I have way too much spare time..
If you got spare time you should read whats behind the cut.
Basically I did a contest on who could write the best story about :
a chicken, a wildermonkey, 32 dimes, and a giant naked turkey.
Here are the entries:
WINNER :
From monkey with a gun (#443576) [reply] [quoted]
Date: Monday, April 25, 01:28AM
okay..... once upon a time there was a wildermonkey, and the reason he was a wildermonkey is because he tended to like exotic drinks more than the other monkeys. (whether or not this has any relation to national lampoons van wilder is beyond me). so when he drank his exotic drinks, he only paid $3.20 for them, cuz nobody else liked them. this one time, the wildermonkey had a hankering for an exotic drink (lets say a shot of tequila, because they dont get much of that in monkey town) except he was out of money. so he went to go beg for money in /c games, except he got booted out by the mod, so he decided to look elsewhere. and just as he was about to give up, he found a chicken. and the chicken told him "i will grant you thirty-two dimes if you can tell me what i have in my hands" so the wildermonkey thought "ha what a sucker" and said "32 dimes", to which the chicken responded "hahaha no psht as if sucker!" this made the wildermonkey very sad, so he sat down and started to cry. so the chicken said "aw jeez i cant stand seeing a monkey cry. here, have these 32 dimes that i have in my hands." so the wildermonkey cried "yipee!" and ran for the bar. on his way to the bar, he bumped into a giant turkey. the turkey cried at him "hey buddy watch where you're going!" to which the wildermonkey said "hey wait! .......i have to draw you!". this made the giant turkey very happy, for as a child he did not have many friends. so the wildermonkey drew the turkey naked, and said "rose, lets never argue again" and the turkey said "what? what are you talking about?" and the wildermonkey replied "nothing.... nevermind" so when they were finished, they each went their seperate ways: the wildermonkey to the bar, and the turkey to go sell the pictures drewn buy the wildermonkey. after many minutes of perilous travel, the wildermonkey finally arrived at the bar, only to realize that it was, in fact, closed. the end
RUNNER UP:
From Raevyan (#442589) [reply] [quoted]
Date: Monday, April 25, 01:29AM
the naked turkey was in the hole... it was screeching at me.. did you know that naked turkeys screech? well, i dind't until then. How it got there is a very interesting tale...
I was feeding the chicken, did I mention i love on a farm? no? oh, that's probably because i don't... i live in a bustling cuty.. with tall buildings... the chickens.. they appeared one day, it was fated... anyhow...
I was feeding the chickens... i named them all Bob.. it's just easier... one gets loose Hey Bob! ... They all get loos... hey Bob! it works the same. But, i'm getting off track...
I had been feeding them a box of animal crackers.. i know! yum! they are lucky chickens! Well, I looked at one and it looked to be a cross betweena wildebeast and a monkey.. all i can think was wildermonkey, which make me giggle for an hour or better. By that time i was so tired I just start pulling items out of my pockets to feed the chickens... Bob... becuase i was out of my mind nad exhausted from the luaghing... the altitude didnt' help I was on top of a skyscraper in the middle of chicago.
By the time i realized my error, i had fed the chickens... Bob... 32 dimes! OMG! and they were rattling and rolling around on the ground... which was to roof... well they got near the edgge and before i could stop them a huge gust of wind blew them over the edge... they rained (for lack of a better term) down on the streets below... well Thanksgiving was fast approaching, so there was a pen full of live turkeys, completely feathered, directly below the building. the chickens were so heavy that they fell and broke several things, including denting some car roofs and busiting a hydrant. Well, the force of the water, much to my horror, complete;y de-feathered a turkey! Naked Turkey! OMG! It fled to saftey in the nearest storm drain just in time for me to come running through the doors of the building out onto the street to watch it do so... and I couldn't grab it before this happened..
so it all comes back to the beginning... a naked turkey screeching in a hole... the end... well, not really.. cuz what the hell am i gunna do now?
