[One-shot] Inevitable Fate
Title: Inevitable Fate
Author: hanez
Pairing: Akame
Genre: Angst
Rating: PG 13
Disclaimer: None of the characters belongs to me.
Summary: They didn’t expect their relationship to turn bad. Fed-up of their constant fights, Jin decides to take a vacation to another country, for how long no one knows. He had sent Kazuya a voice message beforehand, pleading to not let him go. Kazuya chase after Jin but something inevitable happened to him on the way to Jin …
Note: One-shot sequel to Love Stays Strong. You can read this one-shot on its own, but it is better if you read that multi-chapter first, if you have not.
-
Two weeks, it had been two weeks since Akanishi Jin left for another country, leaving him, leaving everything else he had over here in Japan. Kazuya bit his lower lip as he tried to forget the older man who was the cause of his misery.
“If you come to the airport and ask me not to leave, then I won’t, Kazu.”
Kazuya had thrown away his pride, his ego, and rushed to the airport, just so that he could have his love by his side. Kazuya was so close in reaching Jin but as if fate was playing on them, yet again, they were separated.
“Kazuya?”
Recognising the voice too well, he hastily wiped away his tears, not wanting his friend to see him in such a state. Kazuya looked up at the said man and flashed a small smile. “Hey, Pi … what’s up?”
“Are you thinking about him again?” Yamapi asked in concern.
“Why should I? It’s not as if he cares …” The last sentence was barely a whisper as Kazuya looked down, clasping his hands, trying to control his emotions. His heart was throbbing with pain. It hurts so much, damn it!
“You should tell him the truth, Kazuya. You should …”
“No!” Kazuya’s tone quivered, grabbing Yamapi’s wrist instantly. “P… ple … please … don’t tell … him. I don’t want him to know. Please ….” He pleaded.
“But why …”
“I don’t want him to come back to me because of pity. I … I don’t need his pity. Besides, he is probably happy with his life there. He doesn’t need someone like me to burden him. I’ll … only make it worse. I don’t want to be the one to destroy his newfound life.”
“You are suffering and hurting here while that bastard simply enjoys his life in a foreign country! He promised not to hurt you anymore but he did, yet once again! I shouldn’t have believed his words then! This seriously isn’t fair, Kazuya! He should … he should be punished as well.”
“Maybe …” Kazuya glanced at his friend sadly. “We weren’t meant to be together after all …”
He suddenly felt sleepy all of a sudden, his eyes threatening to close any second, and without warning, Kazuya collapsed on the bed, emotionless and unmoving.
“Kazuya! Oh my god …” Yamapi quickly pressed the emergency button, giving way to the doctor and nurses who had barged into the room. “Kazuya, what did you just do to yourself?” He whispered, watching in horror as the nurses transferred the almost lifeless Kazuya onto a stretcher.
-
They were happy. After going through many hardships together, they were finally reunited. Jin had fully recovered and despite that, Kazuya still kept a close watch on him. Life was really blissful for them. No one would have thought their relationship would have to undergo another obstacle.
A year had passed since then, and things started to change between them. Work had been really stressful especially for Kazuya, who received many drama opportunities, acting out different roles. This caused a strain in their relationship, the lack of communication and time for one another only made it worse.
“You’re clearly obsessed with your work! If you love your work so much, why don’t you marry it? And leave me out of all this mess!!!” Jin flailed his arms, he was seriously out of it, feeling so frustrated that harsh words came out of his mouth.
“What are you talking about?” Kazuya massaged his head painfully, he had come home from a tiring filming and this was what he got first thing from his lover. “If I’m not mistaken, you also contributed to this … mess that you’re talking about. Don’t accuse me of something when you’re also part of it’s cause.” He said in a tired tone.
Jin’s eyes blasted with anger as he positioned himself on the couch, grabbing Kazuya’s collar instantly. “Damn you, Kamenashi! What happened to you?”
“Well, what happened to you too?” Kazuya looked up at Jin with an indifferent expression, mirroring Jin’s own. Kazuya hadn’t wanted to say that, what he really wanted to say was … ‘What truly had happened to us?’ but he couldn’t voice out his feelings, his ego and pride was taking control of him.
Jin’s hold on Kazuya’s collar loosened as he stared at him in shock. “What …”
Kazuya hung his head down shamefully, knowing that the damage had been done and that it was too late to turn back. Instead of saying anything, Kazuya said nothing at all. The eerie silence was starting to make him feel uncomfortable though …
“Do you think … Maybe we should just …?”
“I think we should.” Kazuya said calmly after a minute of silence, he bit his lips as he flashed Jin a sad look. “I think it’s the best decision for us. We’ll only hurt each other more if we continue with this.”
“Is that so?”
Kazuya made the mistake to look at Jin in the eye because … to see the disappointment in those beautiful brown orbs hurts him a lot. Kazuya’s answer wasn’t the one Jin was hoping for, as it seemed.
“Jin … I …”
“You don’t have to say anything. I understand now.” Jin got up from the couch and stretched his arms. “I guess I have to move back to my parent’s house soon, huh? I’ll sleep in the guest room for now.”
Kazuya simply watched Jin’s diminishing back as he entered said room.
-
“I can’t believe this! I can’t!!!” Kazuya shouted weakly at Yamapi, not caring about the worried looks everyone was flashing him. The members of KAT-TUN, his family were there in the room as they watched in silence the scene between the two friends. “Why didn’t you just let me die? Why do you have to save me for the second time again? WHY!???” Kazuya clutched onto Yamapi’s shirt.
“Kazuya, death is not the solution to your problems. It’s …”
“SHUT UP! Shut up … Just shut up …” Kazuya covered his ears with his hands, shaking his head at the same time. Using the support from his upper body, Kazuya wants to get up from the bed, only to be stopped by Yamapi. “Kazuya, no! You’ll fall down!”
“I won’t fall, damn it!” Kazuya pushed Yamapi with all his might. Despite saying that, once his feet touched the floor and that his support was gone, Kazuya fell flat on the cold floor. He clenched his fists tightly as he lets out one agony scream. He tried to struggle when the doctor tried to inject him with something.
“No, let go of me! Let go!!!” Kazuya refused to give up even when two nurses held him by the side, allowing the doctor to complete his task. Tears ran down his face when the syringe was inserted, knowing that the drug would take it’s effect soon. “Jin …”
-
“I’m sorry we have to do this. It’s so he would not hurt himself.” The doctor explained.
