Drunk Thoughts Retrospective (2002-2004))
I've meant to post this for awhile in response to multiple requests. The file is too lengthy for a single post so I've divided it into multiple eras.
The first, of course, is the Gboro period. Unfortunately, between losing quite a few of my backup disks at one point and a lightning strike to my computer, many quotes from this period are lost forever.
It's enough to make history cry.
***
Before I get to the actual goodies, a brief history:
Drunk Thoughts is the name of a file on my computer, always kept on the desktop for easy access.
It began in 2002 when JP, very intoxicated at the time, expressed concern over another (MUCH more sober) friend's ability to drive home by asking, "Are you drunk enough to drive in park?"
This mangled question sent me into hysterics and, being very much under the influence myself, I put it in a text file so I would remember it later. I named the file "Drunk Thought."
A couple nights later, walking across the parking lot of a club while very intoxicated again (I was in college; Don't judge.), I announced that I was starving. JP proudly announced that there was a "Roby's Arse Beef" in the car that I could have.
Upon returning home, I added this gem to the file and pluralized the file name. Thus, Drunk Thoughts was born.
I guess my bald guy deserves quite bit of credit for the birth of this phenomena. He was the turkey baster that inseminated my brain.
Yeah, Texts From Last Night totally ripped me off. I should have copyrighted that shit.
**Drunk Thoughts: The Rules**
*All that is necessary for a drunk thought to be added is for someone present to "call it," usually by laughing and yelling, "Oh shit! Drunk thought!"
*You may also call your OWN drunk thought, though if the majority of people present veto it on the basis of being uninteresting or plagiaristic, it is not added.
*You may not refuse to have your words added to the file once someone calls the drunk thought. This is a risk of speaking in my presence and must be accepted under the well-known truth that "Rachel's Word is Law."
*If a drunk thought is later found to be a quote rather than an original statement and verification is produced, it must be deleted.
*One does not have to be drunk for a thought to be considered drunk. The only requirement is that the thought be called under the above protocol.
*Except under rare circumstances, no context is provided for a thought. There has been debate over whether this should be the case but, my idea, my rules.
If someone asks about context and anyone can remember it (something that happens surprisingly frequently), it may then be verbally explained.
*In the interest of complete accuracy, a person must be present to be included. Exceptions are made for the occasional conversation via internet or phone and, of course, the transferring of material scribbled by hand on occasions where a computer is not present. Under no circumstances may a drunk thought be added from memory at a later date...This is unreliable and destroys continuity.
*Drunk Thoughts may be posted publicly or shared privately upon request (or on the basis of my whims). However, to protect the privacy of those involved, names are to be omitted unless the author/person whose proper name is given gives explicit permission to be identified.
(I claim all of mine because I have no dignity to speak of.)
If you would like to claim your own quotes, comment or message me and I will edit the post.
*Drunk Thoughts are sacred! Once a thought is there, it can only be removed if it violates one of the rules above, never on the basis of breakups, animosity, "It's not as funny now that we're sober," etc.
Of course, editing for typos is perfectly acceptable. Also, thoughts using specific names may be removed from public postings to protect privacy.
*Anyone may start their own collection of "Drunk Thoughts"...However, I do ask that its history be remembered and kept alive for posterity.
**One final note: I and many of my friends are both notoriously iconoclastic and use large amounts of profanity in informal situations. Many drunk thoughts may be offensive to any number of people.
So, the easily offended should not read them.
Everyone else please remember: Rarely were these things said in any seriousness. All ethnic, racial, religious taunts and dead baby jokes were in good humor between friends. Bitching about content will be ignored or possibly even added to the current file.
Also, I realize this post contains specific references to drug use. I think the statute of limitations is up. Either way, it's not like that shit isn't obvious anyway.
The back-story taken care of and rules established, on to the good stuff.
And remember kids, "Alcohol: It does a body good."
Speaking of which, this shirt has a High Point tattoo parlor address on the back. Does anyone know who the original owner was?
(2002-2004)
"Are you drunk enough to drive in park?" -JP
"Roby's Arse Beef" -JP
"Pulsating grapes of death." -Sarah
"Man, I don't have 90 bucks to drop on a new vibrator. What am I going to do until I get paid?" -****
"Hey! Both forms of cock are always up in the morning. I wonder if that's a coincidence." -****
"I haven't been drunk at all this week except for Monday and Wednesday."
"Dude, it's only Thursday and Tuesday you were on mescaline. So you basically just said, "Besides last night and the night before, I haven't been fucked up in a couple nights."
