[Takki & Tsubasa] Falling Into Deeper Silence
Finally completed this chapter! Enjoy alrightz! ^^
Chapter 6
-----
Tears shed, all the hurt that he had felt was gone in an instant, anything does not matter anymore, the person he loved is with him, holding him, trusting him with care that no one else would do, this feels like a dream, having him the way he had always wanted.
“Tsubasa? Tsubasa, are you alright? Tsubasa!” he heard someone calling his name, the voice seemed so distant away but somehow it feels so close, his vision blurred for a moment before finally returning back to normal, realizing that he was still in the same position on his bed.
“That can’t be, all of that was not real? It was just my illusion?” Tsubasa screamed out loud in his head, hoping that it was not true, that he hadn’t dreamt the confession but when he noticed how the other looked at him worriedly, his heart had crushed into a million pieces, slumped his body dejectedly.
“Tsubasa? What is it? Did you feel any pain? Are you okay?” he was suddenly thrown with several questions which seemed like a hundred voicing out throughout his head repeating, making him a headache out of it, his mind shouting for those voices to stop.
“Leave me alone, please.” His voice was soft, said in a pleading tone, his eyes looked aimlessly on the wall above, his heart could not feel a thing, and it was way beyond his limit, dejected.
“Tsubasa! What is wrong? You have to tell me! Tsubasa, don’t just keep silent!” he heard being yelled at, that voice he yearned to hear every day, but it was no use responding, his heart had turned numb, staring at the ceiling emotionlessly.
“I’m calling the doctor!”
I knew it, things would never be the same between us, to think that I thought you too felt the same way, but it was all nothing but a dream. A dream that will forever be mine, a dream that is incomplete without you, Takki.
-----
“Doctor! What exactly happened to Tsubasa? Why isn’t he responding?” Takki immediately rushed to the doctor’s side when the door opened, flooding him with questions out of panic mode.
“I’ve checked him and he is perfectly fine, his body is doing great now. But it seems that…”
A look of worry crept on his facial expression, hoping that it was not some bad news, he softly asked as he looked at him in fear, “What is it?”
“Well it looks like Tsubasa-kun needs a psychologist, he is affected emotionally, living in his dark world that is why he is blocking everyone else from entering, only he exist in that world. Even if you call out to him, he wouldn’t respond as he is trapped in his own world.” The doctor explained, knowing some information on this as he had studied psychology as his major.
“What… How can that happen? He was being so cheerful just a while ago! Doctor, how can these… This can’t be happening!”
“I’m sorry, I can’t answer your questions. But I’ll contact one of my close friends to take a look at him. In the meantime, just keep talking to Tsubasa-kun. I have to go.”
-----
I’m falling deeper, and deeper to the vast area of the ocean, I could only see bluish images surrounding me, the rest of which were too blur for me to notice, but beneath it, I heard soft voices, they’re too soft for me to hear the words being spoken, I tried to listen attentively, hoping to catch some words, in this total endless silence.
“Tsubasa! Tsubasa!” a voice calling out to me, but it was too soft that I could only hear the first few words, I reached out my hand to the direction of the only source of sound here, hoping that someone could pull me out of this lonely place, holding, gripping my hand tightly, leading me to the light, bringing me to the land, because I’m suffocating in here, I don’t know if I could hold on any longer.
I swam, reaching out my hands in the open air, but no one caught them, feeling so exhausted out of a sudden, my body felt so weak and I had no strength left to try to come to the surface, it’s no use, as I’m trapped in this place. Giving up, I felt my body gave way, falling further deeper into the ocean.
I’m tired, I have never felt this tired in my entire life. Maybe this is a right decision, I finally can have my own peace without anyone, anything to hinder my wishes. I finally can be alone and not think of anything, this world is my home, and I am the only resident.
Goodbye to the real world.
-----
“Tsubasa! Tsubasa! What the hell is wrong with you? Wake up! Tsubasa!” he shook the older man violently when the latter refused to respond to him although his eyes were opened, he still made no move to reply. Disappointed, he held Tsubasa’s hands with total endearment.
Why is he not replying? Tsubasa, what happened that made you fall to your own darkness? Did I do something that made you sad thus you felt the need to push everyone away. Don’t you remember last night? The night we had revealed our feelings without any resentment, only our love matters at that point of time, nobody could stop me from holding you like I’ve always wanted.
Don’t you remember, Tsubasa? Everything that had happened before you fell into consciousness. I remembered everything so clearly, that night, your body turn limb and I had to hold you tight to prevent you from falling.
That Night...
I hugged you, nothing could ever express my feelings right now, I felt so happy having you in my arms, knowing that we feel the same way for one another, it’s like a wish come true, too good to be true. But nevertheless, you are my love, the reason I am alive, I breathe only for you, Tsubasa.
