Memories of our Past - Chapter 4
Title: Memories of our Past
Pairing: Takki/Tsubasa, Akame
Genre: Angst
Summary: Tsubasa was standing on the stage alone as he sang the song for that one special person that won’t ever be by his side again, today and not forever. I’ve lost him for good, Tsubasa thought sadly as he reminisces the sweet yet bitter memories of their past. Everything is just a memory now.
Disclaimer: Characters don’t belong to me but the plot is.
A\N: Not beta-ed by anyone so close an eye to the mistakes, okay? ^.~
*`*`*`*
‘In Japan’
Two figures were waiting outside the operating room, sitting side by side, with hands firmly intact as they patiently waits in anxiety, hoping that there will be good news to be overjoyed with later.
For sure they do not want to lose a precious sempai, one that had taught them to smile, cherish life as it is, a young man with a passion to achieve his goals and dreams, one that is experiencing so much pain yet welcomes his juniors with a sincere smile, and a heart whelming greeting.
“I don’t want to lose him, Jin. I can’t bear to.” Kame sniffed, brushing away his tears as he stared onto the closed door of the operating room, it scares him so much that this would be the last, the last to Tsubasa’s smile, laughter and brotherly kinship that they shared together.
It could not be the end, there is still a lot more to experience with life, for Tsubasa-kun. So much more that he have not yet seen, so how such a fateful thing could happens to him? Why couldn’t it be someone else?
Why is it Tsubasa-kun?
Jin bit his lip sadly as he turned to look at his lover, he himself could not suppress his feelings. So the only thing he could do was to pull Kame into an embrace, with tears wetting on each other’s shirt.
So together they wait.
*`*`*`*
3 am
Five hours had passed. The operation is still going on, by this time many Johnnys have gathered in this special unit, all were camping the nights out in a special room reserved for them. Apparently Johnny himself understands their concern for their fellow Jyanni member thus agreed to let them wait till the operation is over, hopefully in the morning there will be good news waiting for all of them.
Seniors, even his juniors who hold a great respect for Tsubasa came, all could not sleep a wink, as they pray, and wish that nothing bad would happen to him, that the operation would be successful. They kept on praying, wishing for their prayers to be heard and granted.
“Tsubasa is like a younger brother to me. I don’t want to lose a special brother. Please let this operation be a successful one. Please don’t take Tsubasa from us.” Domoto Tsuyoshi prayed in silence as he stared into the thin air, he could not recover from the shock of this accident to cry tears, and somehow he could not accept that he might be losing someone special like Tsubasa.
Reality hurts, it’s better to feel numb and pretend nothing had happened, that Tsuyushi-kun thought so, thinking of nothing but positive words to comfort himself.
However, for someone thousands feet up in the sky, even those few hours felt torturous to him, fidgeting every moment in his seat, wishing that time could pass by quickly, and have him land in Japan right away. Yet there are still 12 more hours to go, he sadly realized.
Please let it be good news, Takki prayed as well, brushing off a single tear. He is willing to trade anything for Tsubasa’s life, anything at all.
So please let him be safe, dear God.
*`*`*`*
Kame slumped onto the chair in dejected as he heard those words from the doctor, “The operation is a success. Tsubasa-kun is in a critical stage currently and there might be a possibility that he might not pass through a day. Therefore I want you to be prepared if something unexpected ever happens.”
Noticing the look on the two juniors, the doctor softly whispered, “I’m sorry but we did our best. Now it’s all up to your prayers to keep Tsubasa-kun alive, his determination is strong as I can see.” With having said his piece, he bowed and left the couple alone.
“Why … Why does Tsubasa-kun has to experience such thing? All he ever did was to stay strong when his love shattered, he did all he could to stay happy every single day. This isn’t fair. It’s not fair, Jin.” He sobbed, looking down on the ground.
“Life isn’t fair, Kame. All we could do is to pray for Tsubasa-kun’s safety.” He whispered, he too could not handle the amount of emotion he felt, he wanted so much to cry and break down but he couldn’t, he needs to be there for his beloved therefore he pulled the smaller frame into him, and cried as they shared the pain together in each other’s comfort.
