IT STARTED OUT AS JUST ONE...
THE RAVEN ESSAY
or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Awkwardness
or This Is Still Illegal In Most Countries
or Hey Raven, Your Username Holds True!
or Wouldn't Judith Be A Better Choice For Both Of Us?
or These Subtitles Are Inaccurate To The Exact Nature Of The Relationship So Just Read The Essay.
Naoto and Raven have been friends for a while; he's probably the person she feels closest to in Camp who isn't a cast member. In terms of the people Naoto considers her friends, this is significant; the people she's closest to (members of the Investigation Team) she's known for a little over a year or so, and Raven she's only known for about ten months. Naoto still isn't fully accustomed to having a large group of close friends, or even friendly acquaintances; she's had enough time in Camp to adjust to it somewhat, but there are still moments that trip her up. Raven has been the cause of a lot of these moments in Naoto's Camp experience, where she has to take a step back and look at what's happening objectively because it baffles her so much.
It's worth mentioning here that Naoto's perception of How Life Works had to be altered drastically when she arrived in Camp, and doing that was kind of a difficult process for her, because she used to operate on a very rigid outlook of Right and Wrong. Even in Inaba, where she experienced firsthand the probability of things happening outside the normal scope of reality, it was still clear to her what Good and Evil was, and what was to be tolerated and what wasn't. In Camp, these basic ideas -- things like people who would otherwise be considered criminals running free, the lack of law enforcement or any type of natural law being obeyed -- were no longer cut-and-dried. Naoto is still, in some ways, adjusting to this. But the fact that she's had to relax her normal expectations accounts for a lot of her in-Camp relationship development with people such as Jennifer, Judith, and of course Raven.
Naoto trusts Raven a lot, and feels that Raven trusts her considerably in return. Threads like the Crossdresser's Ball where Naoto is in a vulnerable state and Raven explains part of his backstory as a way to offer some of his own vulnerability are defining moments in that build-up of trust. It's really important to note this because without it, Naoto wouldn't have reacted to Raven's confession of being attracted to her nearly as well as she did. Her reaction, by the way, was to be utterly baffled at the idea to the point of disbelief, and then politely decline. (Raven's reiteration later on only served to confuse her more, sadly.) This is actually pretty favorable -- Naoto's normal reaction to a 35-year-old man telling her he thinks she's hot probably involves pistol-whipping. But! Because it was Raven, someone she considers a close friend, it only led to confusion and awkwardness.
Originally, Naoto's response to Raven's flirtatiousness was to just shrug it off and chalk it up to an eccentric personality trait, much like how she reacts to Yousuke's douche comments and Rise's draping and innuendo. This is still how she reacts to Raven flirting for the most part, but now she knows that not only is he occasionally serious with his flirting, but that he also uses it as a defense mechanism. Naoto doesn't always know how to deal with either of those situations perfectly, but she knows how to recognize them when they happen, which is a step in the right direction.
Naoto also recognizes that if she and Raven had met outside of Camp, she probably would have considered him deviant enough to warrant an arrest, or at the very least an investigation. Ironically, a good portion of the friends Naoto's made in Camp fall under this category (as previously mentioned, Judith and Jennifer are also here). I think on a subconscious level, Naoto allows herself to get to know people she categorizes like this because she wants to broaden her view as it pertains to her job as a detective; it's sort of like getting to know the criminal mindset, except she doesn't regard them as "criminals" per se, but as otherwise normal people whose situations force them to run afoul of the law. Jennifer is a good example of this because she didn't choose to be a man-eating killer, and Naoto realizes that Jennifer is doing what she needs to do to survive, even if she could be doing it a hell of a lot better than she is. Part of Naoto's eternal quest involves examining the law and understanding the problems with it and the areas that need improvement. Naoto's smart enough to know the difference between someone who steals just because they can, and someone who steals to support their family. Recognizing and interpreting the distinction there is how Naoto makes a lot of decisions in Camp.