Nakamaru and Kazuya’s family nodded, their hearts tore them apart as they watched Kazuya’s wrist being strapped to the bed. Countless of times Kazuya tried to get off the bed which of course, caused him to fall hard on the floor. The injuries he got then could have been worse, it could have been fatal, no one would know.
“Kazuya …” Kazuya’s mother sobbed, truly hurt to see her son in that condition. Though Kazuya was unconscious, it was honestly heartbreaking. “Why do you have to go through all this?” She whispered painfully, holding her son’s hand tightly while being held by her husband.
Nakamaru clenched his fists, deciding that it was time to tell Jin the truth.
-
His attempt to commit suicide had failed for the second time but that’s alright, there is always another time to do it, so he thought. Kazuya’s eyes fluttered open slowly, his eyes trying to adjust to the bright light in the hospital room. He tried to move his hands but was shocked when he found it to be tied to the bed’s handle.
“Wha … what is this?” Kazuya let out one small gasp, trying to free himself but to no avail. He spotted Ueda at the corner and called for him. “Tat-chan, can you help untie this?”
“I’m sorry, Kazuya. I can’t, you will only …”
“Hurt myself?” Kazuya let out a laugh. “Of course I will continue to hurt myself if you guys do not constantly try to stop me! Let me do whatever I want, please!”
“Kazuya, if Jin knew, he wouldn’t …”
“What does that guy knows? He probably is moving on with his life wherever he is now! The name Kamenashi Kazuya no longer existed in his heart! He is one fucking bastard who doesn’t even care about me anymore!” Kazuya glanced up at Ueda, tears cluttered in his eyes. “How can I be strong if he’s not here? How can I … when he’s my strength? I hate him. I hate him so much for making me this weak …”
“Kazuya …”
Kazuya turned frantic the next second, struggling against his restriction. “Let go of me! LET GOOOO!!!”
-
“You’re not going to chase after him, Kazuya? His flight leaves in two hours, you still have time to ...”
“No.” Kazuya interrupted his friend. “Jin made the decision to leave and I’m not going to stop him. I don’t want to be the reason for him to stay, and stop him from doing the thing he loves. It’s Jin’s dream and I … am willing to sacrifice because of it.”
“But Kazuya, you are Jin’s true dream!”
“Not for him, Yamapi.” Kazuya whispered painfully. “Just … just say goodbye to him for me, please?”
“Kazuya, I …”
He immediately hung up the phone, staring into the empty air.
-
“So you’ve finally come back to Japan.”
Reio made his way to the bedroom, knowing very well that the two best friends needed some private time together. The door closed shut with Reio hoping that the talk would go well.
“Well, you guys practically forced me back. What … with Nakamaru and Taguchi personally fetching me? Just so you could have a talk with me … Why can’t we speak over the phone anyway? It’s easier that way. You don’t have to waste three plane tickets then.”
“It’s something important that couldn’t be talked on the phone, Jin.”
Jin rolled his eyes, “What possibly could be that …”
“It’s about Kazuya.”
“You made me come back all the way to Japan just to talk about that person? Seriously, Pi … couldn’t you be reasonable? Man, this is stupid! I spent the many hours in the plane for nothing! You know me well enough, Pi! I don’t give a damn care about that person anymore!”
Yamapi punched Jin in a fit of anger. “You’re turning back into the heartless person you once were! I can’t take this anymore!” He grabbed Jin’s collar roughly and glared at his best friend. “For your information, the person whom you hate so much ends up on the verge of life and death, when all he did was to chase after you at the airport!”
“Wha …” Jin whispered. “You … you mean … Kazuya came?”
Yamapi nodded.
“What happened to him …?” Jin’s voice was barely a whisper. His heart hurts for some reason as he shook his friend’s shoulder violently. “Yamapi, tell me what happened! What happened to Kazuya? What happened to him?” Yamapi wanted to say something but was interrupted by the other. “Please … just please don’t tell me Kazuya died because my heart definitely won’t be able to take it …”
“Jin …”
-
Kazuya placed the phone to his ear and listened to the voice mail Jin had sent him. It didn’t hurt to just listen to Jin’s last voice message to him, did it? But by the time the message came to an end, Kazuya practically broke down. He slipped on his jacket and grabbed his keys, slamming the door of his apartment shut.
“Honestly, Kazuya … I don’t want to go. I don’t want to leave or lose you. You seemed to have lost your interest in me so I decided to go to some place far from Japan. I guess both of us are at fault … in a way to have our relationship to suffer like this. I … I may not be your boyfriend anymore but if you still love me, please don’t let go of me? If you come to the airport and ask me not to leave, then I won’t, Kazu.”
Kazuya glanced at his wrist watch, rushing past people as he entered Narita Airport. Nervousness clouded his mind, his lips formed into a small smile when he spotted Jin outside the Departure area, along with his friends, from the upper level. Kazuya made his way to the escalator, in haste he slipped and lost his control, tumbling down the escalator. The impact of the fall was so strong that Kazuya immediately lost consciousness, his body facing the floor as blood soon formed around him.
Akanishi Jin had merely missed Kazuya by a mere second.
-
The image in front of him broke Jin’s heart. He glanced at the wheelchair situated at the corner of the room before turning his gaze to the unconscious man on the bed. If Jin knew that something inevitable would happen to Kazuya, he for sure wouldn’t have sent him that voice message.
“No one … no one should be treated like this.” Jin brushed Kazuya’s cheeks lightly, traces of tears was evident on the latter’s face. Jin then untied Kazuya’s restrain, placing his arms gently underneath Kazuya, lifting him up bridal-style.
“Jin, what are you doing?” Yamapi appeared at the door of Kazuya’s hospital room, dumbfounded.
“Taking Kazuya home …”
“But Jin, Kazuya …”
“I’ve gone through this, Pi. The last place I wanted to be was the hospital, I hated it so much. I’m sure Kazuya feels the same way too. So I’m taking him to the only place where he’d feel at ease, our home.” Jin explained, holding Kazuya firmly.
Yamapi sighed, nodding his head in understanding. “Go on, I’ll handle the discharge documents.”
“Thanks, Pi.”
Jin walked out of the room, Kazuya in his arms.