Tsubasa, I love you.
It felt so good having your arms holding to my back, but I couldn’t feel anything, I failed to notice that you had already released your arms away from my body, I felt hurt, thinking that you’re regretting this moment, the reason why you had let go.
I didn’t notice that you had lost consciousness but when your weight seemed to fall on me, only did I realize then. Your eyes were tight closed and you looked pale, it looks as if you had not yet recovered. But you looked better, Tsubasa, that is why I pleaded for you to be discharged so that I could take care of you properly, of which my opportunity would be limited when you’re still in hospital. I can’t possibly take good care of you when I was given an allocated time to visit you, which is obviously not enough for me.
Do you know that I had wanted to express my feelings for you the moment we’ve arrived at your house? I had planned everything in my head, for a moment, I didn’t care what would the future outcome be, whether you will hate me or our friendship be broken, I don’t care. I couldn’t keep this feeling to myself anymore. I need to tell you, Tsubasa. Nothing could hinder my plans, all that matters is telling you that I love you, I have for so long.
But you beat me to it, as I was placing the banquet of red roses I bought especially for you on the table, those were my token of love, and not to congratulate you on your discharge. They will come in handy later but for now, I had to get you out of this creepy place.
He began to panic when he saw only sadness in Tsubasa, the moment he had turned to face him. He swear he could see tears forming in his partner’s eyes but remained silent, afraid that he would probably make the situation worse.
You held me in a tight embrace, not wanting to let me go, you’re crying freely by now, expressing whatever is in your heart that had been left unspoken for too long. You took me by surprise when you suddenly made a move to engulf me in a hug, I was frozen on the spot, and my mind told me to respond to it quickly, so I did what my heart told me to, holding you, accepting you in this warmth embrace.
And soon after, you told me that you love me, once again you managed to surprise me, my head had to process the piece of information slowly, to make sure that I had not heard wrongly, but my heart told me otherwise, that you love me.
-----
“Tsubasa, don’t you remember that night? Please respond to me, don’t keep me hanging in total silence. Come back to me.” He pleaded softly, tears in his eyes, blaming himself that he had caused Tsubasa to react this way.
“Tsubasa, I’ll die without you.” He whispered, when Tsubasa still did not give any respond after several hours of trying, but the latter just lied there, his expressionless look kept still, never leaving his face.
“I’ll die.” Takki said, lying his head on the bed, falling into a deep slumber without bothering to wipe away the tears.
-----
Tsubasa, I’ll die without you. I’ll die.
That voice, it’s so familiar. Who does it belong to? Wait, why is there even voices in here? Everything in here should be peaceful without any noise, just the sound of the beautiful nature of the ocean.
I’ll die.
He froze at the sad tone of the voice, finally hearing it loud and clear. Takki!! So all those voices I heard were from him. He was calling me yet I pushed him away. The confession, it was really a dream, wasn’t it? But why would Takki say something like that that he would die without me. What does it mean?
I’ll die.
“Takki!” he shouted, beads of perspiration on his forehead, as he jerked from his current position, sobbing silently, bringing the blanket closer to his body.
The younger man who was fast asleep was awoken by the sudden shouting of his name, he was shock for a moment, but was filled with happiness when he realized Tsubasa was up, out of the barrier he himself had created.
“Tsubasa!” he exclaimed, hugging him excitedly, glad that Tsubasa decided to leave that world of his, and be back in the real world.
“Takki.”
“Don’t scare me like that again! Do you understand?” Takki reprimanded him, acting to be angry but he just couldn’t, his voice trembling with fear as he said those words.
“Yes, I won’t.” Tsubasa replied in that deep voice of his, confused as to how his partner seemed so comfortable hugging him in that way, the couple hug when they were not even one.
So was that confession a dream or did it happened for real?
Takki flashed out a smile of happiness, embracing his lover yet once again, happy to have him back, “I love you.”
Okay, it’s no dream. It happened, and I’m glad it did.
“I love you too.” Tsubasa replied, breathing in his lover’s scent as he hid his head on the latter’s chest, happy to be back in this world, to be with his one and only love.
-----
Author's Note: Does this chapter seemed twisted to you? Like you thought that this is going to happen but it's not, twisted around into something else. I don't know how I get this idea to make Tsuba think that confession thing did not happen, that it was only imagination on his part. Just say that he was being discharged in the evening. I know that does not make sense since people are usually being discharged from the hospital in mornings or afternoon, rarely at night. Just that in my story, Tsubasa was only released in the evening. Hmmm, because he is a celebrity??
