[Takki & Tsubasa] Falling Into Deeper Silence

Jul 10, 2006 20:13

Chapter 3 ~




Chapter 3 - A Pretence

---

Taking a deep breathe, Tsubasa braved himself to enter the studio. He really hates to come face to face with that someone. Not before his heart has yet to recover, in fact it’s far from healing. And it still hurts.

But I don’t have any choice. This is work. From now on, Tackey & Tsubasa is nothing but pretence for the fans.

“Good morning! Please give me your guidance!” he strode in the studio with a small cheery smile on his face, looking as natural he could possibly be.

I can do this.

Tsubasa scanned the studio as he followed the lead of the make-up artist to touch up his face. But noticed something was missing.

“Hmm, he’s not here yet.”

His back was facing the doorway when he heard a very familiar voice ringing through his ears. Tilting his head slightly, he caught a glimpse of Takki.

Tsubasa would usually greet Takki when he arrived at any scheduled photo shoots during the times they were still on good terms, never failing to flash him a genuine smile the moment he walked in.

But this time is different, Tsubasa could no longer behave like himself around him. They are now strangers.

Not bothering to greet him, Tsubasa gave the make-up artist his full attention, pretending not to notice him. Staring into nothing, he gave out a look he seldom give.

Hatred.

Tsubasa had never felt so much hatred at this moment of time. He didn’t know when it starts but sudden hatred fills his heart whenever he thinks of Takki.

And he did not like that feeling. But Tsubasa himself is helpless in the evolution of his feelings. I hate you, Takki, for hurting my heart.

“Okay, I’m done.”

Tsubasa nod in gratitude as he walked up to the located scene for the photo shoot today, passing by Takki with that movement.

Tsubasa.

His heart was turning numb and it might eventually turn as cold as ice. But he didn’t care, his heart is empty.

“Tsubasa-san, are you ready?” someone suddenly asked him, he nod his head in reply, moving closer to the designated set.

“Yes, Takizawa-san, can you move closer to Tsubasa-san?” the photographer requested out of a sudden

Takki didn’t have any choice but to do as requested, moving closer to Tsubasa as he put his arms on his shoulders, looking straight to the camera in front of him.

Everything is an act. Am I right, Takki? It’s all pretending on your part. I can pretend too. I can pretend to be strong, that I’m not hurt for all your actions. If you can, I can too.

So Tsubasa made the best pose, smiling brightly as possible, with Takki’s arms still on his shoulders.

How ironic life is.

After a few shots taken that seems like hours to Tsubasa finally came to an end. Heaving out a sigh of relieve, he bowed slightly to the crews, saying his thanks.

But before walking out of the scene, Tsubasa turned to Takki, doing the same as what he did with the crews, but adding a smile to it.

“Thanks for your hard work!” he said which brought a shock to Takki as he never would have expected Tsubasa to actually speak something to him. We’ve not talk for months now.

He was too shock that he could only reply those words by bowing his head slightly. “Thanks for your hard work.” he murmured only after Tsubasa was a distance away from him.

Tsubasa, I’m sorry.

Because he noticed the smile that Tsubasa flashed wasn’t a real one, it’s one out of forced. Takki knew him too well to distinguish which was a genuine and forced smile of his. I would know.

Maybe Yamapi is right after all. That you’re in fact hurting but just kept it inside. Still I can’t tell you yet.

---

Tsubasa suddenly stopped when he reached the doorway of the building, staring into space.

I did it, didn’t I? I’m such a good actor. So good that I didn’t know that was me.

Tears start to cloud his eyes, blurring his vision as a result. Though how hard he tried to act normal, it is still going to hurt. The pain in his heart would forever be there.

I am not that weak!

With that, Tsubasa covered his nearly red eyes with his dark sunglasses, walking out of the building with no hesitation.

I can be strong like you too. I can do without you.

---

Tsubasa took a glance at his wrist watch yet once again. He didn’t know why but he kept doing that several times now. For some reason he felt so nervous even though this was not the first time.

“I’m just too early.” Muttering softly, taking a sip out of his cup of coffee while looking out of the window, admiring the beauty outside.

“Tsubasa-kun.” A voice greeted bringing him back to the real world, he turned to face the direction of the voice.

“Kame, sorry didn’t notice you coming in.” Tsubasa apologized, motioning for him to take a seat.

“You seem to be in a deep thought, Tsubasa-kun. Do you, by any chance, want to share it?”

“Eh, what?” he pretended to be calm, not to disgrace himself in front of his junior and most importantly to refrain himself from telling about his problem with Takizawa.

“No, it’s okay if you don’t want to tell me. I understand.” Kame gave a reassuring smile as he turned to face the waiter, placing his order.

He didn’t know why but he felt guilty hiding something important from the younger man seating across him. Not that he want to hurt anyone’s feelings, he just doesn’t want anyone to be worried for him. He wanted to try handling them himself.

“Thank You.” Kame said as the waiter placed his drink on the table, noticing that Tsubasa is still in utter silence since just now.

“Ne, Tsubasa-kun, even if you don’t want to tell me the reason why your friendship with Takizawa-kun seems so tense right now, that’s okay. But I knew you two had some problems, I could see right through it.” Kame emphasized hoping that his senior could at least talk something about his troubles.

Tsubasa could only look at Kame as if he didn’t have a clue on the topic that was brought up. He tried to hide in his shell yet once again, Kame noticed, for there is sadness in those beautiful eyes.

