it's a new year
so why not finally finish fic i've owed since last year! there...are quite a few. but, uhm. happy super incredibly belated birthday tego pero?! i...don't even know what this turned into, but uhm. yeah. i'm sorry. also, it will never stop being intimidating to write for you. just saying.
mensaa
shige, tegoshi, sho (?), news, kat-tun. 2500 words.
--shige and tegoshi become the newest members of the super elite mensa, and they try to save JE one problem at a time. or something. i honestly don't know.
When Shige gets the news in a sealed, crisp white envelope addressed to Kato Shigeaki-san in flourishing script, the first thing he does is call Koyama, who spends about thirty minutes blubbering over the phone about how proud he is of Shige and he knew Shige was meant for great things and it takes another thirty minutes for Shige to get Koyama to stop crying tears of joy long enough to hang up without feeling bad about it; the second thing he does is tell his mom and dad, who are so thrilled they drop everything and decide to go out for a celebratory dinner at his favorite restaurant; the third thing he does, once he comes back from dinner properly stuffed and satisfied, is text Sho to tell him the good news.
"Congratulations!" Sho's reply text reads ten minutes later. "I'm proud that two of my kouhai's have made it in as well!"
Shige blinks at the message. "Two?" he types, a bit confused. Because really, who else other than himself and Sakurai-kun in the jimusho could possibly qualify for Mensa?
"Yeah! Didn't you hear? Tego-chan made it in too! ♥" is the cheerful response he gets several minutes later.
The last thing Shige does before he goes to bed that night is scream indignantly at the world.
-
"Ne, Shige, isn't it great we both got in?" Tegoshi chirps the next day, all soft, lithe arms smothering Shige in a gigantic glomp first thing in the morning. Shige twitches in his left eye and shakes Tegoshi free from his back.
"How did you even qualify?" he demands with a pointed finger, eyebrows furrowed into thick straight lines. "You didn't even take the test!"
Tegoshi blinks and cocks his head to the side. Cutely. "There's a test?"
Shige twitches again and only resists the urge to scream because in the next moment Tegoshi exclaims, "Sho-chan!" and barrels toward the unsuspecting senpai, leaving a spluttering Shige in his sparkling wake. "Sho-chan!?" Shige chokes, before begrudgingly following, but only because they share a dressing room.
"Congratulations again!" Sho says, ruffling Tegoshi's hair affectionately when Shige finally makes it to NewS's room. "It must be really nice to have a fellow member in your own group." He blinks. "I wish I had that."
Tegoshi beams. "Ne, ne, Sho-chan!" Shige twitches a third time."What do we do now that we're in Mensa?"
"Ah, Tegoshi, as members of Mensa we must use our wit and intellect to help the less mentally gifted members of the company through the hardships of everyday life," Sho replies wisely, tugging an arm over Tegoshi's shoulder and staring off grandly into the rainbow sunset painted on the far wall of the dressing room.
"Why does that sound plagiarized from somewhere or someone much cooler?" Shige asks, furrowing his eyebrows. Then blinks. "And wait, that's not--"
"Oh? Sakurai-kun! What are you doing here?" Massu interrupts, surprised and delighted, when he enters the room. He has his bag slung over one arm and a brown plastic package in the other.
"Massu! Guess what! Sho-chan, Shige and I are in Mensa together!"
"Oh, congratulations!" Massu says cheerfully, smiling at each of them in turn, before blinking. "So, what's Mensa?"
"Uhm." Tegoshi furrows his eyebrows thoughtfully. "Something about how we have to help people?"
"Oh." Massu nods, oblivious to Shige's strangled sigh in the background. "So why's it called Mensa?"
"Uhm." Tegoshi purses his lips together. "Because we're men?"
"Saa," Massu replies, nodding along like he gets it. Or because Tegoshi's own nodding is highly contagious. And because Sho is beaming proudly in the background.
"Anyway, do you have anything we can help you with today?" Tegoshi continues, excitedly.
"Not really--" Massu manages to get out, before Tegoshi spots the unopened package of rice crackers in Massu's arm.