"Today's Thursday?" -****/Rachel
"I feel kind of queasy. I keep making myself burp though...which probably looks kind of funny."
"Yeah, especially when stuff starts coming out of your mouth.
"Dude, that's when you pass the burp-puke line."
-?/****/Rachel
"I want one of those. One of the green ones with the monkeys all over it." -?
"Thank God I'm not a Christian. Shit. That sentence didn't work out at all like I planned." -****
"Cajuns scare me. They're the one group of people that I would expect to eat their neighbors." -****
"I can't help falling asleep. I'm a necrophilliac."
"Yeah, I hear that fucking dead people is really tiring work."
"Wait. What did I just say?" -****/Rachel
"What do we have that goes with coke?"
"...Um, more coke?"
"No, like in the soda."
"Oh. Rum, then. And thanks for getting my hopes up, asshole." -****/Rachel
"****'s cleavage is for smell." -****
"He told me to get out before he kicked my ass. So I did that." -****
"That's like future perfect...but not."
"Stop trying to tensify that shit." -JP/Rachel
"Well, at least the dead babies are alright...They survived the blast." -****
"I need to be drunk to get motived and then I'm too, um....."
"Drunk?" -****/Rachel
"I'm pondering the peritagram...the drunken Buddhist peritagram." -****
"I practice abnormal methods of self stimulation." -****
"I'm sorry but your tits smell like cupcakes." -Rachel
"Is this "Fart: The Movie?" Nobody's farting."
"What the fuck is going on in here?" -****/****
"I've never sucked off a goat, but I am sure goat cum and hard liquor share a similarity in taste." -****
"Goddamn, they act like I ate a whole bag. I don't have five pounds on my body, how could I eat 5 pounds of potatoes" -****
"They say the best way to get our meat is from Cavader vending companies"
"Did he just say Cadaver?" -****/****
"Every time I see Calk I have to pick it."
"Who picks whose cock?" -?/?
"I'm getting date rape right now. I'll get to you next."-Rachel
"Sometimes when I 'm drunk and on a lot of drugs I realize why I continue to live here...Well, besides the cheap rent." -Rachel
****: Dude, is that vaseline in my shot glass?
Rachel: Yeah. Don't worry. I'll remove it when I'm done.
"I need to think more between thoughts." -****
"We all should be shot. That's my solution to everything." -?
"Uhhh... maybe that would be a good time to say, 'I have a penis!'" -?
"He deemed that demons diddled the damned." -Rachel/****
"Blenders are to Rachel what cliffs are to Lemmings." -****
"I should do fuckin' meth, and, um, whatever else I did, EVERY time I have to talk in front of people! I wasn't nervous at all AND I'm pretty sure that shit was fucking brilliant!" -****
"Don't pinch my Adams apple with your toes!" -?
"Soybeans and hemp will save the planet...."
"I put soy on your cat and it tasted good." -?/?
"Don't worry...This will make it a lot less painless." -****
"I don't know...It was "PersonX", Sarah, JP, and I sitting here. I sighed, JP said something about showing me a website and said "Spoo!" Then "PersonX" said "Spoo!" and "PersonZ" said "Spoo"...all in these high-pitched, way-too-excited voices and then he read us this whole thing about sighing and whacking to make spoo. I didn't get it."
-Rachel
"*sigh*"
"Whack!" -Used too frequently by too many people for any credit to be given
"I'm holding a pink elephant named Bernie. That says it all." -JP
"Masochism makes me a such complete optimist...Almost everything is a win-win situation." --Rachel
"Blow jobs, whip cream, naked chicks AND caution tape. I love birthdays." -JP
"You’ve been chatting with her for four hours? And both hands have been on the keyboard the WHOLE time? Wow. It MUST be love." -Rachel
"Well, you've already sucked the dog dick so what do you have to lose?" -? (From Rachel's 24th birthday party)
"Did you say lobster man? That used to be my nickname in High school..." -****
"If it wouldn't scar them for life, I'd name kids after venereal diseases, because they're pretty... not the diseases or the kids, but the names." -Rachel
"I totally want to Oi your mom!" -Rob
"Doesn't dork mean like... whale penis or something?" -****
"And their dicks look like ours!" -****
"It's no fun to be gay by yourself." -Rob
"I call bullshit. Insert yourself randomly." -JP
"It hurts like sunshine." -Rob
"I just had a moment of clarity. Heh..It's gone now."
