Listen up, Ladies!

[happycake]

"Lovers will play rape games without end, but the real thing is a frightening turn-off. It may sound unpleasant, but is worth knowing, that the surefire way a woman can resist rape, armed or not, is by suddenly emptying her bowels. Few rapists will persist after that, and it doesn't involve provocative and maybe ineffectual physical assault.

Don

Comments

[confusionisnext]

My friends and I were reading this tips for great sex book and they said that nearly all women fantasize about being raped or being forced to perform fellatio. What?

[happycake]

Haha. I think I've read similar things.

Oh man, here is a funny story (kind of):

Some guy and girl met in a rape fantasies chat room, and at some point agreed to meet, but they had never seen each other before. The deal was that he was going to "pretend break in" to her apartment, and then they were going to act out some pre-established fantasy.

So...the night he goes over there, he gets the apartment number wrong, really breaks in to some other woman's apartment, starts to pretend to try to rape her, even though she's screaming and stuff, but he thought it was just part of the act, so he doesn't stop until she kicks him in the balls.

Don't worry, he didn't really rape her or anything, it stopped way before then. But doesn't that suck for that guy? I think he got charged with breaking and entering and attempted assault or something, and he was trying to act out his fantasy in a consensual controlled environment, and that's what happened! It's like he was being punished for being into freaky things. How embarassing to

[lostfetus]

wow.
not to lighten the subject or anything, but i guess if i'm ever raped, i hope i'm not constipated.

and that last quote is angering and disturbing.

[happycake]

I thought it was funny how the guy assumes that it's so easy to take a shit whenever you want. I mean, what if you just went? I hope they teach that technique in women's self defense courses. In fact, I hope it's a course in itself: Your Bowels and You: An untapped self defense resource.

I didn't mean to anger you and I apologize for not being more sensitive about your personal attachment to weather.com.

...just kidding, that was so bad. They still make that book. I wonder at what point they went through it, like, what edition were they printing when they were finally like "Uh...some of this stuff is outdated and totally offensive, maybe we should change it?"

[lostfetus]

hahah and another thing, slightly off topic: i don't understand how it's a common thing for guys to fart and accidentally shit their pants. us girls must have tighter sphincters or something. i've never been one to poo on accident, or right on cue for that matter. takes skills i suppose.

yah don't mess with weather.com, thas mah baby's momma.

[factoflife]

Hi dahling...can we have a paper writing party or something sometime this weekend? I have no fucking idea what to write so maybe we can help each other. It's cool if you're not into it!

[happycake]

Hey Ben, I'm totally down with that. Give me a call sometime tomorrow. Although I usually get up pretty late. After 12 should be fine, if that's okay with you. I work so much better with other people!