[ T & T ] Falling Into Deeper Silence
Here is Chapter 7! Written it for the second time! Reviews are very well appreciated, it'll help me to improve better! ^^
“Tsubasa, you really didn’t remember what happened last night?” Takki asked as he lovingly held on to their hold.
Tsubasa, on the other hand, was too caught up in the bliss moment rather than listening to his lover’s question, “Hmm, what about it?”
“You fainted! Don’t you remember it at all? You fainted- when we want to come to the best part! Tsuba, it was so near and you fainted!” he complained like a small kid, pouting at his boyfriend with his arms crossed, Takizawa Hideaki looked almost like a baby.
Raising his eyebrows, he gasped loudly, realizing what the latter meant by “best part”.
“Takki, you’re so… sick!! We just started and you wanted to do that? I mean, it’s okay to do that but we’re still new to all of this stuff, and it’s good if we wait a little while longer. But do that at that moment? Takki!!” he looked at the man beside him with total disgust, letting go of their hold almost immediately.
“Tsubasa, you could be so mean! What were you thinking going so far? I didn’t mean that! Sigh, now you’re upsetting me. I’m sorry if I made you think that way, didn’t mean it.” He pouted once again, looking down in shame.
By instinct, Tsubasa pulled on his lover’s sleeves gently, wanting him to look up at him, “Takki, I’m sorry.”
He looked up, never could he resist that tone Tsubasa just used, that one of a fragile and sad tone, he hated it whenever he heard that being used, seeing Tsubasa sad hurts him a whole deal too.
“You always win when it comes to persuading me in this matter. But Tsuba… I deserve at least a kiss, don’t I? Because you obviously spoilt the moment which would have happened if you hadn’t…”
Takki fell into a moment of silence as he felt something pressed on to his lips, he was shocked for a brief moment, and after realizing what actually is going on, he started to respond to the kiss when the other release it.
“Tsubasa!!!!”
--
“So care to tell me what is it that made you fall into darkness. You have to tell me, it’s really important. Tsubasa?” he turned and noticed that Tsubasa is fidgeting with his hands nervously, he seemed hesitant to speak what is on his mind.
“Hey, it’s okay. Just tell me whatever you can, you know I will listen. I’m not going to be mad at you. I just need you to make me understand. Okay?” he assured, looking at him full of love.
“I... I thought all of that that had happened had been nothing but a dream, that it was only imagination on my part! Hah, I was only dreaming! Because everything that you said that night - it feels too real to be true. I mean, I’ve always wanted you to feel the same way too, for so long I’ve kept it inside my heart, hiding in a dark corner, refusing to let you know but after last night, it was so over whelming. If it had only been a dream, that to the very least, I wanted you as a friend, that is enough for me. I don’t want to lose our friendship. I don’t want to lose you.” Tsubasa ended up whispering the very last sentence as he forced himself not to let out any tears.
“Tsubasa, listen to me. That night happened, and that is what matters most. You don’t have to worry about anything now. We’re together now. We are one.” He stressed, as he brought their linked hands high up for Tsubasa to see, and hopefully he will understand.
--
Kame looked up to the figure nearing the door, almost ready to slide the door knob open, “Hmm Pi, if I were you, I wouldn’t go in now. Wait till later.”
But Yamapi just stared at his friend dumbfounded, as if not catching what the latter was trying to imply, he grinned like an idiot, giving the couple who was sitting strange looks, “When did you guys arrive here? I didn’t even notice. Jin, is there something on my face that made you smile like that?” he questioned, touching his face all over, checking for any sign of dirt on his clean face but obviously had found none.
“I’m going to open the door regardless of what you told me!” Yamapi stubbornly said, as he creaked the door open, only to get the biggest shock in his life, he quickly closed the door tight, making the least possible noise he could.
“Didn’t Kazu-chan warn you, Yamapi?” he smirked, as he saw his best friend walking out of the room instantly, blushing a shade of pink in his cheeks.
“Shut up, Jin!”