Naoto's relationship with herself is invariably tied to her job -- how she perceives herself and presents herself to the world is pretty much always going to involve being a detective. It's ingrained. It's who she is. And that's awesome, as far as she's concerned! But it is always going to impact her relationships with other people, and even though she won't say it, in the back of Naoto's mind is the reminder that people she encounters in Camp would by and large not be people she would encounter/want to be associated with outside of Camp. Not because she doesn't like them, but because of legal issues. Naoto realizes that one day she is probably going to run into the dilemma of being the "bad guy"; that there will be a time when she needs to choose between personal feelings and justice, and that she will have to pick justice. This kind of decision doesn't come up in Camp, but it's still something she thinks about occasionally, especially when being aware of the fact that her closest non-castmate friend in Camp is a man over twice her age who finds her attractive.
Sometimes this is a bit too weird for Naoto to ignore. But! She does, truly and honestly, trust Raven to know her boundaries and to respect them and her. And he does. And so they get on as friends who can talk casually as well as seriously, and things work out fine. But Naoto has her moments where she needs to remind herself that the life she has in Camp is going to be separate from her life in Inaba. If ever the two were to cross over, Naoto would not know what to do. This is also one of the reasons why she doesn't pursue more serious relationships in Camp, though the major reason is because she's not entirely comfortable with physical and emotional intimacy; while Naoto does have a more positive body image, she is still gradually improving and has areas she needs to work on. The day Naoto walks out of her room not wearing her bindings under her clothes (as in, just wearing a bra under her shirt) is going to be A Big Deal. She's closer to that day than she was a year ago, but she's still got a ways to go.
That having been said, there are people in Camp Naoto is attracted to, on multiple levels. Naoto probably won't ever be the one to suggest a relationship with another person, because Naoto regards serious romantic relationships as distracting and too much of an unnecessary hassle, and doesn't want something like that interfering with her work. And when you have someone who lives and breathes their job, it's not going to be easy to change their mind. (Sidenote: Naoto was Jennifer's fake!boyfriend for about five minutes not because of any physical chemistry between them, but because Naoto was concerned for Jennifer, knows that Jennifer can be reckless with herself, and didn't want Jennifer to find some random stranger to fill the role instead. It was more of a strategic move than anything, I think.)
Naoto is pretty evenly bisexual, but not open at all when it comes to physical attraction; that's something she's always preferred to keep private, but unfortunately she doesn't often have that kind of luxury in Camp. Over the past year, she's opened up juuuuust slightly in that area, as a result of getting used to Camp's shenanigans. On a physical level, Jennifer is probably the person Naoto finds most attractive. On a mental and emotional level, she's very likely the last person Naoto finds attractive. That's why Naoto can't get over Jennifer's suggestions of a casual physical relationship: Naoto couldn't stand being in a relationship with someone she couldn't connect to beyond making out, it just wouldn't sit well with her. They do find common ground and understandings sometimes (and when they do, Naoto does kind of like Jennifer), but it's far too few for Naoto to seriously consider a relationship with Jennifer. And that's not even taking into account the problems Naoto has with Jennifer killing and eating people, which is another can of worms.
Judith is someone Naoto finds attractive physically and mentally -- they get along well as friends, and Naoto trusts Judith almost as much as she trusts Raven. Judith intimidates her sometimes, which I'm... not entirely sure is a deterrent for Naoto COUGH COUGH but she respects Judith immensely and more than anything just enjoys talking to her and learning things from her. Judith telling Naoto she finds her attractive was another baffling moment for Naoto, because she very nearly told Judith she feels the same. Really, the things that are holding Naoto back in regards to saying "yes" to Judith are the fact that she's still not 100% comfortable with casual physical relationships, her body issues aren't going away, and that she wouldn't be friends with Judith outside of Camp -- therefore the relationship (friendship or otherwise) doesn't have a future, as far as Naoto is concerned. If it was just down to attraction, Naoto would have said yes weeks ago.
Which brings us to Raven! Now... the biggest factor here is Raven's age. Naoto will never convince herself that finding a significantly older man an attractive pursuit is a smart idea, no matter how separate her lives in Camp and in Inaba are. It's the bottom line for Naoto in either situation. There is no "what happens in Vegas" mentality, exactly; she can experience things in Camp she wouldn't be able to normally (even to the point of toeing the legal line), but once it crosses over into debauchery, all bets are off. That having been said, she does think Raven is attractive to a degree. There is some mild physical attraction, but more than that she and Raven have an emotional connection that she doesn't have with very many other people. And that's something really important to Naoto, something she doesn't want to lose when she has to return to Inaba, though it would be difficult for her to admit. Naoto knows that she and Raven need to stay casual friends, because anything more than that is not going to end well for anyone involved. Naoto may feel grumpy about her age, but she recognizes that she's still a teenager no matter how grown-up she feels. And that lines have to be drawn somewhere, and Naoto will pretty much always be the first one to draw them.