“How can someone as wonderful as Tsubasa-kun be sad, worst thing is he is probably hurting right now. And I definitely have no idea what is the main problem that caused all the hurting. I am so useless. I can’t even help him.” He thought, facing the outside scenery from the transparent window, he couldn’t find any words to say anymore, he didn’t know what else to do to make Tsubasa confide in him.

It’s such a useless feeling, I can’t even do something to help him. It’s obvious that they’re fighting.

---

“Kame! Tsubasa-kun! What a coincidence that we’re meeting in such a place.” A voice interrupted the sudden silence in the café, Kame recognized that voice almost instantly.

“Yamapi! What are you doing here?” Kame questioned, his face full of surprise as he didn’t expect him to be here at this time too, making sentences with his face, hoping that Yamapi wouldn’t ruin his meeting with Tsubasa-kun.

“Mind if I join?” he asked in a pleading tone and flashing out the sweetest smile ever to his senior.

“Go ahead.” Tsubasa replied in that cool voice of him, motioning for him to sit.

“Yes, thank you! Takizawa-kun, what are you doing standing so far away?” he spoke loud enough for Tsubasa to hear when he realized that Takki is standing a distance away.

“Takizawa-kun?” Kame slipped out, his eyes widening with shock at the mention of that name but noticed the look on Tsubasa’s face, that of anger and hatred in his eyes.

“Since when did they’ve fallen apart? I just hope Yamapi knows what he is doing.” he wished silently, praying in his heart that his best friend does not do anything foolish that could worsen their senpai's already broken friendship.

“Ah, sorry. Takizawa-kun just took his time to come to this table. He just likes to be pampered like a king.” Yamapi apologized when he finally managed to drag Takki to the table where the two were.

“What are you rambling about? Don’t talk nonsense.” Feeling rather irritated at having to counter Tsubasa, he hit Yamapi softly on the head, playing a senior to him.

But before Takki could say anything else, Yamapi immediately took the seat besides Kame, leaving him with no choice but to sit next to Tsubasa.

It’s working. Just hope that my plan would work out in the end.

Being able to be so near Takki really lighten his spirit but Tsubasa could only feel sadness in his heart, he had never felt this empty and lonely deep inside.

“I had a friend. But now I have to depend on myself. I can no longer depend on his support anymore.” Tsubasa thought, his glance still facing Kame, afraid to look at his former best friend in the eye.

“Ah, sorry for interrupting. But Yamapi insisted on sitting at this table.” He muttered out, glaring at Yamapi deadly as he said those sentences.

“What, Takizawa-kun! I’m sure Tsubasa-kun doesn’t mind that we’re joining. Right,Tsubasa-kun?”Yamapi spoke in an Akira tone, making sweet faces to his senpai.

Rolling his eyes to which Tsubasa replied, “Why would I mind? I never minded on such childish things.”

I mind when you don’t treat me like your best friend anymore. I mind when Tsubasa Imai have now become a stranger to you. I mind when you no longer care for me like you used to. Of course I totally mind!!

Takki could have felt there was some sarcasm in the tone he spoke and could not help but blame himself for it. After all, it was him who have been avoiding Tsubasa and made him feel that he didn’t care.

You don’t know how I’m hurting inside, Tsubasa. You have no idea how it feels being a distance away from you. It really hurts.

Tsubasa once again looked out the window, not wanting to let anyone see the tears forming in his eyes. He can’t let Takki see his tears. He doesn’t want any sympathy from anyone especially him.

With a quick motion, Tsubasa wiped away the tear without looking suspicious. Kame who was sitting just across him saw this action but kept his silence, hoping that the plan Yamapi had in mind would be successful. That they would talk things out and reunite as one.

“Ah, how can I forget? I’m such an idiot!!” Yamapi suddenly said, bringing the others in a shock, as he hit his head softly, pretending to feel pissed off over something.

“What? Yamapi.” Takki asked in a rather irritated tone of his when he realized that Yamapi was definitely up to something.

“I promised Jin that I’ll go shopping with him today! Sorry, but I must make a move now. Hope you don’t mind but I’m taking Kame along. Jin already misses him so much!” Yamapi said quickly, hoping that it wasn’t too obvious that he was indeed planning on something.

“What? Yamapi, stop!!” Kame complained as he was being dragged by Yamapi by the shoulders, walking out of the café.

Tsubasa could only stare at his juniors as they made their way out of the café. In this situation alone with Takki, he really didn’t know what to do or say. Maybe no words are needed.

“Sorry but I think I’ll make a move as well. See you.” Takki wore his jacket and picked his bag almost immediately, can’t wait to be out of this weird situation with Tsubasa.

“I don’t bother if you don’t care.” Tsubasa said angrily as he walked out of the café in anger, leaving a dumbfounded Takki in guilt.

“Tsubasa, sorry.”

---

Author's Note: An Update! This chapter actually consist of two chapters but I decided to merge them into one whole chapter! Errrr, you get what I mean? And about me writing the 'senior' thing, it kinda felt weird. Yeah, senpai in english meant senior. But it sounds really weird writing Tsubasa or Takki as 'senior'.. Like a 'senior' citizen. Gahh!! That's only an example! So I'll just use the word 'senpai' next time. It fits better. Right?

This chapter is the longest I've ever posted! Almost to 2000 words!! Wahhh, that's a lot! Aniwaez, I hope you liked this chapter as well. And please leave your comments. Ja Ne! ^____^

t&t

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