Tugging on his boyfriend’s sleeves, “Jin, can we go home now? It looks like they wouldn’t wake up any time sooner. Looking them sleeping so peacefully, I want that too. Can we, Jin?” he asked, flashing out a pout.
That made Jin smile brightly, he stood up, holding Kame’s hands in his, “Okay, let’s go!”
Looking at the couple interacting as if he hadn’t exist at all made him feel uneasy and so out of place, clearing his throat, he complained, loud enough for both of them to hear, “And leaving poor Yamapi all alone! Some friends you both are! Akira, heart pain! It hurts!”
He sighed when the two lovebirds just laughed off his teasing, returning back the full attention to each other, reminding him of someone special.
I miss you, Kusa.
--
He woke up to see Tsubasa smiling sweetly at him, making him feel so blessed with this angel gifted to him, he could never ask for anything else, this was enough, Tsubasa is his, the one and only love he will truly treasure, never ever letting go of their firm hold.
“Did anyone tell you that you’re so beautiful, hmm, sweetheart? You’re prettier than the angels and fairies you’d ever find. So beautiful.” He whispered, brushing off his lover’s hair with grace, looking intently at the pair of lovely eyes.
Blushing, “Am I that beautiful?”
“You’re forever beautiful in my eyes, Tsuba. At least to me, you’re beautiful. I’m one hell of a lucky guy to have a beautiful angel as you are. You’re mine now, right?”
Snuggling closer to his beloved, Tsubasa murmured happily, “I’m yours. I’ve always been yours, Takki.”
--
Stretching his arms wide, he yawned sleepily, earning a soft giggling from Tsubasa himself, “What are you laughing at, princess? I wish we could stay like this forever. But you can’t possibly stay in this creepy place forever, can you? I’ll go take care of your discharge procedure. I’ll be back.”
But Tsubasa refused to let him go, tightening the embrace, he pleaded with those sad puppy eyes, “Don’t go. Ask somebody else to do that. Stay here with me, please?”
He smiled, realizing what a princess Tsubasa can be sometimes, but he had to refuse to his request this time, their relationship is a secret, he can’t possibly let the management find out, so it’s better to settle things himself, rather than asking the upper level management.
“I won’t take that long, I promise! I’ll be right back, alright?” Takki showed a peace sign, releasing himself from Tsubasa’s tight hold.
Loosening his hold to releasing it completely, he softly whispered, “What if you don’t come back?” Tsubasa anxiously gripped on his blankets, his insecurities is killing him right now, he couldn’t help but think that Takki could leave him, anytime, any moment, and he shudders at the thought of losing his lover.
Bending down to meet the other’s gaze, Takki placed his hands on the latter’s slim shoulder, forcing him to look at him in the eyes, “Tsubasa, do you trust me?”
His voice breaking, “I don’t know. I can’t think anymore. The thought of you leaving me scares me so much. You won’t leave me, right?”
“But do you trust me?” he asked again, his eyes not leaving the other.
Tsubasa slowly nodded, “I… I do.”
“Then believe me, I’m just going out for a while. I’ll come back to you. I’ll come back, Tsubasa. I’m not going to leave you. I’ll just be gone for a short moment. You do understand that, right?”
Biting his lip nervously, “Yes, I do. Sorry about that, I’m just being so emotional about it. I’ll wait, Takki.”
Flashing out one large smile, he nodded, “Yes! Wait for me, sweetheart! I’ll be back in a jiffy!”
He could only stare at the retreating figure, gone in a complete second, he couldn’t help but have these weird feelings in his heart.
Come Back.
--
Takki was on his way back to Tsubasa’s room when he felt some vibration from his pocket, holding the discharge papers on his left, he answered the phone hesitantly, only to get interrupted by the other line,
“Takizawa! Where are you now? There is a last minute photo shoot for you at 5.30pm! Come here soon!”
Making a face, he protested, “What? But I thought that we agreed to me having one week’s break! You already scheduled everything for me, right? How could this stuff happen?”
He heard a sigh from the other side, “I know. And I’m sorry about that but we don’t have any other choice. The magazine called saying that they need to finish the photo shoot by today since they don’t have any dates available after your holiday ends.”