"Ah! We have to get this package open for you! Sho-chan, what should we do!?"
"Well--" Sho begins, before there is a blood-curdling-high-pitched-off-pitch scream echoing down the hallway outside. Shige winces. Massu blinks. Tegoshi tilts his head to the side. Cutely. Shige twitches.
"Ah," Sho mutters to himself. "Jun-kun woke up."
"Does he always scream when he wakes up?" Massu asks, wide-eyed with concern.
"Only when Nino places his hand in warm water." Sho mutters, shaking his head. "We just reupholstered the sofa yesterday too."
"So--" Tegoshi asks, holding up the package with shiny eyes. Sho shakes his head and smiles. "They need me, so why don't I let you guys take care of this problem for yourselves?"
"Okay Sho-chan! We won't let you down" Tegoshi cries, snaking a hand over Shige's shoulders and squeezing tightly. And when Sho shoots Shige an encouraging look, Shige can only manage a half-hearted smile in response as Sho races out of the room in breakneck speed.
"So, Shige! What do you think the best way to open this would be?" Tegoshi asks, poking Shige in the cheek with the package. Repeatedly. Despite Shige's best I don't care face. Shige sighs and finally yanks the package from his hands.
"Well obviously you should just take the red tab and pull," Shige deadpans, pointing to the instructions and the bright red arrow printed on the cover of the package, next to the tab. Tegoshi continues to simply smile at him, and Shige sighs.
"Okay see here, all you have to do is--" The red tab rips prematurely and ends up on the floor; the package remains unopened. Tegoshi stares. Massu stares.
"Uhm, it didn't open, Shige," he says helpfully. Shige takes a deep breath and tries to control the reappearing twitch in his left eye.
"Okay, then in this case all we have to do is open it from the top," he says, pinching the two ends of the package and pulling. And pulling. And pulling.
"Wow you really can't do anything, can you?" someone remarks snidely, and Shige groans because of course it's--
"Ryo-tan! When did you get here?"
"Just in time to see Shige fail. Twice. Twice in less than a minute, Shige! Aren't you so accomplished." Ryo smiles and Shige suddenly feels his right eye twitching. In sync with his left eye. The world continues to black out for quarter-second intervals at a time.
"Did you hear already too? Shige and I made it into Mensa!"
"Oh really?" Ryo asks, eying raising his eyebrows at Shige, who tries hard not to look too proud. It helps when Ryo adds, "If you're so smart why didn't you just think to use a scissor?"
Shige opens his mouth, then shuts it, then raises his chin defiantly. "There wasn't one around, okay?" he says, just as Ryo pulls a pair of scissors out of his bag.
"Okay here. Show us how it's done Mr. Mensa," he says, handing it to him. Shige frowns.
"Why are you walking around with a pair of scissors in your bag?!" he exclaims. Ryo shrugs and Massu and Tegoshi glance at him expectantly.
"Come on Shige, make Mensa proud!" he says sweetly. Shige furrows his eyebrows, looks from the package to the scissors to Ryo's smug face and Tegoshi's cheerful one and Massu's curious one, and then exclaims, "What was that! Koyama? Is that you Koyama? I think Koyama just called me, I should go help him!" Shige shoves the scissors and the package at Massu, before running out of the room.
"Ne Ryo-tan is so smart," Tegoshi says after a moment, breaking the silence. "Maybe you should join Mensa too!"
Ryo laughs. "Nah, I wouldn't make it past the test."
Tegoshi blinks. "There's a test?"
Ryo blinks, before shaking his head. "Never mind, Tego-nyan. Why don't you go help Shige? It seems like he needs all the help he can get."
"Okay!" Tegoshi chirps. "Sho-chan did say we needed to help each other!" He flounces out of the room.
Meanwhile Massu has popped open the bag of rice crackers with his hands. "Senbei?" he asks through a mouthful, offering the package to Ryo. Ryo shrugs and takes one.
-
"Hide me," Shige pants in the doorway of the cafeteria, before diving under the table Yamapi and Koyama are drinking tea at.