"Fuck moments of clarity." -Rob/Rachel
"My testicles are a black hole.
You might wanna go to the clinic for that." -?/Rachel
"Sorry I humped your leg. I've been drunking" -Rob
"I majored in animal husbandry...but then they made me stop." -****
"But you have to play! We're rubbing things against other things...and PUTTING things in other things!" -Rachel/JP
"I wanna hear you sing."
"I'd have to stuff my crotch and put on tights first." -?/?
"You set my testicles on fire when you were drunk. I'm not letting you come near me with a vibrator." -Rob
"Mad Jew Syndrome" -?
"No, you have to eat the original."
"I'll keep that in mind if I ever have a 200 year old painting take over my soul." -Rachel/?
"I'm sorry I said 'Harlequin Fetus' and then touched your back with my balls." -Rob
"There's nothing that provokes commentary quite like a man grinning suspiciously and petting a sheep." -?
"I'm a black man trapped in a neo-nazi body." -?
"Christ! I'm not a fucking sex-ed course!" -Rachel
"It's not bitches; It's happy house." -?
"You're gonna drive me crazy."
"It'll be an interesting drive.
"Dude, she can't drive."
"That's what will make it so interesting."
"But she might crash into the crazy wall." -Rob/**** (Re: Rachel)
"Stop doing weird shit to my back."
*giggling snorting sound*
"Did you just spit on me?"
"Ummm....no."
"Uh...Did you just blow your nose on me?"
"Yeah."
"Oh. Okay." -Rachel/Rob
"Did you smoke my bacon?" -?
"Did you smoke crack with your mom? 'Cause you're hyper!" -****
"Fuck no! It'd be like telling my family I'm pregnant and on crack...worse, actually...at least those could quickly be solved with rehab and an abortion. Divorces take longer and are matters of public record." -Rachel (On marriage)
"Feti are funny" -Rachel
"What are we having for breakfast? SAUSAGE!!!!!" -Rob
"Food is so important" -Rachel
"Pikachu, I choose you! Mosh attack now!" -****
"She's actually doing a pretty fair imitation of my retard masturbation noise."
*makes retard masturbation noise*
"Oh my god, that sounds like my dad eating!" -Rob/****
"I want a dreidel bomb."
"Did you just say dreidel bong?"
"Nooo..Bomb. Like boom-boom." -****/Rob
"Why am I taking my pants off?......I'm not functioning well!!" -?
"That's not kinky--Unhygenic acts are not automatically kinky." -Rachel
"I love me... and I love all the other mes... in the me factory!" -?
"Why do you always get to be Jesus?" -Rachel
"I don't understand the need for a poo-ring." -?
"Jesus was a lamb. We're all lambs of God AND the children of God, which is proof that, at some point, God fucked a sheep." -****
"I've got the luck of the Jews. Er..wait, nevermind. I shouldn't brag about that." -****
"Wow, you would be the cutest retarded child ever." -?
"You hateful, hateful Hebrew." -Rachel
"I wonder if squishy means anything in Asian..." -****
"He's fucking him with a flat fork." -?
"Poultrysex." -?
"Don't bring up your issues at a social gathering--It's rude." -****
"Rob, you're not even on drugs yet. You have no excuse for showing people your genitals." -Rachel
"The pitchfork is the AK-47 of the Amish." -Rachel
"Soul semen." -?
****: Dancing in the drama section
Rachel: Yeah, I do that sometimes...But usually I have to pay a cover.
"If you drink enough, everything makes sense. If you drink more, it ceases to make sense but you don't really care anymore." -Rachel
"Wouldn't it be funny to rub red dye on your tonsils and go to the ER?-****
"Not real cappucino...Like the machine...where you push the button and it shoots shit at you. I don't really like the way it tastes but it's hot and it keeps me awake." -****
"Hey we're evolving backwards....monk has two less letters than monkey." -****
"He poked my boy bits and then called me Vanilla Ice. That's fucked up." --****
"I'm gonna tell the next drunk that hits on me that I have Projectile Sickle Cell Anemia. Then I'm gonna cough on the motherfucker."--Rachel
"Life is like pancakes. You don't question it--It just is."
"Flat and fairly bland, but not bad with enough syrup and butter?"
"Latke loving pessimist."-Rachel/****
"Nothing like a night with green apple vodka, my best friends in the whole world and two Asian chicks fucking a flute." -Rachel
***************************************************
Next installment? Whenever I feel like it.