“But it’s already 4.45pm here! I don’t think I can arrive on time!” Takki grumbled, cursing the magazine for having last minute dates silently.
“So you don’t have any choice but to rush here then. Come as soon as you can! I’ll do what I can in the meantime.” The phone line suddenly went dead, irritating him at the same time.
Glancing at his wristwatch, he took a deep breath as he rushed his way through the dark corridors, incidentally passing by Tsubasa’s room, to which he did not notice since he was pressed for time, he had no time to waste.
Takizawa Hideaki hates to be late, and hopefully he would arrive as promised. But one thing he had totally forgotten in the midst of the situation was the promise that he made with Tsubasa. He had broken it.
--
One
Two
Two hours had passed since he promised to return but was nowhere to be found, biting his lip, Tsubasa closed his eyes tightly, “You lied, Takki. You lied.”
He tried to stay positive about this but his fragile and insecure heart proved it otherwise, it wasn’t easy to think rationally when he is in this state, weak in controlling his own feelings, what more this is about his loved one.
Tsubasa waited for another hour before the truth finally sink to his mind, holding up the blankets to his body protectively, he realized that Takki isn’t going to come back to him.
“I’m such a fool to believe him. I’m an idiotic fool!” he whispered shakily, as he gripped on to the blankets tightly, tears threatening to fall any time, any moment.
--
Takki lunged to his bed almost immediately when he entered his bedroom, it was such a tiring day for him, having a photo shoots that last for 4 hours long! What more, his home was quite far away from the designated studio, he had to travel back home for about an hour!
“Ahhh, finally I’m home!” closing his eyes, he smiled, remembering what chaos it had been when he arrived late at the studio therefore the shooting was done way behind the expected time.
Positioning himself in a sitting position, he grinned widely, “Well that couldn’t be help, could it? I was at the hospital which was so far from the studio. How could anyone arrive there in a speed of time? It’d be impossible!” he chuckled silently, before freezing in total shock.
Widening his eyes, he exclaimed, “Hospital? Oh my god, Tsubasa! Damn, I’ve forgotten all about it!”
Grabbing his keys, he scrambled out of his bedroom quickly, putting on his shoes in an absent mind, he walked out of the house.
--
Tsubasa Imai? Oh, he left an hour ago, that’s all I know. I’m sorry.
“Tsubasa, where could he have gone to?” he thought, worried at his lover’s well being since he could neither be found at the hospital nor his home, Tsubasa seemed so vulnerable earlier and that worries him a lot.
I hope I’ll be able to find you, Tsubasa. I’m really sorry.
--
Feeling the cool breeze blowing at him, Tsubasa had never felt this content, everything was just so peaceful, and it was perfect, listening to the music the waves made occasionally.
“I wish that you’ll take away my pain. I want to forget my feelings for him because it hurts, loving him. Can you wash my pain away?” he stared at the stars above, tears freely falling, wetting both sides of his cheeks.
Tsubasa! Tsubasa!
Wiping away his tears furiously, he stood up to see a figure running towards him, he couldn’t see who was it at first since it was so dark, but as the figure came closer, he knew.
Takki.
Tsubasa just stared at the man in front of him, he spoke nothing, and he didn’t intend to. Both refuse to give in therefore leaving them into an awkward amount of silence.
Silence you could ever hear, two souls staring into each other, one is hurting, and the other filled with guilt.
Silence.
--
Author's Note: Okay, the next chapter will be the last! Last Chapter till it completes! So I'd like you readers to decide for me! Well whether you want Tsubasa to just walk away from Takki, leaving him all alone at the beach, and yes, that complicates the matter even more. ^^ Or do you want Tsubasa to listen to his explanations? I don't know, it's your choice! And if you have an idea how to end the fic, feel free to tell me, ya? Coz since it's the last chapter, I want you to decide the story line for me! So your reviews really are important to me. You know what to do? *winks*
And yeah, it's your decision too if you want this to end with a happy or sad ending. Though I know many will choose the first one! XDD Just let me know your views! One last chapter, sigh.. ^-^
--
“Tsubasa, you really didn’t remember what happened last night?” Takki asked as he lovingly held on to their hold.