Tsubasa-kun, please don’t leave us. Don’t -
*`*`*`*
A guy in his mid twenties were in line of custom checking, a luggage bag on hand, his cap and sunglasses hid his real identity, as he waited patiently for the long queue to quickly end, for one single minute seems like a long time for him, it’s like waiting for a lifetime.
Every single second counts when it comes to Tsubasa.
Coincidentally the television on the checking arena was switched on thus he looked up to see the news on air, killing his time while waiting for this non-ending queue, what he did not expect was that the current news would be on Imai Tsubasa, his very own Tsubasa.
`Insert footage of Tsubasa’s image, a very recent cool photo `
“Imai Tsubasa has undergone an operation several hours ago due to an accident that occurred slightly after 9 last night, straight after he got off from work. Tsubasa-kun however is in a critical stage, and had been placed into an ICU. The doctor in charge spoke of a possibility of him not passing through the first day but in the end it all depends on his will to survive this ordeal.”
*video footage of the accident scene, taken today*
*videos of Tsubasa’s solo activities before the accident, his smile and laughter*
His once beautiful smile and laughter might be gone in a split second, he could not let that happen, he could not - he must NOT!! “Shut up! Switch the damn TV off!!” he let that out of his mouth, not fearing what the outcome would be as he acts based on his feelings right now, he just could not take it any longer, it’s so difficult to be strong all by himself.
It might have been a wrong action as the crowd turns to the direction of his voice, a few girls sadly whispering his name, “Takizawa-kun.” The fans, especially those who love the duo ‘Tackey & Tsubasa’ were all looking at him, disappointment clearly expressed in their eyes.
Heaving out a soft sigh, he looked down on the floor, realizing that it was indeed a bad move to act based on first judgment. Those video clippings of Tsubasa hurts him a whole lot, knowing that his friend’s life is in a verge of death. Maybe it was a wrong move to suddenly return to his home because he knew for sure, that he isn’t welcome in this place when he made that one decision that destroyed thousands of hearts.
Nothing is going to change. He is just coming here to check on Tsubasa, hoping that he will be okay. He is just Takizawa Hideaki, no longer ‘Tackey’ of Tackey & Tsubasa anymore, hell he no longer is a celebrity that he once was. He is not going to return to the entertainment industry.
He had thought wrong, not knowing what was going to come for him, something that he would never have thought to do in this situation.
“Takizawa-kun?” he looked up to see a security personnel standing before him, before nodding his head in silence, “Let us assist you to safety. There is someone waiting for you in the arrival arena.”
Takki gave a slight surprise look but nodded his head in agreement as he followed the man’s footsteps, passing the other passengers, and into the VIP section for passport checking, that by means of ignoring the looks of the audiences.
Murmuring a soft thank you, he bowed to the man that helped, walking straight to the exit, wondering to himself who would be the kind soul to pick him up.
Did Yuki tell anyone of my return?
*`*`*`*
Takki was scanning the crowd when he felt a soft pat on his shoulder, turned and saw his favourite junior of all times, “Yamapi! So Yuki must have told you about my sudden return.” He whispered in realization.
His ex-junior however had a glum expression on his face, Takki could see he was trying to put up a smile but failed, “Doesn’t mean that I’ve forgiven you. I’m doing this for Tsubasa-kun. Let’s go.” Yamapi spoke nonchalantly as he headed out to the main exit and walked to the car park.
He looked at the figure disappearing from his sight, giving out a small sad laugh, as he continued his footsteps to his destination.
I deserve the cold attitude from the people I love after all it was me who abandoned them in the first place.
For once, he rather receive Tsubasa’s cold glare than looking at the emotionless and unmoving him. Slap me, hit me, and beat me all you want, Tsubasa, than lying in the hospital bed unconscious.