-
“How could this have happened to you?” Jin whispered, staring at Kazuya who was now lying beside him on their bed. Kazuya looked pale and much thinner than the last time Jin had seen him, that he was starting to blame himself for Kazuya’s fate. If he hadn’t left Japan at all, this wouldn’t have happened.
Kazuya would still be able to walk and run, and not be paralysed from the waist down. This scenario was hard to believe, Kazuya is in the same shoe as Jin had been more than a year ago. Unlike him, Kazuya’s situation was different, not only had he lost the feel of his legs, he had lost Jin as well. Jin remembered what Yamapi had told him that Kazuya had tried to kill himself several times.
Kazuya was hurt physically and emotionally, his heart was unable to accept the fact that he had lost Jin forever. It didn’t matter that he was paralysed but what made him lost control was the thought of not having Jin by his side anymore.
“I’m back now. I won’t leave your side anymore.” Jin kissed the younger man on the forehead as he wrapped his arms around Kazuya’s thin waist. “I promise.”
-
Jin stood in front of the Departure entrance, his eyes searching for a certain person but to no avail, he was nowhere to be seen. Jin forced a smile in front of his friends, heaving out a sigh as he told them that it was time for him to leave.
“Why don’t we wait for a little while more, Jin? I’m sure Kazuya would …”
“He won’t come, Pi. I know he won’t.” Jin shook his head as he bit his lower lip. “It’s okay. I understand his reasons for not coming. I’ll be fine. You don’t have to worry about me at all. This is not the first time that I’ll be on my own.”
“Onii-chan ...”
“Take care of him for me, please Reio and Pi …?” Jin pleaded.
“You don’t have to ask us, you know.”
“Yeah.” Reio agreed.
Jin nodded, relieved. “I’ll make a move first. See you guys soon.” He then showed his passport to the officer and entered the Departure Entrance, not once did he turned back.
“I’ve lost you for real …”
-
Kazuya’s eyes fluttered open, staring at the ceiling above him, not bothering to move his hands, knowing that he wouldn’t be set free despite continuous struggling and pleadings from him. He let out a small gasp the second he realises that his hands were no longer restrained but instead there was a warm hand resting on his waist and he felt something snuggling against his body.
“Ji-“
Kazuya clamped his mouth when he noticed Jin’s appearance next to him. The latter stirred but soon fall back to slumber. Kazuya scanned the room warily, another gasp escaped his lips when he realised that he was in his room, no … their room. Kazuya shot up into a sitting position, pushing Jin’s arm away from him.
The incident hadn’t been a nightmare but Jin was here with him, that it all made it seemed like it was just a dream. But … Jin seemed so real to be a dream!
“Kazu … go back to sleep.” Jin murmured in a sleepy tone, his eyes staring up at the shocked Kazuya. “I promise that we’ll have a talk tomorrow morning but for now, let’s go back to sleep?”
Kazuya shook his head, wanting the voice that sounds so much like Jin to go away. He wants this image of him in this bedroom to disappear because it was only a dream. “You’re not real.” Kazuya choked out painfully. “You’re not real! Stop haunting me even in my dreams! Go away!!!”
“Kazu!” Jin was wide awake as he immediately pulled the shaking Kazuya into his arms, hugging him tightly. “This is not a dream, sweety. I’m here. I’m really here …” Jin cupped Kazuya’s cheeks, gazing at those beautiful orbs he truly missed.
“No, you can’t be here. You’re in …”
“I came back.” Jin explained in a firm tone. “I’m not going to leave. I’m staying for real.”
“Then it’s not a dream? It’s really you?” Kazuya whispered.
“Yes.”
Kazuya’s eyes waters, as he lunged himself onto Jin. “Jin, I was so scared … so scared …” He clutched onto Jin’s shirt for dear life. Jin whispered sweet nothings as he pulled Kazuya even closer to him, kissing the other on the head.
-
“Why are you here?”
That was the first thing that came out of Kazuya’s mouth the next morning. He couldn’t wait any longer to hear Jin’s explanation. He didn’t have that patience. Jin nodded his head, ready to explain himself to Kazuya.
“I was forced to come back to Japan by Nakamaru and Taguchi, went straight to Yamapi’s apartment and he told me the truth about you.” Kazuya opened his mouth to say something but was quickly interrupted by Jin. “Kazu, it was true that I came back not of my own will but when Yamapi told me what had happened to you, my heart literally broke! I’m not staying out of pity, if there’s a reason … it’s because I love you! It’s the same as when you wanted to take care of me despite my disability then. It’s not pity, Kazu. Please believe me …”
Kazuya nodded his head. His eyes stung as tears starts to clutter around it. “Now I know how you truly felt back then.” Kazuya whispered out, biting his lower lip as he looked down.
Jin made Kazuya face him, “The doctor said that the possibility of recovering is there, right? When you’re ready, let’s go for your therapy. It’s worth giving it a try, right?”
“Hmm.” Kazuya nodded.
“I’ll accompany you and be your support. It’s not returning of favours of what you did for me, rather it’s because I want to do so, I want to be there for you truly. You understand this, right Kazu?”
A smile lifted on Kazuya’s face for the first time in two weeks.
-
There was a small gathering to celebrate Jin’s comeback, many of their friends came. Jin was only gone for a short period of time but still, they thought that a small party would do great to both the reunited couple. Kazuya smiled and laughed as his members teased him, all of them were glad that their youngest member had returned to his old self.
“If I know Kazuya would be happier, I shouldn’t have listened to him and told you of the incident immediately. Kazuya seriously was a wreck the first day he learnt of his disability. He made us promised to not tell you, that he’ll be fine without you. His words contradict his own feelings because … he kept calling for you in his sleep. Obviously, he needs you. He just didn’t want to admit it.”
“We’re both at faults. We were at the top of our limits. If only we had talked about our problem, then … this wouldn’t have happened.” Jin shook his head. “We’ve put the past behind us, and the both of us are moving forward, together. I have faith in Kazuya and I’ll pray for his full recovery.”
“One more thing to add to that. Please don’t fight anymore, okay?” Yamapi crossed his arms.
“Well, that’s the reason we need friends by our side …” Jin grinned. He left Yamapi’s side, shoo-ing Koki off the couch as he sat next to Kazuya, placing one protective arm around his shoulder. “He’s mine, alright?”
Koki rolled his eyes. “As if everyone doesn’t know that ...”
“Well, reminding you doesn’t hurt … right, Kazu?”
