What It Means (2/2)
Title: What It Means
Pairing: Aiba/Nino (With a sprinkle of Sho)
Rating: Pg-13
If anything in this world was unbelievably ignorant, Aiba would definitely named Nino as one of the candidate. He always finds Nino cutely cold, cutely ignorant or an enigma wrapped with cuteness-but most of the time, definitely cute. Because Nino was always annoyed with his presence, Aiba could at least tell that without asking. But ever since that “making-me-incompetence” incidence, he had never asked Aiba to get out of his restaurant. Aiba was there most of the time and he knew that aside from home, that was the only place that he had felt most welcomed.
“It’s banana!” Aiba protested. His words were beginning to get slurry.
“Isn’t that a bit subjective?” Nino said indifferently. “And that’s the last round for you”
“Banana is yellow and it also bends!” Aiba laughed to whatever was funny. “Bends” He said and looked at Nino with his eyes unfocused. “I feel like a banana”
Nino snorted to whatever was funny, before he took away Aiba’s glass and threw the rest of his drink into the sink. “You should go home”
“Home?” Aiba wondered. “But that’s too far away. Five hours away!” He shook his head and put his head on the counter. “I can just stay here, can’t I?”
“No, I’m closing. Come on, it’s a five minute walk. You’ll be fine”
“No…If I can’t go back home, then I just want to stay here…”
Idiot. Nino thought. He really is.
Honestly, Nino couldn’t accept it. Aiba, to him, was like the ‘Welcoming Cat’ you put near any door or windows or even on top of your restaurant’s fridge to ‘attract’ the customers. But Nino never developed that kind of superstitions so he didn’t put any cat or keep any. He believes that his cooking alone can attract customers. But then Aiba came, all bubbly and smiley. He was bright and welcoming.
Just like a cat doll, with his left paw eagerly rose.
Aiba was a customer half the time but a cat doll when fully unleashed. He laughed a lot and asked questions to Nino frequently. Mostly just stupid and trivial questions that made the frowns on Nino’s forehead disappear. He noticed that ever since Aiba had been around, there were more people walking in, eating in the restaurant instead of taking the food home.
Nino envied him. How could he be living in someone else’s life yet be so carefree?
Nino sighed and threw a blanket on Aiba, before he spread a futon and threw himself at it.
“Where are we?” Nino heard Aiba asked even though he sounded half asleep.
“At my house” Nino answered quietly.
“Are we finally friends now?”
Maybe Nino meant to say, but didn’t eventually.
****
‘Getting too attached’ was the words that kept repeating in Aiba’s head every time he walked into Nino’s restaurant. Usually he would spend ten hours during his weekends just to travel back and forth to his hometown-which only resulting in disapproval from his mom, because he would look tired most of the time. Aiba had stopped doing that but came to the restaurant instead; which Nino took as an insult-at first.
“I’m not here to entertain you, I’m here to work” Nino frowned. “This is a bigger city then you think, go wander around somewhere else”
But I like it here, Aiba thought. “That’s too troublesome” he sugar-coated it. “I’m fine here” Just the right amount of sugar so that Nino wouldn’t think he’s a creep.
“Suit yourself.” Nino said after a few minute more of futile arguments. “Just stop playing with those chopsticks. I cleaned those”
Aiba shrugged and settled down at the far corner. He brought some notes with him and his recipe book which he took out and slammed it on the desk. Nino looked over and raised his eyebrow. “Cooking is a doing thing, you know that right? You can’t just read those. There’s no way its going work”
“Well, I’m that good. Give me any recipe and consider it done. I just need to memorize the new ones then I can make these with my eyes close.”
“Bull” Nino said after a hearty laugh.
“Try me!” Aiba said-rather unnecessarily excited in the way that he couldn’t hide-before he stood up, a smug grin on his face. “Throw at me any dessert recipe that you have. Give me ten minutes to memorize it then I can make it.”
Then Nino did, he didn’t just throw in any recipe, he deliberately searched for the hardest one to make. A recipe that requires two pages of explanations and take hours to finish. Aiba, as Nino expected, didn’t reject his offer but frowned a little with all the unique ingredients. After accepting his task, Aiba went home and Nino was left alone.
For the first time after years of working alone, Nino realized how hollow that restaurant could be when he was the only one managing it. Nino sat idly with his hand supporting his chin, before he felt really bored and pulled out his cell phone.
Where are you? I haven’t seen you in weeks.
He pressed send and waited.
I’m on call. Sorry I can’t come by tonight too.
Nino made a ‘tut’ sound.
Sho, I hate you. I really do.
This time he didn’t have to wait.
Please don’t make me sad.
Nino snorted, followed by a grin after.
A friend, Nino thought, should always hang on.
****
Aiba impressed him. The dessert he ate was the most delicious thing he ever had, it was so pretty too; as though it was an item Nino could put on display and sell within seconds.
“How is it?” Aiba asked lightly after Nino finished, a camouflage for his inner eagerness that was bursting like happy bubbles. It was the first time he ever cooked for anyone. “Perfect, isn’t it?”