Tsubasa, on the other hand, was too caught up in the bliss moment rather than listening to his lover’s question, “Hmm, what about it?”
“You fainted! Don’t you remember it at all? You fainted- when we want to come to the best part! Tsuba, it was so near and you fainted!” he complained like a small kid, pouting at his boyfriend with his arms crossed, Takizawa Hideaki looked almost like a baby.
Raising his eyebrows, he gasped loudly, realizing what the latter meant by “best part”.
“Takki, you’re so… sick!! We just started and you wanted to do that? I mean, it’s okay to do that but we’re still new to all of this stuff, and it’s good if we wait a little while longer. But do that at that moment? Takki!!” he looked at the man beside him with total disgust, letting go of their hold almost immediately.
“Tsubasa, you could be so mean! What were you thinking going so far? I didn’t mean that! Sigh, now you’re upsetting me. I’m sorry if I made you think that way, didn’t mean it.” He pouted once again, looking down in shame.
By instinct, Tsubasa pulled on his lover’s sleeves gently, wanting him to look up at him, “Takki, I’m sorry.”
He looked up, never could he resist that tone Tsubasa just used, that one of a fragile and sad tone, he hated it whenever he heard that being used, seeing Tsubasa sad hurts him a whole deal too.
“You always win when it comes to persuading me in this matter. But Tsuba… I deserve at least a kiss, don’t I? Because you obviously spoilt the moment which would have happened if you hadn’t…”
Takki fell into a moment of silence as he felt something pressed on to his lips, he was shocked for a brief moment, and after realizing what actually is going on, he started to respond to the kiss when the other release it.
“Tsubasa!!!!”
--
“So care to tell me what is it that made you fall into darkness. You have to tell me, it’s really important. Tsubasa?” he turned and noticed that Tsubasa is fidgeting with his hands nervously, he seemed hesitant to speak what is on his mind.
“Hey, it’s okay. Just tell me whatever you can, you know I will listen. I’m not going to be mad at you. I just need you to make me understand. Okay?” he assured, looking at him full of love.
“I... I thought all of that that had happened had been nothing but a dream, that it was only imagination on my part! Hah, I was only dreaming! Because everything that you said that night - it feels too real to be true. I mean, I’ve always wanted you to feel the same way too, for so long I’ve kept it inside my heart, hiding in a dark corner, refusing to let you know but after last night, it was so over whelming. If it had only been a dream, that to the very least, I wanted you as a friend, that is enough for me. I don’t want to lose our friendship. I don’t want to lose you.” Tsubasa ended up whispering the very last sentence as he forced himself not to let out any tears.
“Tsubasa, listen to me. That night happened, and that is what matters most. You don’t have to worry about anything now. We’re together now. We are one.” He stressed, as he brought their linked hands high up for Tsubasa to see, and hopefully he will understand.
--
Kame looked up to the figure nearing the door, almost ready to slide the door knob open, “Hmm Pi, if I were you, I wouldn’t go in now. Wait till later.”
But Yamapi just stared at his friend dumbfounded, as if not catching what the latter was trying to imply, he grinned like an idiot, giving the couple who was sitting strange looks, “When did you guys arrive here? I didn’t even notice. Jin, is there something on my face that made you smile like that?” he questioned, touching his face all over, checking for any sign of dirt on his clean face but obviously had found none.
“I’m going to open the door regardless of what you told me!” Yamapi stubbornly said, as he creaked the door open, only to get the biggest shock in his life, he quickly closed the door tight, making the least possible noise he could.
“Didn’t Kazu-chan warn you, Yamapi?” he smirked, as he saw his best friend walking out of the room instantly, blushing a shade of pink in his cheeks.
“Shut up, Jin!”
Tugging on his boyfriend’s sleeves, “Jin, can we go home now? It looks like they wouldn’t wake up any time sooner. Looking them sleeping so peacefully, I want that too. Can we, Jin?” he asked, flashing out a pout.