Now, since I've finally gotten my computer un-bogged down enough so that Photoshop doesn't creep along like it's being run by hamster power, I'm going to get some actual work done.
The first, of course, is the Gboro period. Unfortunately, between losing quite a few of my backup disks at one point and a lightning strike to my computer, many quotes from this period are lost forever.
It's enough to make history cry.
***
Before I get to the actual goodies, a brief history:
Drunk Thoughts is the name of a file on my computer, always kept on the desktop for easy access.
It began in 2002 when JP, very intoxicated at the time, expressed concern over another (MUCH more sober) friend's ability to drive home by asking, "Are you drunk enough to drive in park?"
This mangled question sent me into hysterics and, being very much under the influence myself, I put it in a text file so I would remember it later. I named the file "Drunk Thought."
A couple nights later, walking across the parking lot of a club while very intoxicated again (I was in college; Don't judge.), I announced that I was starving. JP proudly announced that there was a "Roby's Arse Beef" in the car that I could have.
Upon returning home, I added this gem to the file and pluralized the file name. Thus, Drunk Thoughts was born.
I guess my bald guy deserves quite bit of credit for the birth of this phenomena. He was the turkey baster that inseminated my brain.
Yeah, Texts From Last Night totally ripped me off. I should have copyrighted that shit.
**Drunk Thoughts: The Rules**
*All that is necessary for a drunk thought to be added is for someone present to "call it," usually by laughing and yelling, "Oh shit! Drunk thought!"
*You may also call your OWN drunk thought, though if the majority of people present veto it on the basis of being uninteresting or plagiaristic, it is not added.
*You may not refuse to have your words added to the file once someone calls the drunk thought. This is a risk of speaking in my presence and must be accepted under the well-known truth that "Rachel's Word is Law."
*If a drunk thought is later found to be a quote rather than an original statement and verification is produced, it must be deleted.
*One does not have to be drunk for a thought to be considered drunk. The only requirement is that the thought be called under the above protocol.
*Except under rare circumstances, no context is provided for a thought. There has been debate over whether this should be the case but, my idea, my rules.
If someone asks about context and anyone can remember it (something that happens surprisingly frequently), it may then be verbally explained.
*In the interest of complete accuracy, a person must be present to be included. Exceptions are made for the occasional conversation via internet or phone and, of course, the transferring of material scribbled by hand on occasions where a computer is not present. Under no circumstances may a drunk thought be added from memory at a later date...This is unreliable and destroys continuity.
*Drunk Thoughts may be posted publicly or shared privately upon request (or on the basis of my whims). However, to protect the privacy of those involved, names are to be omitted unless the author/person whose proper name is given gives explicit permission to be identified.
(I claim all of mine because I have no dignity to speak of.)
If you would like to claim your own quotes, comment or message me and I will edit the post.
*Drunk Thoughts are sacred! Once a thought is there, it can only be removed if it violates one of the rules above, never on the basis of breakups, animosity, "It's not as funny now that we're sober," etc.
Of course, editing for typos is perfectly acceptable. Also, thoughts using specific names may be removed from public postings to protect privacy.
*Anyone may start their own collection of "Drunk Thoughts"...However, I do ask that its history be remembered and kept alive for posterity.
**One final note: I and many of my friends are both notoriously iconoclastic and use large amounts of profanity in informal situations. Many drunk thoughts may be offensive to any number of people.
So, the easily offended should not read them.
Everyone else please remember: Rarely were these things said in any seriousness. All ethnic, racial, religious taunts and dead baby jokes were in good humor between friends. Bitching about content will be ignored or possibly even added to the current file.
Also, I realize this post contains specific references to drug use. I think the statute of limitations is up. Either way, it's not like that shit isn't obvious anyway.
The back-story taken care of and rules established, on to the good stuff.
And remember kids, "Alcohol: It does a body good."
Speaking of which, this shirt has a High Point tattoo parlor address on the back. Does anyone know who the original owner was?
(2002-2004)
"Are you drunk enough to drive in park?" -JP
"Roby's Arse Beef" -JP
"Pulsating grapes of death." -Sarah
"Man, I don't have 90 bucks to drop on a new vibrator. What am I going to do until I get paid?" -****
"Hey! Both forms of cock are always up in the morning. I wonder if that's a coincidence." -****
"I haven't been drunk at all this week except for Monday and Wednesday."
"Dude, it's only Thursday and Tuesday you were on mescaline. So you basically just said, "Besides last night and the night before, I haven't been fucked up in a couple nights."
