(no subject)
at this point in time, i dont know how i feel. i mean i've gone back to
god, i'm doing better in school, and i'm ignoring the mean things
people say. then why am i so not happy? its because my mom. i am so
sick and tired of her talking about how wonderful and sweet and patient
mitchell is. she always forgets to tell people how i donated half my
christmas money to tsunami victims, buy my mom expensive starbucks tea
to make her feel better, spare mitchell a few bucks when i think he may
need it, listen to her cry and complain when i'm not in the mood for
it, be pushed around by mitchell, and endure everyone paying so much
attention to mitchell. for the past 3 years all i've heard is "mitchell
looks so great! he's lost so much weight! what a handsome young man"
and then the only thing people tell me is "nope, hannah hasnt changed
one bit" and then my grandma always calls me fat and its annoying and i
mean people dont realize how much i worked to look how i do now. i mean
i know i'm no where close from being out of the "fat" stereotype, but i
look a lot better now than i have any other time in my life. and i mean
some people will tell me "well i think you look great hannah" but my
opinion matters too. i mean it may not matter to some people. but i
care about how i look. cause i'm a lot more confident than i was
before. i'm just sick of my mom talking about how incredible, amazing,
wonderful, handsome, and sweet mitchell is. cause it makes me feel like
sh*t. i'm not craving attention but if she's giving mitchell all that
credit then i think i deserve some too. thanks for listening to me vent.