CONTRADICTIONS!) My heart just told me it was right. (Both my heart and mind told me it was right to punch my little sister.) (I’m sure that’s what happened.) Told me he was the one, the one I had been searching for. (Hey, guess what? My heart told me that when I met a guy. Stopped telling me that a few days later. SUCH AN ANNOYING FRIEND!) Ever since then I have felt that it was destiny that has brought me to him. (What about the people who don’t believe in shit like that?) Even in my mind it feels the same. (My mind told me it was right to read this.) I don't consider myself any different from anyone else. (Yeah, except you’re part of a near extinct race, every fucking single person likes you.) Though I have love for someone that is not really there, (I once loved my imaginary puppy.) he will always remain very real to me inside my heart and in my mind. (This sounds a lot like Schizophrenia...) (I just want to say Link is real by definition. He exists, as a fictional character.) Even to this day I still love him. He has kept me very happy. (Because you love being his bitch.) He has made me happy when I was sad. (Food makes me happy. And It’s real.) He has made me feel stronger about myself. (So you mean setting back the feminist movement (or that Women’s Rights movement) back two centuries makes you feel strong?) He has even taken care of me in ways that no one else can. (...Um, that’s sad.) Even though I have feelings for him, I'm not any different from the rest of you. (I totally believe that.) I will always hold him close to me in my heart. He is still on my mind and I still have dreams. The connection stills remains strong, (Do you have Duracell batteries? Jesus Christ.) and the dreams very real. (I’m pretty sure that indicates some mental problem. Or that your life is pathetic.)
I lived an entire life with Link in Hyrule. All stemming from a series of dreams. Dreams that I want to have. Dreams that I make happen. (So, we finally learn something... that we probably forgot from the beginning.) From the first day I met him, to the birth of our first child (the child’s fucked up), to even the days when Link and I prepared our family in the event that Gannon should return. (Which seems to be an excuse for a lot of things you receive.) This book is based on my inner life. (Oh no fucking shit.) A second life lived in a (galaxy) far (far) away (*insert Star Wars theme*) land in another time line in another dimension. (I would’ve never guessed.) A tale of love, passion, despair and hope. (WHAT DESPAIR?!) I enjoyed my inner life. (Yeah, most people enjoy their inner life.) I looked forward to going to sleep to it every night. (I do too. But it might be for a different reason.) And I look forward to ones that will come, because LOVE WILL NEVER DIE. (Is this your catchphrase?) (Until your batteries finally die. No more connection :o( )
(Abyss died on the inside. Rose is trying to... forget this. Abyss will also try to find a darker color next time.)