"Today's Thursday?" -****/Rachel
"I feel kind of queasy. I keep making myself burp though...which probably looks kind of funny."
"Yeah, especially when stuff starts coming out of your mouth.
"Dude, that's when you pass the burp-puke line."
-?/****/Rachel
"I want one of those. One of the green ones with the monkeys all over it." -?
"Thank God I'm not a Christian. Shit. That sentence didn't work out at all like I planned." -****
"Cajuns scare me. They're the one group of people that I would expect to eat their neighbors." -****
"I can't help falling asleep. I'm a necrophilliac."
"Yeah, I hear that fucking dead people is really tiring work."
"Wait. What did I just say?" -****/Rachel
"What do we have that goes with coke?"
"...Um, more coke?"
"No, like in the soda."
"Oh. Rum, then. And thanks for getting my hopes up, asshole." -****/Rachel
"****'s cleavage is for smell." -****
"He told me to get out before he kicked my ass. So I did that." -****
"That's like future perfect...but not."
"Stop trying to tensify that shit." -JP/Rachel
"Well, at least the dead babies are alright...They survived the blast." -****
"I need to be drunk to get motived and then I'm too, um....."
"Drunk?" -****/Rachel
"I'm pondering the peritagram...the drunken Buddhist peritagram." -****
"I practice abnormal methods of self stimulation." -****
"I'm sorry but your tits smell like cupcakes." -Rachel
"Is this "Fart: The Movie?" Nobody's farting."
"What the fuck is going on in here?" -****/****
"I've never sucked off a goat, but I am sure goat cum and hard liquor share a similarity in taste." -****
"Goddamn, they act like I ate a whole bag. I don't have five pounds on my body, how could I eat 5 pounds of potatoes" -****
"They say the best way to get our meat is from Cavader vending companies"
"Did he just say Cadaver?" -****/****
"Every time I see Calk I have to pick it."
"Who picks whose cock?" -?/?
"I'm getting date rape right now. I'll get to you next."-Rachel
"Sometimes when I 'm drunk and on a lot of drugs I realize why I continue to live here...Well, besides the cheap rent." -Rachel
****: Dude, is that vaseline in my shot glass?
Rachel: Yeah. Don't worry. I'll remove it when I'm done.
"I need to think more between thoughts." -****
"We all should be shot. That's my solution to everything." -?
"Uhhh... maybe that would be a good time to say, 'I have a penis!'" -?
"He deemed that demons diddled the damned." -Rachel/****
"Blenders are to Rachel what cliffs are to Lemmings." -****
"I should do fuckin' meth, and, um, whatever else I did, EVERY time I have to talk in front of people! I wasn't nervous at all AND I'm pretty sure that shit was fucking brilliant!" -****
"Don't pinch my Adams apple with your toes!" -?
"Soybeans and hemp will save the planet...."
"I put soy on your cat and it tasted good." -?/?
"Don't worry...This will make it a lot less painless." -****
"I don't know...It was "PersonX", Sarah, JP, and I sitting here. I sighed, JP said something about showing me a website and said "Spoo!" Then "PersonX" said "Spoo!" and "PersonZ" said "Spoo"...all in these high-pitched, way-too-excited voices and then he read us this whole thing about sighing and whacking to make spoo. I didn't get it."
-Rachel
"*sigh*"
"Whack!" -Used too frequently by too many people for any credit to be given
"I'm holding a pink elephant named Bernie. That says it all." -JP
"Masochism makes me a such complete optimist...Almost everything is a win-win situation." --Rachel
"Blow jobs, whip cream, naked chicks AND caution tape. I love birthdays." -JP
"You’ve been chatting with her for four hours? And both hands have been on the keyboard the WHOLE time? Wow. It MUST be love." -Rachel
"Well, you've already sucked the dog dick so what do you have to lose?" -? (From Rachel's 24th birthday party)
"Did you say lobster man? That used to be my nickname in High school..." -****
"If it wouldn't scar them for life, I'd name kids after venereal diseases, because they're pretty... not the diseases or the kids, but the names." -Rachel
"I totally want to Oi your mom!" -Rob
"Doesn't dork mean like... whale penis or something?" -****
"And their dicks look like ours!" -****
"It's no fun to be gay by yourself." -Rob
"I call bullshit. Insert yourself randomly." -JP
"It hurts like sunshine." -Rob
"I just had a moment of clarity. Heh..It's gone now."
"Fuck moments of clarity." -Rob/Rachel
"My testicles are a black hole.
