(no subject)
Extended Headcanon
- He is American [parents born in France, himself born in America] but pretends to be born and raised French to disguise his identity and keep up the show that all Spies are from France with the additional benefit of pissing off Soldier. His overdone standard French accent changes to be more like his parents' regional accent when he's in a stressed state. When he is being completely honest or dead-serious, he has a flat Midland American accent, which is the one he grew up with. Very few people have ever heard it. Scout's Mother is one of them.
- UnSpylike things RED Spy has been caught doing while drunk or while he thinks no one is watching: eating cheeseburgers, putting his feet up on tables, yawning and burping in an extremely crude manner, tripping on the stairs, knocking over weapon racks, cursing up storms in unaccented English, laughing at poop and fart jokes, running back and forth from his room to the laundry room in boxers and balaclava only... among others. In general, secretly being an overgrown frat boy. He will not admit to remembering any of them if you bring it up. If you keep bringing them up, expect your belongings to start disappearing.
- Very, very closed off about himself. In all his years of living with the team, there is no one that knows who he is. All they know is what he's like. The rest of the team finds him irritating and superficial and a terrible person in general because it's true and because that's exactly what Spy wants them to think. It keeps them distant. But he still craves human contact like everyone else. So he wanders around annoying everyone.
- Damn good at what he does. Speaks English, French, German, Russian, Italian, Spanish fluently, other languages not so fluently. Good at code-breaking and lock-picking and using/dismantling electronics/figuring out how electronic things work [building them is another story and the laboreur's job]. Very smart. Loyal to RED because they pay him. Takes pride in his job and is serious about it because it's important to him.
- ...because he doesn't know what he'd do or who he'd be without it. If he were magically forced to open up completely, he would have no idea what to do. There would be nothing there.
The Nine Circles of RED Spy:
1] On the surface: slick, civilized, smug.
2] On the job: efficient, merciless, serious.
3] Surface sense of humor: intelligent, cynical, dry.
4] Real sense of humor: perverted, immature, trolly.
5] When comfortable/relaxed/drunk: rude, crude, blunt.
6] Regarding most people: selfish, manipulative, conscienceless.
7] Regarding those he cares about [but good luck getting there. Population count: 1, Scout's mother]: supportive, gentle, and fiercely protective. Say anything you want about them, think anything you want about them, but lay a finger on them and he will gut you without hesitation. People he cares about are extensions of himself and he will treat them as such. But he's not possessive or jealous. If they want to leave they can go as long as they don't take his secrets with them. [Still trolls them though. Sometimes calls Scout's mother pretending to be a telemarketer to hear her voice again and find out how she's doing.]
8] Regarding self: cynical, resigned, viciously fatalistic. Sees life as a series of circumstances, choices and consequences and nothing more. Claims to take pride in the fact that he is a selfish asshole and 99% of the time it's true, but...
9] Real RED Spy: ...he doesn't know. He has so many fake layers merged with real layers merged with fake layers that he's just as lost as you. He knows who he used to be 20 years ago, but he's not that person any more. He can't be after a lifetime of being a Spy. The only time he opens up about himself around the base is in disguise as other people, pretending that his problems are theirs. If Spy is lonely, Scout suddenly wants to play baseball. If Spy is frustrated, Medic walks in and begins bitching about everything. If Spy is in a rare self-deprecating mood, a second Demoman quietly passes out drunk somewhere. If he's caught, he passes it off as more trolling attempts or disguise practice and denies everything.
- Beneath the balaclava, his hair is dark brown, short, and messy. He doesn't bother with it besides taking scissors to it every couple of weeks. Who cares? No one will ever see it. Unmasked, it sticks out all over the place like John Sheppard from SGA.
- He is American [parents born in France, himself born in America] but pretends to be born and raised French to disguise his identity and keep up the show that all Spies are from France with the additional benefit of pissing off Soldier. His overdone standard French accent changes to be more like his parents' regional accent when he's in a stressed state. When he is being completely honest or dead-serious, he has a flat Midland American accent, which is the one he grew up with. Very few people have ever heard it. Scout's Mother is one of them.
- UnSpylike things RED Spy has been caught doing while drunk or while he thinks no one is watching: eating cheeseburgers, putting his feet up on tables, yawning and burping in an extremely crude manner, tripping on the stairs, knocking over weapon racks, cursing up storms in unaccented English, laughing at poop and fart jokes, running back and forth from his room to the laundry room in boxers and balaclava only... among others. In general, secretly being an overgrown frat boy. He will not admit to remembering any of them if you bring it up. If you keep bringing them up, expect your belongings to start disappearing.
- Very, very closed off about himself. In all his years of living with the team, there is no one that knows who he is. All they know is what he's like. The rest of the team finds him irritating and superficial and a terrible person in general because it's true and because that's exactly what Spy wants them to think. It keeps them distant. But he still craves human contact like everyone else. So he wanders around annoying everyone.
- Damn good at what he does. Speaks English, French, German, Russian, Italian, Spanish fluently, other languages not so fluently. Good at code-breaking and lock-picking and using/dismantling electronics/figuring out how electronic things work [building them is another story and the laboreur's job]. Very smart. Loyal to RED because they pay him. Takes pride in his job and is serious about it because it's important to him.
- ...because he doesn't know what he'd do or who he'd be without it. If he were magically forced to open up completely, he would have no idea what to do. There would be nothing there.
The Nine Circles of RED Spy:
1] On the surface: slick, civilized, smug.
2] On the job: efficient, merciless, serious.
3] Surface sense of humor: intelligent, cynical, dry.
4] Real sense of humor: perverted, immature, trolly.
5] When comfortable/relaxed/drunk: rude, crude, blunt.
6] Regarding most people: selfish, manipulative, conscienceless.
7] Regarding those he cares about [but good luck getting there. Population count: 1, Scout's mother]: supportive, gentle, and fiercely protective. Say anything you want about them, think anything you want about them, but lay a finger on them and he will gut you without hesitation. People he cares about are extensions of himself and he will treat them as such. But he's not possessive or jealous. If they want to leave they can go as long as they don't take his secrets with them. [Still trolls them though. Sometimes calls Scout's mother pretending to be a telemarketer to hear her voice again and find out how she's doing.]
8] Regarding self: cynical, resigned, viciously fatalistic. Sees life as a series of circumstances, choices and consequences and nothing more. Claims to take pride in the fact that he is a selfish asshole and 99% of the time it's true, but...
9] Real RED Spy: ...he doesn't know. He has so many fake layers merged with real layers merged with fake layers that he's just as lost as you. He knows who he used to be 20 years ago, but he's not that person any more. He can't be after a lifetime of being a Spy. The only time he opens up about himself around the base is in disguise as other people, pretending that his problems are theirs. If Spy is lonely, Scout suddenly wants to play baseball. If Spy is frustrated, Medic walks in and begins bitching about everything. If Spy is in a rare self-deprecating mood, a second Demoman quietly passes out drunk somewhere. If he's caught, he passes it off as more trolling attempts or disguise practice and denies everything.
- Beneath the balaclava, his hair is dark brown, short, and messy. He doesn't bother with it besides taking scissors to it every couple of weeks. Who cares? No one will ever see it. Unmasked, it sticks out all over the place like John Sheppard from SGA.