i want the ocean right now

i got to get outside the city.

my friends keep letting me down
excuses, selfishness, ignorance

I've been getting by alright (alright's okay for the day to day). I guess I'm still alive in the physical sense that my heart still beats... barely. Spending as much time as i do trying to escape reality can hardly be considering living. I feel like a shadow of the person I once was--a ghost. My insecurities perpetuate my indecision; there is no ( Read more... )

i...

need to make a change.
decided im going to start bartending after i turn 21. 
want to move again but i dont know where. 
want to meet someone new but i keep going back.
need a haircut.
need to practice cello more. 
want a new bike.
need to get internet on my own computer.
want to smoke (havent in three weeks)
drink too much espresso
want to do lsd
miss ( Read more... )

so i was really excited to hear the new cursive album. i even held on to it for a day without listening to it to let the anticipation build. then i finally listened to it and...it is god awful. what the hell. i was hoping it would sound like their older stuff but no. i was and continue to be very disapointed in it. i couldnt even listen to it the ( Read more... )

i am a train wreck.


( Read more... )

last night my sister got mugged two blocks away from our apartment. the two black twenty-somthing-year-olds stole her entire purse containing her wallet(credit cards...drivers license with our address on it), checkbook, ipod, cell phone, all of her keys and everything else that was in there. the police cant do anything about it and she will never ( Read more... )

my friend michelle just got fucking married. what the hell right? i am thoroughly excited for her. so young...so soon...whatever. im happy for her and her man. nikki k is picking me up for the reception in a bit. i have a new crush. i always have to have a crush. its so stupid. i work with him. i had an interview at american apparel that i missed ( Read more... )

Main Entry: es·cap·ism ( Read more... )