Kazuya didn’t say anything. He simply leaned his head on Jin’s shoulder and closed his eyes.
-
“Kamenashi-san survived the fall. He’s currently in a stable condition, just that …”
“Just what, doctor?” Nakamaru asked, concerned for Kazuya.
“I’m afraid he is paralysed from the waist down. The impact of the fall is strong and it injured his spinal cord. In Kamenashi-san’s case, it’s a serious back injury.” The doctor explained calmly.
“What?” Kazuya’s friends and family voiced out in shock. They were thankful that Kazuya was still alive but to hear the bad news was devastating. Jin had once suffered from serious back injury, and now … Kazuya? It was too much of a shock, really.
“Can Kazuya … can he ever walk again?” Kazuya’s mother asked, hoping.
“It’s not certain but recovering in Kamenashi-san’s case is not impossible. With him attending physiotherapy, the possibility of recovering is there. Estimation wise, it’ll take him about a year to recover fully.”
-
It was the first day of Kazuya’s physiotherapy. He scanned the room nervously for Jin, relieving a sigh of relief when he spots his lover at a corner of the room. As if sensing Kazuya’s anxiety, Jin headed towards him and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder.
“You’ll do great.”
Kazuya nodded and smiled at Jin. With his lover’s support, he was able to overcome anything. He’ll get well and be able to walk and run again, hopefully. If not for himself, he wants to do it for Jin. Whatever he does, it’s for Jin.
-
KAT-TUN was once again put on indefinite hiatus. Jin willingly took the time off to take care of Kazuya while the rest of the members were given solo activities. This time, the fans were told of the concrete truth though not all had been revealed.
“Wait here. I’ll be right back.”
Kazuya nodded solemnly, holding the handle of his wheelchair real tight, suddenly feeling out of place without Jin by his side. Kazuya found the sudden urge to go to the restroom so he wheeled himself there and before he could even reached for the knob, someone rushed past him, entering the handicapped restroom. The man hit Kazuya’s wheelchair causing him to fall flat on the floor, the wheelchair toppling down with him as well.
Kazuya didn’t utter a word instead he clenched his fists in frustration, not moving a spot from his position. He didn’t even answer his phone when it rang.
“Kazuya! Oh my god …” Jin rushed towards his lover the second he found him. “Are you alright, Kazu?” He helped Kazuya to a sitting position, glancing at him worriedly.
“Jin …” Kazuya’s tone croaked, tears starts to pour down his cheeks.
“Kazu, what happened? Did anyone hurt you?” Jin placed both of his hands on Kazuya’s shoulder. He wanted to ask more but someone came out from the handicapped restroom, interrupting their moment. The man looked at them weirdly but Jin simply glared back at him. When the man was gone, Jin turned back his attention to Kazuya. “Kazu?”
“I … I just wanted to go to the restroom but … but that man kind of pushed me and it made me fall.”
“What?” Jin gritted his teeth. “That bastard! I’ll teach him a lesson …” He wanted to run after the said man but was being pulled back by Kazuya. “No, it’s alright. I don’t want to get you into trouble.” Kazuya shook his head as he flashed Jin a reassuring smile.
“Do you still need to go to the restroom?”
“No, I just want to go home …”
Jin nodded, carrying Kazuya up instantly, placing him gently on the wheelchair. No one noticed who they were due to their disguise. Even if they were spotted by paparazzis, they don’t care. They have the freedom and the right to move around freely.
-
“Why the sudden idea of a picnic?” Kazuya pops up the question, facing Jin in curiosity. He took a bite of his sandwich as he waited for Jin’s answer knowingly. “What?” Kazuya frowned when Jin only smiled at him.
“You’re too cute for words.”
“Hey, don’t try to change the subject!” A pout formed on Kazuya’s face to which Jin kissed it away resulting in the other to blush. “Jin …” Kazuya pouted again.
“Stop with your pout otherwise I’ll kiss you again.” Jin warned but was ignored by Kazuya who kept on pouting. Jin had no choice as he pushed Kazuya down gently, straddling him, bending down to kiss him on the lips. “I warned you, didn’t I?”
“I don’t mind pouting if it means you punishing me with a kiss.” Kazuya answered cheekily.
“You …” Jin kissed Kazuya once again, this time longer. When he broke apart, Jin noticed that Kazuya was crying. “Kazu, what’s wrong?”
“I’m just … happy.” Kazuya smiled despite the tears. “If not for you, I wouldn’t be able to make it …”
Jin brushed away those crystal droplets. “It’s due to your hard effort, Kazu. It might have taken you much longer than me but still, you reached your goal in the end.”
“But Jin … it’s because of you too, that I found the courage in me.”
Jin smiled. “We did it together, right?”
Kazuya nodded, wrapping his arms around Jin’s neck, gazing at him lovingly. That irresistible expression from Kazuya tempted Jin as he once again pressed his lips on the other’s, the kiss turned deeper by mere seconds.
“Let’s play catching!” Jin suggested once they parted from one another.
“I don’t want! I want you to piggyback me!”
“Eh …” Jin was surprised by Kazuya’s request but one look at the younger one’s puppy eyed expression, he knew he couldn’t turn him down. “Well, alright. Anything for you, Kazu.” He got up and bent slightly, waiting for Kazuya to climb on his back.
“You’re not going to catch me, Jin!” Kazuya chuckled as he starts to run for dear life. He shrieked in excitement when he sees Jin made a move to chase him. Kazuya laughed gleefully when Jin finally caught him, his lover pulling him close to his body.
“Who says I can’t catch you, sweety?” Jin whispered dangerously to Kazuya’s ear.
“I did?”
“Kazuya!” Jin pretended to be mad, placing his hands on his waist.
“I’ve never had that doubt, Jin. I know you will always catch me when I fall.” Kazuya whispered. That sentence from Kazuya made Jin smile as he brushed his hair full of love, cupping his cheeks before capturing Kazuya’s lips for a kiss once again.
Kazuya closed his eyes and smiled.
-
A\N: I wanted to write paralysed Kazuya no matter what, and this plotline disturbed me for days so I had to write it. When your muse is on, I don’t have a choice but to write it down. I loved how it turned out in the end. I can’t believe that I’m able to write all the angst then the ending … is so cheesy! Haha! Ah, but I’m happy that I’m able to write angst again. I’ve been writing fluff lately and really missed my angst. Hope you all loved this one-shot of mine! Comment please to make me happy!