Koyama squeaks. "Shige, not there--what are you doing?!" When Shige finds there's not enough room under the table, he settles for the chair next to Koyama's, crouching low and looking surreptitiously over Koyama's shoulder for any sign of Tegoshi.
"Uhm?" Koyama tries again. Yamapi takes a sip of tea, nonplussed.
"Tegoshi," is all Shige says.
"Oh hey, did you hear Tegoshi also--"
"Yes," Shige hisses, and then promptly dives for Koyama's lap when Tegoshi pokes his head into the room.
"Shige, did I just hear your--ah, Koyama! Yamashita-kun! Is there anything I can help you with today?" Tegoshi asks, eyes bright and shiny when he wanders over to their table. Koyama purses his lips thoughtfully, before shaking his head.
"No, I don't think so? Want some tea?"
"Thanks!" Tegoshi grins and takes the seat opposite Shige's. "I can see you, you know," he says when Koyama hands him a steaming cup. Shige sighs and sits up and allows Koyama to pour him a cup too.
"What's this all about anyway?" Yamapi asks, finally realizing the two newcomers at the table.
"Shige and I are in Mensa, now, Yamashita-kun." Tegoshi bubbles excitedly. "It's our sworn duty to help solve the world's problems! Sho-chan said so. So if you have any problems just count on us!"
"But I don't think I have any problems," Koyama says, frowning a little. "Do you, Yamapi?"
Yamapi shrugs and shakes his head and Koyama's frown increases at the thought of being unhelpfully unhelpable. "Sorry."
Shige sighs in relief and takes a sip of his tea as Tegoshi looks crestfallen. Then Yamapi suggests, "Maybe you should go visit KAT-TUN, ne? They always seem to have problems."
Yamapi nods. Koyama blinks. Shige groans.
"Yamashita-kun is so smart!" Tegoshi gushes. "Maybe you should join Mensa too!"
"Don't you have to take a test for that?" Yamapi asks, looking dubious at the idea of yet another test so soon after graduation.
Tegoshi frowns. "What test?"
Shige's face meets the tabletop.
No one seems to notice.
-
Tegoshi manages to drag Shige--kicking and screaming and where in the world did the boy get so much strength in those puny arms anyway--into KAT-TUN's dressing room after another few cups of tea. A pillow barely misses Tegoshi's head when they make it to the door; Shige doesn't have as much luck.
"The hell," Shige starts, but stops short when he sees the state of the room. Jin is on the floor, in a fetal position, rocking back and forth; Nakamaru is sitting hunched in a corner, nervously beatboxing to himself; Kame is on the sofa, hands clamped over his ears with his eyes shut; Koki is desperately throwing pillows and sofa cushions and anything he can get his hands on at Taguchi, who manages to sidestep every one of them, while upside down on one hand, the other currently propping open a thin paperback book. Only Ueda seems to be unaware or uncaring, flipping through a magazine despite the calamity.
"Is there something we can help you with?" Tegoshi asks cheerfully, dragging Shige further into the hyena's den. Jin notices them first and dives for their feet.
"Yes. Help. Please. Make him stop," he pleads.
"Who?" Tegoshi asks, and Shige adds, "What?"
"Taguchi's been telling us riddles all day," Kame groans. "We haven't been able to get any practice done."
"Yeah, because Nakamaru got him a book of riddles for his birthday," Koki mutters darkly, having given up on throwing things to sit wearily next to the beatboxer.
"I'm sorry!" Nakamaru cries, shaking his head.
Taguchi flips right side up onto his legs, flips through the book with his thumb. "I said I'd stop if they could just answer one of them." He frowns, but in a way that doesn't really look like a frown at all. "So far they haven't been able to, and the book is almost finished."
Tegoshi considers this for a moment, before brightening. "Jaa, so if Shige and I can answer one of them, do you think you could promise to not tell anymore jokes"--"Not talk, not talk," Koki adds immediately--"Ah, okay, not talk anymore for the rest of the day and finish up practice?"
"Sure!" Taguchi says, grinning widely, despite Shige's deep deep sigh of discontent, "but I'm going to ask a really hard one then!"
"Okay!" Tegoshi agrees, and it takes Taguchi a moment of flipping before his face lights up at one in particular.