Sorry this took me long enough though, I tried writing on Friday but there was no inspiration to continue writing this chapter. I just had no mood at all. So I only managed to complete it today, everything went smoothly. Hope you enjoyed this chapter too. And please comment alrightz? ^-^
Chapter 6
-----
Tears shed, all the hurt that he had felt was gone in an instant, anything does not matter anymore, the person he loved is with him, holding him, trusting him with care that no one else would do, this feels like a dream, having him the way he had always wanted.
“Tsubasa? Tsubasa, are you alright? Tsubasa!” he heard someone calling his name, the voice seemed so distant away but somehow it feels so close, his vision blurred for a moment before finally returning back to normal, realizing that he was still in the same position on his bed.
“That can’t be, all of that was not real? It was just my illusion?” Tsubasa screamed out loud in his head, hoping that it was not true, that he hadn’t dreamt the confession but when he noticed how the other looked at him worriedly, his heart had crushed into a million pieces, slumped his body dejectedly.
“Tsubasa? What is it? Did you feel any pain? Are you okay?” he was suddenly thrown with several questions which seemed like a hundred voicing out throughout his head repeating, making him a headache out of it, his mind shouting for those voices to stop.
“Leave me alone, please.” His voice was soft, said in a pleading tone, his eyes looked aimlessly on the wall above, his heart could not feel a thing, and it was way beyond his limit, dejected.
“Tsubasa! What is wrong? You have to tell me! Tsubasa, don’t just keep silent!” he heard being yelled at, that voice he yearned to hear every day, but it was no use responding, his heart had turned numb, staring at the ceiling emotionlessly.
“I’m calling the doctor!”
I knew it, things would never be the same between us, to think that I thought you too felt the same way, but it was all nothing but a dream. A dream that will forever be mine, a dream that is incomplete without you, Takki.
-----
“Doctor! What exactly happened to Tsubasa? Why isn’t he responding?” Takki immediately rushed to the doctor’s side when the door opened, flooding him with questions out of panic mode.
“I’ve checked him and he is perfectly fine, his body is doing great now. But it seems that…”
A look of worry crept on his facial expression, hoping that it was not some bad news, he softly asked as he looked at him in fear, “What is it?”
“Well it looks like Tsubasa-kun needs a psychologist, he is affected emotionally, living in his dark world that is why he is blocking everyone else from entering, only he exist in that world. Even if you call out to him, he wouldn’t respond as he is trapped in his own world.” The doctor explained, knowing some information on this as he had studied psychology as his major.
“What… How can that happen? He was being so cheerful just a while ago! Doctor, how can these… This can’t be happening!”
“I’m sorry, I can’t answer your questions. But I’ll contact one of my close friends to take a look at him. In the meantime, just keep talking to Tsubasa-kun. I have to go.”
-----
I’m falling deeper, and deeper to the vast area of the ocean, I could only see bluish images surrounding me, the rest of which were too blur for me to notice, but beneath it, I heard soft voices, they’re too soft for me to hear the words being spoken, I tried to listen attentively, hoping to catch some words, in this total endless silence.
“Tsubasa! Tsubasa!” a voice calling out to me, but it was too soft that I could only hear the first few words, I reached out my hand to the direction of the only source of sound here, hoping that someone could pull me out of this lonely place, holding, gripping my hand tightly, leading me to the light, bringing me to the land, because I’m suffocating in here, I don’t know if I could hold on any longer.
I swam, reaching out my hands in the open air, but no one caught them, feeling so exhausted out of a sudden, my body felt so weak and I had no strength left to try to come to the surface, it’s no use, as I’m trapped in this place. Giving up, I felt my body gave way, falling further deeper into the ocean.
I’m tired, I have never felt this tired in my entire life. Maybe this is a right decision, I finally can have my own peace without anyone, anything to hinder my wishes. I finally can be alone and not think of anything, this world is my home, and I am the only resident.
Goodbye to the real world.
-----
“Tsubasa! Tsubasa! What the hell is wrong with you? Wake up! Tsubasa!” he shook the older man violently when the latter refused to respond to him although his eyes were opened, he still made no move to reply. Disappointed, he held Tsubasa’s hands with total endearment.
Why is he not replying? Tsubasa, what happened that made you fall to your own darkness? Did I do something that made you sad thus you felt the need to push everyone away. Don’t you remember last night? The night we had revealed our feelings without any resentment, only our love matters at that point of time, nobody could stop me from holding you like I’ve always wanted.
Don’t you remember, Tsubasa? Everything that had happened before you fell into consciousness. I remembered everything so clearly, that night, your body turn limb and I had to hold you tight to prevent you from falling.
That Night...
I hugged you, nothing could ever express my feelings right now, I felt so happy having you in my arms, knowing that we feel the same way for one another, it’s like a wish come true, too good to be true. But nevertheless, you are my love, the reason I am alive, I breathe only for you, Tsubasa.
Tsubasa, I love you.