OTHER ENTRIES:
From System_Down (#321589) [reply] [quoted]
Date: Monday, April 25, 01:42AM
ill tell you a story on how the giant turkey became the giant naked turkey.
One day, well i should say evening, the giant turkey went to his cousins house for dinner. His cousin was a miget chicken. When the giant turkey arrived he was attacked by miget chickens new pet, a wildermonkey, which he bought for 32 dimes. And thats how the giant turkey became the giant naked turkey.
From DigitalBuddha (#368015) [reply] [quoted]
Date: Monday, April 25, 01:42AM
Ok whoever creates the most interesting story about a chicken, a wildermonkey, 32 dimes, and a giant naked turkey wins 100k. Same rules you got to send it in a message to me. Good luck!
well there once was a chicken who collected dimes. But there was a problem. The Unknown wildermonkey was also fond of collecting dimes. However both had different causes. The chicken just liked that they were shiny and ate them, but they had a far greater purpose. For it is written that in the Holy Giant Naked Turkey's last will he placed a set of 32 special dimes. So for the unsuspecting chicken he accidentaly ingested the special 32 dimes. didn't finish
From tbell31 (#466507) [reply] [quoted]
Date: Monday, April 25, 01:41AM
Tbell31 the wildermonkey got his allowence on Monday. His parents are a couple of chickens who adopted this poor orphaned wildermonkey. They gave him his usual allowance $3.20, but this time they gave it to him all in dimes. Well tbell31 took his dimes to the dime store and talked to man behind the counter. He also noticed a sign that read "we need dimes". tbell31 got so excited he dropped his dimes down on the counter and the man was so greatful he told tbell31 that he could have anything in the store.. Imagine his parents surprise when he came home with a giant naked turkey.. He asked his Chicken parents to adopt him since he didnt have any siblings.. So they thought long and hard about adopting the naked foul and said... Ummmmm sure.... why not... after all... you are the only weirdo in this story..... anyway.. thats all i could think of... :)
From Etsuko (#377741) [reply] [quoted]
Date: Monday, April 25, 01:32AM
The treetops of Etheroot shielded more than woodland creatures from the sun, sheltering more than squirrel nut hoards from the rain. Its inhabitants were left in relative peace from the outside world, most certainly, animal, plant and wildermonkey alike.
Once upon a moon, it was raining pound notes. Real, watermarked, fifty pound notes. And 32 dimes. The dimes, upon falling upon Etheroot's filthy undergrowth, immediately took root and sprouted into dime trees, which as we all know are the wildermonkey's favourite food.
This very moon, there was a great famine, being winter and the denizens of Etheroot being heavily reliant upon agricultural produce. The wildermonkeys howled in their sleep, and for many nights there was no piece in the wood. Finally, Mr. Chicken, their mayor, mustered the meat to go up to the wildermonkey dwelling and demand he be silent.
"Mr. Monkey W. Ilder," he began, sternly. "It has come to my understanding via Penguin Air that a giant turkey has been sharing your bed at night, causing you to make extremely decadent noises of pleasure. We, the citizens of the undergrowth, beg you to keep your volume, and your population, down so that our dime trees may be left in peace."
"My dear Mayor Chicken," the wildermonkey began, just as a giant naked turkey burst into the room, breathing heavily. "You are heavily mistaken. I do not know any turkeys. I have never been with any turkeys. And most certainly, I will not be in a sensationalised media story by flying penguins supposedly crashing in on my private turkey pad! Who'd want to listen to such a stupid story, anyway?"
From Yukimeister (#343096) [reply] [quoted]
Date: Monday, April 25, 01:27AM
man walks into a bar with a wildermonkey, monkey grabs a dime and swallows it... does this with 32 other times and finally swallows a chicken, guy says "sorry my monkey was hungry", next day guy and monkey walk back in, monkey eyes a giant naked turkey and rubs his ass on it, bartender asks what's he doing... guys says "after the chicken he measures now"
Basically I did a contest on who could write the best story about :
a chicken, a wildermonkey, 32 dimes, and a giant naked turkey.
