Funny Story contest in some crap.
This was a contest in this game called Kingdom of Loathing for 300k in the game where people who msged the funnyest story would win! Entries behind the cut....
From JamesFlame (#469895) [reply] [quoted]
Date: Monday, April 25, 01:09AM
this one time, I was in a car on the way to North Carolina, to visit my sister for Thanksgiving. We were in a really old car, and the radiator was bad, so about four hundred miles from her house, we stop at an Auto Zone, cause the car keeps getting hot, and replace the fan. Twenty miles later, we have to call a tow truck, to two us to the next town, 100 miles south. Only, tow trucks only let 2 people ride in the cab, so I had to ride in the back of the car, on the hitch, hidng under blankets so the tow truck driver wouldn't know. We get to the next town, and replace something else on the car, drive fifty miles, and it breaks again. We stop at a rest stop with a taco bell, and we eat what is now dinner. Again we call the two truck, and I have to ride in the back, another hundred miles over bumpy Appalacian roads. Well, about an hour into this ride, I'm smoking my pipe, and it's not so bad, but then I realize something, that mexican food wasn't the best it could've been, and my body was deciding it'd be best to get rid of it, only, I'm in the back of the car, about forty miles from where were stopping, hanging from a hook on the freeway. So i wait, and I wait, and I wait, a half hour later, I can't wait any more. The tow truck stops, and I jump out of the car. Only, as I do so the red light at the intersection turns green, and all the cars start moving again, and honking their horns. Distracted and confused, I run across the street, and *^$% on myself. Panicing, I run to the gas station, and find a hose behind it, I strip in front of a busy highway, and basically shower my bottom half. Now I'm lost in NC, soaking wet, with no money...
----- NON WINNERS -----
From Dannyalcatraz (#67484) [reply] [quoted]
Date: Monday, April 25, 01:07AM
In college, I used to go on late night taco runs with this woman I knew. She always got the same thing, a glass of water, 3 flour tortillas, and butter, for 38 cents, while I'd order a MEAL.
After doing this every 3 nights for a month or so, the guy behind the counter couldn't stand it anymore. She put in her order, and he said (in thick Mexican accent) "Ay, chicaaaa! Quit this looooser! I would feed you, Mami!"
Apparently, he thought we were dating and I was a cheapskate.
When I tried to correct him, he told me to shut up.
From monkey with a gun (#443576) [reply] [quoted]
Date: Monday, April 25, 01:04AM
this one time, at band camp, well not really, more like in band class but i just wanted to rip off american pie. so anyway, in band class, my friend the percussionist couldnt find the triangle, so i was helping him look. i said "hey, it says that theres a triangle in the music" and he said "i know but i cant find it" and i said "its right there in front of you" and he said "oh. OHHHHH!!!" and then we laughed. it was funny. and everybody learned a valuable lesson. the end
From DigitalBuddha (#368015) [reply] [quoted]
Date: Monday, April 25, 01:04AM
well, i was going to talk to one of my friends who happens to be a girl when my friend pushed me into her and i ended up on her... lets just say the way i wouldnt have wanted to... anyway my mom came to pick me up and well... it wasnt a pretty site.
From Yeah_You (#361132) [reply] [quoted]
Date: Monday, April 25, 01:03AM
Funny Story
I have a friend who's really stupid over the summer I dyed my hair red and I didn't tell anyone about it. so one day she called me to go do something, and when I saw her she said, "Oh, you dyed your hair!'" Then she asked me what color.
From Middion (#449740) [reply] [quoted]
Date: Monday, April 25, 01:02AM
Ok this is my best..
I am a police officer in PA.
I was on patrol running speed one day
when this guy came thru at about 80 mph
in a 40 mph zone. I pulled out and it took a while to catch him. When I finally did,he still did not stop. it was about 3 miles later when he pulled over. By then I was kind of pissed.
I walked up to the car and asked him why he did not stop for me as soon as he saw me behind him...
He then goes on to tell me that his wife left him for a police officer and he thought I was bringing her back...
Hope that is a good one for you...
You acquire an item: ice-cold beer
From rickyfingers (#253926) [reply] [quoted]
Date: Monday, April 25, 01:02AM
Once i saw a girl tie her pussy in a knot. I was at a friends house with my wife. We were there maybe ten minutes then this girl from down the hall showed up. I think she was a stripper. She walks in and says that she can tie her pussy in a knot. We all say, "Show us!" She drops her drawers and what do you know. She can! I think I can die a happy man now.
From Krazy_KoL (#405446) [reply] [quoted]
Date: Monday, April 25, 01:00AM
Meat You gain 204,500 Meat.