Nino was moved, but Aiba was being an ass so he shrugged a little “The taste is enough”
Aiba was offended. He spent a day and a half for that kind of dessert. He walked up and down the street and even went all the way across the town to search for good ingredients. He wanted to hear more than ‘the taste is enough’. But Nino was that kind of person after all. To be offended couldn’t have any influence whatsoever to Nino’s natural character. Had Aiba wished for a second that Nino could be more than just ‘the taste is enough’? Maybe.
Aiba didn’t say anything for awhile, but he looked more thoughtful by the second. “I didn’t want to admit it at first, but I guess I’m M after all” he said thoroughly to himself. Nino frowned at him and he wanted to shoot Aiba with questions but didn’t get the chance when Aiba stood up and collected his scattering books. He swung his backpack and walked to the door but then he paused and looked back at Nino.
“I’m very sleepy right now. I can come back tonight, right?”
“Of course” Nino said, clearly nonchalant, but he smiled a bit.
Aiba grinned at Nino, so wide and happy.
A friend, Aiba always knew; accept each other as they are.
****
When Aiba handed him a present for his birthday, Nino realized he wasn’t a very good friend. Probably never was. For the first time he felt he had came in short. He had never given Sho anything for his birthday and they had been friends for fifteen years. But their friendship was never like that. It was mostly ‘embarrassing’, ‘too much for us’ or even ‘cheapskate’ every time they thought about giving each other anything; smearing the fact that it would make both of them happy.
“Nino is so hard to shop for” he heard Sho told his sister once and he didn’t mind.
But looking at Aiba’s present he realized that Aiba didn’t think he was hard to shop for.
“Ice pack” Nino stated the obvious when he opened his present.
“Use it well” Aiba said gingerly.
Nino didn’t speak to Aiba for the rest of the night, not until his restaurant was totally empty and Aiba was already packing to leave. Aiba wouldn’t stop by on Tuesday till Thursday; that was how it always had been-every other day he would always be there.
“Let’s start a restaurant together” Nino said, he was leaning forward to his counter to look at Aiba who was standing at the far end. His eyes were calm as though the words were easy, as though it was nothing more than just asking Aiba to close the door on his way out.
“What?” Aiba asked incredulously. “I already have one”
Nino shrugged. “Well, not like your father’s. A big one. With many branches. With its name everywhere“
“Like KFC?”
Nino looked mildly exasperated for a moment. “Even better” Nino said smiling. He realized how he had meant those words with every breath counting. “It should be really fun. The both of us working together and making dreams come true. It’s now or never.”
I’m so tired of doing this alone.
Aiba was frowning hard, but afterwards his smile was still so wide. “It will take a lot of me to say that to my dad” Aiba said. Then he laughed a bit at Nino’s face and Nino bitched a lot at Aiba’s smile. They fought awhile about a good commercial name and talked about things that they never talked about before. By the end of it all, Nino still meant what he said and Aiba just let some of his happy bubbles to pop at Nino’s face.
“I’m really glad you ask” he said smiling. “I never thought I wanted to do something like this until you said it out loud”
Sappy. Nino thought. But Aiba is gentle that way.
‘Yes!’ was the word that Aiba wanted to say in a heartbeat, but he knew he couldn’t, so he left the restaurant without saying anything too hopeful. He came out from the restaurant to the alleyway.
His house was only five minutes away but as the dark surrounded him and Nino’s voice stopped ringing in his ears the reality of it all dawn to him like concrete to his shoulders.
Those were only talks. There was no way it could happen.
Aiba felt a clench to his heart when he saw how the story of this small part of his life would end. He would have to say no to Nino after a gruesome fight with his dad. He would have to move back home and never come back. He would be stuck in his dad’s expectations forever while keep hanging on the dream he could never have.
Aiba stopped walking because suddenly he didn’t know what else to do.
“Are you alright?” a voice suddenly asked.
Aiba looked up to the person talking to him.
Nino, Aiba realized, never really talked about anyone in his life. He would talk about a drunken man he met in the street, a small girl he wanted to help but ended up crying to his mom, a cat and even rats he fanned off from entering his restaurant-which Aiba wasn’t sure the truth of it all. There was only one time that Nino talked about a friend so Aiba remembers it well.
“Ah!” Aiba said abruptly. “Sakurai!”
“Masaki?” Sho said. He looked bewildered for a moment, before unexpectedly some thoughts hit him and he started to laugh. “Nino nagged you didn’t he?!” he said while still laughing out loud. “Amazing way to mess with him. Nino never nags!”
“Oh” was all Aiba managed to say while smiling sheepishly.
It was the first time they ever met, yet it didn’t felt quite like it.
Sho told Aiba that he was on his way to visit Nino. Aiba asked if Nino was the one who asked him to come; Sho just smiled and said he misses ‘that brat’. Then they talked a little bit more and walked towards a vending machine, Sho bought a drink for him which enlightened Aiba’s face. Aiba didn’t know how it happened but there was something about Sho that made him easy to talk too. He showed interest in every word that Aiba was saying and smiled a lot. After awhile Aiba realized that he had told Sho everything that Nino had asked him.
“It’s OK to say no, if you can’t do it” Sho said finally.