Here are the entries:
WINNER :
From monkey with a gun (#443576) [reply] [quoted]
Date: Monday, April 25, 01:28AM
okay..... once upon a time there was a wildermonkey, and the reason he was a wildermonkey is because he tended to like exotic drinks more than the other monkeys. (whether or not this has any relation to national lampoons van wilder is beyond me). so when he drank his exotic drinks, he only paid $3.20 for them, cuz nobody else liked them. this one time, the wildermonkey had a hankering for an exotic drink (lets say a shot of tequila, because they dont get much of that in monkey town) except he was out of money. so he went to go beg for money in /c games, except he got booted out by the mod, so he decided to look elsewhere. and just as he was about to give up, he found a chicken. and the chicken told him "i will grant you thirty-two dimes if you can tell me what i have in my hands" so the wildermonkey thought "ha what a sucker" and said "32 dimes", to which the chicken responded "hahaha no psht as if sucker!" this made the wildermonkey very sad, so he sat down and started to cry. so the chicken said "aw jeez i cant stand seeing a monkey cry. here, have these 32 dimes that i have in my hands." so the wildermonkey cried "yipee!" and ran for the bar. on his way to the bar, he bumped into a giant turkey. the turkey cried at him "hey buddy watch where you're going!" to which the wildermonkey said "hey wait! .......i have to draw you!". this made the giant turkey very happy, for as a child he did not have many friends. so the wildermonkey drew the turkey naked, and said "rose, lets never argue again" and the turkey said "what? what are you talking about?" and the wildermonkey replied "nothing.... nevermind" so when they were finished, they each went their seperate ways: the wildermonkey to the bar, and the turkey to go sell the pictures drewn buy the wildermonkey. after many minutes of perilous travel, the wildermonkey finally arrived at the bar, only to realize that it was, in fact, closed. the end
RUNNER UP:
From Raevyan (#442589) [reply] [quoted]
Date: Monday, April 25, 01:29AM
the naked turkey was in the hole... it was screeching at me.. did you know that naked turkeys screech? well, i dind't until then. How it got there is a very interesting tale...
I was feeding the chicken, did I mention i love on a farm? no? oh, that's probably because i don't... i live in a bustling cuty.. with tall buildings... the chickens.. they appeared one day, it was fated... anyhow...
I was feeding the chickens... i named them all Bob.. it's just easier... one gets loose Hey Bob! ... They all get loos... hey Bob! it works the same. But, i'm getting off track...
I had been feeding them a box of animal crackers.. i know! yum! they are lucky chickens! Well, I looked at one and it looked to be a cross betweena wildebeast and a monkey.. all i can think was wildermonkey, which make me giggle for an hour or better. By that time i was so tired I just start pulling items out of my pockets to feed the chickens... Bob... becuase i was out of my mind nad exhausted from the luaghing... the altitude didnt' help I was on top of a skyscraper in the middle of chicago.
By the time i realized my error, i had fed the chickens... Bob... 32 dimes! OMG! and they were rattling and rolling around on the ground... which was to roof... well they got near the edgge and before i could stop them a huge gust of wind blew them over the edge... they rained (for lack of a better term) down on the streets below... well Thanksgiving was fast approaching, so there was a pen full of live turkeys, completely feathered, directly below the building. the chickens were so heavy that they fell and broke several things, including denting some car roofs and busiting a hydrant. Well, the force of the water, much to my horror, complete;y de-feathered a turkey! Naked Turkey! OMG! It fled to saftey in the nearest storm drain just in time for me to come running through the doors of the building out onto the street to watch it do so... and I couldn't grab it before this happened..
so it all comes back to the beginning... a naked turkey screeching in a hole... the end... well, not really.. cuz what the hell am i gunna do now?