Of course, only about half of this is stuff Naoto has thought about consciously; some of it she can sort-of identify on feelings alone, and even thinking about it deeply frustrates her because it means there's more things about herself that she has hidden. When people tell Naoto they think she's hot, her immediate reaction is disbelief. When pressed about why she thinks that, Naoto will grudgingly admit that yes, it's possible people find her attractive, and yes, they're probably not depraved individuals -- she just can't fathom their taste. But the disbelief is really a reflex: she doesn't think about her appearance in terms of how good she looks... ever. She is concerned with how masculine/feminine she appears, but it never involves the thought, "Do I look good like this?" So while she could be thinking about her attractiveness, she never does unless someone else brings it up.
In which case, she'll probably put the thought out of her mind five minutes later. I think some of this has to do with her struggle to be recognized as being just as smart and able as a man in the same profession. Naoto understands that in a patriarchal society, women's values are so heavily influenced by how pretty they look, and Naoto finds that inherently problematic. She never wants her usefulness to be decided based upon anything other than her intelligence and capability. So, as a result, she pays very little mind to her physical attractiveness. Naoto also knows what society thinks is conventionally attractive, and Naoto believes she does not fit that standard, and that's fine for her since it has very little bearing on what she wants to do with her life. But it's why she feels confused when discovering love letters from other girls in her shoe locker at school, when Rise tells her she's cute, when Kanji blushes and stammers around her, when people say that she'd make a hot guy, when Jennifer lets her hands wander (sidenote: Naoto considers Jennifer completely depraved), and when Raven and Judith tell Naoto they're attracted to her.
She just does not comprehend it.
DID THAT MAKE ANY SENSE AT ALL OR DID I JUST RAMBLE FOR THIRTEEN PARAGRAPHS
or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Awkwardness
or This Is Still Illegal In Most Countries
or Hey Raven, Your Username Holds True!
or Wouldn't Judith Be A Better Choice For Both Of Us?
or These Subtitles Are Inaccurate To The Exact Nature Of The Relationship So Just Read The Essay.
Naoto and Raven have been friends for a while; he's probably the person she feels closest to in Camp who isn't a cast member. In terms of the people Naoto considers her friends, this is significant; the people she's closest to (members of the Investigation Team) she's known for a little over a year or so, and Raven she's only known for about ten months. Naoto still isn't fully accustomed to having a large group of close friends, or even friendly acquaintances; she's had enough time in Camp to adjust to it somewhat, but there are still moments that trip her up. Raven has been the cause of a lot of these moments in Naoto's Camp experience, where she has to take a step back and look at what's happening objectively because it baffles her so much.
It's worth mentioning here that Naoto's perception of How Life Works had to be altered drastically when she arrived in Camp, and doing that was kind of a difficult process for her, because she used to operate on a very rigid outlook of Right and Wrong. Even in Inaba, where she experienced firsthand the probability of things happening outside the normal scope of reality, it was still clear to her what Good and Evil was, and what was to be tolerated and what wasn't. In Camp, these basic ideas -- things like people who would otherwise be considered criminals running free, the lack of law enforcement or any type of natural law being obeyed -- were no longer cut-and-dried. Naoto is still, in some ways, adjusting to this. But the fact that she's had to relax her normal expectations accounts for a lot of her in-Camp relationship development with people such as Jennifer, Judith, and of course Raven.
Naoto trusts Raven a lot, and feels that Raven trusts her considerably in return. Threads like the Crossdresser's Ball where Naoto is in a vulnerable state and Raven explains part of his backstory as a way to offer some of his own vulnerability are defining moments in that build-up of trust. It's really important to note this because without it, Naoto wouldn't have reacted to Raven's confession of being attracted to her nearly as well as she did. Her reaction, by the way, was to be utterly baffled at the idea to the point of disbelief, and then politely decline. (Raven's reiteration later on only served to confuse her more, sadly.) This is actually pretty favorable -- Naoto's normal reaction to a 35-year-old man telling her he thinks she's hot probably involves pistol-whipping. But! Because it was Raven, someone she considers a close friend, it only led to confusion and awkwardness.