“But he meant it, you know” Aiba said quietly. He left out the part where he felt very happy when Nino asked.
“I know. Nino can ask for a lot of things, but it doesn’t mean you have to do it all. “Sho made a small sigh. “It should have been me cooking with him in that restaurant. I was the one who suggested it after all. Then I realized I have no talent in cooking whatsoever-“
“You can’t cook at all?”
“Death sentence. I swear” Sho said solemnly. “I’m sure Nino would be more than happy if I just become his casher or something. Just to do something together was what the dream meant. But I can’t do that… just like him, I always want to do something more. So I told Nino that”
“How did he take it?”
“He sulked a lot” Sho said laughing. “He didn’t talk to me for days. It was very hard for both of us, but in the end Nino always forgives”
Sho looked at his watch briefly. “I’m totally late!” He said standing up. “I’ll see you around?” he said before he left.
But Aiba didn’t answer.
He watched Sho walk towards the restaurant which was still visible. He watched as Nino shut the restaurant door and refused to let Sho in. There was some talking which ended up with Sho slightly whining, but only when Sho pretended to leave that Nino opened the door.
“Sore loser” was the word he welcomed Sho with.
This, Aiba felt, was the feeling that he would definitely miss.
****
Aiba didn’t come back for few weeks. Nino pondered a lot about visiting Aiba at his place, but he knew he wouldn’t find him there. Nino knew that Aiba had left to his hometown that Nino had no idea exactly where.
It was quiet, too quiet for him to bear.
‘Nino, I can’t do it’ was the short massage Aiba sent him after a month.
Nino remembered when the first time Sho had said ‘no’ to him. He was very angry at first and he regretted that. There were times that Sho got wonderful news from his medical school but couldn’t share it with Nino. It wasn’t supposed to be that way at all because Sho tells him everything. They made peace in the end but Nino knew that there was something they can no longer talk about to each other.
About building dreams together.
It’s OK, it doesn’t matter.
Nino replied.
Just come back here.
But Aiba never did.
****
Aiba always wakes up to a warm smell.
He grew up to always be surrounded by something warm. He grew up to always be liked by so many people too. If there was a term that is close to the word ‘Popular’ but brings a temperate meaning, Aiba could perfectly define that. He was always kind so everyone knew him. But he didn’t belong to any clique or became a leader to any pack. Aiba, in any way, was always floating around from one person to another, close enough to make easy conversations and enjoyable times.
He never had the kind of friend that could make him cry when he thinks about leaving and never coming back.
Nino-Aiba only realized as he quickly wiped unexpected tears from the edge of his chin while looking out the train’s window-was that kind of friend.
It has been two years since he left.
Aiba swore to himself that he could never forget the warm smell that came from that small restaurant, but he must be stupid after all because eventually he did forget. Waking up to warm a smell is mere rituals now-it used to be a privilege.
“Ah, good morning, dad” he said, smiling.
His dad nods and smiles a little but is too occupied to avert his eyes from the paper he’s reading. Aiba pulls a chair and sits next to him. There is something odd about the way he can effortlessly sit next to that old man without going through clutters of dishes or a scene of a busy kitchen.
It takes him another ten minutes to figure out what is different. Aiba almost topples the chair he sat on while standing up when he figures it out. He runs towards the restaurant’s kitchen, his heart beating fast.
This warm smell.
“Nino!”
And there he is; standing near the stove, just like when he met him for the first time.
Nino looks at him with somehow a guilty smile and an atmosphere that almost says ‘if-you-try -relate-me-to-the-word-pathetic-I’m-jumping-on-the-next-train-back’.
It took a lot of him get there; Aiba can at least tell that without asking.
Aiba wants to cry with happiness. He wants to hug Nino tight and-if he could hide every single knife in that kitchen-swing him round and round like a little boy. But Nino wouldn’t like that, so he let the beat of his heart slows a little and walks towards Nino. He slowly put a hand on Nino’s shoulder.
“Nino” He said with a tight voice.
Oh, hell.
Crying with happiness is not that bad of an idea after all.
“Sappy” Nino said while looking at Aiba’s red eyes and runny nose. “What a dirty way to cry”
“I-I-I really-really miss-you. Why-do“
‘To do something together was what the dream meant.’ Was the perfect and awesome word that he wanted to say to Aiba. But then his phone rings.
“What?!” Nino answered, with an angry voice but Aiba swears he sees a pleased expression behind all those frowns. NIno had been waiting for that call.
He can hear Sho whining at the end of the line, asking when he can see him. Then they talk about nothing at all which probably means everything to them. At the end of the conversation, Sho was whiny again, asking how he can make long calls with lower rates.
“If you miss me that much come over here! I’m working, you know!”
Aiba laughs; in a way he had forgotten that he can.
Sho will come to visit; there is no reason to doubt that.
Then they talk a lot about what they had missed. About the things that always wanted to do and the chances that now they can grab. Nino coming over gives a lot of different meaning to what form their future can take. Maybe it will take longer for them to shape their dreams into solid reality, but Aiba knows with his whole heart that he will enjoy every step.
A great friend, Aiba always knows, is the person that Nino is.