From The Master of All Turtle (#350891) [reply] [quoted]
Date: Monday, April 25, 01:00AM
this is not a story i made up...a man in my town was killed by a turkey...he was riding his motorcycle down the highway, goin about 60, and a turkey flew out over the road and hit him. he sustained massive blunt force trauma from the bird and the road (he wasnt wearing a helmet) and died. kinda like, zomg! a turkey! *whack* *dead*
From Weird Al Yankervick (#417474) [reply] [quoted]
Date: Monday, April 25, 12:59AM
The funniest story Smile
From JamesFlame (#469895) [reply] [quoted]
Date: Monday, April 25, 01:09AM
this one time, I was in a car on the way to North Carolina, to visit my sister for Thanksgiving. We were in a really old car, and the radiator was bad, so about four hundred miles from her house, we stop at an Auto Zone, cause the car keeps getting hot, and replace the fan. Twenty miles later, we have to call a tow truck, to two us to the next town, 100 miles south. Only, tow trucks only let 2 people ride in the cab, so I had to ride in the back of the car, on the hitch, hidng under blankets so the tow truck driver wouldn't know. We get to the next town, and replace something else on the car, drive fifty miles, and it breaks again. We stop at a rest stop with a taco bell, and we eat what is now dinner. Again we call the two truck, and I have to ride in the back, another hundred miles over bumpy Appalacian roads. Well, about an hour into this ride, I'm smoking my pipe, and it's not so bad, but then I realize something, that mexican food wasn't the best it could've been, and my body was deciding it'd be best to get rid of it, only, I'm in the back of the car, about forty miles from where were stopping, hanging from a hook on the freeway. So i wait, and I wait, and I wait, a half hour later, I can't wait any more. The tow truck stops, and I jump out of the car. Only, as I do so the red light at the intersection turns green, and all the cars start moving again, and honking their horns. Distracted and confused, I run across the street, and *^$% on myself. Panicing, I run to the gas station, and find a hose behind it, I strip in front of a busy highway, and basically shower my bottom half. Now I'm lost in NC, soaking wet, with no money...
----- NON WINNERS -----
From Dannyalcatraz (#67484) [reply] [quoted]
Date: Monday, April 25, 01:07AM
In college, I used to go on late night taco runs with this woman I knew. She always got the same thing, a glass of water, 3 flour tortillas, and butter, for 38 cents, while I'd order a MEAL.
After doing this every 3 nights for a month or so, the guy behind the counter couldn't stand it anymore. She put in her order, and he said (in thick Mexican accent) "Ay, chicaaaa! Quit this looooser! I would feed you, Mami!"
Apparently, he thought we were dating and I was a cheapskate.
When I tried to correct him, he told me to shut up.
From monkey with a gun (#443576) [reply] [quoted]
Date: Monday, April 25, 01:04AM
this one time, at band camp, well not really, more like in band class but i just wanted to rip off american pie. so anyway, in band class, my friend the percussionist couldnt find the triangle, so i was helping him look. i said "hey, it says that theres a triangle in the music" and he said "i know but i cant find it" and i said "its right there in front of you" and he said "oh. OHHHHH!!!" and then we laughed. it was funny. and everybody learned a valuable lesson. the end
From DigitalBuddha (#368015) [reply] [quoted]
Date: Monday, April 25, 01:04AM
well, i was going to talk to one of my friends who happens to be a girl when my friend pushed me into her and i ended up on her... lets just say the way i wouldnt have wanted to... anyway my mom came to pick me up and well... it wasnt a pretty site.
From Yeah_You (#361132) [reply] [quoted]
Date: Monday, April 25, 01:03AM
Funny Story
I have a friend who's really stupid over the summer I dyed my hair red and I didn't tell anyone about it. so one day she called me to go do something, and when I saw her she said, "Oh, you dyed your hair!'" Then she asked me what color.
From Middion (#449740) [reply] [quoted]
Date: Monday, April 25, 01:02AM
Ok this is my best..
I am a police officer in PA.
I was on patrol running speed one day
when this guy came thru at about 80 mph
in a 40 mph zone. I pulled out and it took a while to catch him. When I finally did,he still did not stop. it was about 3 miles later when he pulled over. By then I was kind of pissed.
I walked up to the car and asked him why he did not stop for me as soon as he saw me behind him...
He then goes on to tell me that his wife left him for a police officer and he thought I was bringing her back...
Hope that is a good one for you...
You acquire an item: ice-cold beer
From rickyfingers (#253926) [reply] [quoted]
Date: Monday, April 25, 01:02AM
Once i saw a girl tie her pussy in a knot. I was at a friends house with my wife. We were there maybe ten minutes then this girl from down the hall showed up. I think she was a stripper. She walks in and says that she can tie her pussy in a knot. We all say, "Show us!" She drops her drawers and what do you know. She can! I think I can die a happy man now.
From Krazy_KoL (#405446) [reply] [quoted]
Date: Monday, April 25, 01:00AM
Meat You gain 204,500 Meat.
From The Master of All Turtle (#350891) [reply] [quoted]
Date: Monday, April 25, 01:00AM
this is not a story i made up...a man in my town was killed by a turkey...he was riding his motorcycle down the highway, goin about 60, and a turkey flew out over the road and hit him. he sustained massive blunt force trauma from the bird and the road (he wasnt wearing a helmet) and died. kinda like, zomg! a turkey! *whack* *dead*
From Weird Al Yankervick (#417474) [reply] [quoted]
Date: Monday, April 25, 12:59AM
The funniest story Smile