(no subject)
Existence. Mistakes. Heartbreak. That which captures your attention during these last few moments of life so far. The procession into change, the fleeting moments in which you are at your worst, while also at your best. The severing of ties, the last few words. The cold road ahead. Seven days can change a life. Seven days can change many things. Seven days can dispose of innocence, Seven days can break a heart... Seven days can inspire. But mostly Seven days alone can cause you to reconsider all that you have known. The thoughts seemingly fly at random but the reality is that this week holds more truth than you'll ever know. You listen to the same songs over and over as though they are the one last lifeline to a past which left you all too soon. Explanations evade you. You sit alone in your room, speechless at that which you have lost. And yet, the worst hasn't even come. The family which you've seen nearly every day of your life remains as the last solid thing in your grip. But in a week, the physicality of that truth will disappear, and all that will be left is intermittent phone calls home when you're not "too busy." You look in the mirror and barely recognize who you've become. This face devoid of love could not be your own. This could not be the same person who saw the beauty in the tiny things merely a week ago. The same one who fell asleep outside watching for shooting stars. The one who ran outside in a storm just to feel the rain. Call it stupid, you know it's more than that. But it is the same person, the same being, and you still hold this desperate hope that you'll never stop loving. The summer is almost gone, and you can't find the words to explain how you wish time would stand still. There are no more long drives in the car, no more $2 movies, no more going for milkshakes with the windows down and counting blue cars. There isn't another time where he'll show up at your door unexpected. He's gone for good. There's not another chance to ride shopping carts down the street and dance like no one's watching. The friends you have, the ones that are millions of miles away, they're the reason you love. They're the hand that guides you, the fuel to your fire. Don't ever let go of that. Don't let it fade. The years will pass, the scars will fade, but they'll always be with you. And you know you'll be with them. Don't you ever let that fade.