Author: hanez
Pairing: Akame
Genre: Angst
Rating: PG 13
Disclaimer: None of the characters belongs to me.
Summary: They didn’t expect their relationship to turn bad. Fed-up of their constant fights, Jin decides to take a vacation to another country, for how long no one knows. He had sent Kazuya a voice message beforehand, pleading to not let him go. Kazuya chase after Jin but something inevitable happened to him on the way to Jin …
Note: One-shot sequel to Love Stays Strong. You can read this one-shot on its own, but it is better if you read that multi-chapter first, if you have not.
-
Two weeks, it had been two weeks since Akanishi Jin left for another country, leaving him, leaving everything else he had over here in Japan. Kazuya bit his lower lip as he tried to forget the older man who was the cause of his misery.
“If you come to the airport and ask me not to leave, then I won’t, Kazu.”
Kazuya had thrown away his pride, his ego, and rushed to the airport, just so that he could have his love by his side. Kazuya was so close in reaching Jin but as if fate was playing on them, yet again, they were separated.
“Kazuya?”
Recognising the voice too well, he hastily wiped away his tears, not wanting his friend to see him in such a state. Kazuya looked up at the said man and flashed a small smile. “Hey, Pi … what’s up?”
“Are you thinking about him again?” Yamapi asked in concern.
“Why should I? It’s not as if he cares …” The last sentence was barely a whisper as Kazuya looked down, clasping his hands, trying to control his emotions. His heart was throbbing with pain. It hurts so much, damn it!
“You should tell him the truth, Kazuya. You should …”
“No!” Kazuya’s tone quivered, grabbing Yamapi’s wrist instantly. “P… ple … please … don’t tell … him. I don’t want him to know. Please ….” He pleaded.
“But why …”
“I don’t want him to come back to me because of pity. I … I don’t need his pity. Besides, he is probably happy with his life there. He doesn’t need someone like me to burden him. I’ll … only make it worse. I don’t want to be the one to destroy his newfound life.”
“You are suffering and hurting here while that bastard simply enjoys his life in a foreign country! He promised not to hurt you anymore but he did, yet once again! I shouldn’t have believed his words then! This seriously isn’t fair, Kazuya! He should … he should be punished as well.”
“Maybe …” Kazuya glanced at his friend sadly. “We weren’t meant to be together after all …”
He suddenly felt sleepy all of a sudden, his eyes threatening to close any second, and without warning, Kazuya collapsed on the bed, emotionless and unmoving.
“Kazuya! Oh my god …” Yamapi quickly pressed the emergency button, giving way to the doctor and nurses who had barged into the room. “Kazuya, what did you just do to yourself?” He whispered, watching in horror as the nurses transferred the almost lifeless Kazuya onto a stretcher.
-
They were happy. After going through many hardships together, they were finally reunited. Jin had fully recovered and despite that, Kazuya still kept a close watch on him. Life was really blissful for them. No one would have thought their relationship would have to undergo another obstacle.
A year had passed since then, and things started to change between them. Work had been really stressful especially for Kazuya, who received many drama opportunities, acting out different roles. This caused a strain in their relationship, the lack of communication and time for one another only made it worse.
“You’re clearly obsessed with your work! If you love your work so much, why don’t you marry it? And leave me out of all this mess!!!” Jin flailed his arms, he was seriously out of it, feeling so frustrated that harsh words came out of his mouth.
“What are you talking about?” Kazuya massaged his head painfully, he had come home from a tiring filming and this was what he got first thing from his lover. “If I’m not mistaken, you also contributed to this … mess that you’re talking about. Don’t accuse me of something when you’re also part of it’s cause.” He said in a tired tone.
Jin’s eyes blasted with anger as he positioned himself on the couch, grabbing Kazuya’s collar instantly. “Damn you, Kamenashi! What happened to you?”
“Well, what happened to you too?” Kazuya looked up at Jin with an indifferent expression, mirroring Jin’s own. Kazuya hadn’t wanted to say that, what he really wanted to say was … ‘What truly had happened to us?’ but he couldn’t voice out his feelings, his ego and pride was taking control of him.
Jin’s hold on Kazuya’s collar loosened as he stared at him in shock. “What …”
Kazuya hung his head down shamefully, knowing that the damage had been done and that it was too late to turn back. Instead of saying anything, Kazuya said nothing at all. The eerie silence was starting to make him feel uncomfortable though …
“Do you think … Maybe we should just …?”
“I think we should.” Kazuya said calmly after a minute of silence, he bit his lips as he flashed Jin a sad look. “I think it’s the best decision for us. We’ll only hurt each other more if we continue with this.”
“Is that so?”
Kazuya made the mistake to look at Jin in the eye because … to see the disappointment in those beautiful brown orbs hurts him a lot. Kazuya’s answer wasn’t the one Jin was hoping for, as it seemed.
“Jin … I …”
“You don’t have to say anything. I understand now.” Jin got up from the couch and stretched his arms. “I guess I have to move back to my parent’s house soon, huh? I’ll sleep in the guest room for now.”
Kazuya simply watched Jin’s diminishing back as he entered said room.
-
“I can’t believe this! I can’t!!!” Kazuya shouted weakly at Yamapi, not caring about the worried looks everyone was flashing him. The members of KAT-TUN, his family were there in the room as they watched in silence the scene between the two friends. “Why didn’t you just let me die? Why do you have to save me for the second time again? WHY!???” Kazuya clutched onto Yamapi’s shirt.
“Kazuya, death is not the solution to your problems. It’s …”
“SHUT UP! Shut up … Just shut up …” Kazuya covered his ears with his hands, shaking his head at the same time. Using the support from his upper body, Kazuya wants to get up from the bed, only to be stopped by Yamapi. “Kazuya, no! You’ll fall down!”
“I won’t fall, damn it!” Kazuya pushed Yamapi with all his might. Despite saying that, once his feet touched the floor and that his support was gone, Kazuya fell flat on the cold floor. He clenched his fists tightly as he lets out one agony scream. He tried to struggle when the doctor tried to inject him with something.
“No, let go of me! Let go!!!” Kazuya refused to give up even when two nurses held him by the side, allowing the doctor to complete his task. Tears ran down his face when the syringe was inserted, knowing that the drug would take it’s effect soon. “Jin …”
-
“I’m sorry we have to do this. It’s so he would not hurt himself.” The doctor explained.