*`*`*`*
Adjusting his mask, Takki looked down to the hospital uniform he had slipped on due to safety precautions. Taking a deep breath, his hand flew to the square white object on the wall, slowly pressing the button, the door automatically slides open revealing a lifeless Tsubasa with IV tubes around his body, the only thing that had kept him breathing is the machine next to him.
“Tsubasa!” he is by his side in no time, holding the cold hand in his, placing it naturally to his cheeks, his tears wetting the mask he is wearing as he softly whispered, “You have to be strong and keep on living, Tsubasa. Don’t give up on your life. I promise I’ll stay here as long as you need me. I won’t leave if you don’t want me to. Just please stay alive. Don’t leave us, Tsuba.” He kissed the hand with so much love in his eyes, not noticing a tear falling off from Tsubasa’s closed eyes as he engulfed his once lover into a gentle hug.
That action is not left unnoticed, Kame stood outside the transparent window, watching the scene with an ease of mind, as a small smile crept up to his face. At least Tsubasa-kun has the person he loves the most by his side when he needs it, he will then have a reason to hold on and fight for his life.
The rest does not matter as long as he gets over this obstacle of his. Tsubasa-kun’s life is much more important right now.
I’ll talk to Jin.
With that, Kame walked out of the main door, leaving the two alone.
*`*`*`*
Eyes widening in rage as he points to any closest possible door, “So what Yamapi said is true then, Takizawa-kun is actually here in Japan, right now visiting our Tsubasa-kun?” seeing Kame nodding his head, “That bastard. How dare he step his feet here.” He began to walk the remaining steps to the ICU room only to be stopped by Kame.
“Takizawa-kun is the one person Tsubasa-kun would want by his side in this moment. About what he did, we will confront him some other time. Just leave them alone for now.” Kame simply said, brushing his lover’s arms gently, hoping for his understanding.
Jin pouts, “But he …”
“If I were to be in Tsubasa-kun’s place, it doesn’t matter how much pain you’ve caused me, but the thought of you by my side, taking care of me, is what matters most because you are the reason for me to fight for my life.” Kame states, causing Jin to imagine that one scene, his lover unconscious on the white hospital bed, with him taking care of his precious so dearly like a gem.
Pushing the imagination away, he immediately pulled his lover into his arms, tears cluttering in his eyes, he whispered, “I understand, Kazuya. I now know how Takizawa-kun feels. I promise I’ll never hurt you.” Tightening his hold, Jin treasures this moment, reminding himself to not ever cause a pain to his beloved lover.
“Baka! That was only an example. Don’t take it so seriously.” Kame said in a joking manner but didn’t refuse the hug, as he leaned onto Jin almost instantly.
*`*`*`*
Two days later
With a bouquet of roses on hand, Takki hung his head low, he ignored the gazes of the people around him, even the looks of his ex-colleagues too as he walk towards the room Tsubasa is, immediately pressing the button and went inside the room.
Takizawa-kun!
He thought he had heard someone calling him, that voice sound so familiar to his ears and with closed eyes, he recognized that voice as none other than … Kamenashi. Turning to face the closed door, he notices no one else in this enclosed room.
It must have just been my imagination.
Heaving out a soft sigh, Takki was about to walk towards the other door, the second door leading to where the bed is, when he noticed something he shouldn’t have, his eyes widened in total shock, the roses dropped to the floor instantly as he rushes out of the main door, trying to find someone who could answer to his query.
The bed is empty. It couldn’t be … Tsubasa couldn’t have …
“Takizawa-kun!” His once junior grabbed his arm as soon as he saw Takki running out of the ICU and before he could speak another word, his sempai hold on to his shoulders, shaking it vigorously, causing the younger one to shiver with fear as he heard the older one shouted, “Tsubasa! Tsubasa isn’t dead, right? Kamenashi, please tell me that Tsubasa is still alive, that he is not dead! He isn’t, right? Tell me!”
“Takizawa-kun, you’re scaring my Kazuya!” another voice interrupted, releasing the scared Kame from his hold, protectively putting his arms onto his lover’s shoulders, with Kame sliding his around his waist almost naturally.