OTHER ENTRIES:
From System_Down (#321589) [reply] [quoted]
Date: Monday, April 25, 01:42AM
ill tell you a story on how the giant turkey became the giant naked turkey.
One day, well i should say evening, the giant turkey went to his cousins house for dinner. His cousin was a miget chicken. When the giant turkey arrived he was attacked by miget chickens new pet, a wildermonkey, which he bought for 32 dimes. And thats how the giant turkey became the giant naked turkey.
From DigitalBuddha (#368015) [reply] [quoted]
Date: Monday, April 25, 01:42AM
Ok whoever creates the most interesting story about a chicken, a wildermonkey, 32 dimes, and a giant naked turkey wins 100k. Same rules you got to send it in a message to me. Good luck!
well there once was a chicken who collected dimes. But there was a problem. The Unknown wildermonkey was also fond of collecting dimes. However both had different causes. The chicken just liked that they were shiny and ate them, but they had a far greater purpose. For it is written that in the Holy Giant Naked Turkey's last will he placed a set of 32 special dimes. So for the unsuspecting chicken he accidentaly ingested the special 32 dimes. didn't finish
From tbell31 (#466507) [reply] [quoted]
Date: Monday, April 25, 01:41AM
Tbell31 the wildermonkey got his allowence on Monday. His parents are a couple of chickens who adopted this poor orphaned wildermonkey. They gave him his usual allowance $3.20, but this time they gave it to him all in dimes. Well tbell31 took his dimes to the dime store and talked to man behind the counter. He also noticed a sign that read "we need dimes". tbell31 got so excited he dropped his dimes down on the counter and the man was so greatful he told tbell31 that he could have anything in the store.. Imagine his parents surprise when he came home with a giant naked turkey.. He asked his Chicken parents to adopt him since he didnt have any siblings.. So they thought long and hard about adopting the naked foul and said... Ummmmm sure.... why not... after all... you are the only weirdo in this story..... anyway.. thats all i could think of... :)
From Etsuko (#377741) [reply] [quoted]
Date: Monday, April 25, 01:32AM
The treetops of Etheroot shielded more than woodland creatures from the sun, sheltering more than squirrel nut hoards from the rain. Its inhabitants were left in relative peace from the outside world, most certainly, animal, plant and wildermonkey alike.
Once upon a moon, it was raining pound notes. Real, watermarked, fifty pound notes. And 32 dimes. The dimes, upon falling upon Etheroot's filthy undergrowth, immediately took root and sprouted into dime trees, which as we all know are the wildermonkey's favourite food.
This very moon, there was a great famine, being winter and the denizens of Etheroot being heavily reliant upon agricultural produce. The wildermonkeys howled in their sleep, and for many nights there was no piece in the wood. Finally, Mr. Chicken, their mayor, mustered the meat to go up to the wildermonkey dwelling and demand he be silent.
"Mr. Monkey W. Ilder," he began, sternly. "It has come to my understanding via Penguin Air that a giant turkey has been sharing your bed at night, causing you to make extremely decadent noises of pleasure. We, the citizens of the undergrowth, beg you to keep your volume, and your population, down so that our dime trees may be left in peace."
"My dear Mayor Chicken," the wildermonkey began, just as a giant naked turkey burst into the room, breathing heavily. "You are heavily mistaken. I do not know any turkeys. I have never been with any turkeys. And most certainly, I will not be in a sensationalised media story by flying penguins supposedly crashing in on my private turkey pad! Who'd want to listen to such a stupid story, anyway?"
From Yukimeister (#343096) [reply] [quoted]
Date: Monday, April 25, 01:27AM
man walks into a bar with a wildermonkey, monkey grabs a dime and swallows it... does this with 32 other times and finally swallows a chicken, guy says "sorry my monkey was hungry", next day guy and monkey walk back in, monkey eyes a giant naked turkey and rubs his ass on it, bartender asks what's he doing... guys says "after the chicken he measures now"