Today at work I...

[hannahchan]

...ran a criminal background check on Santa.

Comments

[killercrapsack]

Criminal trespass... breaking and entering... animal cruelty...

[hannahchan]

Actually, not much past some speed tickets and weight-restriction violations. Turns out, Santa is a trucker. But it makes perfect sense, if you think about it.

[greyplanet]

. . .public intoxication

[hannahchan]

Ooooooh close!

[cynicalscribe]

I'm going to guess public urination too. That's a long night without a pit stop. Not like you can pee in one of the houses in which you're getting your B&E on.

[hannahchan]

Speaking as someone who just drove across country, let me say this: I'd totally support his choosing public urination over the BP gas stations along his route. Those cheerful commercials with the cartoon people enjoying BP's spotless services? Lies! Filthy, atrocious lies!