The Hand that Feeds You, Needs You - Looking for Gabriel (Part 2)
Seth cried loudly. He knew something was wrong but he never found his brother.
His parents arrived and consoled him.
His parents read the letter and cried.
The ranger came in and spoke to Seth and his Parents. He told them that the camp site where injured woman was demolished by a rock slide during the night. He said that a rescue team had found the woman’s remains, her husband remains, and Gabriel’s remains.
Sometime, later, Seth and his parent went to ID the remains. It was hard for Seth to see Gabriel’s dead body. The examiners pull Seth aside and gave him another letter; it was Gabriel’s as Seth recognized his handwriting.
Dear Seth
Please don’t be mad at me. I never intended to hurt you, mom or dad.
I’m sorry that I didn’t come clean to you of why I left. Mom and Dad and I had a big fight. You know how stubborn and strict they are and can be hard to reason with. They were seriously upset at me. Dad and I had bad words with each other. It didn’t look good. It’s not your fault Seth and I mean it!!
After I ran away; I had a lot of time to think during the hike through the mountains. I thought I could live up here and maybe one day you would come and find me. I would be here for you and I would explain everything.
I must assume that you have found this letter on my body. I must assume that I didn’t make it.
So I must tell you why I left. I know you and I shared everything together from cloths, toothbrush, xbox, food, friends, and bed. But what I didn’t share with you was who I really was.
I wanted to be sure that I could accept myself before I could tell you or anybody. My best friend Jake told me that my secret was killing me. Jake convinced me that I had to tell mom and dad and then by the time you got home I was going to tell you too
It didn’t turn out that way. So I ran away.
I made it pass the hard part of the trail. But I spotted this woman and man. They were in trouble. I save the woman but she had some injuries. I tried to save the husband and but I failed. I injured myself during my hike. I sustain more injuries trying to save her husband. I barely got back to the woman. The woman and I tried to survive by combing her family camping supplies with mine. I had our survival guide. I found out from the woman that she was pregnant. She was going to tell her husband at the lake but that didn’t happen either. She told me that we had to deliver the baby together when it comes time. She spends a lot of time with me teaching me all the things she knows as a nurse in delivering a baby. I had to learn fast during those weeks. You be proud of me Seth. I delivered a baby into this world. His name is Gabe. I call him Little Gabe. He so cute and little; I got hold him, feed him, change him, and keep him warm.
But Time was running out. Our supplies were dwindling. I wasn’t getting any better and neither was the woman. I decided to take the chance to get help. I figured without me at the campsite. She could survive a bit longer than with me there. I figured with the survival guide I could make back for help. I also figured that the ranger would contact mom and dad and you if this rescue attempt should work.
It looks like my idea failed miserably. I’m sorry my brother.
I was going to tell you my secret when I saw you again. But I guess that was not going to happen.
So I guess I have to tell you in this letter.
Seth turned to the final page of the letter and read Gabriel secret.
Ok Seth,
I presume you’ve decided to read this final page.
So here goes.
I AM GAY.
I know in our religion it’s a sin. But I wrestled with myself for last two years since I learn that I didn’t like girls. I tried to follow our religion but it wasn’t working.
I had to stop thinking about our religion and started to think of myself. I had to start finding myself and then I met Jake. He’s GAY and he’s out. We fell in love and we did stuff. Dad suspected something but wasn’t really sure if I was GAY. He thought we were experimenting and going through a phase.
Jake and I went to mom and dad. We told them of our relationship. I told them I was GAY.
Dad and mom got real mad. Dad started to attack Jake. I tried to stop Dad. Jake ran away to his home. Dad and I fought till I knew Jake was safe and I stopped fighting. Dad kept on beating on me and mom stopped him before he killed me. Dad broke my spirit. Mom and dad let me down.
Before I left, I had taken all of my camping gear; I was going to write you a letter but I hurt badly all over. So I just left.
I am so sorry my brother if I failed you. I am so f*ck sorry.
Things just didn’t turn out.
Please remember me as I always was to you; your loving brother.
Gabriel
Seth had seriously breakdown; he couldn’t stop crying; the letter had seriously upset his sanity. The doctor had to sedate him. His mom and dad found the letter and read it. They broke down and cried after finding out the whole truth of this mess.
Seth, Mom, and Dad went to counseling. Seth took care of Little Gabe and decided to be his guardian with the help of Mom and Dad.
A few weeks later Seth needed to share with his mom and dad his secret with the help of the counselor.
“Mom and Dad … I am sorry that you hated my brother for being Gay. I love Gabriel. Even if he told me he was Gay. I still love him as my brother. I would support him knowing that he love me and you. He’s a good person; Always.
I am sorry; I didn’t tell you my intension of going to find Gabriel. But I knew if I told you … you would have stopped me and I would forever lose my dear brother Gabriel. When I found Sarah, I knew I had to finish what Gabriel had started. I had to, mom, for Gabriel sake.
A long time ago, Gabriel and Jake taught me this “The hands that feed you, need you”
I never understood it until I met little Gabe. God has been helping Sarah and Little Gabe with survival and they needed me to continue what Gabriel started. I need Sarah and Little Gabe to help me learn more about Gabriel. Gabriel was always there for me. I needed to be there for Gabriel. By saving, Little Gabe, I saved Gabriel, my identical twin brother. He is smiling right now in knowing I would never ever let him down.
Mom and Dad; my secret that I wanted to tell Gabriel if I had found him was …
I AM GAY.”
Mom and dad cried and I cried. We couldn’t fight the issue or anything else. We lost Gabriel and I could see in their eyes their regret for that lost.
Jake and I decided to be a couple and take care of Little Gabe. We felt that this was our way to being close to my brother. We loved him and eventually we loved each other. Mom and Dad accepted us and all our friends that were gay, straight, bi, or even questioning.
I know Gabriel will be proud that things did turn out.
More than he ever expected.
GOD’s Alive and Well (Billy Gilman)
When I see the stars hang in the sky, oh
When I watch a bird spread its wings and fly
And each time I hear the wind blow through the trees, oh
With every breath of air that I breath
All the things I can't see
Still inside I believe
In a baby's laugh
In a mother's eyes
Little miracles around us
Every day of our lives
The way the sun lights up the dark
The hope that I feel in my heart
And as far as I can tell
God's alive and well
Yeah, God's alive and well
Just like the Earth cradles the moon, oh
How that far-away sun still makes the flowers bloom
And the joy only heaven can bring to a soul, oh
If trouble comes, I am safe in the hands
'Cause I know there's a plan
My heart understands
In a baby's laugh
In a mother's eye's
Little miracles around us
Every day of our lives
The way the sun lights up the dark
The hope that I feel in my heart
And as far as I can tell
God's alive and well
Yeah, God's alive and well
Call it a little bit of luck
Or just a simple twist of fate
Oh, we get swept up in the arms
You can feel it every day
In a baby's laugh
In a mother's eyes
Little miracles around us
Every day of our lives
The way the sun lights up the dark
The hope that I feel in my heart
And as far as I can tell
Yes, as far as I can tell
God's alive and well
Yeah, God's alive and well
As far as I can tell
God's alive and well