"What is more powerful than God, more evil than the devil, rich people don't need it, poor people have it and if you eat it you'll die?" Taguchi finally asks. The rest of KAT-TUN--sans Ueda and his seeming ability to block out the world--glance at Tegoshi and Shige expectantly. Shige sighs patiently.
"That's obvious isn't it?" he says, shaking his head. "It's money. Money, to some people, would be more powerful than God, it could be said to be more evil than the devil and rich people definitely don't need it."
KA-TN oohs and ahhs and nods appropriately, before Taguchi shakes his head. "Buu! That's not right."
"Some college education," Jin mutters sourly. Shige frowns and is about to retort when Tegoshi says, "Nothing!"
"What do you mean, nothing?" Shige asks, eyebrows furrowed.
"Well, if you eat nothing, you die. Poor people have nothing and rich people need nothing. Nothing is more evil than the devil, and nothing," Tegoshi explains innocently. "Nothing is more powerful than God."
Shige feels a cold shiver run up his spine as Taguchi grins. "Pin pon! Correct!"
"Yay!" Tegoshi cheers. "So you'll stop talking for the rest of the day?"
Taguchi opens his mouth, before zipping it shut with his fingers and giving him a thumbs up.
"Yay!" Jin and Koki cheer. Nakamaru sighs in relief, Kame sighs and goes to fix his hair, and Ueda finally looks up from his magazine. "What just happened?"
-
"Today was fun wasn't it, Shige?" Tegoshi chirps once they're out of KAT-TUN's dressing room. He links their arms and twines their fingers together, giggling. "We really helped a lot of people, ne? I'm glad we're in Mensa together, now we can do this again everyday for the rest of our lives! It'll be so much fun!"
Shige is about to retort that no, this wasn't fun in the least and no, they didn't really help anyone and no, there's no way in the world they're going to do this ever again and certainly not for the rest of their lives when something in Tegoshi's wide brown eyes and even wider smile makes him shudder all over again.
"Sure," Shige finds himself replying automatically, "we'll definitely help a lot of people from now on. That's why we're in Mensa after all."
"Because we are men!"
Shige sighs. "Saa."
mensaa
shige, tegoshi, sho (?), news, kat-tun. 2500 words.
--shige and tegoshi become the newest members of the super elite mensa, and they try to save JE one problem at a time. or something. i honestly don't know.
When Shige gets the news in a sealed, crisp white envelope addressed to Kato Shigeaki-san in flourishing script, the first thing he does is call Koyama, who spends about thirty minutes blubbering over the phone about how proud he is of Shige and he knew Shige was meant for great things and it takes another thirty minutes for Shige to get Koyama to stop crying tears of joy long enough to hang up without feeling bad about it; the second thing he does is tell his mom and dad, who are so thrilled they drop everything and decide to go out for a celebratory dinner at his favorite restaurant; the third thing he does, once he comes back from dinner properly stuffed and satisfied, is text Sho to tell him the good news.
"Congratulations!" Sho's reply text reads ten minutes later. "I'm proud that two of my kouhai's have made it in as well!"
Shige blinks at the message. "Two?" he types, a bit confused. Because really, who else other than himself and Sakurai-kun in the jimusho could possibly qualify for Mensa?
"Yeah! Didn't you hear? Tego-chan made it in too! ♥" is the cheerful response he gets several minutes later.
The last thing Shige does before he goes to bed that night is scream indignantly at the world.
-
"Ne, Shige, isn't it great we both got in?" Tegoshi chirps the next day, all soft, lithe arms smothering Shige in a gigantic glomp first thing in the morning. Shige twitches in his left eye and shakes Tegoshi free from his back.
"How did you even qualify?" he demands with a pointed finger, eyebrows furrowed into thick straight lines. "You didn't even take the test!"
Tegoshi blinks and cocks his head to the side. Cutely. "There's a test?"
Shige twitches again and only resists the urge to scream because in the next moment Tegoshi exclaims, "Sho-chan!" and barrels toward the unsuspecting senpai, leaving a spluttering Shige in his sparkling wake. "Sho-chan!?" Shige chokes, before begrudgingly following, but only because they share a dressing room.