Nakamaru and Kazuya’s family nodded, their hearts tore them apart as they watched Kazuya’s wrist being strapped to the bed. Countless of times Kazuya tried to get off the bed which of course, caused him to fall hard on the floor. The injuries he got then could have been worse, it could have been fatal, no one would know.
“Kazuya …” Kazuya’s mother sobbed, truly hurt to see her son in that condition. Though Kazuya was unconscious, it was honestly heartbreaking. “Why do you have to go through all this?” She whispered painfully, holding her son’s hand tightly while being held by her husband.
Nakamaru clenched his fists, deciding that it was time to tell Jin the truth.
-
His attempt to commit suicide had failed for the second time but that’s alright, there is always another time to do it, so he thought. Kazuya’s eyes fluttered open slowly, his eyes trying to adjust to the bright light in the hospital room. He tried to move his hands but was shocked when he found it to be tied to the bed’s handle.
“Wha … what is this?” Kazuya let out one small gasp, trying to free himself but to no avail. He spotted Ueda at the corner and called for him. “Tat-chan, can you help untie this?”
“I’m sorry, Kazuya. I can’t, you will only …”
“Hurt myself?” Kazuya let out a laugh. “Of course I will continue to hurt myself if you guys do not constantly try to stop me! Let me do whatever I want, please!”
“Kazuya, if Jin knew, he wouldn’t …”
“What does that guy knows? He probably is moving on with his life wherever he is now! The name Kamenashi Kazuya no longer existed in his heart! He is one fucking bastard who doesn’t even care about me anymore!” Kazuya glanced up at Ueda, tears cluttered in his eyes. “How can I be strong if he’s not here? How can I … when he’s my strength? I hate him. I hate him so much for making me this weak …”
“Kazuya …”
Kazuya turned frantic the next second, struggling against his restriction. “Let go of me! LET GOOOO!!!”
-
“You’re not going to chase after him, Kazuya? His flight leaves in two hours, you still have time to ...”
“No.” Kazuya interrupted his friend. “Jin made the decision to leave and I’m not going to stop him. I don’t want to be the reason for him to stay, and stop him from doing the thing he loves. It’s Jin’s dream and I … am willing to sacrifice because of it.”
“But Kazuya, you are Jin’s true dream!”
“Not for him, Yamapi.” Kazuya whispered painfully. “Just … just say goodbye to him for me, please?”
“Kazuya, I …”
He immediately hung up the phone, staring into the empty air.
-
“So you’ve finally come back to Japan.”
Reio made his way to the bedroom, knowing very well that the two best friends needed some private time together. The door closed shut with Reio hoping that the talk would go well.
“Well, you guys practically forced me back. What … with Nakamaru and Taguchi personally fetching me? Just so you could have a talk with me … Why can’t we speak over the phone anyway? It’s easier that way. You don’t have to waste three plane tickets then.”
“It’s something important that couldn’t be talked on the phone, Jin.”
Jin rolled his eyes, “What possibly could be that …”
“It’s about Kazuya.”
“You made me come back all the way to Japan just to talk about that person? Seriously, Pi … couldn’t you be reasonable? Man, this is stupid! I spent the many hours in the plane for nothing! You know me well enough, Pi! I don’t give a damn care about that person anymore!”
Yamapi punched Jin in a fit of anger. “You’re turning back into the heartless person you once were! I can’t take this anymore!” He grabbed Jin’s collar roughly and glared at his best friend. “For your information, the person whom you hate so much ends up on the verge of life and death, when all he did was to chase after you at the airport!”
“Wha …” Jin whispered. “You … you mean … Kazuya came?”
Yamapi nodded.
“What happened to him …?” Jin’s voice was barely a whisper. His heart hurts for some reason as he shook his friend’s shoulder violently. “Yamapi, tell me what happened! What happened to Kazuya? What happened to him?” Yamapi wanted to say something but was interrupted by the other. “Please … just please don’t tell me Kazuya died because my heart definitely won’t be able to take it …”
“Jin …”
-
Kazuya placed the phone to his ear and listened to the voice mail Jin had sent him. It didn’t hurt to just listen to Jin’s last voice message to him, did it? But by the time the message came to an end, Kazuya practically broke down. He slipped on his jacket and grabbed his keys, slamming the door of his apartment shut.
“Honestly, Kazuya … I don’t want to go. I don’t want to leave or lose you. You seemed to have lost your interest in me so I decided to go to some place far from Japan. I guess both of us are at fault … in a way to have our relationship to suffer like this. I … I may not be your boyfriend anymore but if you still love me, please don’t let go of me? If you come to the airport and ask me not to leave, then I won’t, Kazu.”
Kazuya glanced at his wrist watch, rushing past people as he entered Narita Airport. Nervousness clouded his mind, his lips formed into a small smile when he spotted Jin outside the Departure area, along with his friends, from the upper level. Kazuya made his way to the escalator, in haste he slipped and lost his control, tumbling down the escalator. The impact of the fall was so strong that Kazuya immediately lost consciousness, his body facing the floor as blood soon formed around him.
Akanishi Jin had merely missed Kazuya by a mere second.
-
The image in front of him broke Jin’s heart. He glanced at the wheelchair situated at the corner of the room before turning his gaze to the unconscious man on the bed. If Jin knew that something inevitable would happen to Kazuya, he for sure wouldn’t have sent him that voice message.
“No one … no one should be treated like this.” Jin brushed Kazuya’s cheeks lightly, traces of tears was evident on the latter’s face. Jin then untied Kazuya’s restrain, placing his arms gently underneath Kazuya, lifting him up bridal-style.
“Jin, what are you doing?” Yamapi appeared at the door of Kazuya’s hospital room, dumbfounded.
“Taking Kazuya home …”
“But Jin, Kazuya …”
“I’ve gone through this, Pi. The last place I wanted to be was the hospital, I hated it so much. I’m sure Kazuya feels the same way too. So I’m taking him to the only place where he’d feel at ease, our home.” Jin explained, holding Kazuya firmly.
Yamapi sighed, nodding his head in understanding. “Go on, I’ll handle the discharge documents.”
“Thanks, Pi.”
Jin walked out of the room, Kazuya in his arms.