Originally, Naoto's response to Raven's flirtatiousness was to just shrug it off and chalk it up to an eccentric personality trait, much like how she reacts to Yousuke's douche comments and Rise's draping and innuendo. This is still how she reacts to Raven flirting for the most part, but now she knows that not only is he occasionally serious with his flirting, but that he also uses it as a defense mechanism. Naoto doesn't always know how to deal with either of those situations perfectly, but she knows how to recognize them when they happen, which is a step in the right direction.
Naoto also recognizes that if she and Raven had met outside of Camp, she probably would have considered him deviant enough to warrant an arrest, or at the very least an investigation. Ironically, a good portion of the friends Naoto's made in Camp fall under this category (as previously mentioned, Judith and Jennifer are also here). I think on a subconscious level, Naoto allows herself to get to know people she categorizes like this because she wants to broaden her view as it pertains to her job as a detective; it's sort of like getting to know the criminal mindset, except she doesn't regard them as "criminals" per se, but as otherwise normal people whose situations force them to run afoul of the law. Jennifer is a good example of this because she didn't choose to be a man-eating killer, and Naoto realizes that Jennifer is doing what she needs to do to survive, even if she could be doing it a hell of a lot better than she is. Part of Naoto's eternal quest involves examining the law and understanding the problems with it and the areas that need improvement. Naoto's smart enough to know the difference between someone who steals just because they can, and someone who steals to support their family. Recognizing and interpreting the distinction there is how Naoto makes a lot of decisions in Camp.
Naoto's relationship with herself is invariably tied to her job -- how she perceives herself and presents herself to the world is pretty much always going to involve being a detective. It's ingrained. It's who she is. And that's awesome, as far as she's concerned! But it is always going to impact her relationships with other people, and even though she won't say it, in the back of Naoto's mind is the reminder that people she encounters in Camp would by and large not be people she would encounter/want to be associated with outside of Camp. Not because she doesn't like them, but because of legal issues. Naoto realizes that one day she is probably going to run into the dilemma of being the "bad guy"; that there will be a time when she needs to choose between personal feelings and justice, and that she will have to pick justice. This kind of decision doesn't come up in Camp, but it's still something she thinks about occasionally, especially when being aware of the fact that her closest non-castmate friend in Camp is a man over twice her age who finds her attractive.
Sometimes this is a bit too weird for Naoto to ignore. But! She does, truly and honestly, trust Raven to know her boundaries and to respect them and her. And he does. And so they get on as friends who can talk casually as well as seriously, and things work out fine. But Naoto has her moments where she needs to remind herself that the life she has in Camp is going to be separate from her life in Inaba. If ever the two were to cross over, Naoto would not know what to do. This is also one of the reasons why she doesn't pursue more serious relationships in Camp, though the major reason is because she's not entirely comfortable with physical and emotional intimacy; while Naoto does have a more positive body image, she is still gradually improving and has areas she needs to work on. The day Naoto walks out of her room not wearing her bindings under her clothes (as in, just wearing a bra under her shirt) is going to be A Big Deal. She's closer to that day than she was a year ago, but she's still got a ways to go.
That having been said, there are people in Camp Naoto is attracted to, on multiple levels. Naoto probably won't ever be the one to suggest a relationship with another person, because Naoto regards serious romantic relationships as distracting and too much of an unnecessary hassle, and doesn't want something like that interfering with her work. And when you have someone who lives and breathes their job, it's not going to be easy to change their mind. (Sidenote: Naoto was Jennifer's fake!boyfriend for about five minutes not because of any physical chemistry between them, but because Naoto was concerned for Jennifer, knows that Jennifer can be reckless with herself, and didn't want Jennifer to find some random stranger to fill the role instead. It was more of a strategic move than anything, I think.)