"Congratulations again!" Sho says, ruffling Tegoshi's hair affectionately when Shige finally makes it to NewS's room. "It must be really nice to have a fellow member in your own group." He blinks. "I wish I had that."
Tegoshi beams. "Ne, ne, Sho-chan!" Shige twitches a third time."What do we do now that we're in Mensa?"
"Ah, Tegoshi, as members of Mensa we must use our wit and intellect to help the less mentally gifted members of the company through the hardships of everyday life," Sho replies wisely, tugging an arm over Tegoshi's shoulder and staring off grandly into the rainbow sunset painted on the far wall of the dressing room.
"Why does that sound plagiarized from somewhere or someone much cooler?" Shige asks, furrowing his eyebrows. Then blinks. "And wait, that's not--"
"Oh? Sakurai-kun! What are you doing here?" Massu interrupts, surprised and delighted, when he enters the room. He has his bag slung over one arm and a brown plastic package in the other.
"Massu! Guess what! Sho-chan, Shige and I are in Mensa together!"
"Oh, congratulations!" Massu says cheerfully, smiling at each of them in turn, before blinking. "So, what's Mensa?"
"Uhm." Tegoshi furrows his eyebrows thoughtfully. "Something about how we have to help people?"
"Oh." Massu nods, oblivious to Shige's strangled sigh in the background. "So why's it called Mensa?"
"Uhm." Tegoshi purses his lips together. "Because we're men?"
"Saa," Massu replies, nodding along like he gets it. Or because Tegoshi's own nodding is highly contagious. And because Sho is beaming proudly in the background.
"Anyway, do you have anything we can help you with today?" Tegoshi continues, excitedly.
"Not really--" Massu manages to get out, before Tegoshi spots the unopened package of rice crackers in Massu's arm.
"Ah! We have to get this package open for you! Sho-chan, what should we do!?"
"Well--" Sho begins, before there is a blood-curdling-high-pitched-off-pitch scream echoing down the hallway outside. Shige winces. Massu blinks. Tegoshi tilts his head to the side. Cutely. Shige twitches.
"Ah," Sho mutters to himself. "Jun-kun woke up."
"Does he always scream when he wakes up?" Massu asks, wide-eyed with concern.
"Only when Nino places his hand in warm water." Sho mutters, shaking his head. "We just reupholstered the sofa yesterday too."
"So--" Tegoshi asks, holding up the package with shiny eyes. Sho shakes his head and smiles. "They need me, so why don't I let you guys take care of this problem for yourselves?"
"Okay Sho-chan! We won't let you down" Tegoshi cries, snaking a hand over Shige's shoulders and squeezing tightly. And when Sho shoots Shige an encouraging look, Shige can only manage a half-hearted smile in response as Sho races out of the room in breakneck speed.
"So, Shige! What do you think the best way to open this would be?" Tegoshi asks, poking Shige in the cheek with the package. Repeatedly. Despite Shige's best I don't care face. Shige sighs and finally yanks the package from his hands.
"Well obviously you should just take the red tab and pull," Shige deadpans, pointing to the instructions and the bright red arrow printed on the cover of the package, next to the tab. Tegoshi continues to simply smile at him, and Shige sighs.
"Okay see here, all you have to do is--" The red tab rips prematurely and ends up on the floor; the package remains unopened. Tegoshi stares. Massu stares.
"Uhm, it didn't open, Shige," he says helpfully. Shige takes a deep breath and tries to control the reappearing twitch in his left eye.
"Okay, then in this case all we have to do is open it from the top," he says, pinching the two ends of the package and pulling. And pulling. And pulling.
"Wow you really can't do anything, can you?" someone remarks snidely, and Shige groans because of course it's--
"Ryo-tan! When did you get here?"
"Just in time to see Shige fail. Twice. Twice in less than a minute, Shige! Aren't you so accomplished." Ryo smiles and Shige suddenly feels his right eye twitching. In sync with his left eye. The world continues to black out for quarter-second intervals at a time.