-
“How could this have happened to you?” Jin whispered, staring at Kazuya who was now lying beside him on their bed. Kazuya looked pale and much thinner than the last time Jin had seen him, that he was starting to blame himself for Kazuya’s fate. If he hadn’t left Japan at all, this wouldn’t have happened.
Kazuya would still be able to walk and run, and not be paralysed from the waist down. This scenario was hard to believe, Kazuya is in the same shoe as Jin had been more than a year ago. Unlike him, Kazuya’s situation was different, not only had he lost the feel of his legs, he had lost Jin as well. Jin remembered what Yamapi had told him that Kazuya had tried to kill himself several times.
Kazuya was hurt physically and emotionally, his heart was unable to accept the fact that he had lost Jin forever. It didn’t matter that he was paralysed but what made him lost control was the thought of not having Jin by his side anymore.
“I’m back now. I won’t leave your side anymore.” Jin kissed the younger man on the forehead as he wrapped his arms around Kazuya’s thin waist. “I promise.”
-
Jin stood in front of the Departure entrance, his eyes searching for a certain person but to no avail, he was nowhere to be seen. Jin forced a smile in front of his friends, heaving out a sigh as he told them that it was time for him to leave.
“Why don’t we wait for a little while more, Jin? I’m sure Kazuya would …”
“He won’t come, Pi. I know he won’t.” Jin shook his head as he bit his lower lip. “It’s okay. I understand his reasons for not coming. I’ll be fine. You don’t have to worry about me at all. This is not the first time that I’ll be on my own.”
“Onii-chan ...”
“Take care of him for me, please Reio and Pi …?” Jin pleaded.
“You don’t have to ask us, you know.”
“Yeah.” Reio agreed.
Jin nodded, relieved. “I’ll make a move first. See you guys soon.” He then showed his passport to the officer and entered the Departure Entrance, not once did he turned back.
“I’ve lost you for real …”
-
Kazuya’s eyes fluttered open, staring at the ceiling above him, not bothering to move his hands, knowing that he wouldn’t be set free despite continuous struggling and pleadings from him. He let out a small gasp the second he realises that his hands were no longer restrained but instead there was a warm hand resting on his waist and he felt something snuggling against his body.
“Ji-“
Kazuya clamped his mouth when he noticed Jin’s appearance next to him. The latter stirred but soon fall back to slumber. Kazuya scanned the room warily, another gasp escaped his lips when he realised that he was in his room, no … their room. Kazuya shot up into a sitting position, pushing Jin’s arm away from him.
The incident hadn’t been a nightmare but Jin was here with him, that it all made it seemed like it was just a dream. But … Jin seemed so real to be a dream!
“Kazu … go back to sleep.” Jin murmured in a sleepy tone, his eyes staring up at the shocked Kazuya. “I promise that we’ll have a talk tomorrow morning but for now, let’s go back to sleep?”
Kazuya shook his head, wanting the voice that sounds so much like Jin to go away. He wants this image of him in this bedroom to disappear because it was only a dream. “You’re not real.” Kazuya choked out painfully. “You’re not real! Stop haunting me even in my dreams! Go away!!!”
“Kazu!” Jin was wide awake as he immediately pulled the shaking Kazuya into his arms, hugging him tightly. “This is not a dream, sweety. I’m here. I’m really here …” Jin cupped Kazuya’s cheeks, gazing at those beautiful orbs he truly missed.
“No, you can’t be here. You’re in …”
“I came back.” Jin explained in a firm tone. “I’m not going to leave. I’m staying for real.”
“Then it’s not a dream? It’s really you?” Kazuya whispered.
“Yes.”
Kazuya’s eyes waters, as he lunged himself onto Jin. “Jin, I was so scared … so scared …” He clutched onto Jin’s shirt for dear life. Jin whispered sweet nothings as he pulled Kazuya even closer to him, kissing the other on the head.
-
“Why are you here?”
That was the first thing that came out of Kazuya’s mouth the next morning. He couldn’t wait any longer to hear Jin’s explanation. He didn’t have that patience. Jin nodded his head, ready to explain himself to Kazuya.
“I was forced to come back to Japan by Nakamaru and Taguchi, went straight to Yamapi’s apartment and he told me the truth about you.” Kazuya opened his mouth to say something but was quickly interrupted by Jin. “Kazu, it was true that I came back not of my own will but when Yamapi told me what had happened to you, my heart literally broke! I’m not staying out of pity, if there’s a reason … it’s because I love you! It’s the same as when you wanted to take care of me despite my disability then. It’s not pity, Kazu. Please believe me …”
Kazuya nodded his head. His eyes stung as tears starts to clutter around it. “Now I know how you truly felt back then.” Kazuya whispered out, biting his lower lip as he looked down.
Jin made Kazuya face him, “The doctor said that the possibility of recovering is there, right? When you’re ready, let’s go for your therapy. It’s worth giving it a try, right?”
“Hmm.” Kazuya nodded.
“I’ll accompany you and be your support. It’s not returning of favours of what you did for me, rather it’s because I want to do so, I want to be there for you truly. You understand this, right Kazu?”
A smile lifted on Kazuya’s face for the first time in two weeks.
-
There was a small gathering to celebrate Jin’s comeback, many of their friends came. Jin was only gone for a short period of time but still, they thought that a small party would do great to both the reunited couple. Kazuya smiled and laughed as his members teased him, all of them were glad that their youngest member had returned to his old self.
“If I know Kazuya would be happier, I shouldn’t have listened to him and told you of the incident immediately. Kazuya seriously was a wreck the first day he learnt of his disability. He made us promised to not tell you, that he’ll be fine without you. His words contradict his own feelings because … he kept calling for you in his sleep. Obviously, he needs you. He just didn’t want to admit it.”
“We’re both at faults. We were at the top of our limits. If only we had talked about our problem, then … this wouldn’t have happened.” Jin shook his head. “We’ve put the past behind us, and the both of us are moving forward, together. I have faith in Kazuya and I’ll pray for his full recovery.”
“One more thing to add to that. Please don’t fight anymore, okay?” Yamapi crossed his arms.
“Well, that’s the reason we need friends by our side …” Jin grinned. He left Yamapi’s side, shoo-ing Koki off the couch as he sat next to Kazuya, placing one protective arm around his shoulder. “He’s mine, alright?”
Koki rolled his eyes. “As if everyone doesn’t know that ...”
“Well, reminding you doesn’t hurt … right, Kazu?”
Kazuya didn’t say anything. He simply leaned his head on Jin’s shoulder and closed his eyes.
