Backlash?

[handslikeclouds]

Wow, what a rant!

http://swordmaiden.com/combat/toughlove/

The article is VERY harsh.

The rest of the site is worth perusing, too, for women and men fighters both.

I'd be interested to hear all your views--especially you women who fight.

What about applying this type of "toughlove" to other areas of the SCA besides fighting?

Comments

[ornerie]

used to fight, do I count

[handslikeclouds]

I feel somewhat guilty of this, too.

Probably my Gemini quality, but I get really into art, then hit some snag, and move on to get really into something else (right now, it's fighting training).

Nobody laughs at you when you look like you're sucking lemons. We just go look for the Tall Gothy Apprentice Boy to make us a lemon drop of our own!

[fearga]

Heh. She works with me at the costume shop...we have this conversation quite a bit covering all aspects of the SCA....

[handslikeclouds]

Interesting...I wondered if she was the same as posted occasionally to the fighter's list.

Will she be at SoK? I'd be interested in meeting her.

[elfreda]

Wow! Great rant.
I've seen (only a few) women that want to be known as a fighter, but don't want to do the work. I suspect I would have been that way if I'd ever tried fighting!

There are a few guys that could qualify for many/most of those bullet points, too. (Nobody that we're currently associated with though!!!)

[parlor_games]

I was thinking the exact same thing - Thorin and I have conversations about women *and* men who would fit the description in the article perfectly. I feel it is more about the athletic vs. non-athletic mind. People who are athletes - who maybe grew up doing sports, enjoy competition, and have the discipline to practice - probably have a better time wrapping their brains around the fighter mentality. Yes, that is a generalization, yes there are exceptions, but I think about the female fighters I know who do really well, and they are generally people who enjoy being physical

[handslikeclouds]

Interesting thing about "enjoy the pain and suffering".... Part of what I like about fighting is getting battered around. I mean, there's something really satisfying about taking a really good head shot. There's something even more satisfying about blocking the shot, and feeling the force charge through your shield and into your head, knowing it was really damaging, and that it doesn't count because you blocked it with skill.

I just mean to say, enjoying the physicality of the hitting, getting hit and struggling helps sustain me through the dark valleys of non-improvement.

(Also, I think getting hit is a good training tool. I've been working with a young woman at Wednesday practise who doesn't have armor yet. I let her chase me down and hit me, and yell "good" or "no" when appropriate, so she can learn how to throw good blows while moving. Nothing like hitting a pell, actually).

[handslikeclouds]

Absolutely, guys as well as girls. Don't you find that guys whine less than the article's steriotypes, though? In my experience, they just quietly find other interests, or stop showing up.

In fairness, I can't think of a single woman fighter who whines as much as in the article, either.

[not_justagirl]

_LOVED_ that article... and yes, this toughlove can be applied to soooo many areas of everything.

I am new to fighting... so far, I'm stoked about it. My number one goal is to be competent enough to not hurt myself or anyone else... number two is to have fun... so far, so good. We'll see what happens when I can devote more time to it... and if not taking that time away from sewing or weaving or other things means that I'm shield wall girl in every war *shrugs* I'm good with protecting the piker that's getting the kills. It is all about the choices that need to be made and currently I'm choosing to devote less time to learning how to fight and more to other projects.

this is all for _fun_!!! Do things that you enjoy. I know too many people that do things they don't enjoy because they feel they have to. What's the point? And if you're not succeeding at things that you don't enjoy why are you whining about it?? Find something else to do.

*nods* I am a fan of the put up or shut up mentality...