You might wanna go to the clinic for that." -?/Rachel
"Sorry I humped your leg. I've been drunking" -Rob
"I majored in animal husbandry...but then they made me stop." -****
"But you have to play! We're rubbing things against other things...and PUTTING things in other things!" -Rachel/JP
"I wanna hear you sing."
"I'd have to stuff my crotch and put on tights first." -?/?
"You set my testicles on fire when you were drunk. I'm not letting you come near me with a vibrator." -Rob
"Mad Jew Syndrome" -?
"No, you have to eat the original."
"I'll keep that in mind if I ever have a 200 year old painting take over my soul." -Rachel/?
"I'm sorry I said 'Harlequin Fetus' and then touched your back with my balls." -Rob
"There's nothing that provokes commentary quite like a man grinning suspiciously and petting a sheep." -?
"I'm a black man trapped in a neo-nazi body." -?
"Christ! I'm not a fucking sex-ed course!" -Rachel
"It's not bitches; It's happy house." -?
"You're gonna drive me crazy."
"It'll be an interesting drive.
"Dude, she can't drive."
"That's what will make it so interesting."
"But she might crash into the crazy wall." -Rob/**** (Re: Rachel)
"Stop doing weird shit to my back."
*giggling snorting sound*
"Did you just spit on me?"
"Ummm....no."
"Uh...Did you just blow your nose on me?"
"Yeah."
"Oh. Okay." -Rachel/Rob
"Did you smoke my bacon?" -?
"Did you smoke crack with your mom? 'Cause you're hyper!" -****
"Fuck no! It'd be like telling my family I'm pregnant and on crack...worse, actually...at least those could quickly be solved with rehab and an abortion. Divorces take longer and are matters of public record." -Rachel (On marriage)
"Feti are funny" -Rachel
"What are we having for breakfast? SAUSAGE!!!!!" -Rob
"Food is so important" -Rachel
"Pikachu, I choose you! Mosh attack now!" -****
"She's actually doing a pretty fair imitation of my retard masturbation noise."
*makes retard masturbation noise*
"Oh my god, that sounds like my dad eating!" -Rob/****
"I want a dreidel bomb."
"Did you just say dreidel bong?"
"Nooo..Bomb. Like boom-boom." -****/Rob
"Why am I taking my pants off?......I'm not functioning well!!" -?
"That's not kinky--Unhygenic acts are not automatically kinky." -Rachel
"I love me... and I love all the other mes... in the me factory!" -?
"Why do you always get to be Jesus?" -Rachel
"I don't understand the need for a poo-ring." -?
"Jesus was a lamb. We're all lambs of God AND the children of God, which is proof that, at some point, God fucked a sheep." -****
"I've got the luck of the Jews. Er..wait, nevermind. I shouldn't brag about that." -****
"Wow, you would be the cutest retarded child ever." -?
"You hateful, hateful Hebrew." -Rachel
"I wonder if squishy means anything in Asian..." -****
"He's fucking him with a flat fork." -?
"Poultrysex." -?
"Don't bring up your issues at a social gathering--It's rude." -****
"Rob, you're not even on drugs yet. You have no excuse for showing people your genitals." -Rachel
"The pitchfork is the AK-47 of the Amish." -Rachel
"Soul semen." -?
****: Dancing in the drama section
Rachel: Yeah, I do that sometimes...But usually I have to pay a cover.
"If you drink enough, everything makes sense. If you drink more, it ceases to make sense but you don't really care anymore." -Rachel
"Wouldn't it be funny to rub red dye on your tonsils and go to the ER?-****
"Not real cappucino...Like the machine...where you push the button and it shoots shit at you. I don't really like the way it tastes but it's hot and it keeps me awake." -****
"Hey we're evolving backwards....monk has two less letters than monkey." -****
"He poked my boy bits and then called me Vanilla Ice. That's fucked up." --****
"I'm gonna tell the next drunk that hits on me that I have Projectile Sickle Cell Anemia. Then I'm gonna cough on the motherfucker."--Rachel
"Life is like pancakes. You don't question it--It just is."
"Flat and fairly bland, but not bad with enough syrup and butter?"
"Latke loving pessimist."-Rachel/****
"Nothing like a night with green apple vodka, my best friends in the whole world and two Asian chicks fucking a flute." -Rachel
***************************************************
Next installment? Whenever I feel like it.
Now, since I've finally gotten my computer un-bogged down enough so that Photoshop doesn't creep along like it's being run by hamster power, I'm going to get some actual work done.