-
“Kamenashi-san survived the fall. He’s currently in a stable condition, just that …”
“Just what, doctor?” Nakamaru asked, concerned for Kazuya.
“I’m afraid he is paralysed from the waist down. The impact of the fall is strong and it injured his spinal cord. In Kamenashi-san’s case, it’s a serious back injury.” The doctor explained calmly.
“What?” Kazuya’s friends and family voiced out in shock. They were thankful that Kazuya was still alive but to hear the bad news was devastating. Jin had once suffered from serious back injury, and now … Kazuya? It was too much of a shock, really.
“Can Kazuya … can he ever walk again?” Kazuya’s mother asked, hoping.
“It’s not certain but recovering in Kamenashi-san’s case is not impossible. With him attending physiotherapy, the possibility of recovering is there. Estimation wise, it’ll take him about a year to recover fully.”
-
It was the first day of Kazuya’s physiotherapy. He scanned the room nervously for Jin, relieving a sigh of relief when he spots his lover at a corner of the room. As if sensing Kazuya’s anxiety, Jin headed towards him and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder.
“You’ll do great.”
Kazuya nodded and smiled at Jin. With his lover’s support, he was able to overcome anything. He’ll get well and be able to walk and run again, hopefully. If not for himself, he wants to do it for Jin. Whatever he does, it’s for Jin.
-
KAT-TUN was once again put on indefinite hiatus. Jin willingly took the time off to take care of Kazuya while the rest of the members were given solo activities. This time, the fans were told of the concrete truth though not all had been revealed.
“Wait here. I’ll be right back.”
Kazuya nodded solemnly, holding the handle of his wheelchair real tight, suddenly feeling out of place without Jin by his side. Kazuya found the sudden urge to go to the restroom so he wheeled himself there and before he could even reached for the knob, someone rushed past him, entering the handicapped restroom. The man hit Kazuya’s wheelchair causing him to fall flat on the floor, the wheelchair toppling down with him as well.
Kazuya didn’t utter a word instead he clenched his fists in frustration, not moving a spot from his position. He didn’t even answer his phone when it rang.
“Kazuya! Oh my god …” Jin rushed towards his lover the second he found him. “Are you alright, Kazu?” He helped Kazuya to a sitting position, glancing at him worriedly.
“Jin …” Kazuya’s tone croaked, tears starts to pour down his cheeks.
“Kazu, what happened? Did anyone hurt you?” Jin placed both of his hands on Kazuya’s shoulder. He wanted to ask more but someone came out from the handicapped restroom, interrupting their moment. The man looked at them weirdly but Jin simply glared back at him. When the man was gone, Jin turned back his attention to Kazuya. “Kazu?”
“I … I just wanted to go to the restroom but … but that man kind of pushed me and it made me fall.”
“What?” Jin gritted his teeth. “That bastard! I’ll teach him a lesson …” He wanted to run after the said man but was being pulled back by Kazuya. “No, it’s alright. I don’t want to get you into trouble.” Kazuya shook his head as he flashed Jin a reassuring smile.
“Do you still need to go to the restroom?”
“No, I just want to go home …”
Jin nodded, carrying Kazuya up instantly, placing him gently on the wheelchair. No one noticed who they were due to their disguise. Even if they were spotted by paparazzis, they don’t care. They have the freedom and the right to move around freely.
-
“Why the sudden idea of a picnic?” Kazuya pops up the question, facing Jin in curiosity. He took a bite of his sandwich as he waited for Jin’s answer knowingly. “What?” Kazuya frowned when Jin only smiled at him.
“You’re too cute for words.”
“Hey, don’t try to change the subject!” A pout formed on Kazuya’s face to which Jin kissed it away resulting in the other to blush. “Jin …” Kazuya pouted again.
“Stop with your pout otherwise I’ll kiss you again.” Jin warned but was ignored by Kazuya who kept on pouting. Jin had no choice as he pushed Kazuya down gently, straddling him, bending down to kiss him on the lips. “I warned you, didn’t I?”
“I don’t mind pouting if it means you punishing me with a kiss.” Kazuya answered cheekily.
“You …” Jin kissed Kazuya once again, this time longer. When he broke apart, Jin noticed that Kazuya was crying. “Kazu, what’s wrong?”
“I’m just … happy.” Kazuya smiled despite the tears. “If not for you, I wouldn’t be able to make it …”
Jin brushed away those crystal droplets. “It’s due to your hard effort, Kazu. It might have taken you much longer than me but still, you reached your goal in the end.”
“But Jin … it’s because of you too, that I found the courage in me.”
Jin smiled. “We did it together, right?”
Kazuya nodded, wrapping his arms around Jin’s neck, gazing at him lovingly. That irresistible expression from Kazuya tempted Jin as he once again pressed his lips on the other’s, the kiss turned deeper by mere seconds.
“Let’s play catching!” Jin suggested once they parted from one another.
“I don’t want! I want you to piggyback me!”
“Eh …” Jin was surprised by Kazuya’s request but one look at the younger one’s puppy eyed expression, he knew he couldn’t turn him down. “Well, alright. Anything for you, Kazu.” He got up and bent slightly, waiting for Kazuya to climb on his back.
“You’re not going to catch me, Jin!” Kazuya chuckled as he starts to run for dear life. He shrieked in excitement when he sees Jin made a move to chase him. Kazuya laughed gleefully when Jin finally caught him, his lover pulling him close to his body.
“Who says I can’t catch you, sweety?” Jin whispered dangerously to Kazuya’s ear.
“I did?”
“Kazuya!” Jin pretended to be mad, placing his hands on his waist.
“I’ve never had that doubt, Jin. I know you will always catch me when I fall.” Kazuya whispered. That sentence from Kazuya made Jin smile as he brushed his hair full of love, cupping his cheeks before capturing Kazuya’s lips for a kiss once again.
Kazuya closed his eyes and smiled.
-
A\N: I wanted to write paralysed Kazuya no matter what, and this plotline disturbed me for days so I had to write it. When your muse is on, I don’t have a choice but to write it down. I loved how it turned out in the end. I can’t believe that I’m able to write all the angst then the ending … is so cheesy! Haha! Ah, but I’m happy that I’m able to write angst again. I’ve been writing fluff lately and really missed my angst. Hope you all loved this one-shot of mine! Comment please to make me happy!