That made Jin smile brightly, he stood up, holding Kame’s hands in his, “Okay, let’s go!”
Looking at the couple interacting as if he hadn’t exist at all made him feel uneasy and so out of place, clearing his throat, he complained, loud enough for both of them to hear, “And leaving poor Yamapi all alone! Some friends you both are! Akira, heart pain! It hurts!”
He sighed when the two lovebirds just laughed off his teasing, returning back the full attention to each other, reminding him of someone special.
I miss you, Kusa.
--
He woke up to see Tsubasa smiling sweetly at him, making him feel so blessed with this angel gifted to him, he could never ask for anything else, this was enough, Tsubasa is his, the one and only love he will truly treasure, never ever letting go of their firm hold.
“Did anyone tell you that you’re so beautiful, hmm, sweetheart? You’re prettier than the angels and fairies you’d ever find. So beautiful.” He whispered, brushing off his lover’s hair with grace, looking intently at the pair of lovely eyes.
Blushing, “Am I that beautiful?”
“You’re forever beautiful in my eyes, Tsuba. At least to me, you’re beautiful. I’m one hell of a lucky guy to have a beautiful angel as you are. You’re mine now, right?”
Snuggling closer to his beloved, Tsubasa murmured happily, “I’m yours. I’ve always been yours, Takki.”
--
Stretching his arms wide, he yawned sleepily, earning a soft giggling from Tsubasa himself, “What are you laughing at, princess? I wish we could stay like this forever. But you can’t possibly stay in this creepy place forever, can you? I’ll go take care of your discharge procedure. I’ll be back.”
But Tsubasa refused to let him go, tightening the embrace, he pleaded with those sad puppy eyes, “Don’t go. Ask somebody else to do that. Stay here with me, please?”
He smiled, realizing what a princess Tsubasa can be sometimes, but he had to refuse to his request this time, their relationship is a secret, he can’t possibly let the management find out, so it’s better to settle things himself, rather than asking the upper level management.
“I won’t take that long, I promise! I’ll be right back, alright?” Takki showed a peace sign, releasing himself from Tsubasa’s tight hold.
Loosening his hold to releasing it completely, he softly whispered, “What if you don’t come back?” Tsubasa anxiously gripped on his blankets, his insecurities is killing him right now, he couldn’t help but think that Takki could leave him, anytime, any moment, and he shudders at the thought of losing his lover.
Bending down to meet the other’s gaze, Takki placed his hands on the latter’s slim shoulder, forcing him to look at him in the eyes, “Tsubasa, do you trust me?”
His voice breaking, “I don’t know. I can’t think anymore. The thought of you leaving me scares me so much. You won’t leave me, right?”
“But do you trust me?” he asked again, his eyes not leaving the other.
Tsubasa slowly nodded, “I… I do.”
“Then believe me, I’m just going out for a while. I’ll come back to you. I’ll come back, Tsubasa. I’m not going to leave you. I’ll just be gone for a short moment. You do understand that, right?”
Biting his lip nervously, “Yes, I do. Sorry about that, I’m just being so emotional about it. I’ll wait, Takki.”
Flashing out one large smile, he nodded, “Yes! Wait for me, sweetheart! I’ll be back in a jiffy!”
He could only stare at the retreating figure, gone in a complete second, he couldn’t help but have these weird feelings in his heart.
Come Back.
--
Takki was on his way back to Tsubasa’s room when he felt some vibration from his pocket, holding the discharge papers on his left, he answered the phone hesitantly, only to get interrupted by the other line,
“Takizawa! Where are you now? There is a last minute photo shoot for you at 5.30pm! Come here soon!”
Making a face, he protested, “What? But I thought that we agreed to me having one week’s break! You already scheduled everything for me, right? How could this stuff happen?”
He heard a sigh from the other side, “I know. And I’m sorry about that but we don’t have any other choice. The magazine called saying that they need to finish the photo shoot by today since they don’t have any dates available after your holiday ends.”