It felt so good having your arms holding to my back, but I couldn’t feel anything, I failed to notice that you had already released your arms away from my body, I felt hurt, thinking that you’re regretting this moment, the reason why you had let go.
I didn’t notice that you had lost consciousness but when your weight seemed to fall on me, only did I realize then. Your eyes were tight closed and you looked pale, it looks as if you had not yet recovered. But you looked better, Tsubasa, that is why I pleaded for you to be discharged so that I could take care of you properly, of which my opportunity would be limited when you’re still in hospital. I can’t possibly take good care of you when I was given an allocated time to visit you, which is obviously not enough for me.
Do you know that I had wanted to express my feelings for you the moment we’ve arrived at your house? I had planned everything in my head, for a moment, I didn’t care what would the future outcome be, whether you will hate me or our friendship be broken, I don’t care. I couldn’t keep this feeling to myself anymore. I need to tell you, Tsubasa. Nothing could hinder my plans, all that matters is telling you that I love you, I have for so long.
But you beat me to it, as I was placing the banquet of red roses I bought especially for you on the table, those were my token of love, and not to congratulate you on your discharge. They will come in handy later but for now, I had to get you out of this creepy place.
He began to panic when he saw only sadness in Tsubasa, the moment he had turned to face him. He swear he could see tears forming in his partner’s eyes but remained silent, afraid that he would probably make the situation worse.
You held me in a tight embrace, not wanting to let me go, you’re crying freely by now, expressing whatever is in your heart that had been left unspoken for too long. You took me by surprise when you suddenly made a move to engulf me in a hug, I was frozen on the spot, and my mind told me to respond to it quickly, so I did what my heart told me to, holding you, accepting you in this warmth embrace.
And soon after, you told me that you love me, once again you managed to surprise me, my head had to process the piece of information slowly, to make sure that I had not heard wrongly, but my heart told me otherwise, that you love me.
-----
“Tsubasa, don’t you remember that night? Please respond to me, don’t keep me hanging in total silence. Come back to me.” He pleaded softly, tears in his eyes, blaming himself that he had caused Tsubasa to react this way.
“Tsubasa, I’ll die without you.” He whispered, when Tsubasa still did not give any respond after several hours of trying, but the latter just lied there, his expressionless look kept still, never leaving his face.
“I’ll die.” Takki said, lying his head on the bed, falling into a deep slumber without bothering to wipe away the tears.
-----
Tsubasa, I’ll die without you. I’ll die.
That voice, it’s so familiar. Who does it belong to? Wait, why is there even voices in here? Everything in here should be peaceful without any noise, just the sound of the beautiful nature of the ocean.
I’ll die.
He froze at the sad tone of the voice, finally hearing it loud and clear. Takki!! So all those voices I heard were from him. He was calling me yet I pushed him away. The confession, it was really a dream, wasn’t it? But why would Takki say something like that that he would die without me. What does it mean?
I’ll die.
“Takki!” he shouted, beads of perspiration on his forehead, as he jerked from his current position, sobbing silently, bringing the blanket closer to his body.
The younger man who was fast asleep was awoken by the sudden shouting of his name, he was shock for a moment, but was filled with happiness when he realized Tsubasa was up, out of the barrier he himself had created.
“Tsubasa!” he exclaimed, hugging him excitedly, glad that Tsubasa decided to leave that world of his, and be back in the real world.
“Takki.”
“Don’t scare me like that again! Do you understand?” Takki reprimanded him, acting to be angry but he just couldn’t, his voice trembling with fear as he said those words.
“Yes, I won’t.” Tsubasa replied in that deep voice of his, confused as to how his partner seemed so comfortable hugging him in that way, the couple hug when they were not even one.
So was that confession a dream or did it happened for real?
Takki flashed out a smile of happiness, embracing his lover yet once again, happy to have him back, “I love you.”
Okay, it’s no dream. It happened, and I’m glad it did.
“I love you too.” Tsubasa replied, breathing in his lover’s scent as he hid his head on the latter’s chest, happy to be back in this world, to be with his one and only love.
-----
Author's Note: Does this chapter seemed twisted to you? Like you thought that this is going to happen but it's not, twisted around into something else. I don't know how I get this idea to make Tsuba think that confession thing did not happen, that it was only imagination on his part. Just say that he was being discharged in the evening. I know that does not make sense since people are usually being discharged from the hospital in mornings or afternoon, rarely at night. Just that in my story, Tsubasa was only released in the evening. Hmmm, because he is a celebrity??
Sorry this took me long enough though, I tried writing on Friday but there was no inspiration to continue writing this chapter. I just had no mood at all. So I only managed to complete it today, everything went smoothly. Hope you enjoyed this chapter too. And please comment alrightz? ^-^