Naoto is pretty evenly bisexual, but not open at all when it comes to physical attraction; that's something she's always preferred to keep private, but unfortunately she doesn't often have that kind of luxury in Camp. Over the past year, she's opened up juuuuust slightly in that area, as a result of getting used to Camp's shenanigans. On a physical level, Jennifer is probably the person Naoto finds most attractive. On a mental and emotional level, she's very likely the last person Naoto finds attractive. That's why Naoto can't get over Jennifer's suggestions of a casual physical relationship: Naoto couldn't stand being in a relationship with someone she couldn't connect to beyond making out, it just wouldn't sit well with her. They do find common ground and understandings sometimes (and when they do, Naoto does kind of like Jennifer), but it's far too few for Naoto to seriously consider a relationship with Jennifer. And that's not even taking into account the problems Naoto has with Jennifer killing and eating people, which is another can of worms.
Judith is someone Naoto finds attractive physically and mentally -- they get along well as friends, and Naoto trusts Judith almost as much as she trusts Raven. Judith intimidates her sometimes, which I'm... not entirely sure is a deterrent for Naoto COUGH COUGH but she respects Judith immensely and more than anything just enjoys talking to her and learning things from her. Judith telling Naoto she finds her attractive was another baffling moment for Naoto, because she very nearly told Judith she feels the same. Really, the things that are holding Naoto back in regards to saying "yes" to Judith are the fact that she's still not 100% comfortable with casual physical relationships, her body issues aren't going away, and that she wouldn't be friends with Judith outside of Camp -- therefore the relationship (friendship or otherwise) doesn't have a future, as far as Naoto is concerned. If it was just down to attraction, Naoto would have said yes weeks ago.
Which brings us to Raven! Now... the biggest factor here is Raven's age. Naoto will never convince herself that finding a significantly older man an attractive pursuit is a smart idea, no matter how separate her lives in Camp and in Inaba are. It's the bottom line for Naoto in either situation. There is no "what happens in Vegas" mentality, exactly; she can experience things in Camp she wouldn't be able to normally (even to the point of toeing the legal line), but once it crosses over into debauchery, all bets are off. That having been said, she does think Raven is attractive to a degree. There is some mild physical attraction, but more than that she and Raven have an emotional connection that she doesn't have with very many other people. And that's something really important to Naoto, something she doesn't want to lose when she has to return to Inaba, though it would be difficult for her to admit. Naoto knows that she and Raven need to stay casual friends, because anything more than that is not going to end well for anyone involved. Naoto may feel grumpy about her age, but she recognizes that she's still a teenager no matter how grown-up she feels. And that lines have to be drawn somewhere, and Naoto will pretty much always be the first one to draw them.
Of course, only about half of this is stuff Naoto has thought about consciously; some of it she can sort-of identify on feelings alone, and even thinking about it deeply frustrates her because it means there's more things about herself that she has hidden. When people tell Naoto they think she's hot, her immediate reaction is disbelief. When pressed about why she thinks that, Naoto will grudgingly admit that yes, it's possible people find her attractive, and yes, they're probably not depraved individuals -- she just can't fathom their taste. But the disbelief is really a reflex: she doesn't think about her appearance in terms of how good she looks... ever. She is concerned with how masculine/feminine she appears, but it never involves the thought, "Do I look good like this?" So while she could be thinking about her attractiveness, she never does unless someone else brings it up.
In which case, she'll probably put the thought out of her mind five minutes later. I think some of this has to do with her struggle to be recognized as being just as smart and able as a man in the same profession. Naoto understands that in a patriarchal society, women's values are so heavily influenced by how pretty they look, and Naoto finds that inherently problematic. She never wants her usefulness to be decided based upon anything other than her intelligence and capability. So, as a result, she pays very little mind to her physical attractiveness. Naoto also knows what society thinks is conventionally attractive, and Naoto believes she does not fit that standard, and that's fine for her since it has very little bearing on what she wants to do with her life. But it's why she feels confused when discovering love letters from other girls in her shoe locker at school, when Rise tells her she's cute, when Kanji blushes and stammers around her, when people say that she'd make a hot guy, when Jennifer lets her hands wander (sidenote: Naoto considers Jennifer completely depraved), and when Raven and Judith tell Naoto they're attracted to her.
She just does not comprehend it.
DID THAT MAKE ANY SENSE AT ALL OR DID I JUST RAMBLE FOR THIRTEEN PARAGRAPHS