"Did you hear already too? Shige and I made it into Mensa!"
"Oh really?" Ryo asks, eying raising his eyebrows at Shige, who tries hard not to look too proud. It helps when Ryo adds, "If you're so smart why didn't you just think to use a scissor?"
Shige opens his mouth, then shuts it, then raises his chin defiantly. "There wasn't one around, okay?" he says, just as Ryo pulls a pair of scissors out of his bag.
"Okay here. Show us how it's done Mr. Mensa," he says, handing it to him. Shige frowns.
"Why are you walking around with a pair of scissors in your bag?!" he exclaims. Ryo shrugs and Massu and Tegoshi glance at him expectantly.
"Come on Shige, make Mensa proud!" he says sweetly. Shige furrows his eyebrows, looks from the package to the scissors to Ryo's smug face and Tegoshi's cheerful one and Massu's curious one, and then exclaims, "What was that! Koyama? Is that you Koyama? I think Koyama just called me, I should go help him!" Shige shoves the scissors and the package at Massu, before running out of the room.
"Ne Ryo-tan is so smart," Tegoshi says after a moment, breaking the silence. "Maybe you should join Mensa too!"
Ryo laughs. "Nah, I wouldn't make it past the test."
Tegoshi blinks. "There's a test?"
Ryo blinks, before shaking his head. "Never mind, Tego-nyan. Why don't you go help Shige? It seems like he needs all the help he can get."
"Okay!" Tegoshi chirps. "Sho-chan did say we needed to help each other!" He flounces out of the room.
Meanwhile Massu has popped open the bag of rice crackers with his hands. "Senbei?" he asks through a mouthful, offering the package to Ryo. Ryo shrugs and takes one.
-
"Hide me," Shige pants in the doorway of the cafeteria, before diving under the table Yamapi and Koyama are drinking tea at.
Koyama squeaks. "Shige, not there--what are you doing?!" When Shige finds there's not enough room under the table, he settles for the chair next to Koyama's, crouching low and looking surreptitiously over Koyama's shoulder for any sign of Tegoshi.
"Uhm?" Koyama tries again. Yamapi takes a sip of tea, nonplussed.
"Tegoshi," is all Shige says.
"Oh hey, did you hear Tegoshi also--"
"Yes," Shige hisses, and then promptly dives for Koyama's lap when Tegoshi pokes his head into the room.
"Shige, did I just hear your--ah, Koyama! Yamashita-kun! Is there anything I can help you with today?" Tegoshi asks, eyes bright and shiny when he wanders over to their table. Koyama purses his lips thoughtfully, before shaking his head.
"No, I don't think so? Want some tea?"
"Thanks!" Tegoshi grins and takes the seat opposite Shige's. "I can see you, you know," he says when Koyama hands him a steaming cup. Shige sighs and sits up and allows Koyama to pour him a cup too.
"What's this all about anyway?" Yamapi asks, finally realizing the two newcomers at the table.
"Shige and I are in Mensa, now, Yamashita-kun." Tegoshi bubbles excitedly. "It's our sworn duty to help solve the world's problems! Sho-chan said so. So if you have any problems just count on us!"
"But I don't think I have any problems," Koyama says, frowning a little. "Do you, Yamapi?"
Yamapi shrugs and shakes his head and Koyama's frown increases at the thought of being unhelpfully unhelpable. "Sorry."
Shige sighs in relief and takes a sip of his tea as Tegoshi looks crestfallen. Then Yamapi suggests, "Maybe you should go visit KAT-TUN, ne? They always seem to have problems."
Yamapi nods. Koyama blinks. Shige groans.
"Yamashita-kun is so smart!" Tegoshi gushes. "Maybe you should join Mensa too!"
"Don't you have to take a test for that?" Yamapi asks, looking dubious at the idea of yet another test so soon after graduation.
Tegoshi frowns. "What test?"
Shige's face meets the tabletop.
No one seems to notice.
-
Tegoshi manages to drag Shige--kicking and screaming and where in the world did the boy get so much strength in those puny arms anyway--into KAT-TUN's dressing room after another few cups of tea. A pillow barely misses Tegoshi's head when they make it to the door; Shige doesn't have as much luck.