Takki leaned against the wall, dreading himself for the moment to come, knowing that the two would only deliver bad news, fresh tears collected in his eyes.
Jin, who noticed this action, pats his shoulder with an assuring smile, still not letting go his lover, thus he whispered, “Don’t worry, Tsubasa-kun is alright. He had just been transferred to another room.” Seeing the panic look on the older one’s face, he interrupted almost immediately, “Takizawa-kun, calm down for a moment and we shall fill you in! It’s so hard explaining when you’re all … fidgety. Am I right, sweetheart?” Jin gazes lovingly at his blushing boyfriend.
“Jin, this is not the time to act all lovingly.” He playfully pushes his lover away, releasing himself from the embrace, and in no time turning serious to face his sempai, “Sorry about that. Tsubasa-kun is no longer in a critical state thus the need to transfer into a normal room, however he is in comatose state though the good thing is, he could now breathe on his own. Up till now, to know that Tsubasa-kun survived the first critical day was such a miracle. You’re his miracle, Takizawa-kun.”
Kame smiled as tears cluttered in his eyes, “That is why … please continue to be his miracle. Please always stay by his side and never leave him. Can you promise us that?” he once again felt his lover’s arms on him, holding him dearly.
Looking at the two young men in front of him, Takki finally whispered, “I can’t foresee the future but right now, I’m not going to leave Tsubasa’s side. I can’t promise anything but I assure you that I have no intention of going back to America this moment. Let nature takes its own course, alright?”
Both nodded, leading the way to Tsubasa’s new room, with their respected sempai, Takki following their footsteps in comforted silence.
*`*`*`*
Entering the new room, he scans and adapt to the new surrounding around him as he immediately made himself comfortable sitting on the empty seat next to the bed, his eyes gazes to the peacefully unconscious Tsubasa.
“Good morning, Tsubasa.” His attention turned to the vase of flowers next to him as he remembered something, slightly complaining, “Ah, the red roses that I bought specially for you - To think I dropped it in a haste moment when I noticed you’re not in the ICU anymore. You almost gave me a heart attack. Do you know that?” Takki chuckled, as he reached for Tsubasa’s hand.
“So how are you doing today?” He smiles brightly, “I’m glad you’ve overcome the greatest obstacle in your life. You’re no longer in danger. I was filled with relief when the great Akame told me about it. So right now, you have to keep on fighting, and wake up from the darkness trapping you from the real world. I have faith in you, Tsubasa.”
Takki sees a tear on his once partner and lover, thus with no hesitation he brushed it away, tightening his hold, “You’re crying? Are you worried that I’ll leave once you’ve overcome that critical stage?” He voiced out.
He sits near the edge of the bed, looking at Tsubasa with so much love he thought had died, “I may no longer be able to work with you anymore, Tsubasa, but one thing I’ve learnt - I truly regret the decision I made then, I wanted so much a normal life. To have a girlfriend, get married, and have kids but I realized that no matter how hard I try to fit in my new life, I won’t ever feel happy if that doesn’t include you. You don’t have to trust me, Tsuba.” He gently caresses his former love’s cheeks, leaning onto him, as he closed his eyes, murmuring sleepily, “I still love you. Not going to leave you. So don’t worry.”
With that, Takki fell into a deep sleep slumber, lying comfortably beside Tsubasa as the small space doesn’t seem to bother him at all.
As long as he is close to the one he loves.
*`*`*`*
Next chapter:
“Takizawa, I’m giving you another chance to return back to us, to JE. Whether you agree or not, it’s all your choice. So please think about it thoroughly.”
He remembered those last words, deep in thoughts as he walked slowly towards the room Tsubasa occupied, closing the door after him, he paused to think for a moment.
This time, I will make a wise decision.
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Author's Note: I seriously don't like this chapter, but I just can't seem to find anything to edit. And by the short snippet, I'm sure most of you will predict what would happen next. Whether Takki takes the chance he had depends on you readers, so what do you think? Yes or no? Though I'm sure most of you would want him to return to JE. ^-^ Well just say your views and I'll try to write about it.