GUESS WHAT!
I just got another email from the visa people:
Your visa has been issued.
Delivery times:
USA: Overnight
Holy crap I'm so excited and yet so relieved! I wrote a letter detailing the denial of entry to clear up any possible confusion and sent it out yesterday, but it looks like I didn't need it after all. I guess all that worry was unnecessary - it only took 5 working days instead of the 15 days they told me to expect! That means I can leave mid-month when I was originally planning to and spend time in Bristol with Timmy! Which in turn means I gotta hustle to get all my shit together. I could be leaving in less than two weeks!
So yeah, there's a lot I have to do before then. Packing commences... now.