"The hell," Shige starts, but stops short when he sees the state of the room. Jin is on the floor, in a fetal position, rocking back and forth; Nakamaru is sitting hunched in a corner, nervously beatboxing to himself; Kame is on the sofa, hands clamped over his ears with his eyes shut; Koki is desperately throwing pillows and sofa cushions and anything he can get his hands on at Taguchi, who manages to sidestep every one of them, while upside down on one hand, the other currently propping open a thin paperback book. Only Ueda seems to be unaware or uncaring, flipping through a magazine despite the calamity.
"Is there something we can help you with?" Tegoshi asks cheerfully, dragging Shige further into the hyena's den. Jin notices them first and dives for their feet.
"Yes. Help. Please. Make him stop," he pleads.
"Who?" Tegoshi asks, and Shige adds, "What?"
"Taguchi's been telling us riddles all day," Kame groans. "We haven't been able to get any practice done."
"Yeah, because Nakamaru got him a book of riddles for his birthday," Koki mutters darkly, having given up on throwing things to sit wearily next to the beatboxer.
"I'm sorry!" Nakamaru cries, shaking his head.
Taguchi flips right side up onto his legs, flips through the book with his thumb. "I said I'd stop if they could just answer one of them." He frowns, but in a way that doesn't really look like a frown at all. "So far they haven't been able to, and the book is almost finished."
Tegoshi considers this for a moment, before brightening. "Jaa, so if Shige and I can answer one of them, do you think you could promise to not tell anymore jokes"--"Not talk, not talk," Koki adds immediately--"Ah, okay, not talk anymore for the rest of the day and finish up practice?"
"Sure!" Taguchi says, grinning widely, despite Shige's deep deep sigh of discontent, "but I'm going to ask a really hard one then!"
"Okay!" Tegoshi agrees, and it takes Taguchi a moment of flipping before his face lights up at one in particular.
"What is more powerful than God, more evil than the devil, rich people don't need it, poor people have it and if you eat it you'll die?" Taguchi finally asks. The rest of KAT-TUN--sans Ueda and his seeming ability to block out the world--glance at Tegoshi and Shige expectantly. Shige sighs patiently.
"That's obvious isn't it?" he says, shaking his head. "It's money. Money, to some people, would be more powerful than God, it could be said to be more evil than the devil and rich people definitely don't need it."
KA-TN oohs and ahhs and nods appropriately, before Taguchi shakes his head. "Buu! That's not right."
"Some college education," Jin mutters sourly. Shige frowns and is about to retort when Tegoshi says, "Nothing!"
"What do you mean, nothing?" Shige asks, eyebrows furrowed.
"Well, if you eat nothing, you die. Poor people have nothing and rich people need nothing. Nothing is more evil than the devil, and nothing," Tegoshi explains innocently. "Nothing is more powerful than God."
Shige feels a cold shiver run up his spine as Taguchi grins. "Pin pon! Correct!"
"Yay!" Tegoshi cheers. "So you'll stop talking for the rest of the day?"
Taguchi opens his mouth, before zipping it shut with his fingers and giving him a thumbs up.
"Yay!" Jin and Koki cheer. Nakamaru sighs in relief, Kame sighs and goes to fix his hair, and Ueda finally looks up from his magazine. "What just happened?"
-
"Today was fun wasn't it, Shige?" Tegoshi chirps once they're out of KAT-TUN's dressing room. He links their arms and twines their fingers together, giggling. "We really helped a lot of people, ne? I'm glad we're in Mensa together, now we can do this again everyday for the rest of our lives! It'll be so much fun!"
Shige is about to retort that no, this wasn't fun in the least and no, they didn't really help anyone and no, there's no way in the world they're going to do this ever again and certainly not for the rest of their lives when something in Tegoshi's wide brown eyes and even wider smile makes him shudder all over again.
"Sure," Shige finds himself replying automatically, "we'll definitely help a lot of people from now on. That's why we're in Mensa after all."
"Because we are men!"
Shige sighs. "Saa."