“But it’s already 4.45pm here! I don’t think I can arrive on time!” Takki grumbled, cursing the magazine for having last minute dates silently.
“So you don’t have any choice but to rush here then. Come as soon as you can! I’ll do what I can in the meantime.” The phone line suddenly went dead, irritating him at the same time.
Glancing at his wristwatch, he took a deep breath as he rushed his way through the dark corridors, incidentally passing by Tsubasa’s room, to which he did not notice since he was pressed for time, he had no time to waste.
Takizawa Hideaki hates to be late, and hopefully he would arrive as promised. But one thing he had totally forgotten in the midst of the situation was the promise that he made with Tsubasa. He had broken it.
--
One
Two
Two hours had passed since he promised to return but was nowhere to be found, biting his lip, Tsubasa closed his eyes tightly, “You lied, Takki. You lied.”
He tried to stay positive about this but his fragile and insecure heart proved it otherwise, it wasn’t easy to think rationally when he is in this state, weak in controlling his own feelings, what more this is about his loved one.
Tsubasa waited for another hour before the truth finally sink to his mind, holding up the blankets to his body protectively, he realized that Takki isn’t going to come back to him.
“I’m such a fool to believe him. I’m an idiotic fool!” he whispered shakily, as he gripped on to the blankets tightly, tears threatening to fall any time, any moment.
--
Takki lunged to his bed almost immediately when he entered his bedroom, it was such a tiring day for him, having a photo shoots that last for 4 hours long! What more, his home was quite far away from the designated studio, he had to travel back home for about an hour!
“Ahhh, finally I’m home!” closing his eyes, he smiled, remembering what chaos it had been when he arrived late at the studio therefore the shooting was done way behind the expected time.
Positioning himself in a sitting position, he grinned widely, “Well that couldn’t be help, could it? I was at the hospital which was so far from the studio. How could anyone arrive there in a speed of time? It’d be impossible!” he chuckled silently, before freezing in total shock.
Widening his eyes, he exclaimed, “Hospital? Oh my god, Tsubasa! Damn, I’ve forgotten all about it!”
Grabbing his keys, he scrambled out of his bedroom quickly, putting on his shoes in an absent mind, he walked out of the house.
--
Tsubasa Imai? Oh, he left an hour ago, that’s all I know. I’m sorry.
“Tsubasa, where could he have gone to?” he thought, worried at his lover’s well being since he could neither be found at the hospital nor his home, Tsubasa seemed so vulnerable earlier and that worries him a lot.
I hope I’ll be able to find you, Tsubasa. I’m really sorry.
--
Feeling the cool breeze blowing at him, Tsubasa had never felt this content, everything was just so peaceful, and it was perfect, listening to the music the waves made occasionally.
“I wish that you’ll take away my pain. I want to forget my feelings for him because it hurts, loving him. Can you wash my pain away?” he stared at the stars above, tears freely falling, wetting both sides of his cheeks.
Tsubasa! Tsubasa!
Wiping away his tears furiously, he stood up to see a figure running towards him, he couldn’t see who was it at first since it was so dark, but as the figure came closer, he knew.
Takki.
Tsubasa just stared at the man in front of him, he spoke nothing, and he didn’t intend to. Both refuse to give in therefore leaving them into an awkward amount of silence.
Silence you could ever hear, two souls staring into each other, one is hurting, and the other filled with guilt.
Silence.
--
Author's Note: Okay, the next chapter will be the last! Last Chapter till it completes! So I'd like you readers to decide for me! Well whether you want Tsubasa to just walk away from Takki, leaving him all alone at the beach, and yes, that complicates the matter even more. ^^ Or do you want Tsubasa to listen to his explanations? I don't know, it's your choice! And if you have an idea how to end the fic, feel free to tell me, ya? Coz since it's the last chapter, I want you to decide the story line for me! So your reviews really are important to me. You know what to do? *winks*
And yeah, it's your decision too if you want this to end with a happy or sad ending. Though I know many will choose the first one! XDD Just let me know your views! One last chapter, sigh.. ^-^
--